thatsweirdd
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I Think My Professor Is a Pornstar by softkombucha
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Jan 2026
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Summary
“That’s him, Hermione. Oh my god, that’s his voice, that’s literally Professor Malfoy. The jaw, the eyes, even the way he…oh god, even the way he talks.” Ginny let out a gasp, clutching the duvet.
“See! See? I told you! I’ve been losing my mind for a week over this. There’s no way. Right? What are the odds?” Hermione punched her pillow in triumph.
“That’s absolutely mental. But you’re right, it looks just like him. Like! exactly him. If that’s not him then he needs to sue someone for….for….I don’t know! Something!” Ginny shook her head, blinking like she needed to clear her vision.
“It’s crazy, isn’t it? I keep telling myself I was being insane, but every time he talks in class, it’s all I hear. I’m going to fail English because my professor is possibly a pornstar.” Hermione let out a relieved breath upon hearing the confirmation from her best friend.
A modern muggle AU in which Hermione Granger suddenly starts to suspect that her insanely attractive English professor might be moonlighting as an adult film star known as Big Roman.
Bookmarked by thatsweirdd
26 Nov 2025
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Summary
“We can pretend,” she whispers, tugging on him. “Like we used to.”
Or: a step-sibling incest AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,879
- Chapters:
- 7/?
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 860
- Kudos:
- 1,327
- Bookmarks:
- 252
- Hits:
- 31,853
Bookmarked by thatsweirdd
04 Nov 2025
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By day, Hermione Granger is the Ministry’s golden girl, quietly rebuilding the world she helped save. By night, behind a silver mask and a new name, she becomes Viola, star dancer at Aurelia, an exclusive club hidden between the Muggle and Wizarding worlds. No fame. No expectations. Just power, anonymity, and the intoxicating thrill of control.
When Draco Malfoy, curse-breaker, DMLE liaison, and reluctant public figure, is dragged to the club by old friends, he’s captivated by the masked woman who commands the stage. Viola is magnetic, hauntingly familiar, and nothing like the Hermione Granger he thinks he knows.
He doesn’t recognize her.
She’s counting on it.A slow-burn tale of secrets, reinvention, and the dangerous beauty of being truly seen.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,112
- Chapters:
- 19/22
- Comments:
- 357
- Kudos:
- 511
- Bookmarks:
- 401
- Hits:
- 27,929
Bookmarked by thatsweirdd
06 Sep 2025
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Summary
Nine years ago a child was taken from its family. Emmeline Nott was gone and it changed everything. As a result, life was never the same again for Theodore Nott. Having lost his twin sister at a young age, he slowly lost his parents until one day they were both gone. He then found himself moved in with the Malfoys and eventually a fourth year at Durmstrang Institute, applying to spend a year abroad in England at the school his parents had always intended for him and his sister to attend. Now he's here, but the swotty brunette who sits in front of him in class is giving him flashbacks to the childhood he once had and though his best mate's trying to assure him otherwise, he can't help wondering why it is she looks so much like photos of his dead mother.
Told from the POVs of Hermione and Draco, narrators will be (un)reliable as they work through finding each other, falling in love, and figuring out what happened all those years ago that made everything go so terribly wrong.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 155,470
- Chapters:
- 33/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,000
- Kudos:
- 1,836
- Bookmarks:
- 1,233
- Hits:
- 133,415
Bookmarked by thatsweirdd
31 Jul 2025
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Summary
He's always watched her. He can't help it. Merlin help him, he's been fucking trying though.
She hates him. He's a vile, bigoted arsehole. Of all the people who have made her feel small, who have made her have to fight and scrape and claw for her place in this world ever since she was eleven, he's the worst of them all.
But when things take a turn at the Yule Ball, Draco Malfoy decides he's done fighting himself, and Hermione Granger is left floored, struggling to understand this new, strange version of him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 205,099
- Chapters:
- 56/?
- Comments:
- 3,195
- Kudos:
- 3,186
- Bookmarks:
- 1,805
- Hits:
- 223,106
Bookmarked by thatsweirdd
11 Nov 2024