sxsosm
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,386
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- 30,064
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- 11,939
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Bookmarked by sxsosm
10 Mar 2026
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Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2022
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Hermione straddles the Muggle and Magical worlds as a medical researcher and Healer about to make a big discovery. Draco is an Auror assigned to protect her from forces unknown – to both of their displeasure.
Features hyper-competent, fiery Hermione and lazy, yet dangerous, Draco. Slow burn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 199,548
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Collections:
- 207
- Comments:
- 13,226
- Kudos:
- 97,262
- Bookmarks:
- 30,293
- Hits:
- 5,266,102
Bookmarked by sxsosm
06 Mar 2026
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“Which do you think makes you feel most loved?”
Eddie thought for a long moment. Too long, maybe. Then he shrugged, “Honestly, Buck? I have no idea.”
Buck’s brows pinched up. “What do you mean? When have you felt the most loved?”
“Don’t make a big thing of this, Buck. Promise?”
Buck made a show of crossing his heart, brows still raised curiously.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever… really felt loved in a relationship? I’m not convinced that I know what makes me feel loved…”
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After finding out that Eddie doesn't know what his love language is, Buck sets about finding out for him. He begins a five week experiment, one for each love language, to figure out which will make Eddie feel the most loved.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,332
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 412
- Kudos:
- 11,932
- Bookmarks:
- 3,032
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- 98,820
Bookmarked by sxsosm
23 Feb 2026
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He’s just some stupid kid that nobody wanted and everyone had to deal with, and he’ll always be that because he’ll never be Daniel. He’ll never be first choice, or even second, or even third. He’ll always be the last to know, the one that people lie to because he doesn’t know how to compartmentalise.
He’s that angry, stupid, childish boy that steal firetrucks and sleeps in someone else’s house and fucks his best friend when he’s upset.
Buck screams and screams and screams and nobody comes for him.
OR
Buck grows up angry, Maddie triggers the catalyst, and he's going to burn the whole world down around him.
Series
Bookmarked by sxsosm
22 Jan 2026
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“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.”
Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him.
“That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him.
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or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,258
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 619
- Kudos:
- 19,806
- Bookmarks:
- 4,970
- Hits:
- 226,684
Bookmarked by sxsosm
21 Jan 2026