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In hindsight, you probably should have picked something else to wear.
You look fine, of course; The hour or so you had spent trying to figure out what would be suitable for your date with Yuuta-kun – at least, you believed it was a date, for you could not look at it any other way – paid off nicely. He complimented you when the two of you met up in front of the park not too long ago, with averted eyes and slightly flushed cheeks you decided were caused by the agonizing heat and nothing more.
After all, the 15th of August just so happened to be unbearably hot.
You feel as though you're melting, not unlike a bar of chocolate, or a tower of icecream. Ah, maybe you could put the bills you impulsively shoved in your pocket to use, and treat yourself to both without worrying about whether they would accept credit cards... No, you shouldn't be thinking of such things right now! To leave Yuuta-kun in the dust for something he doesn't even like, what kind of friend would you be? Accepting that you would be better off watching him idly pet the cat sitting comfortably in his lap, you gently swing back and forth. While you do feel a bit immature doing this, you still do think swing sets are good fun.
"You know," Yuuta mumbles, causing you to stop and turn your head towards him, "curry is the only good thing about summer."
He pouts after saying that (your heart flutters ever so slightly) and you realize you might not be the only one who yearns for something in these trying times. However, before you can ask him about dining somewhere, the black cat jumps off his lap, scampering towards the road. Alarmed, your friend sets off after it. While you understand why he would be concerned – from what he's told you about both of his cats, he holds them very dear to his heart – he doesn't even bother looking right or left so as to avoid whatever cars might drive by himself, so you follow him while fearfully yelling at him to do so. He scoops the cat up, softly scolding it for doing something so dangerous, while you sigh in relief before stealing a glance at the traffic light.
It's bright red.
Your eyes go wide, and you're only able to reach out and call Yuuta's name before a truck comes out of nowhere, irregularly sprayed blood red by the time you notice it, but you can't see Yuuta anywhere, nor can you figure out where the sudden scream came from – not until it passes, because that's when you see the twisted body on the ground not far from you. You nearly don't recognize it, not until you notice the clearly broken cyan headphones nearby, or the spots of fiery orange amidst what you realize is his blood, and the fact that he's dead hits you as though another truck just happens to speed by.
If only there was one.
You're unable to hold back your sobs, but the people approaching the scene don't seem to notice you. However, someone gently places their hand on your shoulder. You look behind you, wiping your tears, intending to thank the person, but upon making eye contact with them you realize that they look just like you. (How would Hinata-kun react to his brother's death, you wonder.) Their previously soft expression turning smug, they get uncomfortably close with you to whisper that this is the real thing
– the last thing you hear before your vision blurs—
—And you come to your senses.
-
You immediately cling to the nearest pillow – just something to provide a sense of security while you try to comprehend what in the world that was. Even in near-total darkness, you notice your familiar surroundings; You've just woken up in your own bed, from what you hope was a vivid nightmare. The clock by your bed reads 12:04, so you shakily get up to retrieve your phone from where you left it to charge, and surely enough – it's the day you're supposed to meet Yuuta. Thinking that would be enough to calm your nerves, you set it down beside you while sinking into your bed.
If the continuous tick-tock of the clock as you feel for your phone is any indication, you were mistaken.
As much as you want to call Yuuta to check on him, by doing so you could wake up the entire house – a vague memory from the start of spring says it might not bode very well – so perhaps sending him a text is your best course of action. Maybe you could test out the application he recommended you once, with all the cute stickers...
-
You nearly fall out of bed that morning.
You don't remember having set an alarm for today, but it worked better than you might have expected it to. You reach towards your phone to stop the alarm– wait, isn't it unhealthy to sleep with your phone beside you? However, all your questions are answered when you notice an unseen notification, a goodnight message from Yuuta. That's right– you sent him a message to make sure he was alright, but the two of you started sending eachother stickers until you decided that you were most definitely sleeping before 1am.
Scrolling through the sticker spam, as Yuuta called it, you chuckle to yourself. It seems you took the nightmare to heart, as you sent him a reminder that it would be warmer than usual in the afternoon. You need to dress accordingly as well...
...Right after breakfast, your grumbling stomach says.
-
"As expected of Tsukasa-kun," Yuuta chirps, when you meet up in the afternoon, "you even checked the weather~ Thanks, I'd be good as dead without you!"
Something about that worries you more than it should.
"By the way, um..." he averts his eyes again, something a bit too familiar, "you look nice today..."
His face is slightly flushed again, but you decide that it might not just be the heat. A smile makes its way across your face, even moreso when he hides his face slightly when you compliment his own outfit choice (who knew he would look so cute in a skirt?)
A cat makes its way towards the swing set after you make yourselves comfortable on the swings, but you say nothing.
He mumbles and grumbles about curry, but you say nothing.
Nothing, that is, until it scampers away again, which causes you to instinctively take hold of Yuuta's hand.
"How about we find a place to eat?"
You suggest this a bit too hastily, but he's more concerned about the cat than your tone of voice. When he tries to argue, you quickly say the cat will be fine in the hopes of stopping him. The traffic light is still green, so he hesitantly nods, much to your relief. You agree on walking around aimlessly until you find somewhere that sounds decent, but his hand brushing against yours while you do catches you off guard... surprisingly, you don't mind, and he hums a little when you hold his hand. A good sign, you suppose?
Now, if only it stayed that good.
You notice the grip on your hand loosening before anything else, such as the crowd gasping and pointing upwards, or the iron pole dropping from the sky and going right through–
Oh god.
You don't know when Yuuta walked in front of you, you feel as though you have to know, but there's no more time to ask, not with blood spraying everywhere again and Yuuta's pained screams ringing in your ears again– so all you can do is crumple to the floor pathetically, public image be damned.
Someone whispers faintly, yet loudly enough for you to hear them–
"So much for his curry..."
No.
"This is the real thing, you know."
That's the last thing you hear, before your vision blurs—
—but the last thing you see is the smile on Yuuta's face.
-
It doesn't get much easier than that.
When you decide avoiding roads completely is a better option, you find that person waiting at the top of the staircase, looking ready to push you off– but the feeling of your hand being let go of, followed by a sickening crack, is what fills you with dread.
Your vision blurs.
When you agree on dining somewhere else, you make one wrong turn. Before you can turn back you hear gunshots, then Yuuta lets go of your hand, and that's when you notice the bullets riddling his body.
Your vision blurs.
The next time he dies, you wish you were there to hold his hand – if only you understood his cryptic, typo-filled messages early enough, then his body wouldn't be dangling by the neck in front of you, as a reminder that you failed to save him once again.
Your vision blurs.
It's been like that for what seems like a decade, but you've lost track a long time ago. You haven't gotten a wink of sleep in ages, all lost due to you desperately finding ways to save Yuuta. Still, you find even the warmth of your bed has become dulled with how often you wake up to it. With a resigned sigh, you set your phone down, burying your face into your pillow.
You wouldn't mind if it smothered you to death at this point.
-
The idea comes to you at the swingset.
You've always had to watch Yuuta die in various gruesome ways, lots of which you weren't aware of prior to witnessing them.
Now, what would happen if you were to get yourself killed instead?
"Earth to Tsukasa-kun?"
Then you would surely protect him this time, right?
Like a shadow nestled close, you muse.
The cat scampers away, for what you hope will be the last time. You both chase it this time around, ending up right in the middle of the road.
You take the bright red light as a cue to give him a gentle push to safety.
All thinking is momentarily halted by the sharp pain that runs through your body once the truck collides with you (ah, it's you who cries out now,) sending you flying for a second. You find yourself unable to move after you've fallen to the ground – so this is how it feels.
Out of the corner of your eye, you happen to spot that person. He stands behind Yuuta, just as he did with you, but the hand he placed on your shoulder is held in front of him, as a single tear rolls down his cheek. This is the real thing, serves you right, you almost expect him to say.
What you don't expect is the blue-tinted hand on Yuuta's trembling shoulder, that seems to be there to stop his stream of choked up apologies, the last things you hear before your vision blurs—
-
—and you come to your senses.
-
It's times like there where a cat does make good company, yours not complaining when you pull it close as you cry under the covers. You don't know if your brother hears you, nor do you care – it's just a ripoff copy of the person you care so deeply about that sleeps peacefully in the bunk above you.
"I failed again," you choke, as the cat in your lap purrs.
Your phone chimes not too long after that.