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    Hindsight often brought things into perspective. Shane believed that if he were ever handed the keys to a time machine, he wouldn’t change anything about his life. But now that he was metaphorically sitting in the driver’s seat, keys in the ignition, he realized that was a fucking lie.

    or

    Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov find themselves back in 2017.

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    12 Mar 2026

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    “I told you. Hollander and I, we are in love. He is my hockey player.” Ilya wiggled his eyebrows at the joke, but couldn’t keep himself from watching Scott Hunter.
    “Sure, Roz. You and Hollander are in love, want to get married, spend the rest of your lives playing hockey together.” When Ilya didn’t immediately reply to that very accurate statement, Hunter continued: “If you two are in love, I’m straight. That’s how likely that is.” He had laughed and skated away, though Ilya really hadn’t understood what was supposed to be funny about that.
    Standing alone on the ice, the crowd slowly filing out of the rink, Ilya was faced with a startling realization: telling people may be harder than he thought.
    or
    What if Shane gave Ilya permission to soft launch their relationship. Ilya is, of course, thrilled and immediately starts telling everyone around him. Problem is, no one believes him!

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    12 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “You have a message from: Lily.” The automated voice read out.

    Shane almost swerved into the other lane trying to press the mute button on the dashboard.

    ”Woah, eyes on the road, dude!” Hayden yelled.

    “Ayyy!” J.J cheered. “The famous Boston Lily! Let’s hear what she has to say.”

    The automated voice continued. “Can’t wait to have my [tongue emoji] in your [peach emoji].”

    (while shane is driving certain texts get read out by the car's bluetooth)

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    11 Mar 2026

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    “I’m putting in a transfer request to Carleton this afternoon.”

    Ilya gets off his bike and wraps his sweaty arms around Shane’s sweaty shoulders, presses their sweaty heads together and holds him tight. “Nooo, Hollander, you cannot leave me. Who will put Barrett and Marly in time out when they fuck up too many shots in a row?”

    “I’m sure Bood will do it. He loves bossing people around.”

    Bood stands up straight and salutes his captains. “I take the title with great honor. Enjoy the Ravens, Hollander—your legacy of being a chaste Victorian debutante will be remembered fondly but not carried on.”

    This snaps that last thread of Shane’s refined patience. “I can pick up girls! I have no problem getting numbers and calling them and talking!”

    Hazy smirks. “Innocent until proven guilty.”

    “I can pick people up,” Shane says again, moving off his bike and out of Ilya’s sweaty embrace. “And I don’t have to do it by concocting schemes or stripping on top of the LAX bros’ coffee table.”

    Or, after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally

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    11 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    CTV Ottawa✅ @ctvottawa
    #BREAKING: Shane Hollander signs new contract with Ottawa Centaurs


    Shane Hollander signs with Ottawa.

    The internet, of course, reacts with some of the funniest responses (with a fair amount of despair). Other players of the league commiserate.

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    10 Mar 2026