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Jealous You're Happy Without Me

Summary:

Reader had a good friendship with Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin boy, you loved. That was a year ago, now you're playing a song you hold dear to yourself and emotions and memories come back. Little did you know, Draco was listening.

From the song Jealous by Labryinth, it's really beautiful.

Notes:

All rights of the song go to Labryinth, I don't own it, only the fanfiction.

Hey guys! First Harry Potter fandom fanfiction, I learned that I love Draco Malfoy as a character. So I had to do a fanfiction about it, since I was also obsessed with the song, I mixed them together. I hope you enjoy it!;)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Draco walked through the corridor of the fifth floor. It was close to curfew, causing it to be dark outside, the torches on the walls casted enough light to see. He looked outside the rows of windows that were on his left, they formed the entire wall to the outside. The bright moonlight shimmered through the big windows and illuminated the ground. There weren’t much people on the fifth floor at this hour, so it confused Draco that he heard a sound.

He started walking slower, curious were the music came from. The loud became clearer and louder, as he approached the Music Classroom. The piano sounded beautiful, it was being played by someone who knew how to properly work it. He listened carefully, placing his ear against the wooden door that stood ajar.

“I’m jealous of the rain, that falls upon your skin. It’s closer than my hands have been, I’m jealous of the rain.”

He was surprised by the sweet female voice that began to sing, because he knew that voice. He had heard it a million times before, however he missed it, hearing the voice of the person he once knew well. The mixture of the piano and the voice was compelling, even if you didn’t like this sort of music, this was beautiful.

“Cause I wished you the best of, all this world could give. And I told you when you left me, there’s nothing to forgive.”

Draco felt sadder as he heard the hurt in the voice, as she sang the true lyrics. Because he knew that the girl singing this, was you.

You and Draco had been friends, even though you were in a different house. You were good friends, for four years, until…. One day, at the beginning of the fourth year, your friendship ended.

He wanted to lean in a little closer to hear it better, to hear you better. He carefully he leaned against the door, which wasn’t a good idea. The old door had creaked when moved even an inch. He immediately stopped as he noticed the high-pitched sound of the door. Holding his breath, he hoped you hadn’t heard the noise. But you didn’t hear anything, drowned in the music and the emotions.

 


 

 

You walked around the piano, that stood proudly in your favorite classroom. It was a grand instrument, black and shimmering without a scratch. You knew it was late and probably not wise to be here, but you had to.

This was the day, exactly one year ago. You sat down behind the piano and placed your hands on the keys. You didn’t think twice about what you were going to play, there was only one song that described your feelings perfectly. Your hands moved gracefully over the black and white keys, that harmonized perfectly.

You started singing, to the painfully true lyrics, that you knew by head. You felt goosebumps run all over your skin, the emotions rushed back and you thought of that one unfortunate day.

You had just eaten diner at the Y/H table, with your friends. Looking over at the Slytherin table, that missed a member, Draco. Strangely you hadn’t seen him the entire day, you started doubting he was going to show up.

Draco had asked you to meet him, the other day, at the clock tower courtyard. You had felt a rush of excitement, when he asked you to come. You had hanged out with Draco before, but you noticed that you had started to get feelings for him.

But that would have been impossible, it was hard enough to be friends with him, given the fact that you’re in a different house. But being with a Malfoy? Someone like you? Well, that was never going to happen.

There was just no denying it, you were in love with Draco Malfoy. Every time you would see him, your heart skip a beat. The overwhelming good feeling that you felt when he was with you. The immense joy that his smile send through your body, and lets not forget. The tomato red you would get when he touched you, the blush you tried but couldn’t hide.

With a new found hope you started making your way to the courtyard, were Draco was waiting for you. You walked through the arched entrance made out of old wood, showing that it had seen many years. The dormers were partially covered with thick dark green moss.

In the middle stood a fountain that had three pillars standing over it, holding up a little pointed roof. One of the corners was gone, probably broken off, causing the fourth pillar to be separate of the rest and smaller. The eagles that stood proudly on the corners of the fountain, looked at each direction, as if protecting the fountain.

But the trickling water wasn’t the important thing, it was the person who stood in front of it. In his similar Hogwarts uniform, with the black robe and his grey with green Slytherin tie. He stood facing towards you, but you couldn’t see his face in the darkness of the night.

You sensed there was something wrong, he didn’t look at you nor said anything. You hesitantly walked to him, your brows furrowed as you tried to figure out what was going on. The both of you didn’t say a word, and the silence made the tension worse.

“Draco?” The feeling you had earlier was now gone, the hope of him saying that he liked you to wasn’t there anymore.

After a long moment of silence, he finally looked you in the eye. His blue-grey eyes always made you hold your breath, they were mesmerizing.

“Y/N, I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.” The words hit you like a ton of bricks, like a million daggers were stabbed into your heart. Those were the words, you never wanted to hear from him, ever. And now the moment that had been your nightmare many times, came true.

“What? D-Draco what’s going on? Why would you say that?” You tried to stay calm, forcing yourself to think you heard it wrong.

“Didn’t you hear what I just said? I don’t want to be your friend! You’re in Y/H, I’m a Slytherin it was stupid of me to ever befriend you!” His voice was harsh and full of anger, he really didn’t want you. The look of disgust made that even more clear. You had feared this, that this was how he really felt about you.

Without saying a word you ran away, to anywhere but there were Draco was. The tears came pouring down, like an unstoppable waterfall. Nothing had prepared you for this crushing, heart aching feeling, these words even fell short of what it felt like.

You ran back to your common room, you wanted to forget it. Forget him, the hurt and everything. The week that followed was a complete blur, a numbness that seemed to be permanently inside you. You didn’t do anything but cry, cry all the nights and moments you saw him.

 


 

 

“I’d always thought you’d come back, tell me. All you found was, heartbreak and misery.”

Playing that part was hard, because it was so real and true. Even after a year it still hurt. Even after a year you still had hope, that one day, one blessed day he would come back. But that day of course never came. You longed for him, his voice, his laugh and the way he would look at you with those perfect eyes.

“It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way you’re happy without me.”

It came out in a whisper as you tried to control yourself. You couldn’t stop the tears, the tears that had stopped falling after half a year, until now. It was so heart breaking seeing him with Pansy Parkinson. Smiling at her the way he once smiled at you, you were so jealous.

Your whole world once existed out of him, but his didn’t. He could be happy without you, but you couldn’t. There was always a darkness, a loneliness, a hole inside of you that was empty. Tears rolled over your cheeks and fell down, but you managed to keep your voice steady.

“As I sink through the sand, watch you slip through my hands. As I die another day, cause all I do is cry behind this smile.”

It crushed him to see you like this, beautiful but in pain. He saw your tears, he always tried not to think of how much it had affected you. But now he couldn’t, he couldn’t look away. He never in a million years would have hurt you, but that day was different. He remembered it as if it was yesterday.

He stood at the fountain, contemplating how he was going to get the words out of his mouth. The words that he so badly didn’t want to say, but had to. He had to for you, for you that is what he kept telling himself. He only cared about you.

When you finally had come up to him, he didn’t dare look at you. He didn’t want to look at your face as he said it, the venomous sentences that would crush him, but he forced himself to.

The little light that came from the moon, had beamed down on your face perfectly. Causing him to see every little emotion that went through you. And he hated himself, for causing this.

But he knew that for your sake, it was best to cut you off before it was too late. After the Tri Wizard Tournaments and everyone found out that lord Voldemort was back. He knew since both of his parents were Death Eaters, he would be one soon. He couldn’t get you involved in it all, he couldn’t let you get hurt because of him.

He didn’t want to you to suffer, to become dark, a Death Eater. He knew that was his destiny, but he wasn’t going to let that destroy you.

So as he stood there, seeing the pain he had caused you, he told himself it was for your own good.

“It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way you’re happy without me.”

Your voice wavered at the last sentence, you had been able to control yourself as much as you could. But the emotions got too much, and you cried. Your eyes were probably stained red, but you couldn’t care.

With shaking hands you closed the fallboard, and stood up. It was time to go, before anyone would catch you in here. Then the door opened and the most unlikely person stood there. You quickly brushed away your tears, trying to hide that you had been crying.

You didn’t look at him, you didn’t want to face him. But you didn’t for some reason, go away. You staid there standing with your back at the piano.

Obvious was the fact that he was looking at you, but you didn’t want to give in. After half a minute, you gave in to his gaze and reluctantly met his eyes. Surprisingly they resembled yours, tears had fell down over his face. You had never seen Draco, the Draco Malfoy, cry. Showing a vulnerable side he rarely showed.

“Y/N,” He said softly, looking at you apologetic. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

Maybe you should have felt relieved with the tragic apology, but you didn’t. Another feeling came boiling up, and not so lightly either. It was anger, one you didn’t feel often.

“That’s what you say?! After a year, a year! How dare you, you ass!”

You were stunned yourself that you even said it, but it felt good. He bowed his head in shame, he expected it.

“How could you do that to me?” Your fragility came back, and the anger had gone away. A few tears started rolling again.

“Y/N, I didn’t want you to get hurt.” He tried to explain.

“By telling me you didn’t want to be friends with me anymore, way to go.” You said sarcastically, but still hurt.

“You meant so much to me, you still do. But everyone knows that if you stay with me, you will end up hurt.”

You hadn’t noticed how close he suddenly stood. You could feel his breath, and you wanted to give in so badly, hug him. All you had thought of was hugging him, but he had made you feel so miserable. Would you ever be able to forgive him?

You felt weak for thinking it, but this was the moment you had longed for. Him finally telling you this. You weren’t convinced yet.

“Please Y/N, I-I love you.” A moment of shock surged through your body. He loves you?

“Y/N, I have always loved you. Everything I did was because I love you. But I can’t stand it anymore, seeing you without me. I need you, Y/N.”

He took your hand and held it gently. His meaningful eyes pleaded for you to say it back, say that you loved him too.

He stood there confessing his love for you, and you said nothing just stared at him, contemplating what to do. And it killed him, eventhough it were a couple of seconds, he thought you were going to walk away, or slap him. Not that he didn't deserve that, he thought to himself. 

“Draco.” You sighed out, finally giving in. You pushed your lips against his, for a second you thought he wouldn’t kiss you back. He did, full with passion he deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around you, holding his body tightly against yours, not letting go. Your hands moved up to tangle with his platinum blond locks.

When you eventually pulled back to breathe, you whispered, your lips brushing with every word. "I love you too."

You didn’t know how long you were up there, but it felt forever. After waiting years for him to finally kiss you, he did it. And the feeling was better than anything you had ever experienced. Draco had made you go mad, giving you the worst and best feelings in the world.

But all what happened in the past didn’t matter. He was yours and you were his.

Notes:

Ooh guys, I loved writting this and I think I'm going to do more Harry Potter stuff. If you liked it, please leave kudos or a comment down below to let me know what you think!;)

Also check out my account for other Draco/Reader fanfics!;)