sweetnightmare53
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Two Idiot Virgins Experience A Period For The First Time by BigBadBean (gegnabean)
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
01 Apr 2024
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Summary
Usopp gets his first period, unfortunately he’s never had the concept of a period explained to him. Sanji is just as in the dark as he is but tries his best to help.
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“Zoro…?” He asks. “You good?”
Then, that piney, resinous scent hits Usopp’s nose again, the intensity of it nearly knocking him backward. Zoro smells like he’s in rut— or at the very least, on the cusp of it.
“Where’d you get that?” He’s not even looking Usopp in the face, just staring at his body like his eyes are on his stomach.
“At L--Lumina Lounge. They uh, had a gift shop.” Usopp's voice wavers as he speaks, taking a step back before he even realizes why. Zoro still doesn’t say anything. His eye stays trained on Usopp as he paces toward the wall. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because you look good.” Zoro shifts on the bench, turning to face him. “Like, really good.”
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Or, Usopp bets money that Zoro won't be phased by him wearing some silly little lingerie.
He's never been the lucky type.
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let all the poisons that lurk in the mud seep out by bluebreeze (rusticthrill)
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga)
12 Apr 2021
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“I’m trying to get to know you better,” Aoi said, “I like tall women with big butts.”
Noritoshi raised his own brows, eyes opened. “Surely, there are other things we could bond over.”
“This lets me know if you’re boring or not,” Aoi nodded, intense eyes narrowed back onto Noritoshi’s face. “And your type is…?”
“Erm,” Noritoshi said, floundering. “I guess someone strong.”
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Usopp decides he's sick of Zoro and Sanji's constant bickering- especially when it's clear as day to him that they are in love with each other. He recruits Luffy to help him execute his plan- the only problem is, they keep forgetting to set the two men up.
Or- 25k words of Usopp being oblivious to his surroundings and Luffy being cuddly.
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Fuck, Marry, Kill (or, how Usopp becomes the best matchmaker of the sea without really trying) by adietxt
Fandoms: One Piece
14 Oct 2018
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Everyone wants to marry Zoro. Hypothetically. Sanji can’t believe everyone would pick that useless patch of growing mold over him, and considers killing Zoro. Not hypothetically.
He has a list on why Zoro would be the Worst Husband Ever, not that he spends a lot of time thinking of a (purely hypothetical!) situation where he is married to Zoro, fuck you very much.
(a.k.a, the one where Usopp invented Fuck, Marry, Kill.)