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“Chika-chan, I love you!” You nearly shouts startling Chika, the orange strand atop her head jumping straight up.
The first time You seriously confessed to Chika was after their last year of middle school. She managed to work up her courage to say something on their last day of middle school, asking Chika to meet her at the beach. At their spot.
“I love you too, You-chan.” Chika said without missing a beat. She thought that was oblivious. Her smile the same easygoing grin that You remembered since their elementary days.
No, that isn’t what I meant. You wants to say aloud.
“Ah! Kanan-chan is over there!” Chika suddenly yells in joy. “C’mon You-chan! Let’s show her our diplomas!”
Ah well. You sighs. Disappointed and endeared at the same time by Chika’s cluelessness. Surely, there will be more chances in high school.
“What do you see me as Chika-chan? How do you feel about me?” You asks in one of her more daring moments. More than a friend is what You desperately hopes for but-
“I love you like I love Kanan. You’re both precious to me.”
Hope shooting her heart into a frenzy, You’s mouth started curving-
“Like sisters!” Chika said with a smile too bright to stain the broken pieces of You’s devastated heart.
For now, it’s ok. You has time to be someone worthy enough to catch Chika’s attention.
For the second time during this entire short camping trip, Riko and Chika were not in their beds and nowhere to be found in the middle of the night. To be honest, it’s hard to get a peaceful night’s sleep with so many people occupying a small space what with Mari’s snoring, Hanamaru’s tossing around, and Yoshiko’s giggles.
You swallows a lump forming at the base of her throat. Telling herself that they’re only going to the bathroom using the buddy system and they’ll return shortly and coming up with silly meaningless reasons for why they’re not in bed at this time of night. Continuing this train of thought until eventually exhaustion won over.
The one time that You nearly breaks down, her overactive imagination piling up into even more doubts, Chika showed up like a knight on her rustic old bicycle. A practical miracle after that tearful conversation she had with Riko on the phone. Everything blurred until she tackled Chika with a hug.
“I’m so very lucky to have you in my life.” You whispers, the words stifled on Chika’s shoulder, clutching just a little tighter to the back of Chika’s shirt.
Chika cherishes her. Chika cares about her. Chika does love her…
“It’s Riko-chan. I’m dating Riko-chan.” Chika says with a small bashful smile one day out of the blue. It’s so very much like the girl she grew up with from childhood.
Her eyes light up in a way that You has never seen. Brighter than the ones she has on live concerts. Lighting up for someone else beyond who You could ever be.
“I hope you’ll be happy for a long time. You deserve the very best, Chika-chan.” You says honestly with a smile. One that hides the shattering sound of her demolished heart and unshed tears.
Chika smiles and hugs You shortly before running off to tell Riko the good news.
…just not in the way that You loves Chika.
Time ran out.
She’s been replaced by someone else already.
You could see it coming a mile away from the first day Riko stepped into class. The way that those two were attracted to each other even when they hadn’t known each other for long.
It hurts seeing how good they look together.
Smart, talented, and beautiful. What is there not to like about Riko? She has everything that You doesn-
“You-san!” Ruby says You’s name with enough force that it derails her current thought process.
“You almost stitched your finger onto the costume!” Ruby says, concern overflowing her voice as she reaches into her jacket’s pocket.
Right, they were making costumes for their next live concert. The deadline of which happens to be much too soon and impossible to finish all of the costumes with only one person alone working. Ruby volunteered to come help with the sewing seeing as how overworked You was and help lessen some of her upperclassmen’s burdens.
“Ah. Sorry, Ruby-chan. I’ll be more-”
Instead of checking You’s fingers for injuries, Ruby gently rubs You’s cheek using a small handkerchief she always keeps at hand. Drying up the tears that You didn’t realize was there.
“You-san, is every-” Ruby tries to ask.
You leans away a few seconds later. “It’s fine Ruby. I probably got some dust in my eyes.” You interrupts with a half-truth, brushing aside Ruby’s hand and glancing away from her worried stare. You closes her eyes and inhales as she does when she loses an important swimming competition. Steeling herself to pretend that nothing is wrong.
Once before, Ruby silently watched someone so dear to her nearly destroy themselves trying to keep their grief hidden behind a veil of normalcy. Ruby has never been good at confrontations but she cannot just ignore her precious teammate when it’s clear that she’s hurting and needs someone to be there for her.
Never again.
“You-san,” Ruby says softly with determination, she leans in to take You’s glasses off and dabs at the corner of You’s eyes.
Getting You’s attention, Ruby takes a step back and holds her arms out the way that she’s seen Dia, Kanan, and Mari do so many times for each other in the present.
A silent request and show of support.
You struggles not to let the dam that she just repaired break down again. She can’t. Not again, not now, not ever.
But Ruby’s soft smile and warm gaze being highlighted by the setting sun’s rays weakens You’s collapsing resolve. You shifts her eyes away again from Ruby, desperately ignoring the crawling sensation of tears.
“You-san,” Ruby softly says again, her arms never lowered. Her resolve reflecting in her turquoise eyes.
You gives in.
Clinging to Ruby as she would a lifeline, You sobs.
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You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away