Work Text:
Christa: Ymir
Christa: Ymir get your booty over here
Christa: I have pizza
Ymir: Babe I’m at my dad’s
Ymir: I’ll see you tomorrow, remember?
Christa: [picture of a large pizza, no slices taken] THEN WHAT THE FRICK AM I GONNA DO WITH THIS?
Ymir: Give it to Bert and Reiner, they should be at home
Ymir: Or even Sasha
Ymir: She’d love you forever
Christa: ……..
Christa: No.
Christa: I’M GONNA EAT IT.
Ymir: Christa
Ymir: Christa no
Ymir: You can’t eat a whole pizza
Christa: FUCKING WATCH ME.
Christa: [the pizza again, with three slices missing]
Ymir: How are you doing that
Christa: Does it count if I don’t eat the crusts
Christa: Crusts are gross
Ymir: Eat them with ranch
Ymir: NO DON’T
Ymir: I’m not encouraging this
Christa: [five slices are gone from the pizza]
Ymir: Mikasa, are you guys at home?
Mikasa: No
Mikasa: Eren insisted on going to a protest downtown
Ymir: Ugh
Christa: [half the pizza is left]
Ymir: c’mon I believe you
Christa: I can do it
Christa: YOU CAN’T STOP ME NOW
Ymir: Reiner
Ymir: Reiner I need you to go check on Christa
Reiner: Not at home, Ymir
Ymir: God fucking dammit, someone needs to go make sure Christa’s not gonna eat pizza til she dies
Reiner: How many people have you asked?
Ymir: Everyone but Springles, because Sasha would just eat the pizza and leave
Sexy and I Know It plays, and Christa picks up the phone reluctantly.
“Ymir. I’m eating this fricking pizza.”
“Christa, come on. You’re gonna be sick!”
“Am not.”
“You don’t eat anything ever! Hanji worries about you sometimes!”
“Ymir.”
“What.”
“I am always hungry. Always. I eat at home because school food is icky and I’m too lazy to bring a cold lunch.”
“YOU ARE NOT.”
“Once again, am too.”
“I- Shit, my dad’s yelling at me. Please don’t eat the rest of that goddamn pizza, leave some leftovers for me, I love you, see you tomorrow.”
“No, and I love you too.”
Christa: [four slices of the pizza are left]
Ymir: You butt
Christa: oops there goes another one
Ymir: You really are eating that whole pizza aren’t you
Christa: yup
[Five minutes pass]
Christa: [the empty box, one crust in the corner]
Christa: BOOM
Christa: I JUST ATE A WHOLE PIZZA BY MYSELF
Christa: FUCK YES
Ymir: Congratulations
Ymir: I’m so proud of you
[The next morning]
Christa: Ymir
Christa: Ymir please come over
Christa: my tummy hurts
Ymir: I’ll be there in fifteen