Work Text:
From: Connor
To: Evan
hey lover
From: Evan
To: Connor
that’s gay, connor.
From: Connor
To: Evan
*loser
wanna hang out?
From: Evan
To: Connor
you never want to hang out.
From: Connor
To: Evan
so? i wanna hang out today
From: Evan
To: Connor
okay, let’s hang out. where do you want to go?
From: Connor
To: Evan
wherever we end up
From: Evan
To: Connor
that makes me nervous. we’re going to the orchard.
From: Connor
To: Evan
that sucks dude
From: Evan
To: Connor
no it doesn’t! trees!!!!!
From: Connor
To: Evan
okay evan. i’ll pick you up in 10, yeah?
From: Evan
To: Connor
yes. ten minutes exactly.
From: Connor
To: Evan
yeah yeah whatever
see you soon my gay
*my guy
From: Evan
To: Connor
;)
-xXx-
Evan was waiting at his door when Connor’s car pulled up outside his house. He took a deep breath, taking his time. He knew Connor wasn’t going to come inside because Evan never let him come inside. He didn’t want Connor to see his meds, or the takeout boxes on every surface, or realise just how alone he actually was.
Eventually, Evan stepped outside. He felt more comfortable now that he could see Connor, but he was still nervous around the boy. They’d only recently started going out in public rather than just emailing, so Evan wasn’t used to being with Connor just yet, but he did feel at ease with him. It was a difficult feeling to explain, so he never tried.
They talked a little on the drive to the orchard before Connor pulled up outside some ice cream place. He explained that he used to go there with his family and get a white chocolate chip cone with sprinkles every time.
They walked the rest of the way. It wasn’t far, and they couldn’t really get much closer in the car since the place had shut down. The climbed through a gap in the fence and found a spot in the open field, looking over at the trees.
“I like it here,” Evan mumbled once they had been sat down for a while. He shuffled closer to Connor and rested his head on the other’s shoulder. “It’s calm, isn’t it?”
Connor just nodded and hummed, draping an arm around Evan and ignoring the ache in his stomach that made him want to laugh and cry at the same time.
Connor hadn’t been paying attention to how long that good ache had been there, but whenever Evan was around was when he could feel it most. He wondered if Evan had the same ache in his own stomach.
-xXx-
“Hey, Connor?” Evan asked, swinging his legs from the branch where he was sat at the top of the tree, looking down through the branches and trying to calculate how far down it actually was.
Connor looked over at him, a subtle smile on his face. “Hm?”
“What do you think would happen if I fell?” he asked, leaning over a little more, his hands gripping the branch he perched on so tightly that his knuckles were white. He heard Connor chuckle beside him and he relaxed. Hearing Connor laugh was rare. It was like Christmas and summer and ice cream and rain and holding hands.
“You’d probably die,” he joked, wrapping an arm around Evan’s waist. “Don’t worry though. I got you. Won’t let you fall.” His voice was softer now, and Evan felt like it was okay to let go.
“Would you forgive me?”
“What?”
“If I fell. Would you forgive me?”
“Sure.”
“Do you like me?”
“Sure.”
“Do you like me like that?”
“Sure.”
“Will you kiss me?”
A pause.
“Sure.”
-xXx-
Connor couldn’t understand how he’d gone from kissing Evan Hansen in a tree to climbing to the bottom as fast as he could, his heart beating out of his chest as he screamed Evan’s name.
Evan was barely there. He could hear Connor’s voice, but he couldn’t respond. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to. He just laid there with tears on his cheeks and nothing was okay. Connor’s boots landed on the grass in from of him and then he had hands in his hair and on his face and a gentle voice in his ear and everything was okay.
Somehow, Connor had managed to get Evan up off the ground, across the field and all the way back to the car without him actually passing out from the pain. He drove Evan to the hospital and stayed until he spotted Heidi. After that, he disappeared.
-xXx-
From: Connor
To: Evan
how’re you doing loser?
From: Evan
To: Connor
sleepy and sore :(
From: Connor
To: Evan
anyone signed your cast yet?
From: Evan
To: Connor
what do you think?
From: Connor
To: Evan
i’ll sign it
From: Evan
To: Connor
thank you
From: Connor
To: Evan
dude i’m signing your cast
that’s no reason to thank me
From: Evan
To: Connor
not for that
From: Connor
To: Evan
don’t be getting yourself hurt again
scared the shit outta me
From: Evan
To: Connor
aww you’re worried about me
From: Connor
To: Evan
shut up
From: Evan
To: Connor
it’s cute
From: Connor
To: Evan
i’m not cute im badass
From: Evan
To: Connor
you can be both
-xXx-
From: Evan
To: Connor
they’re lying right?
From: Evan
To: Connor
they told me you died
From: Evan
To: Connor
it’s not true though
From: Evan
To: Connor
connor
From: Evan
To: Connor
you gotta stop playing jokes on me
From: Evan
To: Connor
it’s not funny
From: Evan
To: Connor
connor please
From: Evan
To: Connor
i only feel okay when i'm with you and my stomach aches in the best way and i love you connor i love you and you can't be dead because i need to tell you that i love you and you need to hear it
From: Connor
To: Evan
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