Work Text:
From the Dark World movie story book:
Several stories above, inside her chamber, the real Frigga stood over a fire pit and watched as the image of Loki faded in the flames and smoke.
“He will only disappoint you,” a voice said from behind her, breaking her out of her trance. It was Thor.
“Why indulge him?” Thor continued. “The gifts? The visits?” Thor couldn’t understand how Frigga still had so much compassion for someone who had done so much evil.
“I think if you ask the guards, they will tell you I was never there,” Frigga said with a hint of smile. She made her way over to Thor and continued, “What would you have me do? I am his mother and he is my son. I loved you no less when you were banished.”
“Our crimes were hardly equal,” Thor was quick to point out. Then he added, “Don’t you ever regret teaching him your magic?”
“You and your father cast long shadows,” Frigga began, hoping to finally make Thor understand. “I had hoped that by sharing my gifts with Loki, he could feel some sun for himself.”
“But you were wrong.”
“For the moment.”
“You still see good in him, don’t you” Thor asked.
“I see glimmers of light I thought long extinguished,” Frigga stated, optimistic that Thor might one day share her point of view.
……………
“You should cease your visits; disown him as father has done.”
She reached up and stroked his face with gentle fingers. “How did I raise such a monster,” she said, softly.
“It wasn’t your fault. Odin said it was a fault in Loki’s blood.”
“I was talking of you, Thor. Do you truly have no forgiveness in your heart?”
“You call me a monster?” he stood back, voice raised in anger.
“Thor, you killed his kin for amusement.”
“Jotuns, mother. And I sought to punish them for invading our world! It’s hardly the same.”
“You killed his brother, you know. Byleister. I haven’t told Loki, but you killed the brother of his blood in your lust for murder.”
Thor took a step back, angry at her words and puzzled by her soft and gentle expression. “Be that as it may, our crimes are not comparable, and I have made my reparations.”
“Yes, Son of Odin. You slaughtered innocent people by the hundreds, and as punishment you were given a three day vacation to Midgard, where you found yourself a nice young woman and a new group of friends. I can see how that compares to Loki being imprisoned until the end of his days for doing the same thing as yourself and Odin.”
“Do you truly believe that, mother?” he said, wondering if she was testing him.
“Let me tell you a story, Thor. Do you know how Odin and I met?”
“When Odin brought peace to Vanaheim you united your kingdoms through marriage. Everyone knows that.”
“When Odin brought peace to Vanaheim. Do you know how he did that?”
Thor frowned. “I know there was a mighty battle, but Vanaheim acknowledged the right of Asgard to rule.”
She sighed softly, never losing her smile.
“Odin invaded Vanaheim in his unceasing quest for power, with his unquenchable lust for blood.”
Thor felt the anger in his veins, “How can you say such a thing! You are Odin’s wife!”
“He came to my world with armies such as we had never seen. Asir warriors with weapons beyond our imagining - weapons stolen from so many other words. Slaves from Midgard who died thinking it an honour, thinking they would be allowed into Valhalla – as if Odin would ever have allowed a mortal into those hallowed halls. Slaves taken from every realm he had already conquered, who fought because they had no choice yet still managed to take Vanir lives.”
“Odin uses warriors from other realms to save the lives of good Asir.”
“And you would still support that?”
“No,” Thor said thoughtfully, thinking of his new friends on Midgard. “Perhaps not, but times were different then.”
“We were not prepared for war. Vanaheim has always been a peaceful realm. The armies of Asgard slaughtered our people by the thousands. Our defences fell to axes and fire. When Odin came into the palace where I had been raised, he spared none.”
“It was his right as conqueror,” Thor excused.
“He took my family to the dungeons while he plundered my home. My mother was a great sorcerer, and he called her a witch and killed her. He made us all watch.”
“Mother…”
Frigga never stopped smiling. “Odin made my father watch as his wife was burned. Then he sent my father to Alfheim and told them to take him as their king.”
“It was an honour. Odin could have rightfully killed a defeated king. Making him king of another realm was an honor!”
“It was a cruelty. Alfheim is not cruel to my father, they humour him, but they know him to be mad with grief and loss. He is no king there, he is simply Odin’s mad victim. Powerless and imprisoned on a world where he can never see his family or his home again.”
“But you agreed to marry Odin,” Thor said, puzzled.
“Of course. He had taken my entire family. He took Frey and Freya and made him hostages here. He has Freya teach her magic to Asir women so that she can be used as a weapon against our people.”
“She is no weapon! There is peace between Asir and Vanir!” Thor protested.
“Yes, because if they ever rise up against those who enslaved them, then all the royal family of Vanaheim will be killed. Myself, my brother and sister, my father. All our lives are forfeit.”
“That’s not true!”
“And that is what you always said of Loki. Whenever he spoke uncomfortable truths, you would accuse him of lying, and Odin and I would take your side and thus his truths became lies, and so he became of the god of lies, and all the while the lies came from the house of Odin. We changed reality to make you free of uncomfortable truths, to make Loki a liar.”
“Mother! No! Loki lies, and you are lying now, and I know not why for!”
“Because I want you to understand why I do not call Loki a monster, why I do not give up on him, but why you sadden me so.”
“If Odin killed your mother, then it was a necessity of war, I’m sure…” Thor trailed off, uncomfortable with even those words.
“If I try to leave, or if my brother or sister try to escape, then war comes again to Vanaheim. Odin made this very clear. If we try to return home, or try to see our father, he will take that as treason.”
“I will speak to him, I will-“
“I was fourteen when he took me. I did not understand what I was agreeing to when I said I would be his wife, but I agreed to save my family’s life. I said I would be Queen of Asgard to save my world from destruction.”
“I didn’t know…”
“All the tales speak of it. Odin comes to Vanaheim to take his child bride.”
“Yes, but I didn’t realise…”
“Fourteen, Thor. To me, Odin was a terrifying old man, more than 400 years older than me. He took me that day, in the same room my mother died, with her blood still on his hands. We were married days later so that he could declare himself officially king of Vanaheim.”
“Mother, I didn’t know…”
“And I keep smiling, Thor. That’s a part of it. I must never show my true feelings. I will play the part of the loving wife until I die. I will smile and support Odin and weep for my family, dead and enslaved, until the end of my days. If I don’t, my sister and my brother will die. If I try to escape from Odin, my world will die. So I smile and pretend to be a loving wife, and raise the bastards he brings home because my womb is cursed.”
“Bastards?”
“Yes. Freya’s magic. I have only had one child, Thor. Baldur. I conceived him probably that first time. I did not know how to stop a conception then. But after Baldur, Freya had been teaching all the women of Asgard how to stop a child in the womb. In her own way, she has her revenge, all the while still doing what Odin orders. I have stopped every child that Odin forced onto me since.”
“You… but I am your son…” Thor suddenly felt very small.
“No. Your mother was an earth giant called Gaia. She was newly married when Odin’s band found her, and you were barely showing. Odin bound her husband, made him watch as he took her. He let the soldiers watch – they thought it for their amusement, to see Odin’s power that he could take a giant like he could take an Asir or Vanir woman – but it was to that he could claim her child. He killed her husband and kept her here, in the castle, until you were born then placed you in my arms and declared you his son.”
“But, no, mother…” Thor felt, for one moment, the bottom drop out of his world. If Odin was not his father, then who was he?
“I am not your mother, and Odin is not your father. He knows not why he can sire no children of his own, but this was another gift from my sister. She is a goddess of fertility – and that goes both ways. She now controls when the children are born, and to whom, and the Asir have born no babies in a very, very long time.”
Thor stood in shock, looking down on his mother’s sweet and gentle face. She was still smiling very softly, she looked no more than she did when she offered him sweet cakes or kind words.
“Odin wanted you, child of giants, for your strength. Earth giants are not known for their intelligence, and they are easily controlled, but they are strong. It took few potions to stop you growing as tall as your parents, the same potions he gave to Loki to stop him from reaching the same height as a normal Jotun-“
“Loki is a runt, Odin said-“
“Odin lied. Odin wanted another child, another child of giants. But one that he could use against the Jotuns. They never bowed down as Vanaheim did, he could never control them the way he did my people.”
“Vanaheim is at peace, you-“
“Vanaheim is crushed. They are the food bowl of Asgard, and that’s all. They farm to feed the greed of Asgard. No change, no improvements, no technology. All must be done for the benefit of Asgard. My people are nothing more than slaves.”
“There is peace! They have freedom!”
“Freedom is life’s great lie, Thor. They are free to toil for the good of Asgard and nothing else. If they innovate or educate, they are called traitors to the crown and executed.”
“No, none of this… I don’t believe you! You have been possessed. It’s Loki, isn’t it! He’s poisoned your mind!” If Frigga did not love Odin, then all of Thor’s life had been a lie.
“Loki is the child of my heart. You I let live, unlike Baldur, because you are not Odin’s. Because you are never going to be a threat. You are a dear heart in many ways, but your intelligence is such that you will never be able to destroy and conquer as your father has done.”
Thor stepped back, horrified at what he was hearing. “Did you kill Baldur? Did you only let me live because you think me a fool?”
“Yes, but you have grown. I believe now that when Odin dies, perhaps you will let my people go free. Perhaps you will let your brother’s people go free? I believe the denizens of Midgard have taught you much. So much more than I was allowed, or Odin would allow.”
For a moment that smile looked genuine, and she moved to stroke Thor’s arm. “When Odin finally dies, the realms will be free.”
“Mother… you are possessed. This is not you, this is not you speaking!” If she had killed Baldur, or let him be killed, then all of Thor’s childhood had been a lie.
“Because I speak the uncomfortable truths? Will you decry me as your brother has been decried?”
“I cannot claim him as my brother now, you know that! I cannot accept what you say, nor what he has done!”
“Then if he is not your brother, you cannot be my son. He was always the child of my heart. Odin says he found Loki in the snow, but do you know why? Do you know truly why Loki was without comfort?”
“No, mother, please…”
“Loki’s mother died on Odin’s sword. Her name was Farbauti, and she died trying to save her world from the invaders who devastated her people. She died trying to defend her child. Odin knew that Loki would have magic. Odin knew that Loki would be a sorcerer of great power. Odin could not allow that power to stay in the hands of the Jotun, not when the Jotuns refused to bow their heads as slaves to Asgard. So Odin took the casket from the temple, and the child of his enemy, and raised that child as a weapon to be used against his own people.”
“Loki chose to attack Jotunheim!” Thor felt on better footing with that argument, even as Frigga continued to pull his feet out from under him.
“Yes. After a thousand years of being told the Jotuns were evil, that they were monsters. Loki believed every lie that Odin fed you both. Odin wanted a weapon to be used against Jotunheim, he wanted Loki to be their puppet king, loyal to Asgard but beaten down and broken enough to obey Odin in all things. He didn’t expect Loki to break so utterly and destroy Jotunheim. Now Loki has rendered that world useless to Odin, so Loki has rendered Loki useless to Odin as well.”
“I cannot believe this, mother. How can you stand there smiling at me and say these evil things?” Thor thought he couldn’t even recognise the woman who smiled at him so warmly, yet spilled such soul destroying words.
“Oh, Thor… I smile because I must. I must always be the Queen of Asgard. I must always be Odin’s obedient wife. I must never show my discontent; else my family and my people will suffer. I am Queen of Asgard, and will be until I die, but it’s time you knew the truth. It’s time you realised just why your brother is in the dungeons, when you have been allowed your redemption.”
“He killed thousands of people, mother!”
“And Odin has killed hundreds of thousands. Is the only difference that Odin won? Is that why Odin is king, and Loki is fool?”
Thor hung his head, “I cannot listen to this. If you say you are truly not my mother…”
“You have heard the rumours. Many spoke of the giantess. They bragged of Odin’s taking her and making her great with child. They boasted in the taverns that Odin would take any woman, that you were not a Vanir, weak and defeated, but the child of a giant, bowed to Odin’s prowess.”
“These were just the cruelties of drunkards – I never believed their slander, and Odin had the rumour mongers tongues cut out.”
“To protect his lies. Why do you think he had Loki’s lips sewn shut? To protect Odin’s lies, to make a lie of Loki’s truths. Loki, God of Inconvenient Truths.”
“What would you have me do? What can I do with these terrible things you have told me?” Thor could feel the desolation building in his soul.
“Forgive,” she said with a sweet and gentle smile.
“And which would you have me forgive? The one I once called brother who would curse my name? The father you would name monster? Or the mother who tells me stories of such vile evil I cannot hold belief?”
“I did not give birth to you, but I chose to let you live. If you are, beyond my predictions, a good heart, a good man, then you will forgive your brother. And seek his forgiveness.”
“What have I done to him that requires forgiveness?”
“Does it matter? In his anger he lashes out. In his mind he has made you the monster, because Odin is too powerful, too overwhelming a target. Find a reason to forgive him. Let him find a way to forgive you.”
“I feel I have lost all my family. Loki in the dungeons below, and you have made yourself and Odin strangers to me.”
“Perhaps now you see some insight into how Loki feels? To find his whole life was a lie?”
“Perhaps, but I am truly heart sore. If this is true…”
“If you can accept what I tell you, then consider that Loki will not remain in that cell forever, Thor, no matter what Odin may decide. He will be free, by his own wiles or by the wile of others. It’s just a matter of who he sees as the enemy when he is free. The women who raised him, who comforts him still? Even if it’s just with trinkets and books and weak words? Or the ‘brother’ who turned his back, believes Odin’s lies, and makes himself an enemy.”
Thor looked at the ground, overwhelmed by what Frigga had told him.
“Consider that Loki is a weapon so powerful Odin destroyed a realm to possess him. Consider if you want that weapon turned against you, Thor. Consider if, when Odin is dead, you want to step into his footsteps as king, or whether you will give freedom to the realms.”
“I must go,” Thor said, unwilling to meet her eyes, this Queen of lies. “I will think on what you’ve said.”
Thor walked away, his tread heavy, his inclination to ignore and forget all of Frigga’s words, decry her a liar as he’d often done to his brother. Because if what she said was true, then he could not allow Odin to remain on the throne not one more day.