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FUCK ALL OF YOU FOR MAKING ME WATCH SBAHJ: THE MOVOVIE OR HOWEVER THAT DUMBFUCK SPELLED IT. I HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING POSITIVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS MOUNTAINOUS PILE OF GARBAGE. DROWNING IN LITERAL SEWAGE ROTTING IN HUMAN HELL WITH NARY A CHAINSMOKING SUBWAY RAT TO SAVE ME WOULD BE MORE PLEASANT THAN WATCHING THIS FUCKING MOVIE.
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Aka famous movie director "D Strider" pays Karkat to review his shitty movies, and Karkat grows increasingly alarmed that they actually mean something under all of the mind-numbing bullshit.
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the angriest nubhead hottie this side of the universe frog by writerbot
Fandoms: Homestuck
13 Apr 2023
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She talks about her friend Karkat the entire plane ride home. It feels like he’s all anyone ever talks about since he made a major humongo deal about the alien blood racism and everyone wanting to kill him and stuff. Most of the time, you hate him for it. Sometimes you wonder if he might get you in a way most people can’t. You pussyfoot around finding out. When Jade invites you to a little shindig you know he’ll be at, you use Dirk as an excuse to stay back. It's not rational but you can't stand the guy, even if you've never met.
It only stings a little when she calls you lame.
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A.K.A Famous movie Director Dave "Strider" Lalonde is pretty sure he hates famed troll jegus Karkat Vantas, until they meet, at which point he promptly, immediately falls head over ass.Series
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Dave can't remember who he is or how he got on Derse, all he knows is that he's supposed to be avoiding black cats and killing imps now that the planet is overrun with them. That is, until he finds some weird grey alien that makes everything go fuzzy, and he remembers he needs to find his friends and save the goddamn universe.
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"Why is this shitfuck pan-rotting pile of artifact-ridden, glitchy, nonsensical sewage that can barely pass itself off as a movie somehow a thoughtful criticism on the global rise of authoritarianism and well-put commentary on how young working class males are forced into the military? What the actual fuck? Why do none of the other reviews mention this?"
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Aka famous movie director "D Strider" pays Karkat to review his shitty movies, and Karkat grows increasingly alarmed that they actually mean something under all of the mind-numbing bullshit. Meeting Strider, the biggest douchebag in the world, does not help. Also he keeps meeting this annoyingly smart human kid and his awkward/obnoxious but very hot guardian. These two things are entirely unrelated.
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Luke couldn’t make out much of what the kid looked like at first with the sun glare, just that he was stocky and small and pressed his little hands against the window. Then he pressed his whole tiny face against the window, his big eyes focused on Luke. His hair was long, curly, and brown and his pudgy little baby hands hit the window occasionally. The arm wrapped around him just seemed like it was there to steady him, and after a moment he saw that back of someone’s sweatshirt, like whichever parent had come to save the baby was sitting backwards on the sill while they let him amuse himself with the forbidden outside world.
The baby gave him a toothy grin and waved. When Luke waved back, he clapped his hands and started talking, or probably babbling, to the adult that was holding him. He bounced up and down as he babbled.
And Luke just melted.
So, he did what any respectable adult would in that situation: he went cross-eyed, puffed out his cheeks, and waved his hands on either side of his face until the baby laughed.
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A very fluffy quarantine AU
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