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“Martin,” Douglas said quietly, watching the red flush spread further across his boyfriend’s freckled face.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Martin almost whimpered, tears running down his cheeks. He wrung his hands together, slender fingers plucking at each other around the mug of tea warming his palms.
“Martin,” Douglas repeated firmly, taking the mug from Martin and wrapping the pale hands within his own, larger ones. “Just tell me what happened.”
“W-well when I was in the interview in Yver-Yver, Switzerland,” Martin’s voice shook and he stuttered. Douglas firmed his grip on the man’s hands as his fingers twitched.
“Martin,” Douglas said softly, chocolate eyes meeting Martin’s sky blue orbs. “Just tell me… I won’t be angry.”
“But you were!” Martin protested, pulling his hands away.
“Because you were lying to me! For this, for us, to work, we need to be truthful with each other.”
Martin deflated against the back cushion of the couch. They were in Douglas’s living room, movie paused and tea on the coffee table.
“D-do you…want to…?”
Douglas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, exasperated not with Martin, but himself. “No, Martin, I didn’t mean to imply we should break up. That’s the furthest thing from my mind… Just… help me understand. Please.”
Martin took a deep breath and nodded slightly. “I… okay, At the interview… well, turns out they didn’t actually want to give me a job.”
Anger swelled up within Douglas. To get one’s hopes up only to learn they never had a chance? Martin was the least person in the world to deserve such cruelty.
“They invited me there because I’d gotten a hundred on the exam. They said it was meant to have scores ‘round forty and sixty percent.” He paused when Douglas chuckled. “What?”
“I, I’m sorry, Love, but it’s just so… you. You know the entire bloody book by heart.”
Martin flashed a small smile before sobering again. “They, they thought I cheated! Me!”
“How could they think that? You’re the worst liar in the world with the sole exception of our steward.”
“Yes, thank you, Douglas… well I proved that I didn’t cheat. They’d mistaken a seven for a one so they thought I got only a ninety nine. That’s all they wanted. To find out how I cheated. So they told me to go… well, not really, the CEO tried to leave then.”
“The CEO was there?!”
“Yeah… But I made him stay. Oskar Bider! I made him stay!” Martin sounded a bit proud so Douglas encouraged him.
“I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you, Darling.” He said, slinging an arm around Martin’s shoulder and stroking his bicep with his thumb.
“Then… it went…bad.”
“Bad?”
“I... may have said…” Martin paused, “that I wasn’t very good at flying aeroplanes.”
“In an interview. For a job as a pilot. Where you would be flying aeroplanes.”
“Yes.” Martin said shortly.
“And they offered you a job? I mean, you’re a fair pilot, Love, but that interview sounds… unfortunate to say the least.”
“Well, Oskar had tuned me out after I had made him stay. He was… impressed. And he gave me the job right there. I could start in June.”
“Okay, consider me caught up. Now, why did you tell us they’d ‘let you know’?”
“Well…” Martin took a deep breath before blurting out, “Because I didn’t know if I wanted to leave because MJN is like a family and GERT-I’s home and I was in love with you and I knew we wouldn’t talk if I moved to bloody Zurich!” Martin said all this in one breath, desperate for Douglas to understand, to avoid any anger from the older man.
“Martin, calm.” Douglas said. “Okay?”
Martin nodded.
“So…” a predatory grin lit up Douglas’s face. “You were in love with me even then?” They’d been a couple since late March, the interview was in April.
Martin turned bright red. “I… I fell in love with you that trip from Hong Kong to Limerick… all the games and your bloody brown sauce… wasn’t til that disastrous trip to Newcastle I let myself admit it.”
“So… with the polar bears…”
“Can you see why I was a tad hesitant?” All irritableness in Martin’s voice was contrasted by the misery on his face and guilt washed over Douglas.
“Martin…”
“It’s fine, Douglas. I didn’t say anything and the Quicky thing was my fault.”
“Hush. I was being a right arse and I’m sorry.” Douglas took ahold of Martin’s chin and tilted it up. He carefully pressed his lips against Martin’s. “Forgive me?”
“Yes,” Martin was a brilliant shade of red and trying to suppress a lunatic’s grin.
“MJN is your family?” Douglas asked curiously.
“Well, yeah,” Martin pulled away. “My family was pretty… tame when we visited them and… well MJN’s my family. And… even if I have no money, I don’t want to leave you behind.” The brief calm gave way to more tears, and a faint, shuddering sob.
“Martin,” Douglas said, wiping a tear from Martin’s face. “You should take the job.”
“What?” Martin breathed, eyes wide and bright. “You… don’t you…?”
His unspoken words were clear to Douglas. Don’t you want me? Here, with you?
“Of course I do. But I can hardly ask you to give up the opportunity of a lifetime for a jaded old man.”
“But I want to!” Martin drove a fist into his thigh. “Don’t talk like that! You aren’t old and I lov-“ Martin froze. He’d not actually verbalized the “L” word directly before.
“Martin-“
“I-I love you! H-How can I move to Switzerland when I love you?”
“I could easily use a clichéd line of poetry here, but I’ll refrain.”
Martin gave a watery smile.
“I am hopelessly smitten with you, yet you should take, nay, you deserve this job. You’ve done so much for MJN but you don’t get paid… you need the money, no matter how selfishly I’d like to beg you to stay.”
Martin nodded slowly. “I suppose you’re right.” Martin’s voice cracked. “But…” Martin paused.
“Go on,” Douglas prompted.
“I’ll miss you.” Martin sounded so lost and miserable that Douglas could do nothing but wrap him up into his strong arms, tucking Martin’s head into his neck.
Martin relaxed against Douglas’s hold, shuddering against his chest with gulping sobs.
“Oh, Martin, hush, Darling, I know, I know.” Douglas pressed a kiss to Martin’s temple. “Shh, my darling, we’ll figure it out.” Already Douglas’s mind was whirring, trying to calculate expenses.
“Don’t wanna leave you…” Martin mumbled into Douglas’s neck.
“I know, I know,” Douglas soothed, gently stroking his back.
“It’s okay, I know, I’m here.”