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vik hadn't planned on tonight being any different than how his nights have been for the past week.
vik hadn't planned on leaving his room—what was the point? his house mates always tried to get him to leave, but he hadn't given in yet. there was nothing outside of his room that interested him right now. granted, nothing really interested him recently, but that's beside the point. even if someone did propose something that sounded interesting, vik didn't have the energy for it. he's been tired for years, but this is a whole new level of exhaustion, one he's struggling to handle.
vik can't think of a time he was ever this tired in his life. he was drained, in pretty much every way someone could be. all he wanted to do was sleep, but even sleep didn't always provide him relief. because more often than not, he found himself dreaming of kayleigh. which was nothing new, but over the past week, it's brought nothing but pain. it used to be a good thing—dreams with her used to be the best ones he had. but since she broke up with him, exactly one week ago today, they've turned into nightmares.
vik felt an ache shoot through his chest as he remembered. remembered her sitting him down on her couch. they had a lot of good memories on that couch. he made his first move on her on that couch. it was incredibly awkward, and vik was seriously embarrassed, but kayleigh told him she thought it was really cute. kayleigh gave him a key to her flat there, telling him she trusted him enough for it. it was on that couch that vik first said "i love you". he never would've thought that it would be there that she said "i don't think this is working" and "i can't do this anymore". he never would've thought he'd hear those words at all, though, to be fair.
when vik left kayleigh's flat that night, he felt like he'd been hit by a car. it fucking hurt, everywhere. he felt the pain in his chest, in his stomach, in his throat. his eyes burned as the tears flowed freely down his face. he hadn't cared. the news had been completely unexpected, and he didn't know how to cope with it.
a week later and vik didn't feel any different. he still couldn't understand why she hadn't been happy. where did they go wrong? where did he go wrong? vik thought he was making her happy. she had put on a well enough act. the breakup completely blind-sided him. vik put his head in his hands as he tried not to cry. he just didn't get it. how could she just throw away a year and a half? he had to have done something to cause such drastic action, but vik couldn't for the life of him figure it out.
vik is pulled out of his pity party of one by a series of knocks on his door, followed by it being flung open. he jumps at the sound of the handle colliding with his bedroom wall, and turns to look at the lad who is responsible. vik sighs quietly as he turns away, hoping simon will just go away.
"c'mon now, don't be like that," simon chastises, rolling his eyes.
"go away, simon," vik pleads, his voice hoarse. he hasn't talked much in the past week.
simon sucks in a breath between his teeth as he shakes his head. "no can do, lad. make yourself presentable, we're going out."
vik groaned as he turned back to the taller boy, feeling ten times more exhausted at the mere idea of going outside. "simon—"
"no," he interrupts, not having it, "listen to me. you've been in here for a week. i know you're hurting, vik, but this isn't how you cope with it. this isn't helping you, is it?"
vik stayed silent as simon looked at him knowingly. simon damn well knew the answer. though vik wouldn't admit to hurting, he hasn't uploaded a single video, an action that screams that vik isn't okay. if that didn't tell him anything, the circles under vik's eyes, and the rapid weight loss definitely told him. simon didn't even know under eye circles could get that dark.
"i thought so," simon spoke up, taking the silence as an answer. "we're all worried, vik. we care for you, and we hate knowing that you're hurting. we're all going out to this club jj stumbled across the other night, and you're coming with. a night out will do you good."
vik shot simon a look. a club, really? that's what they think will help? the lads very well knew vik can't handle alcohol. that's why he hardly goes out to clubs, and whenever he does, he's a designated driver. even if he could handle alcohol, clubs aren't really his scene. the huge crowds and deafening music aren't really his idea of a fun time. he's said this on more than one occasion. the knowledge is well known among everyone. so why, of all things, is this what they want him to do?
vik rubbed his face tiredly as he tried to understand. "you lot think a club will help me? are you being serious right now?"
"look, i know clubs aren't really your scene, but give it a chance. tobi and i are going to be the designated drivers tonight. have a few, dance a bit. at least give it a try," simon pleaded.
vik looked at simon again. after a few quiet moments, vik quietly gave in. simon cheered, and happily told vik they'd be leaving in twenty before running into the hall, excited to announce vik would be coming. vik knew he'd regret this—he hasn't even left his room yet and he already does—but a small part of him is hopeful. maybe it actually will help. as simon pointed out, sitting in his room isn't doing him much good. maybe getting out and trying something new will.
as it turns out, doing something new does absolutely fuck all.
maybe it's because he's already in a bad mood, but vik has only been here for twenty minutes, and he's incredibly tempted to call himself a taxi, since no one will fucking take him home. his head is pounding, and he's getting real sick of people bumping into him. he's nearly had two drinks spilled on him. clubbing still isn't his thing, but no one really seems to care.
"c'mon, vik star, have something to drink," an intoxicated ethan offers, giggling as he holds out a red cup.
vik's brows furrow as he scrunches up his nose and shakes his head. "i'll pass, thanks."
"c'mooooon," ethan whines, pushing it in his face. "i bought it specifically for you."
"ethan, you know i don't drink," vik reminds him, frowning.
"vik won't drink because he's a little bitch," a very drunk jj states, stumbling into ethan.
"i-i am not a little bitch," vik argues, "i just don't handle alcohol very well."
"because you're a little bitch," jj repeats, snorting. "that's just an excuse. you hardly ever drink. if you actually started, you'd build up a tolerance."
"that's true," ethan agrees, nodding. "plus, you'll have a lot more fun. c'mon, just one cup. a cup won't hurt ya."
vik frowns as he looks between them, feeling his heart pound. he doesn't want to do this, he really doesn't want to do this, but vik has never been good under pressure. and maybe they're right. his mates wouldn't steer him in the wrong direction, would they? besides, what's he got to lose? maybe it'll finally take his mind off of everything. giving a slight shrug, and a hesitant smile, vik takes the cup from ethan. the action causes ethan and jj to cheer. this encourages vik, who takes a small sip. the liquid burns his throat instantly, and he coughs, but ethan and jj cheer some more, and vik suddenly craves the validation. it'll stop burning eventually, right?
simon frowned as he watched vik.
cup after cup, vik drank the alcohol as if it was water. after only a few cups, simon noticed the way it was affecting vik. vik seemed to be having a well enough time with jj and ethan, so he kept his distance, but he never went very far. simon didn't feel right not keeping an eye on him. simon loved his friends, but drunk ethan and jj were not very good influences. this was obviously clear now, as they encourage vik to drink more and more.
when vik suddenly dropped his cup, a look of panic washing over him, simon had a bad feeling. vik began pushing through the people, knowing what was coming. he was just surprised it hadn't happened sooner. he shoved the door to the toilet open, quickly running into a cubicle and bending over the toilet. as vik emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet, he heard the door open and a few moments later felt a hand on his back.
"it's okay," simon said gently, rubbing vik's back.
once vik is finished, he slumps over, leaning against the cubicle's wall for support. simon fetches a damp paper towel and cleans up vik's mouth, frowning as he looks at the lad. it's clear to simon that vik has been pushed well beyond his limits. when vik suddenly jumps up, heaving into the toilet once more, simon makes the decision to take vik home. he has had more than enough. simon rubs his back again as he pulls out his phone, texting tobi and informing him of his decision.
"c'mon, vik, let's take you home," simon says quietly as he helps vik to his feet, once his finishes getting sick.
vik tries to protest, but the way he can barely form a sentence, and how badly he struggles to stay on his feet, only solidifies simon's decision. though vik verbally protests, he makes no physical effort to fight the taller lad. he, instead, leans fully into him, a part of him really enjoying the physical contact. vik hasn't had any for a week. and, as someone who is incredibly needy for physical contact, it's been hell.
as simon and vik exit the club, vik's phone begins going off, text after text flooding his phone. he separates himself from simon, a sudden hopefulness flooding him. of course, since vik is drunk, he is stupidly confident. and, this newfound confidence has led him to do the dumbest thing he could do. as he unlocks his phone—god bless touch identification—he begins trying to read the messages, which proves to be difficult.
"who is messaging you at a time like this?" simon inquires, glancing at his own phone. it's a little after two in the morning.
"k-kayleigh," vik mumbles, trying to decipher the alphabet soup on his screen.
simon groans as he snatches vik's phone. he worried vik would text her. of course he did. ethan and jj probably encouraged that, as well. the little fucks. he loves them to death, but they become incredibly stupid when they're under the influence. vik whines when his phone is suddenly removed from his hands, and tries to take it back, but simon holds it above his head. vik, being significantly shorter than simon, has no chance at reaching it.
"simon, give it back," vik demands, stumbling as he tries to push the taller lad.
"not a chance," simon replies, leading vik to his car.
"she's probably waiting for a response," vik argues, slurring his words.
"she can continue to wait. in fact, she can wait forever. you've got to stop texting her," simon states firmly as he helps vik into the passenger seat and buckles him up.
"why would i do that? i love her," vik says as simon climbs into the driver's side.
simon freezes. he blinks a few times, then buckles up himself and starts the car. he says nothing as he pulls out of the club and begins heading back to the sidemen house. vik rambles on, bouncing between topics such as kayleigh, alcohol, and koalas. simon isn't even sure how that last topic comes about, but he doesn't question it. none of vik's random topics throw him off, until they're in the house, removing their shoes and jackets.
"you're cute, simon, did you know that?" vik says suddenly, catching simon off gaurd.
"i, um, well, i have been told that before," simon states slowly, giving his mate a quizzical look.
"you're really cute," vik repeats. he reaches up and touches simon's face gently, which simon immediately moves back from, his eyes wide.
"look, um, you're really drunk," simon says, flustered and confused by the sudden affection.
"that doesn't mean anything," vik dismisses, leaning into simon as he looks up at him with admiration.
"that means a lot, actually," simon argues, gently pushing him away. "let's get you to bed, yeah?"
vik giggles at this, and simon's brow furrows as he leads the shorter lad to his room. simon never would have expected this. he doesn't necessarily have a problem with it—he's had a few boyfriends before, he doesn't mind male attention—it's just more unexpected, than anything. simon suspects that it's because vik is drunk off his arse, and looking for someone to fill kayleigh's place. and seeing as simon has been the most persistent one in comforting vik, vik must be confusing the comfort with attraction.
not that vik isn't attractive. not that simon hasn't been crushing on vik for a while now. but he's one of simon's best friends, they live in the same house, something like that could get very weird very fast. plus, vik isn't really in the best place for something like that right now. he's vulnerable, in more ways than one. vik doesn't like simon, he's just lonely.
as simon helped vik into bed, vik continued to drunkenly flirt with the blond. simon has always been so nice to vik. whenever the other lads were really having a go at him, simon would stand up for him. vik always went to simon when he was having problems with kayleigh, because simon genuinely listened, and tried his best to help. when kayleigh broke up with him, simon was the most persistent in comforting vik. he didn't give up, no matter how frustrating vik was. while it annoyed vik then, he couldn't help but feel a wave of admiration for simon. who needed kayleigh, when he had such an amazing soul right in his own home?
"simon, don't leave me," vik pleaded when the lad tried to leave the room.
"vik..." simon trailed hesitantly
"please. please, just stay for a bit." vik didn't want to be left alone. he's in such a good mood. if he's by himself for too long, it may fade away, and he doesn't want that, not yet.
"vik, i don't know if that's a good idea," simon admitted. it's clear that vik is confused right now, and extremely under the influence. he doesn't want vik to do something he'll regret.
"c'mon, just—" vik hiccuped as he sat up and patted the bed beside him "—take a seat. just for a bit."
simon stood by the door, hand on the knob as he thought. is this a bad idea? should he just leave? the pleading look on vik's face tugged at his heart, and simon dropped his hand with a sigh as he returned to the bed. he sat where vik had been patting, causing a grin to spread across his face. it only lasted a moment, though, as the short distance between them suddenly felt like miles. suddenly, vik desperately craved the feeling of simon's arms on him once more.
"come sit next to me," vik asked, patting the spot right next to him.
"ah, i think i'm good here, thanks," simon declined politely.
"why? you don't like me enough to sit beside me?" for some reason, vik took the rejection extremely personally.
"no, no!" simon immediately argued, his eyes widening. "not at all, i just—"
"no, i get it," vik interrupted, feeling a wave of hurt flood over him. "i get it. just leave then."
the look on his face broke simon's heart. feeling like he was making a mistake, simon maneuvered to the top of the bed, beside vik. vik smiled as he leaned into simon, and the latter stiffened. he knew he made a mistake. he didn't know what to do. should he push him off? what if vik gets upset again? simon doesn't want to take advantage of the situation, but he doesn't want to upset vik, either.
"c'mon, si, put your arm around me," vik asks, looking up at simon with big eyes.
"ah..." simon can feel his heart pounding in his ears. he can hear the imaginary alarm going off. this is wrong. he most definitely shouldn't do that.
"siii," vik whines persistently.
"vik, i don't know if i should do that. you're drunk."
"i know i'm drunk. it's not like i'm asking you to kiss me," vik pauses, his eyes twinkling, "though you certainly can if you want."
"woah," simon murmurs, taken back by vik's boldness. he would never be like this sober.
"c'mon. this isn't bad. it's just a little cuddling. it's innocent," vik explains. when simon still seems hesitant, vik's smile falls. "please," vik asks, his voice much quieter. "i miss the feeling. i need it."
simon looks down at vik, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. though he would love nothing more than to cuddle vik, he can't help but feel wrong. he feels like it would be taking advantage of the lad. though vik has a point, it's not like he's kissing him or anything. it's just cuddling. it's innocent.
hesitantly, simon lifts his arm and wraps it around vik. vik happily snuggles into the taller lad's side, laying his head on his chest as his arm drapes across simon's waist. simon feels like his heart may explode out of his chest. he looks down at vik, noticing his eyes are shut. gently, he maneuvers them so simon is laying on his back, and vik is on his side, still cuddling into simon. vik moves a leg onto simon's and rubs his face into simon's chest before becoming still. his breath evens out, and after a few moments, simon knows he's asleep.
simon feels his eyelids grow heavy, though the way his heart pounds keeps him from falling asleep. he can't stop worrying if this is wrong. maybe he'll just wait a few more minutes, then leave once he's sure vik is fully asleep. he doesn't want to take advantage of his friend. though simon wants nothing more than to stay like this forever, he can't stop worrying that if he stays, come morning, vik will regret this, and it'll make things weird between them. simon doesn't think he could handle that. a small part of him doesn't think vik could, either.
but vik's body is so warm, and the feeling of being cuddled is so nice, and his bed is so comfortable...simon can't stop himself from closing his eyes and falling peacefully asleep. he unconsciously pulls vik closer, snuggling into the smaller lad. it's something they'll have to deal with come morning, but for now, they'll just enjoy each other. for now, everything will be okay.