Chapter Text
Walking down 29th and park
I saw you in another’s arms
Only a month we’ve been apart
You look happier
It was a bright and warm Saturday morning at a park near the 29th Street.
Kim Taehyung is having his day off from work and so he decided to jog around. He wasn’t really the type to exercise, if his thin frame can be any indication of it. Truth be told, he’d rather slump at home and eat pancakes at hours like this.
But something happened before and he wanted to get rid of the tension that he has been feeling for about half a month now. He was also hoping he’d get to---
He stopped on his tracks when he saw a familiar back, a back that he has been longing for. The back of the very person that has been causing him stress and tension. The back of the person who got him to jog.
His ex-boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook.
Jungkook and Taehyung were together for nearly a year when Taehyung screwed up their relationship, leading to their very painful break up.
He stared at the standing man before a smile formed on his face.
Jungkook is still as handsome as ever. Save from the tear-streaked face that he saw on the night their relationship ended, the young man looked flawless and handsome. His smile is still breathtaking and his eyes are huge pools that has captivated him and kept him calm.
He longed for him. He wanted to talk to him.
It hasn’t been a month since the younger broke up with him. The wounds that he, Kim Taehyung, has caused are still fresh and so, he wanted them to get back together, to make amends. He wanted them to start over.
For about a minute, he contemplated on how to approach the younger. They haven’t spoken eversince they broke up and he doesn’t want to screw this one. He has made up his mind when a loud, high pitched scream seemed to have knock him over. Before he could even compose himself so that he can finally approach his ex-boyfriend, he was stunned at the scene a few feet away from him.
Jungkook, his beloved Jeon Jungkook, was in the arms of another man.
The man, nearly the same height as Jungkook, is very handsome. He could probably be a model. Good height, good looks, good skin. Yes.
But why is he holding Jungkook? Who is he?
His chest felt really heavy at the sight.
His heart dropped even more when he sees Jungkook returning the hug with a beautiful smile that he hasn’t seen for a very long while. The very same beautiful smile that he used to only give to him back in the days when everything was just perfectly fine.
He clutched his chest as he was trying to take in what he is seeing.
“Jungkookie, my precious Jungkookie bunny baby!” The guy exclaimed. He squished Jungkook’s face before placing light kissed on his face. “My sweet baby angel, I’ve really missed you!” He stared lovingly at Jungkook, and judging by the way Jungkook’s eyes sparkled at the words, he also feels the same.
Taehyung sighed. He couldn’t take this. He couldn’t understand. Tears began forming in his eyes and he wanted to leave as soon as possible.
With that, Taehyung turned around and ran away from the park.
=================
Saw you walk inside a bar
He said something to make you laugh
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours
Yeah, you look happier, you do.
(Two weeks later)
Taehyung couldn’t take his eyes off the same pair he saw a couple of weeks ago. They are currently walking and he is trailing behind them.
His heart hurts so much at the sight.
The guy named Kim Seokjin (as he found out from his and Jungkook’s common friend, Hoseok) is clinging to his ex-boyfriend. The same way he did when they were still together. It hurts him, and even more so because Jungkook just allows him to do so, with that beautiful smile on his face.
Have you really replaced me, Kookie?
“Oh, shush it, hyung!” Jungkook exclaimed, chuckling at whatever Seokjin told him. “And also, you are being clingy again.”
“What? I can’t!” Seokjin pouted, still clinging to the younger.
“But hyung, you are being too cheesy right now!”
“Well, if it means making you smile your most beautiful smile then I have no problems with that, Jeon Jungkook.”
Jungkook scoffed at the remark. “Hyung, just stop it and let’s go, alright? We will be late for our reservation. I can’t afford to waste your effort in planning this dinner for the two of us.”
“Aaaaaaw! My cute little bunny is so considerate! Maybe I should reward you with a kiss, right?” the older joked.
Jungkook blushed at the statement.“S-shut up!”
“Fiiiine! Let’s go!” Seokjin half-shouted, lightly pushing the younger.
The couple entered a restaurant called Grandioli. It’s a known high end restaurant in the area that serves some of the best seafood and Italian dishes. Taehyung should know, Jungkook used to take him here on special days. Since the windows are tinted, Taehyung couldn’t see the couple and where they are seated. He wanted to get in but he suddenly remembers that they only take in customers who made prior reservations. He felt so crushed but he could only stare at the entrance.
“You know what? I’ve seen and tolerated all the stupid things that you have done in life, and stalking your ex-boyfriend probably tops them all.”
Taehyung flinched and glared at the person next to him. Park Jimin may be small and adorable, but he is an extreme bitch. And he probably got it from all the times he has spent with his boyfriend, Min Yoongi. His best friend used to be the sweetest person on earth until he started dating the crass guy, and things were never the same again
He sighed and pouted. “Jiminie, why are you like that?”
Jimin rolled his eyes. “Oh dear God, Kim Taehyung. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I thought we will be having our regular bestfriend quality time. I even begged my sick boyfriend to let me go coz I felt like my bestfriend wanted to catch up on things. But as it turns out,” he pointed at the direction where two men disappeared to, in a restaurant called Grandioli. “..my dear bestfriend is dragging me just to stalk his ex-boyfriend.” Jimin sighed again in utter annoyance and glared at his bestfriend. “Can you just imagine? My boyfriend is home and very sick, but I neglected him for you?”
“Then you shouldn’t--”
“Oh, shut the fuck up, Tae,” Jimin cut him off. He loves his bestfriend to death but sometimes, he can be a handful. “If I actually let you off alone, you might do another stupid thing that will most likely top all of the other stupid things that you have done, and I can’t have that!” He sighed and looked at his cowering bestfriend, who looked like a kicked puppy, with sad eyes.
Taehyung sat on the first bench that he found. He stared at Jimin for about a minute before letting out a sigh. “Chim, I know I was stupid. I am stupid.” Tears began welling up his eyes. The scene he has witnessed earlier made his stomach churn. “And I deserve to hurt, right?”
All the annoyance that Jimin felt for Taehyung earlier left as he sadly stared at him. When he noticed the fresh tears from the other’s eyes, he sat down and rubbed his back. “I.. I don’t know what to say, Tae.”
Taehyung laughs. “I’ve had the most perfect boyfriend in the whole wide world. I had him wrapped around my dainty fingers. So whipped beyond words. He would do anything and everything for me.” He wiped his tears and tried smiling even though his heart hurts. “He loved me so much. Probably more than I have ever loved him or myself.”
“Tae..”
Taehyung clutches his chest. “He loved me, but I was stupid.”
Jimin felt Taehyung’s pain. He wanted to hug his bestfriend that very moment but he also felt like the other wanted to talk and let it all out. He never really had a chance to talk to Taehyung after he found out about the breakup. This is the first time his bestfriend would talk about it so he will just let him talk for now.
“I went home late. Late because I was meeting other guys, because it felt nice to know that you are wanted by many even if you are committed to someone.” He wiped another batch of tears. “Because I felt like he was too giving, too perfect. And it bored me that he is too perfect. The whole relationship bored me. I wanted thrill, I wanted the rush, the excitement. I wanted the attention, but not his.” And another. “I never told him until he first caught me. He forgave me, because he was kind, loving, and perfect like that. I told myself that I can continue doing those things and he wouldn’t mind because he loves me like that. I was so confident that I could get away with everything, Chim..” He let out a bittersweet smile. “I was so stupid that I didn’t realize.. Or consider that I was hurting him..”
With those last words, Taehyung brokedown. Jimin quickly pulled his bestfriend into a hug.
“Tae, go on,” he whispered.
“God, Chim, I’m so so so stupid.” He clung to his bestfriend. “I never thought he’d let me go. But he did. And it fucking hurts.”
Jimin patted his bestfriend’s back.
Truth be told, Jimin was angry when he found out the reason for Jungkook and Taehyung’s breakup. He wanted to yell at and punch Taehyung for sort of cheating on Jungkook. He really liked Jungkook not just because he was the reason he and Yoongi got together(he was their cupid), but also because the younger is generally a nice guy who genuinely loved his bestfriend. He actually thought that the couple would wind up getting married in a few years. Guess it will never happen.
But as much as he hated what happened, he couldn’t find himself ignoring or abandoning his bestfriend. He knows that Taehyung has already regretted what he did. He probably couldn’t help him with his wish of getting back with Jungkook(because the younger seems to have moved on with a new lover), but he wants to help his bestfriend heal from his heartbreak, even if it takes a long time.
“It’s alright, Tae. Just let it out.”
============
Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody love you like I do
Promise that I will not take it personal, baby
If you're moving on with someone new
(Flashback)
“Tae, what did I do to deserve this?”
Taehyung couldn’t look in the eye of the drunk, broken man infront of him. He wanted to comfort him, but he was too ashamed to do so. Not when he finally realized how much he has screwed up. He wanted to apologize, but e couldn’t bring himself to do so.
He came home from a dinner date with a co-worker named Do Jihan(who has been showing interest in him). He was surprised to find his and his boyfriend’s shared apartment dark and empty at 9 in the evening. Usually, his boyfriend would be at the couch, asleep or awake, waiting for him to go home.
It wasn’t the case that night.
It was past midnight when a drunk Jeon Jungkook, accompanied by a tipsy Kim Namjoon, entered. He felt the tension when he saw how Namjoon glared at him, as if he has an idea of what is going on between the couple. Namjoon is Jungkook’s bestfriend after all.
“J-jungkook..”
“Tae, I’ve let you off on the first 2 times you did this to me. Even if it means stepping on my pride as a man. Even if it hurts like hell.”
There was that long, agonizing sob that he never thought he would hear.
“Choi Minho, Park Hyungsik, Kim Minjae, even your boss’ friend, Park Bogum..?” Jungkook let out a dark, painful laugh. “All those times, Tae, I’ve let you off coz you told me that you have never gone as far as kissing any of them. That it was all just dinner dates and nothing more.”
It was true. Taehyung dated different men from work, behind Jungkook’s back, but he never allowed any of them to kiss him. Sure, he only led all those men on, but he was still sane enough to remember that he has a boyfriend. He, after all, only wanted the excitement he feels for being wanted by many.
“Kookie..” He reached out to his boyfriend, but was surprised when the other pushed his hands.
Jungkook looked at Taehyung with really sad eyes, puffy from all the crying. “I was never enough, right? Coz if I was.. If I was enough, you wouldn’t have looked at someone else.” He looked at the ceiling, trying to prevent tears from falling again. “But you know what Tae? You are so much more for me. Too much. And I have nothing but an overflowing love for you.”
And I love you too, Kookie. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Let’s start over. He wanted to say that, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Before he knew it, tears were already flowing out of his eyes.
A few hours of silence, Jungkook stood up and went into their shared room. Taehyung sat still until he heard a crashing sound. He immediately rushed to the bedroom and he was frozen when he sees scattered pieces of glass on the floor and a luggage that belongs to Jungkook.
“J-jungkook..?”
Jungkook looked at Taehyung for a minute before kneeling down to open his luggage. He opened his closet and placed his belongings.
“Jungkook, what is this?” Taehyung asked. Of course he knows his boyfriend is packing up. What he couldn’t understand is why is the younger doing this.
But the next words from Jungkook send his heart crashing.
“I’m leaving, Tae,” Jungkook whispered. “It’s no use to save this relationship. You clearly don’t want me in your life anymore so I’m letting--”
Taehyung ran towards Jungkook and crashed their lips together. “No! No Kookie! No please don’t!”
The younger lightly pushed Taehyung off him. “Tae, please don’t make this hard for me,” he pleaded softly. Tears began flowing from his eyes again. He wanted to leave the apartment while he still can. He is angry and sad at the same time but he doesn’t want to hurt Taehyung and himself. “Just.. Just let me leave.”
But Taehyung won’t have it. He immediately pulled Jungkook into a tight hug as he wept. “Kookie, please. Don’t leave me. Please don’t,” he begged. “You can hurt me, punch me, beat me up. I deserve that for hurting you, alright? But please don’t leave me. Please!”
Jungkook stayed still. In his heart, he wanted to stay with Taehyung and start again, because he loves the older that much. But his heart is already broken. Taehyung broke him so many times and he doesn’t think he can handle it anymore. He doesn’t think that Taehyung will actually change or that everything in their relationship will go back to the way it was. He’s had enough.
“Tae..” He returned the older’s hug before kissing him. Just one last time. He kissed him with all the love that he has and the older responded to it. Just one last time, Tae. He withdrew himself from the kiss and looked at the older. “Taehyung, please know that I love you. I will always love you”
The teary-eyed Taehyung smiled at the words. “And I love you too. And I’m--” Before he could finish his words, he felt Jungkook removing his arms around him. He shivered at the loss of contact. He was about to ask a question when he realized that Jungkook has returned to packing up. “K-kookie.. What--”
“I can’t stay here anymore, Tae. In this apartment and in your life.”
Taehyung felt his heart drop and his soul leave his body. “B-but--”
Jungkook placed one last item inside his luggage before closing it. He took a deep breath. He needs to say what he has been holding back before he leaves. “Tae, I love you. But I can’t let you break my heart anymore. I.. I want to have some time for myself now.” He smiled a sad smile. ”Over the past few months, I have done nothing but love you. My life revolved around you, you know that?”
Taehyung could only look and listen at Jungkook.
“But you broke my heart so much. The moment you.. The moment you did things behind my back, I started asking myself if I did you anything wrong to deserve to hurt. If you have ever loved me..”
“I do.. I still do.”
Jungkook shook his head. “You shouldn’t have done what you did then. I deserve better things. I deserve to love someone who will love love me and only me.”
“But I only love you, Kookie.”
“No, Tae. You only loved yourself.” There he said it. “So please, just.. Just let me let you go. Let me go. Let’s end this. I don’t want us to end up hurting each other.”
“Then please stay and let’s start over,” Taehyung pleaded one more time. “Stay with me, Kookie. Please.”
Jungkook shook his head. “I can’t stay anymore, Tae. I just can’t stay here anymore, with you. I deserve better things and a better person.” He took his luggage and walked towards Taehyung. He kissed him for the last time. “Goodbye, Kim Taehyung.”
With those words, Jeon Jungkook walked out of the apartment, and out of Taehyung’s life.
(End of flashback)
Jimin placed a very thick blanket over the sleeping Taehyung.
Earlier, he accompanied his bestfriend at a bar and watched him as he drowned himself in alcohol.
“He really is not coming back to me. He found himself a new lover, not even a month after we broke up,” Taehyung slurred. “He didn’t wait for me. He moved on.. Just like that.” He was a drunken mess, he could tell. “But he looks happy now, right Chim? He seems happier without me now..”
Jimin could only watch him. He’d rather stay quiet and let his bestfriend let out what he feels.
“I don’t blame him if he decided to get himself another lover, Chim. That Seokjin guy is probably a hundred times.. No! A thousand times better than I will ever be to Kookie, right?”
Jimin sighed before humming in response to the question.
Taehyung poured himself another drink and raised the shot glass. “To Jeon Jungkook.. My beloved Jungkookie.. My Kookie.. This drink is for you. I want you to be happy. Just be happy. You deserve to be happy!” He raised the shot glass higher before drinking its content, ignoring the burning sensation that it gave on his throat. “Yeah. Be happy, my Kookie.” He poured another drink. “And Kim Seokjin, please don’t hurt him, okay? Make him happy. My Kookie deserves only love and happiness, okay?”
When Taehyung passed out from too much drinking, Jimin decided to take him to his and Yoongi’s shared apartment. Yoongi helped him put his drunk bestfriend into the extra room that they have in the apartment.
“Hon, I’m so sorry,” Jimin mumbled as he hugged his boyfriend. Yoongi happened to be very close to Jungkook so just like Namjoon, he hated Taehyung for breaking the younger’s heart, and Jimin understands that. “I had no choice but to bring him here. I wanted to bring him to his apartment but I was so worried about you.”
Yoongi only smiled. “Babe, it’s alright. I hate your bestfriend for the things he did to Jungkook, but he’s still your bestfriend and he needs you. I can just ignore him.”
“Thank you, hon. Are you alright though?”
Yoongi nodded. “Much better. Namjoon dropped by earlier after taking care of things for his wedding and accompanied me, so it’s alright.”
Jimin smiled and kissed his boyfriend. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He entwined their fingers, closed the lights in the room and left the sleeping figure all by himself.