thunderjammer
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This is just a silly, goofy oneshot inspired by discussions from The Mentalist Bullpen discord server -- what would happen if the CBI team went to Korean BBQ? Set between episodes in Season 5, as canon compliant as it can be.
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After being tortured and turned by the prolific serial killer Red John, Patrick Jane becomes the Covert Bureau of Supernatural Investigations' first vampire consultant. Teresa Lisbon is a woman who attracts death at every turn. And despite her distrust in the undead, the former conman turned walking corpse might just be the very thing she needs to bring Red John to justice -- but how many humans and strange folk will end up dead before then? And why is Lisbon keeping her own supernatural identity close to her chest?
A burning gold cross around her neck isn't enough to keep Jane away as he, Lisbon, Wayne Rigsby, Kimball Cho, and Grace Van Pelt navigate the dual worlds of the mundane and the monstrous solving cases to move deeper into Red John's impenetrable defenses. Because death comes for them all, eventually. And no one walks away unchanged.
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You know what they call rookie roller derby skaters? Fresh meat. Jackie doesn't even like roller derby anyways. Shauna's the one who enjoys strapping on wheels and being given permission to hit other people as hard as she can. And besides, Jackie only bought skates to do cute jaunts through the park, listening to her Walkman and rolling to the beat. But maybe being on the rink is a chance to reinvent herself, be braver than she is and not as perfect as everyone expects her to be...
Or -- the college-adjacent, no-crash Yellowjackets are actually a roller derby team dealing with queer feelings, young adult bullshit, and learning how to get their attitudes out on the track.
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Some ghosts wear heavy chains and some wear heart-shaped necklaces. Jackie Taylor is dead and it's all Shauna Shipman's fault. And even if it's not, Shauna needs to hit someone until life starts to make more sense. She's a butcher, a boxer, and a teen mother with no prospects. But in the world of underground fighting, they only care if you can take a punch, dole one out, and put on a good show.
Somewhere across the city, a privileged girl with a killer sense of intuition can't help but feel guilty helping her father bet on whose blood and bones will make him the most money. But at the end of the day, in a hungry world, everyone's just another piece of meat for those on top.
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a small, random collection of poems and short drabbles excerpted from the wilderness journals of Shauna Shipman
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Lisbon bought the pregnancy test with no serious suspicion that she might actually need it.
Bookmarked by thunderjammer
14 Mar 2025
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Lucky. Somehow, despite everything, the woman he loves is sitting next to him now, and he's just so damn lucky.
A one-shot to fill in the gap between the end of 6x22 and the beginning of 7x01.
Title comes from the Damien Rice song of the same name.
Bookmarked by thunderjammer
06 Mar 2025
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Neither Jane nor Lisbon knew what the future would hold when they said 'I do' - but it's full of laughter, it's full of chaos, and it's full of love.
Ten days, ten chapters, ten years of Jisbon.
Also posted on FFNet - heclosescases
Twitter - heclosescases
Tumblr - heclosescasesSeries
- Part 9 of Jisbon Family Fluff
Bookmarked by thunderjammer
10 Feb 2025
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Internally, she hopes that maybe this is all a weird dream, a nightmare where her hair is bad, that she'll wake up, and that it will be a funny story. But, something deep in her won't let herself believe that.
Lisbon begins to look at her surroundings with more scrutiny, trying to pick out the reason that while everything feels right, it also feels very, very wrong. Her eyes stop on the elevator buttons.
Seven.
Seven buttons. The CBI is a four-story building with a basement. Why are there seven buttons?
And most importantly...where is Jane?
Or: everything is not what it seems
Bookmarked by thunderjammer
10 Feb 2025
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"So, what are we dealing with here?" Van squints, considering Shauna's options. "Back to the future? Quantum Leap? Terminator?”
“How would Terminator even make sense in this situation?”
“I don't know, did you time travel naked?”
“No!” Shauna exclaims, before remembering with a shudder waking up next to Jeff in her underwear. “Well… sort of, I guess. But it's nothing like Terminator!
//(OR: Shauna wishes she could live in a future where Jackie wasn't part of her life and the universe answers)//
- Language:
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Bookmarked by thunderjammer
20 May 2024