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“We need people, now more than ever. I know that his methods have been considered disagreeable by many but if he’s still alive, we need to try.”
“I understand Mon,” murmured Hera as she stared at the holo. “We’ll do what we can.”
“Thank you Hera. I’m sending you the coordinates now. May the Force be with you.”
“May the Force be with you,” repeated Hera before the transmission ended. She looked at the coordinates that came through and noted that a jump would take around two days. “Chopper, we’re headed for Jedha.”
The droid beeped and whirred at her. His tone was a bit patronizing but he had a point.
“I know. I’ll talk to him now. Just get our course changed. Alright?”
Chopper must have processed the uncertainty and tiredness in her voice because he just gave a reassuring chirp before rolling to the port. Hera got up and headed out of the cabin, uncertainty swirling through her mind as she headed into the lounge. She wasn’t sure how Kallus would take it, how he would react. He certainly wasn’t as brash as Ezra or Zeb could be but that didn’t mean this wouldn’t be difficult for him.
After departing from Yavin 4, Kallus being given a temporary pardon (something which would be reviewed again after the war) and his assignment (to the Ghost), he had proved to be an invaluable companion. Sure, it had been a bit strange but honestly the weirdness of it all had worn off after the first few interactions when he was Fulcrum. Now he truly was a part of their crew and she cared not only about how he could damage their new mission but also how this mission could damage him.
Currently it was just her, Chopper, Kallus, Zeb, and Rex on board. Sabine was still working with her clan, the most recent development being promising as they had succeeded in a recent offensive front. Kanan and Ezra were momentarily gone due to a Jedi-centric mission and Rex was with them as their recent cargo run had been through a familiar space route of his. The plan had been to go straight back to Yavin 4 and to recharge before their next mission but clearly that wasn’t going to happen.
Now Kallus and Zeb sat listening to one of Rex’s old war stories. Zeb complained that he’d already heard them all though it was more for show and he did find them pretty entertaining, certainly better than Ezra’s bad jokes. Kallus was utterly enraptured by them though. After all, he had been born on Coruscant and lived through the Clone Wars, though due to being only a teen he’d been unable to do much except watch on the holonet.
Sitting there now, Kallus resembled little of the Imperial that they had first run into so long ago. His hair was the same style but other than that he was utterly different. There were of course the real obvious changes, the jacket and scarf and belt and shirt and pants and boots and all that. There was also that glowing rock that always hung around his neck, a sliver of some meteorite that held some importance between him and Zeb if Hera remembered correctly. But most importantly were his smiles. He smiled a lot more now and not of malice. He seemed happy, something which Hera suspected Kallus hadn’t expected either.
And now she was going to wipe that smile away. Now she was going to bring that bitterness back to the forefront. She wasn’t looking forward to it.
“Hera,” Rex greeted as she came forward and sat down. “I was just about to go look for you. Felt like we changed course.”
She chuckled, not surprised that the old clone had felt the change. Whereas half his life had been in a battle field the other half had arguably been stuck in some ship. “Yes, that’s what I came to talk to you about. We’ve got a new mission.”
“Karabast. Already?” asked Zeb.
Hera nodded. “It’s somewhat in our route back to Yavin 4 so it made since for us to take it. And…Kal I am sorry. If you want to stay on the ship during it, I won’t argue with you.”
His brow creased as he tried to wrack his brain, tried to understand why Hera would say such a thing. “What’s our mission?”
“We’re going to look for Saw Gerrera.”
Rex’s eyes widened in surprise while Zeb warily looked to his left. Kallus simply sat there, eyes distant and lost in momentary horror. Hera rested a hand over his and though his immediate reaction was to flinch, he relaxed into the contact after a moment of understanding.
“What do we know so far?” asked Kallus, his voice surprisingly calm. His eyes betrayed him though, not with some irrational want for revenge like Hera feared but with uncertainty and pain which was in a way worse.
“Well…Rex already knows this but I don’t think you’ve been briefed on the situation Zeb,” Hera replied. “Since the move to Yavin 4 and the official formation of the Alliance, Gerrera hasn’t been the most…cooperative person. Granted, he’s never been but he is useful. He’s a good strategist, a good fighter, but he’s been missing for the last two standard weeks.”
“Missing? Did he finally get tired of us?” growled Zeb. “He always was talking about how the rebellion wasn’t doing enough.”
“No one knows and that’s what we’ll hopefully find out, maybe even bring him back,” Hera said.
Rex snorted at the thought, mind going back to their last encounter and the Clone Wars. “Fat chance we’ll be able to make Saw do anything he doesn’t already want to do. But then, we don’t know why he went AWOL. Whether he’s left the Alliance or not, his reasoning could be important.”
“Yeah, and it’s probably a good idea to keep an eye on those that know where we’re hiding out,” grumbled Zeb. His irritation turned back to a look of wariness though as Kallus spoke up.
“Why did you suggest I stay behind?”
“I’m not trying to put you down in anyway,” Hera quickly said, her hand going back to his and squeezing. “But what with your past with him…I can understand if you want to distance yourself from this.”
“It would be easy to just blame him, to hate him and be done with it,” murmured Kallus, glancing at the table before focusing on her again. “But I don’t know the full story. I…I blame him, that Lasat for the senseless slaughter of my troops.” Kallus stopped, a shudder traveling through him. “But I can’t pass that blame to Gerrera, not now. That being said I don’t…hold him in the same high regards that you might. I’ll go with you, not because I particularly like the idea of involving him but because I know what he and his men are capable of. It’s not that I don’t trust your judgment, but I can’t stand by if there’s even a sliver of a possibility that he might turn on you.”
Kallus closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. He had said more than he’d meant to and though the speech had been short, he felt an incredible amount of exhaustion after it. He opened his eyes though upon feeling Zeb ruffle his hair.
“That’s cute. You thinking I need protection.”
Kallus rolled his eyes, knowing full well what Zeb was trying to do. The distraction was appreciated and he chuckled in response. His eyes turned back to Hera and he gave a definitive nod. “I’ll go with you.”
She nodded, her thanks and admiration conveyed to him in her eyes as she said, “Then I guess I’ll brief you, though the information isn’t much. It seems that members of Gerrera’s troop have been spotted in Jedha, specifically around Jedha City. Not only that but Imperial forces seem to be growing on the planet. Other than that though, we have no idea what’s happening down there and no idea if Gerrera is really there as well. We’re to spend three days there max. If we find something that could take us elsewhere, then we follow that line of information but if we find nothing then we’re to report back to Yavin 4. No point in wasting time.”
They all nodded before Zeb added, “When will we arrive?”
“In about two days so at least we’ll get one full night’s rest,” Hera said. “That’s all I have though.”
“Well, in that case how about dinner?” asked Rex. “We can go over our records on Jedha while we do so.”
“Sounds like a plan,” agreed Hera and the four did just that, Chopper joining in as he sometimes pointed out important information or just annoyed Zeb and Kallus.
Hera had to admit that it had gone better than expected and she was happy that Kallus was choosing to stick by them (and not out of anger or bitterness). Still, a sour feeling rested over her as she thought of the mission and wondered exactly how successful it would be.
Kallus tucked his necklace underneath his shirt as he pulled his hood up and his scarf over his mouth before stepping onto the desert planet. It made since to cover up due to the growing Imperial presence but also due to the harsh sun and Kallus’ light skin. But then, the risk of being burnt to a crisp was still next to nothing seeing as the damn place was utterly freezing.
Not that a warm desert would have been much better but god did it have to be so damn bright and freezing? Even Zeb had a more complete outfit on.
Chopper was instructed to stay behind, something which the little droid was not happy about but ultimately complied to when Hera reminded him how much he hated sand in his circuits.
They agreed on a time to meet back up together before splitting into two, Hera and Rex, and then Kallus and Zeb. They went around, took in the local population, asked questions, interacted with a few of the chattier people. Kallus made sure to focus on that, this new environment, on finding Gerrera rather than thinking on the past.
It was difficult but he just had to remind himself why he was out there. He was watching Zeb’s back, keeping Hera and Rex safe. And if Gerrera could help their cause then Kallus would help bring him back, no matter what he had sanctioned beforehand. Kallus couldn’t immediately discriminate against him. After how fair and kind the Alliance had treated him, it would have been hypocritical to just throw Gerrera into a labeled box and leave it at that.
He kept all those thoughts in mind, a constant loop as the day gave them little to work on. When the temperature started dropping even more once night neared, they headed back to the ship and went into greater detail on everything they hadn’t found. Everyone was frustrated but Kallus was silently grateful as well, at least postponing the possible meeting for now.
The next day turned out to be more promising though as Hera and Rex got wind of some abandoned Jedi temple and how there had recently been reports of activity there despite the fact the Empire had ransacked it years ago. They decided to go check into it as Kallus and Zeb still focused on the City and its surrounding areas for the next few hours before Hera and Rex reported in.
Only they didn’t report in.
As both Zeb and Kallus tried to rationalize why they hadn’t contacted them, they chose to head back to the Ghost and figure out their next move, whether to wait or go after them.
They never made it.
Zeb woke with a stinging headache as his shoulders screamed at him to move. He quickly realized why, his arms binded and chained to the ceiling. He forced his feet under him, finally relieving his shoulders of his own weight. A quick look around told him that his family was there, chained but alive at least. Hera was awake too and from the look on her face it wasn’t good.
“Karabast, what the hell have we gotten into now.”
“Gerrera,” she murmured, her voice floating across the empty cell.
“What the hell do you mean Gerrera?”
“I mean he…I don’t know Zeb. But he’s not the man we encountered on Geonosia.”
“What the hell do you mean? Why does he have us locked up?”
“He doesn’t trust the Alliance. He was…he was going on about how they’d end up being just as bad as the Empire or….or something just as crazy sounding.” Hera’s entire body shuddered and Zeb finally took in the wounds on her person.
Suddenly he was yanking at his chains as hard as possible. “I’ll kriffing kill him! I’ll—”
“You say you come as friends yet your response is violence.”
Zeb’s head whipped towards the door as he caught sight of Saw. His eyes widened in shock, taking in the breathing machine, the lost limbs. At first rage had simply ruled him upon seeing Hera hurt but now he truly thought on her words. This wasn’t the man Zeb had met on Geonosia.
“You are to be my messengers,” Saw said, his voice off sounding and broken. “You will inform the Alliance that I will have no part in their watered down rebellion.”
“But why?” begged Hera. “We’re finally making ground! We’re going to—”
“Not enough! Lies and shady politicians!” cried Saw. “You are no better than the Empire. The only reason I do not kill you now is to dissuade any further presence. We, here, will make a difference. You cannot.”
“Saw…” the groan came from Rex who was just coming to. “What the hell happened to you?”
“An epiphany my old friend. A realization that the Alliance cannot bring about the end of the Empire!” Saw yelled out just as one of his men came in. He walked over to Kallus, unlocking his chains before suddenly shocking him awake with a baton. Saw continued however. “You will be freed and you will be taken back to your ship and you will spread this message! That is all you can do to help me now.”
Rex tried though. “What about your sister—”
“She died because others weren’t willing to take an initiative! I am! I will—”
“Get off me!” Kallus yelled, trying to get out of the hands of Saw’s man. However, his brain was addled, body weakened by just being forced awake.
Saw nodded at his man and when he began to be dragged off, Zeb fought even harder. “You just said you were freeing us! What are you doing with him?”
“It would seem he has old scores to settle here. We shall keep him. But you will go.”
“No!” yelled Hera. “We came together and we leave together! You can’t just—”
“Do not question me! I said my peace. You will warn the Alliance that our agreements have broken and you will not come back,” Saw hissed, turning away and walking out of the room with jerking motions and the loud sound of metal.
“We can’t let him do this,” growled out Zeb the moment he was gone.
“He meant the Lasat right? The one who killed his men,” Rex added in reference to the ‘old scores’.
“Who else?” Hera shot back. “And no, we’re not leaving him. We can’t.”
“In that case, don’t go bounding off the moment we’re out of these cuffs Zeb,” Rex quickly put in. “We don’t know how many of them there are or how to get out. We need that info before we go after Kallus.”
“And what if Kallus doesn’t have that kind of time?” growled out Zeb.
Hera winced at the image. How could this have gone so horribly wrong so quickly? And what could have happened to Saw? Clearly it had broken what was once rational and good and it broke Hera to think about it. However, there was no way to help Saw, at least not at that moment. Kallus was who she could help and she would. She wasn’t going to have him die like this, not after everything that had happened between them.
Zeb was thinking the same thing only his anger over it all was growing tenfold. Each minute that passed could mean Kallus was in even more danger, even closer to death. And when someone came to take them back to their ship? Well Zeb threw away Rex’s suggestion and knocked the man out without a second’s thought.
“You two work on getting out. I’ll get Kallus,” growled Zeb. He took the man’s blaster and threw it to Rex before grabbing the man’s staff.
Moving out of their cell and into the hall, Zeb focused on dispatching as many men as quickly as possible before rushing to the next room. When he came across his borifle, he quickly replaced it for the staff and continued on. These people were radicals, had to be crazy to follow the man that Saw had become. Because of that, Zeb didn’t try to force information out of them. The endeavor would have been pointless. Instead he just kept moving through the ruins, eventually running onto a balcony and out into the night.
Below him was a courtyard of sorts and his eyes immediately lighted upon Kallus as he was thrown to the ground.
“Because I wanted to. What better reason than that?” asked the Lasat that towered over Kallus, obviously responding to some question.
Kallus was already hurt, a black spot spreading over his pants in the moonlight. Clearly the Lasat had spotted Kallus’ weakened leg and had focused his attack on that. Because of it, the Lasat easily forced Kallus’ head to the sandy ground. However, Kallus still managed to put all his venom and anger into his voice as he yelled back, “They couldn’t even defend themselves!”
“So? It’s more fun that way. Giving them a fighting chance, it gives them hope, ruins the experience,” the Lasat responded. “After all, you’ve never heard a true scream until someone knows that there is no hope.”
“Then why leave me alive!”
And the Lasat laughed, low and dark. “Because the only thing better than a good scream is seeing pure rage and then snuffing it out and oh, has your rage been boiling.”
Zeb had listened longer than he’d intended but upon seeing the raised knife, he acted immediately. Clipping his borifle to his back, he jumped from the balcony and landed on the Lasat hard. Right away he let fists fly, using the surprise attack to his advantage. Regardless of the shock Kallus must have felt, he acted immediately as well, moving despite his injuries as he joined the fight and wrestled the blade out of the Lasat’s hand.
And then the Lasat had the audacity to laugh at the situation, didn’t even look the slightest bit scared.
“Do it then.”
And Kallus shook in response. He shook in rage and fear as he held the knife and thought about it, thought about ending it after so long. But then he looked to Zeb and saw what he had become and all that he had left behind. He wouldn’t become the monster of before. Not again.
But the Lasat didn’t seem content with that. The moment Kallus relaxed his arm, the Lasat was elbowing Zeb in the face and lunging himself forward. It was all instinct when it happened. As the Lasat’s hands fell upon his neck, Kallus could feel the blade penetrating his abdomen. He hadn’t meant for it to happen but it was to late, the Lasat’s force bringing its body up to the hilt of his own blade while one claw dug into his cheek.
Kallus cried out in pain as he fell back, hitting his head hard on the ground while his mouth filled with blood. And then, even despite stabbing him, the Lasat loomed over him, still alive still kicking, still grinning, claws ready to maim again and—
And then he was gone and Zeb was in his place, his eyes practically murderous as he felt the familiar hands envelop him and pick him up.
“We’re getting out of here, now,” growled out Zeb.
All Kallus could do was weakly nod, blood dripping from his cheek and the wound in his leg at an alarming rate.
“It was never my intention to lead you into such dangerous conditions.”
“I didn’t think it was,” replied Hera, attempting a small smile though even that hurt. Her face had gotten slammed against a wall in the escape and the bruise and light swelling were still pretty evident.
“I know but I…I suppose there is no point hanging on this topic. I’m simply happy you’re all alright,” Mon Mothma murmured. “Obviously you’ll have time to rest once you get back. I must now inform the Council of Gerrera’s decision however. His choice could affect morale.”
“If there had been any way to reason with him, I would have,” Hera said. “What he is now is…a shell of a man, barely there and quickly disappearing. There was nothing to be done.”
Mon Mothma bowed her head in acceptance, as if in mourning, before finally saying, “Get well. Goodbye for now Hera.”
“Goodbye,” replied Hera just before the transmission ended. With a sigh, she forced herself up, wincing slightly as her left arm was jostled from where it was stuck in a sling. Out of everyone, she and Kallus had gotten the worst of it.
With a light groan escaping her lips, she managed to walk over to Zeb’s room. She gave a light knock before opening the door and heading in. Kallus was in Zeb’s bed, with his back against the wall and legs hanging off the edge, one heavily bandaged. Hera joined him, each movement painful.
Letting out a sigh, Hera finally relaxed next to Kallus and the two remained that way for some time, as comfortable as they could be.
She knew he had talked with Zeb, and she had talked to Zeb, and he to Rex, and Rex with her, and all of them together and so on and so forth. They all knew the story. They knew how she and Rex had managed to get out and call Chopper to get the Ghost over by them. And they all knew that it had been the Lasat from Kallus’ past that had taken him.
Hera knew that Zeb had killed him to protect Kallus, had been in the lounge with everyone else while Rex stitched her and him up while Kallus broke. They understood Kallus’ guilt and self-hatred at getting another Lasat killed, even when it was the one that had killed his men, that had tried to kill him. Hera hadn’t been completely sure what to say in that moment, neither had Rex, but thankfully Zeb had been there, giving some unexpectedly wise words of, “You are family, got it? You did what you had to survive and I did what I had to protect you. Would have done the same for anyone else. Besides, he was a disgrace to all Lasats and there’s probably a good many people that are safe now because of what happened.”
So they had already had their heart to heart. Hera knew and she didn’t need to try and force the emotions and feelings out of Kallus. It was still very much written on his face anyways. No, she had come to be a silent support system for now, if Kallus needed it.
And since he didn’t turn her away, she stayed until Rex and Zeb came in with food.
“This’ll help,” Rex said assuredly, pushing the bowls into their hands. “I’ve found food is always a good way to ground yourself.”
“Thank you,” murmured Kallus as he took his.
Zeb got in next to Kallus, the three now thoroughly squished together which only increased when Hera made it clear that Rex wasn’t going to get to walk away so easily either.
“We need a good story to go with a good meal,” Hera insisted as she pulled Rex in.
“Well, when you put it like that, I guess I can’t deny such a small thing.”
And so Rex stayed as well. The clone, the Twi’lek, the defector, and the Lasat, all shoved together as Rex told stories that had to at least be partially made up, talking of people whose names were practically blessings in the Alliance and curses in the Empire, and spoke of those that none of them had heard of.
For Kallus, despite the differences, it made him think of his troops on Onderon, of their comradeship and how they’d stuck together. He knew war was messy, unfair to everyone, so Kallus wasn’t stupid enough to think an incident like that could never happen again. However, if something like that did occur and he somehow survived again, he knew he wouldn’t let their deaths twist him like his old command had twisted him, filled him with so much hate.
No, he would continue to fight for them, for the rebellion. He would not tarnish their memory like he had tarnished his men’s.
So despite what had occurred, despite how it had momentarily broken Kallus’ whole being, he knew he wasn’t going to let it shape him, at least not in the twisted and broken ways that it had done to him before. It would have been dishonorable to the Ghost Crew, to Zeb.
With that knowledge, Kallus allowed himself to relax against Zeb, to feel the familiar fur and body heat as Hera was pressed to his other side and Rex continued in his stories.
None of them intended to fall asleep like that, all cramped onto a single bunk. Their necks certainly didn’t thank them in the aftermath and Kallus’ and Hera’s wounds weren’t to happy with their decision to fall asleep sitting up either. However, none of them could be truly cranky, even with Chopper’s insanely loud wake up alarm that was purely done to annoy them.
They had pushed through the ordeal, physically and emotionally. They would live to fight another day.