Work Text:
It was hard to focus. It's been too hard to focus on anything school-related lately.
Everything's so confusing.
Class felt especially convoluted today; it's like all of the teachers just suddenly realized that they had a job to do and decided to cram the material all at once for their students. Bullshit.. They can't get their shit together, but they expect us to?
Some people understood; actually, the majority of the class knew what was going on. What it was, exactly, Ryuji couldn't remember.
He was preoccupied by other thoughts.
A boy his age can't help but think about—
Sigh. "Not again.."
Ryuji muttered to himself as he felt a faint pink begin to spread on his cheeks, his chin nestled on his crossed arms as he lazily leaned over the school rooftop's steel railings. The busy sounds of commute below him didn't distract him as his gaze pinned on the orange light reflecting on the windows of the next building, obscuring whatever's inside with a bright glow. The sunsets in the city never felt too hot, so Ryuji's palms were kept comfortably warm as he held on to the railing; much better than the chilly desks in the over air-conditioned classroom.
Almost every room at school was colder than it should be, even during the snowy winter. A coat's mandatory if you want to get through a day in there.
This place sucks.
Ryuji took out his phone to check the time; he should've started walking to catch the train about fifteen minutes ago. Knowing that, he let out a slow groan as he wrapped his fingers around the bright screen, obscuring the clock that moved forward another minute. He couldn't bring himself to step outside of the confines of school.
Akira usually waits near the exits for Ryuji so they can walk home together.
He's probably still there.
...
The frustration welling inside of Ryuji dissipated, only to be replaced by a heavy weight on his slow-breathing, but lightly palpitating chest. It felt uncomfortable, especially with that familiar, airy feeling making its way into his stomach. His eyes became glazed, staring at nothing in particular as his mind began to wander. The gentle breeze brushing against him wasn't enough to cool down his warming blush.
There it is, again.
He hated feeling this way—getting those kinds of thoughts. It wasn't necessarily aggravating, but.. Unwelcome would be the most appropriate term for it—if not: annoying.
He looked up and noticed the text message he already had open.
[You're still at school, aren't you? You've been acting weird lately.]
"What the hell do you know?.." Ryuji pouted as he scrolled down, seeing another message. This one was unread.
[Are you mad at me?]
He wasn't sure how to respond to this one; Akira's done nothing to upset Ryuji. Whenever Ryuji needed to vent, he can always rely on him to listen and offer the best, realistic advice he can give. There aren't too many people like him, since several of the other students seem to be intimidated by Ryuji (rumors spread fast). Having a friend like that in a shitty place like this, it's healing.
[yes!!! my phone rang in the middle of class when u texted me]
What would he do without him?
[I'm sorry. I'll treat you somewhere on our way home.] He was always a fast responder.
Ryuji couldn't keep his eyes away from those five letters displayed on the screen:
A-K-I-R-A.
After a deep breath, Ryuji sent another delayed reply, saying that he's heading downstairs to the front doors. Mentioning where he was staying beforehand was unnecessary, and to Ryuji, truthfully answering Akira's question also was. He probably won't ask again.. Hopefully. The answer's a plain and simple "no," but Akira's doing more to Ryuji than he actually realizes. They're not good things, by the way. It's causing nothing but trouble for the poor teenager.
Akira can't stop or apologize for something he knows nothing about, and from what Ryuji's seen so far, he has no clue. Maybe he does, since he's a lot more cunning than he looks; the thought sends shivers down his spine.
How would he react? What would he say?
Ryuji didn't like to think about it.
He stopped at the last flight of stairs, suddenly feeling angry. He slowly marched down, harshly gritting his teeth as he tried to compose himself. His tight grip on the strap of his bag made the ribbed material dig into his skin, leaving marks on his palm. Each step was heavy and almost forced, but staying here was making him feel even more irritated. Was avoiding Akira at the roof worth it? All of that was nothing more than a short delay to Ryuji's inevitable walk home with his fr—
Friend.
It doesn't sound right.
To calm himself down, Ryuji took a shortcut to the vending machine and bought himself two cans of orange soda and black coffee, putting the latter in his bag as he chugged the other down. The sweet taste was able to perk up his mood, but it could only do so much. He leaned against the wall to gather his thoughts, standing beside the window that casted the sunset upon him.
Unfortunately, he doesn't know where to begin.
For the longest, Ryuji was so sure about that part of himself.
He's had a girlfriend in the past—broke his heart real bad, but still counts as a girlfriend, nonetheless. The farthest they've ever gone was an awkward kiss, and as much as Ryuji wanted to keep going, he stopped after realizing that their desires weren't mutual.
They never reached a point where it was.
Ann's so pretty, especially in her summer uniform. Ryuji never realized how pale she really was until the day he first saw her without her signature red leggings—how temptingly supple her thighs were in a skirt. He would stare at her chest way too often, keeping himself from focusing on the outline of her bra or else he'd.. You know.
Wrong place, wrong time. Ryuji knew how to control himself, to a degree. His imagination was harder to tame, running wild as he tried to hold a normal conversation with her.
He actually had a crush on Ann for a short while before he really got close to Akira.
He's always liked girls, and so did Akira. Ryuji never directly asked him about that, but judging from the pubescent discussions they've had in the past about girls, he most likely is.
..I mean, there's always a chance..
Anyway, as embarrassing as it is to admit, he can't help but only look at Akira now, especially when they change in the locker room; his physique's much more developed than he had initially assumed. After Akira takes off his gym clothes while bantering with Ryuji, he isn't shy to take his time changing. If they're not in a hurry, he's completely shirtless to cool down, and Ryuji's eyes linger on Akira's body a little too long, much to his knowing that what he's staring at isn't a girl.
He feels gross doing it, but he really can't resist.
It doesn't help that he's cute too..
"F-Fuck.." Ryuji shook his head as he began to rigidly walk to the meeting place, putting his hands in his pockets for reasons he wouldn't openly specify. He kept an obvious blush on his face as he continued down the hallway, passing by the unfamiliar students who also decided to stay. He couldn't tell who was staring at him (no one was staring), since he was looking down the whole time.
The corridors were as cold as ever, but at least the light coming from the windows provided noticeable warmth as he passed by each one. The fluctuating temperatures were distracting him from focusing on—well, nothing in particular; anything other than Akira.
For a moment, he froze.
Ryuji recalled the lingering question of "why?.."
The exit was now in front of him, the doors wide open, welcoming Ryuji with the sight of the boy he's been trying to avoid.
"Ryuji."
"Missed me?" With one last step, Ryuji finally made his way out of school, wrapping his arm around Akira's shoulder as they greeted each other with an exchange of smiles. Come to think of it, Ryuji's only seen Akira smile when they're together, not that that means anything (as much as Ryuji hoped it did)..
"We missed our train."
I'm glad I met you.
"..I missed you too!"