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“I heard there could be black ice out there.”
That was the part that finally made Adam agree to go looking for Ronan after his shift ended. Gansey would do it himself, he had lamented, but he was in DC for Christmas break. A slew of other reasons had been thrown out, Kavinsky’s bad influence, alcohol, speeding tickets, jail time, but it was the idea of the ice that had him out there searching the streets.
Adam had seen a quick mental image of each of Gansey’s woes. He saw Ronan spending the night in a cell, his eyes like a wild animal. He saw Kavinsky whispering into his ear, both boys smiling their dangerous smiles. He saw him passed out, waking up cold, sick, and a little confused.
He saw him spinning out right at the end of a race, the last shift of it, the smile before the crash.
Maybe everyone had heard about the ice. Maybe all of the reckless youth of Henrietta had decided to stay in tonight. The streets are empty as Adam peddles quickly in a zigzagged pattern from Boyd’s towards the trailer park. No squealing tires, just the wet sound of his tires on the pavement. His fingers are freezing in his gloves and his muscles hurt in the way that only sleep can fix. He should just go home. He should just let Ronan get into whatever trouble he was going to get into.
A fork in the road. Straight on this road and he’d be home in about fifteen minutes with time to get into bed with the door locked before his father got home from the bars. He turns instead. He has one last place to check before the image of the BMW hitting the invisible ice will leave him.
Adam leans his bike against the chain link fence. The temperature is dropping but beyond the gates the whole world looks red. Music pounds in his ribs and the middle of the crowd beams like a flare. Actually, it very well might be flares. Cars shield most of the debauchery from his sight until he stands right on the edge of it, feeling the heat and bass and hoping desperately that Ronan will just see him and come over on his own. Adam might not have been to church, but he knew that this mess of bodies and sleek cars looked like hell. He sighs and walks in.
He flutters his fingers against the cool sides of the cars as he goes, grounding himself. Glittering girls in too-few clothes touch his arms as they pass, grinning, eyes hazed with whatever party favors Kavinsky had brought this time. Lean and sinewy boys with the same dangerous smiles as Ronan step in front of him, hands on his chest, a bottle in offering, an appraising look. He begins to feel warmer, the deeper in he descends. He scans the crowd, scans the cars for the BMW, the white Mitsubishi.
Next to the bonfire, bottle of something in hand, there he is. Eyes closed, fingers closed on the neck of the bottle as he dances. Prokopenko dances behind him, a hand resting on Ronan’s hip. Someone touches Adam’s back and he jumps, feeling embarrassed as he watches the two move. Ronan’s skin glinting in the firelight as his muscles move under his sleeveless shirt that’s been cut too low at the arms, exposing most of his sides. Adam wants to cut Prokopenko’s hand off.
Adam snaps out of it as Kavinsky saunters over with a grin. He tips Ronan’s chin up with a single finger and offers him something small. Instead of taking it from his hands, Ronan opens his mouth to receive the pill like communion. Adam steps forward but stops himself as Ronan closes his mouth and swallows it, taking a swig from his bottle to wash it down. Kavinsky fits himself up against Ronan, hands on his sides, grazing against his skin. They move together, Kavinsky’s smile makes Adam uncomfortable. It reminds him of every over-done literary symbol. Cat that got the canary. Wolf. He pulls Ronan’s hips closer to his, moving more deliberately. Adam’s face flushes as Ronan closes his eyes and sucks in a breath. Kavinsky says something into Ronan’s ear that makes him lick his lips.
Adam’s moving before he has a plan. He’s heard plenty about Kavinsky. About how Ronan loses whatever it was that makes Gansey love him when he’s around this dealing, dangerous, alcoholic, drug-addicted-
“Hey asshole, everyone’s worried about you and you can’t even pick up your phone?”
Ronan blinks at Adam as if he’s coming out of a daze. Kavinsky shoves him in the shoulder, hard. Adam staggers back a step.
“Tell Dick he doesn’t need to worry. Ronan’s being taken care of.”
Adam grabs Kavinsky by his shirt and pressed his face as close as he dares. “Do not fuck with me.”
Kavinsky laughs, head thrown back like a howl. Adam drops him.
“We need to leave. I have work in the morning.” Adam says.
“Fuck off.” Ronan tells him, taking another drink. “I didn’t ask you to come looking for me.”
“No, Gansey did.”
“I can take care of myself.”
Adam looks around. “Clearly.”
Ronan sneers.
“I don’t know why he tries. I honestly-“ He cuts himself off, pulling at his hair. He needs to get home before his father. “What does he know that I don’t?”
“Beats the hell out of me.”
Kavinsky is touching Ronan again, running a hand over his shoulders, clutching at his belt loops.
“We are leaving.”
“I’m fine here.”
Adam steps closer and takes the bottle from his hand, tossing it to the ground. Kavinsky is behind Adam, then, leaning his head on his shoulder, lips too close to skin. Adam wants to jerk away. Ronan’s eyes narrow.
“Stay, take some of that edge off. Dance.” He moves forward, moving Adam along with him, closer to Ronan. He puts his hands out to brace himself before hitting up against Ronan, who grabs him by the arms.
“K, fuck off. Leave him alone.”
“Dick’s gonna be jeeaaalous.”
Adam is having trouble with reality. He’s burning up but he’s next to a fire and there are tons of people so it can’t be because Ronan is running his thumbs up and down his arms subconsciously as he glares dagger’s into Kavinsky. The bass is obnoxious and he can feel it pounding inside of his body, it’s not his heartbeat. It’s not because Ronan smells like leather and liquor and fire. It’s not because his skin is just a bit damp or because Adam’s replaying the way he licked his lips. He isn’t thinking about whether or not he could elicit the same reactions.
“We’re leaving.” Adam tries again.
Ronan nods.
“See you next weekend?” Kavinsky asks with a grin like he knows he will.
Ronan keeps his grip on Adam’s arm and leads him towards the BMW.
“You need to drive.” He says, opening the passenger door and letting himself slip inside while tossing the keys to Adam.
“I need to put my bike in your trunk.” Adam tells him.
“Whatever.”
Adam rolls his eyes and grinds his teeth.
On the road, the silence is almost deafening enough to make Adam turn on one of Ronan’s questionable playlists. The car feels too small, he’s too tired, he’s too sore, he’s too old to do things like this, considerably older than his peers who get to have childhoods and fuck around.
“Why did you come?”
“Gansey asked me to.”
Ronan nods. “You could have just said you looked for me.”
“I could have.”
His anger is boiling under the surface. Ronan Lynch and his fucking privileged life. The car, the money, the advantages that have just been handed to him for what? For him to go waste it all? So he can get himself killed racing?
“What’s the point of having a phone that costs more than some people get paychecks for if you won’t use it?” Adam asks, letting just enough of his anger out to release some of the stress.
Ronan snorts and leans his head against the seat.
“There was black ice. Gansey said he heard there was black ice out here tonight. He knew you’d be racing.”
He can feel Ronan looking at him. Adam’s cheeks feel hot, he feels caught though he isn’t sure what he’s being caught at.
“Are you going to be in trouble?”
The light is red and Adam runs a hand over his face. He’s too tired to lie. He knows Ronan sees the bruises just like Gansey does. He isn’t stupid, no matter how dumb he acts most of the time.
“If I can beat him home then no.”
Ronan turns on his music but keeps it low. He also flips on the seat warmer, grinning when Adam’s body seems to relax into the seat.
His father’s truck isn’t in the drive way and Adam offers up a little thank you to the universe.
“Get inside, Parrish.”
“You’ll be fine to drive home?”
“Not my first rodeo.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Get inside, unless you’d like to see me get arrested tonight.”
Adam leaves the keys in the ignition and steps out into the cold air. The stars are all out tonight and he can’t help but feel like they are aligning themselves for something. Something is starting, something is coming together.
“Parrish?” Ronan says as he gets into the drivers seat. “I’ll keep my phone on me tonight. Volume up and everything.”
He understands the offer. He smiles, just a bit before heading to his door.
“Hey!” Ronan yells. “Get your shitty bike out of my trunk.”
Nice while it lasted, Adam thinks, trudging back up to the car as the song that haunts his dreams starts to seep from Ronan’s speakers.
****
Adam steps out into the chilly morning, hoping the coffee will keep him warm for most of his ride in. As the door closes behind him, he sees the BMW in the lot. Ronan rolls down the window. “It’s cold as balls out here, no way in hell you’re riding that piece of shit to work.”
The car is warm and smells like leaves and leather. Ronan is wearing the same clothes from the night before. There is frost on his window.
“Did you sleep here?”
Ronan doesn’t answer, just turns up the music and skids out onto the road but now Adam can see it. He can see what Gansey sees in him.