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Shit shit fuck shit balls fuck was the last thought to cross Yosuke’s mind before the shadow’s spindly arm-like thing hurled him to the ground.
As Yosuke came to, he experienced the most real sensation of pain he probably had in his life.
Everything was pain. His entire being had become the very sensation of agony. The universe ceased to exist. There was no such thing as the TV world. There was no such thing as the outside world. There was no such thing as anything. There was only searing, blinding pain.
Well, he thought to himself. Guess this is the end. So much for going into the TV to train by myself. Now nobody will ever find me. I’ll be devoured by shadows. My parents will get worried. They’ll file a Missing Persons Report, but they’ll never find me. My friends will have no idea what became of me. They’ll come into the TV to search, but it’ll be in vain. After a while, they’ll give up. They’ll assume I died. There’ll be a funeral service. They’ll think, Hey, he was a pain the ass, but he was good for a laugh sometimes. Too bad. That’ll be it. Time will go on. Everyone will forget about me. And all the while I’ll be looking down on them in Heaven--… Okay, I’ll be looking up at them from Hell, probably, and I’ll be dreaming of what could have been while they go about their perfect, fulfilling lives without me. But my dreams will be futile. I’ll be gone. Forever. Just a vague memory. Just a tiny, insignificant speck of dust on the face of the earth.
…So maybe he was being a tiny bit dramatic. But he hurt like fucking balls.
He sighed. “Shit,” he tried to say, but his voice came out as little more than a guttural rasp. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Call for help? Not even Teddie’s around to hear me. I’m alone.
Annoyance shifted to apprehension as reality set in. I’m alone.
Trying to quickly gauge his situation, Yosuke craned his neck up from where he lay in a heap. His vision had cleared after a couple minutes of lying there pitying himself, and now he could try to figure out where the fuck he was and how the fuck he could find his way out of here.
Glancing around, there were no other shadows in sight, and he figured the one that slammed him down mercilessly had eventually gotten bored and given up on him.
He steeled himself before verrrryy slowly rolling onto his back and pushing himself up. Immediately, a shock of pain flew down his spine and he gasped, hastily lowering himself back down to the ground.
Everything felt broken. Yosuke swore under his breath and bit his lip as he mentally recalculated his strategy.
He had some energy left. Not a lot, but it would do.
From his place on the ground, Yosuke slowly brought his legs closer into himself and cast a fumbling healing spell over them. The relief was almost immediate and he released a long, grateful breath. He proceeded to heal the rest of his body— as much as he could reach or summon the energy for, that is. At least the breaks seemed to have healed, though he was still covered in gashes and bruises and felt sore as hell.
Finally Yosuke found the strength to push himself back up without the same searing pain coursing through his body. He grit his teeth as he slowly got to his feet and staggered forward dizzily, barely catching himself in time. His left ankle still wasn’t in good shape, and he tried to find a way to walk (or limp, more accurately) without putting too much weight on it.
After a while of stumbling his way around the foggy, disorienting world of the TV, he finally located the exit and limp-ran towards safety, muttering a different swear word with each step.
Launching himself through the TV awkwardly, he fell onto his ass in Junes and was met with even more pain. Fucking awesome.
After taking a minute to adjust to his surroundings, his eyes swept over the area for any customers who may have witnessed his elegant emergence from the inside of a television.
Nope, he thought with relief, mentally wiping the sweat from his brow. He looked at the nearest clock. It wasn’t quite closing time, but it was around dinner when there weren’t a lot of customers. The coast was clear.
He hobbled his way toward the entrance furtively (as furtively as one limping and covered in bruises could) and stopped in his tracks when he realized he had to walk all the way home like this. Fucking balls.
After nearly an hour of painful limping with the added weight of the bike he had ridden to the store earlier that day, he finally reached home and leaned the useless piece of shit against the side of the house.
Taking a deep breath, he pushed through the front door and immediately found his mother sitting on the couch in the front room next to… Souji?
His heart jumped in his chest. Staring blankly at the unexpected visitor, he stopped in his tracks as his mother leapt up and hounded him, fretting over his state and demanding an explanation.
His attention was diverted away from Souji’s concerned, startled expression and he looked at his mother. Luckily, his long walk home had allowed him time to come up with an ingenious backstory to explain the injuries. “I— crashed my bike. It’s fine, though, I’m just a little banged up.”
Souji was moving towards him as well now, an alarmed, searching gaze painting his features. Taking his elbow gingerly, he ushered Yosuke into the room and onto the couch. “You look more than a little banged up,” he observed half-accusingly, half-worriedly.
Yosuke looked down at his hands and blushed lightly. “I— it’s…” He glanced back up. “What are you doing here?” he blurted out defensively, trying to shift the attention away from himself.
“Souji-kun stopped by a couple hours ago asking for you. He’d been trying to contact you all day and you weren’t responding.” Souji was looking at him intently as his mother spoke, still studying his face for some kind of explanation. “When I remembered you saying you were going to his house earlier, I was alarmed, to say the least,” his mother said as she folded her arms, her brow creased and expression anxious.
Fuck, he thought to himself, suddenly aware of the phone in his pocket. Being that the TV was in, you know, a parallel universe, he never received any calls or texts and usually ended up just turning it off.
His mother continued on. “We’ve been here waiting for you ever since. Where were you? Why didn’t you call? If I had known you crashed—what did you even do to yourself?! You’re all—”
“Mom,” he said sharply. “It’s fine, really—”
Souji finally cut in. “Mrs. Hanamura, why don’t I take care of it? I’ll bring him upstairs to get patched up.” He gently helped Yosuke back up to his feet. Yosuke winced in pain and Souji smiled apologetically, throwing the boy’s arm over his shoulder.
Mrs. Hanamura paused and looked at her son’s friend. “Well—I… of course, if you wish. But I expect an explanation later, young man,” she replied, trying and failing to appear intimidating.
Souji gripped Yosuke’s waist and slowly led him upstairs and into his bedroom. “We can think of an explanation later.” He shot Yosuke a look as he helped him lay down on the bed. “For now, would you care to explain your injuries to me?”
“… I told you, I crashed my—”
“Bullshit. You were in the TV alone, weren’t you?”
Yosuke’s eyes widened as Souji flicked the lights on, turned around, and flung himself onto the bed next to him. “Uh.”
“Yosuke. I think I’ve known you long enough to know what you’re up to.” Souji said, turning to look at Yosuke pointedly.
Ignoring Souji’s creepy psychic lie-detecting skills, he nodded reluctantly. “… I guess there’s no use lying to you.” He sighed, resigned. Looking away anxiously, he waited for a reaction.
Souji was quiet. After a few seconds, Yosuke shifted himself around to face his friend lying next to him. He wore a troubled frown.
“…Why? Yosuke, we all promised we’d never go into the TV alone—you—you could have gotten hurt… You could have died, Yosuke.” At that last bit, Souji’s voice cracked and he became quiet.
Yosuke froze, hair standing up at the back of his neck in panic. Was he going to cry? Shit shit shit shit no Souji I swear to God if you cry— but Souji looked back up, and his eyes were dry. Dry, but full of pure, alarming disappointment.
Yosuke reddened in shame and glanced down at his hands, wringing them together. “I’m sorry… I just… I wanted to get better. I wanted to be able to take out shadows easier and protect the rest of you guys… and… well, I mean, I kind of...” He paused. “Wanted to. I don’t know... Impress you? I mean.” he trailed off in a murmur, hiding his face.
Suddenly, Souji cocked an eyebrow and the corner of his lip quirked up almost imperceptibly. “You wanted to get stronger… just to impress me?”
Yosuke blushed indignantly and gave him a light shove, but he was secretly overcome with relief. “Shut the fuck up, man. It wasn’t just for you, okay?”
Souji’s smile widened before drooping back down into a serious expression again a second later. “Yosuke, you can’t do that. There’s a reason we don’t go in alone, and you’re really lucky you got out alive today… I’m really lucky.” Now it was Souji’s turn to blush. “Never do that again, okay? I’d much rather have you alive and just the way you are than dead because you wanted to impress me.”
At Souji’s words, Yosuke raised his head and flushed. Attempting to lighten the atmosphere, he gave a lame, lopsided smile. “Hey, partner, I said it wasn’t all about you…”
After a period of unwavering eye contact, Souji cracked and the two dissolved into stupid giggles.
The tension broken, Yosuke pushed himself up to a sitting position and shifted backward to the headboard to lean against it. “Anyway, so, uh. You gonna get me fixed up or what?”
Souji smiled crookedly and looked at Yosuke with a playful light in his eyes, winking in a poor imitation of Yosuke’s trademark. “Nurse Souji, coming right up.”
Yosuke scoffed. “Dork.”
“You know you love it.”
“Please,” he laughed, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly and trying to ignore the stupid fluttering in his chest.
After about an hour or two of disinfecting and bandaging cuts, making a doctor’s appointment for Yosuke’s ankle the following day, and lecturing his patient about the importance of not being a total idiot, Souji collapsed back down onto the bed beside him and smiled easily. “We should get ready for bed.” Mrs. Hanamura had invited Souji to stay the night and welcomed him to whatever he might need to borrow.
“Yeah. You can grab some clothes from my dresser and change in the bathroom,” Yosuke replied, yawning. It had been a long, eventful day and he was ready to sleep for about the next four days.
“What, no personal striptease?” Souji asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.
“Go.”
“Alright, alright.” Souji grinned and pushed himself up off the bed with an extravagant groan.
Yosuke smiled as he watched his friend’s back retreat.
As he lay there he got to thinking. What if I had been a goner? His smile slowly faded. I could have lost everything. I could have lost my family, my friends… Souji. He closed his eyes as a pang hit his heart. Maybe it would’ve affected him more than I thought.
At this point Souji padded back into the room garbed in a plain T-shirt and slightly too-short sweatpants. “Hey--”
“Turn out the light,” Yosuke blurted out suddenly. He didn’t want Souji seeing the glassy sheen of his eyes.
Souji paused. “…Okay.” He flicked the light switch off.
“I’m just. I’m tired and I want to sleep,” Yosuke clarified awkwardly.
“Yeah— yeah, no problem,” Souji answered, slightly thrown off at his friend’s change in demeanor. He climbed onto the spare futon that had been laid out and began shifting around to get comfortable. “Goodnight, Yosuke. Sleep well.”
At this point Yosuke had tears silently running down his face. He couldn’t respond. A minute passed. He sniffled absentmindedly, and then tensed up as he realized his mistake. Shit.
Immediately he heard Souji sit upright. “Yosuke?” He crawled over to the bed and settled down beside Yosuke’s tense back. He gingerly placed a hand on his arm and Yosuke started. Souji climbed over him and laid down where he could see his face in the dim moonlight streaming through the curtains.
Souji’s face visibly deflated. “Yosuke…” He scooted closer, brushing the hair out of Yosuke’s eyes. Yosuke mentally cursed him and ducked his head down further.
“Hey, hey… It’s alright…” Souji soothed, failing to wholly cover his surprised confusion.
Yosuke sniffed again, not even trying to hide it anymore. “No, it’s not,” he said shakily, voice growing in volume. “I’m so fucking stupid,” he whimpered before letting out a choked sob. Souji immediately pulled him in and Yosuke clutched at his shirt. “God, I—I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Just… I’m sorry for scaring you like that. Today. You must think I’m a real fucking piece of work, huh?”
“Hey, hey. Yosuke, look at me.” Yosuke stayed buried in Souji’s chest. Souji shifted himself down the bed a bit and tilted Yosuke’s chin up. He reluctantly met his eyes and sniffled. To his surprise, Souji’s eyes were misting up as well. “I’m not going to lie to you. You scared me half to death. Nobody’d seen you all day and you were taking forever to get back… And when you came in looking like you’d fallen into a freaking wood chipper, yeah, I was doing all I could not to cry and scream at you for being so reckless.” Yosuke looked down and frowned slightly. Souji went on. “But I’m just glad you’re alive and not even worse off. For now I’m happy just to be here… and I trust that you won’t do that again,” he added pointedly. It was quiet for a moment. In a softer voice now, he went on. “…If I lost you, I have no idea what I’d do. I don’t even want to think about it.” He paused and lowered his head. “Yosuke, I can’t even tell you how… important you are to me. I don’t know what I’d do if you were gone... Completely fall apart, probably,” he said quietly, choking out an awkward mix of a laugh and a sob. Yosuke was staring up at him wide-eyed, face flushed. “Uh, anyway, I… I’m just glad you’re alright. Don’t be so dumb again. Okay?” Souji looked at him and smile-grimaced awkwardly.
Yosuke blinked a few times, opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and finally just clamped it shut. Wordlessly, he cuddled in closer to Souji and laid his head close to his warm, soap-scented neck. “Sorry,” he half-whispered in a tiny voice.
Yosuke looked up as Souji simultaneously looked down. Yosuke swallowed and Souji’s eyes widened faintly. Both hearts pounded heavily in their chests. Yosuke stared at Souji’s lips. They looked bitten and slightly dry and Yosuke could only picture Souji chewing at them as he checked his phone repeatedly, waiting for a call, a text, anything— anything to reassure him that Yosuke was okay. Transported back to the present moment, alarm bells started going off in his head and he squirmed nervously. Coughing, he tried to duck his head away, but Souji stopped him in his tracks and drew his face back up. Licking his lips slightly, Souji cleared his throat and looked at Yosuke. Yosuke stared, shoulders hunched, eyes huge as saucers. Souji’s brow was furrowed and he was avoiding eye contact. The pounding in Yosuke’s heart picked up. Shitshitshitshitshitfuckfuckfuckfuckballsballsballsballs.
He looked like he was chickening out. A weird mix of feelings churned in Yosuke’s stomach. Souji started to shrink away and now it was Yosuke’s turn to pull him back. Oh, what the hell. Man up for once, Hanamura. Steeling his nerves and screwing his eyes shut, he craned his neck upward and pressed his lips forcefully against Souji’s.
Souji gasped slightly into Yosuke’s mouth. Their lips and bodies were rigid against each other’s. Slowly, gradually, both began to relax and lean into the kiss.
It was chaste and awkward and clumsy but it was also kind of perfect at the same time.
Yosuke pulled back after a minute and couldn’t stop a dopey smile from spreading across his face. Both boys chuckled nervously and met each other’s eyes before quickly looking away again.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”
“Me too.”
It was quiet. Souji coughed. Yosuke cleared his throat. “…We should go to bed.”
“…Yeah. Uh.” There was a pause. Souji began to get up from Yosuke’s futon. Yosuke reached out and pulled him back down again.
“You can stay. I mean—I. Well. I’m just… Cold. So. I mean.”
Souji stopped and tentatively lowered himself back down. Shifting closer to Yosuke, he carefully reached an arm around him and smiled. “Okay.”
With a blush and a bashful grin, Yosuke snuggled closer.
He kind of hated himself for thinking it, but he couldn’t help being maybe kinda sorta glad he ended up going into the TV alone—just this once, of course. He wasn’t stupid enough to pull that stunt again. But reflecting on it now, the stupid cuts and bruises and injuries seemed pretty damn worth it for once.