Chapter Text
Shit, shit, shit!
An arc of blood flew from the edges of Eren’s blades as he sliced the skin of a titan’s neck, coating one of his wings in the steamy red substance. It threw off his balance as well as concentration while he attempted to shake his feathers free from the offending stain. Distracted, Eren let out a shout as he narrowly avoided a vicious swipe from a 4-meter titan running past. Forced to evade with such little notice, he descended in a tight spiral and ducked into a shadowed alcove.
Damn, that was way too close! Folding his wing so that he could quickly clean it, Eren set to work, all the while cursing his luck. This was a Scouting Legion expedition – just like all the others he had participated in for the last three years – but this one was particularly frustrating and Eren felt even more on edge than usual. With strict orders from Commander Irwin himself, he was forbidden to shift into a titan with no other explanation other than ‘to minimize property damage.’
Since when had property become more valuable than human lives?
Eren grit his teeth, venturing a glance outside his shelter. I’m probably not getting the full story, he tried to reason with himself, ruffling his feathers impatiently as he examined his work. Levi probably knows, but chances of him filling me in are next to none.
After a moment, Eren huffed loudly; he couldn’t be bothered by the imperfect result of his work. It wouldn’t pass Levi’s standards, but it would have to do – he had already taken too much time. Checking his blades, Eren was further dismayed to find he was down to his last pair.
Definitely no room for error now.
Stretching his wings, Eren crouched, thrumming with energy he knew he shouldn’t be able to have. His bones were aching, his muscles sore – this battle had been progressing for at least a couple hours now – and yet by sheer willpower alone he was able to force his body to fight on. As long as there were still titans to kill, forfeiting wasn’t an option. Eren launched himself into the air with a mighty heave, wings beating heavily to keep him airborne.
Ten seconds hadn’t even progressed before a titan tried to snatch him from the air, fat fingers just barely skimming the tips of his primaries. With a snarl, Eren twisted and dove, jamming his blades into the titan’s skin and ripping off a slice from its neck. It took an extra amount of effort, though, and Eren realized with a grimace that his blades were dulling.
It was then that a shriek to his left grabbed his attention. Gaining a higher altitude for a better and safer vantage point, Eren watched in grim horror as another titan curled a fist around a female soldier’s wing, snapping the bone like a twig before shoving the wailing owner into its mouth, silencing the piteous cries.
Eren ground his teeth angrily, bringing his hand up to his mouth on instinct before remembering the orders Irwin had given him. The brunette tightened his grip on the blade handles, clearly vexed. Would it hurt to disobey just this once? Weren’t some rules meant to be broken? Surely the consequences wouldn’t outweigh the outcome if more people survived because he had chosen to shift—
“Eren.”
Brought back to reality in an instant, Eren whirled around to find himself within a yard’s distance of Corporal Levi, hovering with the steady rhythm of his sleek ebony wings. The man was always just so damn silent. It was a deadly skill he used to every advantage and no doubt one of the many reasons why his titan kill count was off the charts.
“Enjoying the view?” Levi’s words were mocking, but his tone was severe. It was a round-about demand for ‘what the fuck do you think you’re doing?’
Excuses weren’t tolerated, so Eren skipped to the point. “Why can’t I transform?” It sounded like a whiny plea and no doubt Levi thought of it as such, but he wanted answers. “What does it matter if a few buildings are destroyed? Commander Irwin doesn’t have to know—”
“Just because he’s not here with us doesn’t mean he won’t find out,” Levi countered, fixing Eren with a stony stare. Irwin had been unable to accompany them ever since his accident when Eren was fifteen, having suffered the loss of both an arm and a wing.
“You’d—you’d tell him?”
“Regardless if I tattle on you or not, the answer is no, you can’t.” When Eren tried to argue, Levi sneered. “We don’t have time for this, Eren. You can either do your job or watch your friends die.”
Eren scowled; after three years, he was still unable to win an argument against Levi (though he liked to think he had come close several times). However, today wasn’t the day to try and succeed, so the boy held his temper at bay. “My remaining blades are dull,” he admitted, holding the blood-soaked weapons aloft.
Levi’s steely eyes ran along them once. “Alright. You can have some of my—”
A blood-curdling scream nearby chilled Eren’s blood, causing the rhythm of his wingbeats to stutter. Lowering his gaze, his suspected fears were confirmed – Armin’s leg was held captive in a titan’s grasp despite his desperate attempts to free himself. The blonde boy’s rounded wings strained with effort, though it was clear he wouldn’t succeed on his own.
“Armin, I’m coming!” Eren flattened his wings against his back, diving at a steep angle. Levi shouted something after him, but Eren was deaf to everything except Armin’s cries. With a yell, the brunette raised his blades and brought them down upon the targeted titan’s wrist, using all his strength to cut through bone. The severed hand fell, taking Eren’s blades with it. Armin was free, but now he was weaponless.
Without a second thought, Eren dropped after them. They were right there, lying beside the bloody, steaming appendage. All he needed to do was swoop down and grab them as he passed. Spreading his wings to decelerate, Eren reached to seize them, unaware that the titan above him now viewed him as the primary target and was intent on carrying out revenge.
“EREN!”
Armin’s warning exclamation alerted him a moment too late; looking up, Eren watched – as if detached from his body – as the titan slammed its remaining hand against the wall above him, showering everything below in debris and dust. There was no time to react or escape; Eren was hardly even cognizant of the fact that he was being roughly pushed out of the way, sent sprawled backwards and wings awkwardly splayed, but surprisingly safe and most importantly, alive.
Eren watched in a daze as Mikasa suddenly swooped in and finished the titan off. She was a flurry of black and white, the rapid movement of her wings bringing her to Eren’s side in the same amount of time it took Eren to slowly blink once.
“Eren, are you alright?” she instantly demanded, resting a hand on her brother’s shoulder.
Shaking his head to rid his hair of rubble, he assured her he was. A bit shaken, yes, but he was fine. He comforted Armin in the same way when he landed not long after, blue eyes wide with worry.
Realizing how lucky he was to be unharmed, Eren paused. “Wait… which one of you pushed me out of the way?”
Mikasa and Armin shared a confused glance between them, eyeing Eren quizzically together. “I was killing the titan, Eren,” Mikasa explained slowly, “and Armin was nowhere near you when you were almost crushed. I had assumed you had somehow managed to jump away?”
The brunette shook his head firmly. “No, I couldn’t have. There was no time. I felt someone push me back, but I couldn’t tell who it was… Armin? Do you…” Eren’s voice trailed off as he caught sight of Armin’s expression – he was staring at a place somewhere near the dead titan. “Armin? Are you alright?”
“I think it was the corporal…”
“What? Speak up, I can’t hear you when you speak that softly.”
Armin finally met Eren’s eye, shaking visibly. “I think it was Levi who helped you, and… and I didn’t see him fly away. I think he’s… he’s still over there.”
Eren’s breath hitched. Levi had saved him? Scrambling to his feet, Eren stumbled over to the giant pile of debris and wreckage, heart hammering madly and skipping several beats. Oh god, if Levi was dead because of him, because of his stupidity and rash actions – no, it couldn’t be happening all over again. He couldn’t bear to live with this consequence. He had already been responsible, directly and indirectly, for the deaths of family and numerous friends; to think that he would have to add Humanity’s Strongest Soldier to the list—
“Corporal Levi!”
There was a body, at least. Eren felt his blood run cold for the second time that day at the sight of Levi’s crumpled form, covered in dust and rubble, lying on his stomach and unmoving. He was faintly pleased to notice that the corporal’s wings, though unnaturally dirtied and ruffled, were still bent in all the right ways. A miracle, but it wouldn’t count for anything if the owner’s life was already lost…
“Sir, Corporal Levi, can you hear me…” Eren lowered himself onto his knees, trying to quell his rising panic. Brushing the hair from Levi’s eyes, Eren wiped the dust from the older man’s eyelashes, nose, and mouth, hoping the touches would result in some sort of reaction. His thumb lingered on Levi’s lips, wondering if mouth-to-mouth would be necessary, and his spine tingled at the thought. “Corporal, oh please, please say something…”
He heard footsteps behind him, signaling Mikasa and Armin’s approach. He turned to them, a touch of alarm lacing his voice. “He’s not responding!”
Armin gasped, but Mikasa stepped forward calmly, masking her own fear. “Does he have a pulse?”
Eren swallowed but hastened to check, pressing two fingers to the side of Levi’s neck. He let out a shaky breath after several seconds (had he really forgotten to breathe just then?) as he felt a faint pulse beneath his fingertips – Levi was alive.
“Turn him on his back,” Mikasa directed. “We need to get him conscious.”
Eren nodded quickly, moving to comply. It was then that he realized Levi’s legs were buried under the wreckage, a sizeable piece resting directly on top. Resisting a wince, he pointed it out his comrades. “Do you think you guys could move that while I pull him out?”
Armin appeared doubtful, but did his best to disguise it like Mikasa. “We’ll have to hurry, before another titan comes.”
Mikasa and Armin took their places and affirmed they were ready. Eren hooked his hands beneath Levi’s arms, his mouth set in a grim line. “Alright. On the count of three. One, two, three—”
Eren pulled and the other two pushed. Levi suddenly sprang to life, letting out a sharp, tormented cry.
“Levi!” Eren breathed, all honorifics forgotten as he cradled the corporal to his chest, face-up. He sank down onto his knees again; he never would’ve guessed he’d be so grateful to merely see the corporal breathe.
But Eren’s happiness quickly dissipated as he began to notice the older man’s ragged breathing, the tenseness of his jawline, and the way his eyes shone with the muted pain he refused to voice. Fear started to crawl through Eren’s veins; for Levi to be expressing even the slightest amount of pain, something must be very, very wrong.
“Sir… what’s—” Eren was interrupted by a squeak from Armin, and his stomach dropped uncomfortably.
“His legs…”
Eren’s heart grew heavy with dread, and when he finally mustered the courage to look for himself, he wished all the same he hadn’t. He looked away fast, feeling tears prick his eyes. Whatever the damage, it wasn’t good. There was blood – lots of blood… and it wasn’t titan blood, or else it’d be steaming…
He was also sure legs weren’t meant to bend like that.
This was his fault – all his goddamn fault. He had required saving once again, damn it all, and Levi was hurt even worse than before. If he had just waited to receive new blades before rushing in to rescue Armin… If he had just listened…
Eren turned back to Levi, hoping to soothe him in any way possible, but anything he had in mind died on his lips. No apology could fix this – nothing he could say would improve anything. He knew Levi must be angry with him or disappointed, or most likely a mixture of the two, and he doubted he’d ever gain the man’s respect after this ordeal.
Would Levi even talk to him after this?
“Eren.” Mikasa’s voice interrupted his anxious thoughts. “We need to get to safety and bring the corporal back for medical attention.”
Eren hesitated but knew Mikasa was right. He bit his bottom lip as he carefully slid one arm around Levi’s shoulders (wings tucked carefully against his back) and the other beneath his legs at the knee joint. He nearly whimpered as Levi flinched with a soft “shit,” his shallow breaths quickening.
“I’m sorry, sir, I’m so sorry,” he repeated in a mantra as he slowly stood, following Armin. (Mikasa had decided to continue to fight, excusing herself reluctantly. “I’ll call the retreat. With the corporal out of commission, it looks like we’ve done all we can.”) He wanted to return as quickly as he could, whether by running on foot or flying, but he had to maintain an even, steady pace to avoid jostling the older man as much as possible. It was like he could feel the precious time slipping away.
He was about to apologize for the umpteenth time when,
“I will kick the shit out of you all over again if you say ‘sorry’ one more time.”
It was quiet and strained, but it definitely came from Levi.
“Ah—sorry—yes, sir.”
Levi’s eyes were still closed (and had been since they had started walking back to the cart, so Eren had assumed he had lost consciousness again), so he failed to see the faint smile on the brunette’s lips. If the corporal was swearing at him again, then things were starting to look for the better.
Right?
“How are you feeling?” Eren ventured, thankful when the cart came into sight, horses already prepped.
Levi exhaled slowly through his nose, mouth pressed in a thin line. “Better, I believe.”
Eren brightened a little more. “Already?”
“Yeah.” Levi turned his head, opening his eyes to look directly at Eren. “I can’t feel my legs anymore.”