Chapter Text
Kaz has made a new chat.
Kaz has added two guns jesper , inky, NOOT NOOT, matt, voice-to-text, Please.
Kaz has named the chat “Bottom of the barrel”.
Kaz:
This chat is strictly business related only. If I see a single meme in here there’ll be consequences.
two guns jesper:
mm yes punish me daddy
Kaz has removed two guns jesper from the chat
Please:
fucking savage
Inky has become an admin.
Inky has added two guns jesper to the chat.
Inky:
Play nice Kaz.
Kaz:
Who said you could be an admin?
Kaz has edited the admin feature.
New admins must be approved by a current admin.
matt:
guys your ruining kaz’s mafia aesthetic
Please:
**you’re :)
voice-to-text:
Pretentious much?
Please:
Its joke
Kaz:
Kuwei, stop causing trouble.
Please:
What the fuck? What the fuck? Wylans the one being a little bitch!
voice-to-text: Yeah kuwei
voice-to-text: Stop causing trouble
Kaz:
Wylan’s too innocent to do that.
Please:
I hate all of you.
inky:
stop being mean to wylan
inky:
hes a nice boy
matthias:
??? no hes not?
matt:
wylan put extreme sour lime pop rocks in my choco puff cereal because i moved his homework off the bench so i could work???
voice-to-text:
i would literally never
inky:
wylan would never!
NOOT NOOT:
… im not sure who i should side with here
Please:
um? me?
NOOT NOOT:
i mean kuwei is my bffl but matthias is siding with him and ugh. and inej is siding with wylan so like… do i go with my ex bf and my bff or my gf and her son?
Matt:
i thought we broke up on good terms what the fuck?
matt:
nina thats actually so mean im really hurt
inky:
wylan has never done anything wrong ever
voice-to-text:
Side with me, I’m cute
Please:
ive never. ive never felt so betrayed.
NOOT NOOT:
YOU TWO ARE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART
two guns jesper:
hey guys sorry i had 2 go rescue David Meowie. whats up?
Kaz:
im replacing all of you with androids.
two guns jesper:
good to know!
NOOT NOOT:
do any of u have the math homework
inky:
the homework or the answers to it?
NOOT NOOT:
both
Kaz:
I do. But it’ll cost you.
NOOT NOOT:
ur a cruel man, kaz brekker.
NOOT NOOT:
...how much?
Kaz:
Ten bucks and I need you to flirt with a guy.
Voice-to-text:
Nina, don’t worry, I’ve got the math work!
Voice-to-text:
I’ll go over it with you at break tomorrow?
Kaz:
God fucking dammit Wylan.
NOOT NOOT:
WYLAN UR A LIFESAVER
two guns jesper:
ive never been more proud. Look at my boyfriend everyone. hes saving lives. curing cancer. ruining kaz brekkers job.
Voice-to-text:
Oh my god, Jesper, stop.
Voice-to-text:
You’re not actually mad, right Kaz?
NOOT NOOT:
ill flirt with the guy anyway if u want. what for tho?
Kaz:
Don’t worry, i can’t stay mad at wylan.
Kaz:
Thanks btw. I just need a distraction on saturday during the soccer game.
NOOT NOOT:
oh ok.
two guns jesper:
i can think of a few ways u can make me stop~ ;3
NOOT NOOT:
jesper did u just use a furry face
two guns jesper:
maybe ;3
Voice-to-text:
I’m breaking up with you.
Kaz:
So am I.
two guns jesper:
kaz? we’re? not dating?
Kaz:
As a friend.
Voice-to-text:
I really think you should be more concerned about the fact I’m leaving you.
two guns jesper:
youre right. im so sorry wylan. pls forgive me i love you and ill make you cookies.
Voice-to-text:
Tell me you love me again and we have a deal.
two guns jesper:
i love you more than i love guns and my pet cat
Voice-to-text:
omg
Voice-to-text:
I’m coming over I love you too
Kaz:
Jesus fucking christ. I’m so mad I introduced you two.
NOOT NOOT:
ur just jealous that ur single
Kaz:
Don’t be ridiculous.
NOOT NOOT:
uh huh. *skeptical face*
Kaz has removed NOOT NOOT from the groupchat.
Kaz:
I give it three seconds before inej adds her again.
Kaz:
1…
Kaz:
2…
Kaz:
3…
Kaz:
huh
matt:
guess its just us in here huh?
matt:
all alone
matt :
single
Kaz
has removed
matt
from the groupchat.