Archive of Our Own

The mirror most definitely wasn’t helping. Koutarou sighed as he did another half turn and inspected where the extra weight had redistributed on his ass. He wasn’t in college anymore. He wasn’t on the national team anymore. He wasn’t doing much other than working, eating like crap, and feeling sorry for himself.

Koutarou knew he should probably get back to the gym. That would help a lot of things–the extra weight issue, his anxiety and depressive moods, and he could scope out possible chicks or dudes who might be willing to have a little fun post-workout.

Well, he’d probably have to give it at least a few months of fixing the mess his body had become before anyone would glance twice at him.

Koutarou reached down to pull on his boxers, almost tripping over himself in the process. Fuck. When had he become such a clumsy old fart? Okay, he wasn’t that old, just shy of thirty, but he felt old.

Koutarou was still pouting in his underwear when his phone pinged. The sound was personalized for Kuroo’s texts

‘hey im in town right now lets get together and do something ’

Koutarou stared at it for a long moment, arguing with himself in his head on whether or not he wanted Tetsu to see him be this out of shape and this…well, down on his luck. They hadn’t hung out in at least a year, despite the fact that they talked and texted constantly. Kuroo wanted to video chat, but Koutarou had avoided that, saying that his phone was old and crappy (it was not), and that it made him feel weird (which it did). 

Tetsu, being the great dude that he was, completely respected Koutarou's desire to avoid video chats, and instead would call him at weird hours from Korea or somewhere in Europe or wherever he was that particular month. Koutarou tried to recall the last time Kuroo was in Japan, let alone in Tokyo. Actually, it might have been the last time they hung out.

Koutarou missed Tetsurou desperately. The two of them had survived most of their undergrad university experience together in a shitty little apartment near the school. Koutarou had studied a variety of things–communications, art, education–none of it stuck. When the national team came calling, asking if he would train full time with them, Koutarou dropped out, because he was not particularly close to finishing a degree, and spent three glorious years on the national team until a knee injury ended his volleyball dreams prematurely.

By then, Tetsurou had his medical degree, had finished his training, but was focused on some kind of medical research thing that one of his professors roped him into. Way back during those days, Tetsu and Koutarou had still found time to spend with each other, they’d shoot the shit and goof around. Sometimes, if their schedules weren’t too hectic, they’d find a bar or a club and hit on cute people. Tetsurou had such a dumb type–princess girls or pretty boys–of which, Koutarou was neither. Koutarou wasn’t as picky. He was cool with lots of different kinds of people, though big boobs or big dicks were always a plus in his book. 

Tetsurou had been the first friend Koutarou knew who was bisexual like him, and the two of them grew into that identity together. Tetsu always made Koutarou feel like it was okay to be himself, even if Tetsu did give Koutarou tons of crap for the dumb shit he did.

Fuck, if Koutarou ignored the text for now, he’d ignore it indefinitely. He had to reply, and honestly, saying no wasn’t an option.

‘ Im free whenever during the week but i work this weekend ’

Koutarou sent the text and waited. He felt a little sick as time seemed to tick by in long seconds that dragged on and on. Hurry, hurry, hurry…he grumbled and threw the phone down on the bed and decided putting on more clothes would be a good life decision.

Of course that’s when the phone decided to ping again. Koutarou sighed and grabbed it.

‘ are you available now? i just got off my flight but id much rather stay with you than in some cramped hotel ’

Koutarou looked around his very tiny apartment. It was a shithole that was even smaller than the place he and Kuroo lived in college. Still, just the idea of having Tetsu there stirred up a pang of nostalgia.

‘ my apartment is crap but you are welcome here ’

Koutarou typed out the message, already knowing that his friend would want to stay. Koutarou started picking up laundry off the floor. The bedroom was the only room in the apartment that was currently a mess, and only because he needed to do laundry. Koutarou learned over the years that in order for him to be fully functional, he had to make sure that the spaces he occupied were tidy and organized. Mess made him stress. Tetsurou beat into Koutarou in college that taking the time to make sure things were in their proper places would take a lot of the stress away. Tetsu was kind of brilliant like that. The phone pinged again, breaking Koutarou out of the memory.

‘ send me the address ’

And so Koutarou did.

———-

The knock on the door came about an hour later. Koutarou had spent a good half an hour standing in front of his closet trying to decide what to wear. He settled on jeans and a t-shirt, but even that made him look chubby. It was still the best option though, since most of Koutarou's clothes were currently in the hamper rather than hanging in his closet. 

Koutarou walked into the living room, not letting himself stop, because he wasn’t sure he’d find the courage to start moving again if he did. Koutarou paused for a heartbeat at the door to wipe one sweaty hand on the leg of his jeans. He took a calming breath and swung the door inward.

“Shit, please tell me that you usually lock that,” Tetsurou said with a lopsided grin. “I don’t know if you realize this, but your neighborhood is a little seedy.” 

“I’ve noticed,” Koutarou said with an embarrassed chuckle, and that was all that was said before Tetsu pulled him into an excited, crushing hug.

“I’ve missed you,” Tetsu told Koutarou, sounding weary and jetlagged and strangely happy all at once. 

Koutarou noticed that there was a very thin streak of grey hair that drew a line just above one of Tetsu’s temples, separating his messy black hair into two distinct regions–messy bangs, and the shorter, yet just as unruly, hair above Tetsurou’s left ear. There were also dark circles under Tetsu’s eyes and barely-there crow’s feet that he didn’t have the last time the two of them hung out.

“Come in,” Koutarou told Kuroo, “I’ll give you the grand tour.”

The ‘grand tour’ took almost two whole minutes, but that was if Koutarou was being generous. Tetsu didn’t seem to mind that Koutarou's apartment was in a bad neighborhood, or that the apartment was small, or that Koutarou only had the cheap kind of beer in the fridge. Tetsurou never minded about that kind of stuff though. Tetsurou cared about the important things in life.

Speaking of which… “How have things been going for you,” Koutarou asked as he plopped down on the couch by his friend, a beer in each hand.

Koutarou handed a beer to his friend and Kuroo guzzled down about half of it. 

“I quit my job,” Tetsurou told Koutarou as his eyebrows knit into a scowl. “One of the team’s researchers was falsifying data without our knowledge and we lost our grant. There was a lot of in-fighting, and I was just done with the bullshit, you know. Ready to be home.”

So this was home? Here with Bo? 

“Man, that sounds awful, I’m really sorry, Tetsu,” Koutarou said, not really great at playing the role of comforter. Tetsurou was always much better at knowing the right words to say. However, Koutarou was good at one thing…hugs. Being physically affectionate was practically second nature to Koutarou.

He scooted closer, right next to Kuroo, and pulled the taller man into a tight, unbreakable embrace. 

“Oh my god, Kou, you’re going to snap me in half if you don’t let go. I really can’t breathe,” Kuroo wheezed through a peal of laughter.

“We got to hug it out, Tetsu. Hug the bad feelings out,” Koutarou replied, hiding his smile in the crook of Tetsurou’s neck, and actually giggling when Tetsu finally gave in and relaxed against Koutarou's body. “See, feels better, right?”

“Mmhmm,” was the only answer Koutarou got in return. Tetsurou shifted and Koutarou reluctantly loosened his hold on his friend to allow the movement. Tetsu put his beer down on the floor in front of the couch, and then he leaned on Koutarou until Koutarou got the message and slumped down on the couch, still holding his friend. 

“Being horizontal feels better,” Tetsurou said with a weary sigh. He sounded like he hadn’t slept in years. 

Koutarou was beneath Kuroo, the weight wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t necessarily unpleasant either. Tetsurou was not a small man, he was lean, but he was also compact muscle, even after all these years. Koutarou sighed, envious of Kuroo’s body and how he kept really fit after college. It made sense, the guy was a doctor, and he was always going on and on about making healthy choices. 

“You are really comfortable,” Tetsurou said, closing his eyes and shifting so he was only half draped over Koutarou, his head resting in that space between Koutarou's shoulder and chest.

Comfortable . That was code for squishy, which pretty much meant fat, right? Koutarou tried not to let it bother him, but it did. Why had he let himself go this much? The embarrassment crawled up Koutarou's spine. It sort of made him want to unloosen himself from Tetsu, being the octopus man that Kuroo was, legs and arms tangled around Koutarou, intertwined in a way that made it impossible to escape. 

Koutarou both wanted this to stop and didn’t want it to stop at the same time.

“Hey, I have an idea,” Tetsurou mumbled into the crook of Koutarou's shoulder, the words jumbled together and hard to understand, “If I rent a car, will you drive us out to the beach? I want to go to the beach.”

Kuroo had a fondness for beaches. There had been many, many beach trips over the years. Sometimes when Kuroo also managed to drag Kemna along, Koutarou and Kenma would sit under an umbrella and try to keep each other’s anxiety under control.

Kenma had general social anxiety around crowds. Koutarou felt anxious about being so far away from places he deemed safe if he started to have one of his depressive episodes or an anxiety attack. He hated ruining everyone’s vacation day just because he was having trouble coping. Koutarou's anxiety and depression had gotten much worse during his college years. The failure to find a path in life didn’t sit well with his psyche. It didn’t improve until Koutarou got on the national team and he had something clear to focus on, but he lost that too.

“We could just take the train, and get a hotel for the night when we get there,” Koutarou replied, even though he still wasn’t sure he actually wanted to go.

Tetsurou’s long fingers drummed out a little rhythm on Koutarou's chest as he listened. “I’d rather drive,” Tetsu responded, “I’d rather be alone with you in a car than with a whole bunch of people on a train.”

“And it’s not even May yet, the water is going to be too cold to swim in,” Koutarou continued, trying to come up with some reason that might be an acceptable excuse not to go.

“We don’t have to swim,” Tetsu mumbled against the fabric of Koutarou's t-shirt. “I just want to be out there, sit in the sand, and be one with nature.”

“That’s some nice Zen bullshit, Tetsu,” Koutarou told him with a chuckle.

Koutarou knew that Tetsurou had been dabbling a little with Buddhism, mostly because he found meditation to be immensely helpful in managing his stress from work, but he also described himself as staunchly agnostic. It was the scientist in Kuroo that kept him from buying into the doctrine of any religion, but Koutarou knew he still liked to center himself and be mindful. 

“So…you’ll drive me to the beach, right?” Kuroo asked, his voice edging up at the end to make it a question, even though it really wasn’t a question.

“Ha-ha! You think that you have me under your thumb, Kuroo Tetsurou, but I am not as weak to you as I once was,” Koutarou proclaimed with a dumb smirk. 

It was a lie. Koutarou was absolutely still as weak to Tetsurou as he was in college, or even high school.

Kuroo tipped his head up to look at Koutarou. Koutarou was not surprised at all when Tetsu’s expression went from hopeful to pouty to dejected in the span of five seconds. Tetsu had the whole ‘guilt-trip Koutarou into doing things for me’ schtick down pat.

“Stop it,” Koutarou tried, his defenses quickly crumbling. How could he be so weak for this man? 

“C’mon, Kou, it’ll be fun. We can catch up on the drive. I have a thousand things to tell you,” Kuroo said, and he had the gall to smile. Three seconds ago Tetsurou had been the picture of melancholy.

“I’m really considering kicking you out and making you stay at a hotel,” Koutarou said as he started to disentangle himself from Tetsurou. 

“Lies. Filthy lies,” Kuroo replied as he swung himself back up into a seated position, gracefully grabbing his beer bottle from the floor as he did so.

“Renting a car isn’t going to be cheap, you know,” Koutarou warned. “I’m broke and you’re unemployed.”

The last time that Koutarou had rented a car he’d been on the national team, and he had a good enough paycheck to afford it. There was no way that Koutarou's current budget would allow for such an extravagance. 

Kuroo just shrugged at him. “I’m a world-class medical researcher who has been nothing but a workaholic for the last five years. I didn’t buy any property or expensive cars, I didn’t go out and have any fun, I lived out of a suitcase, and I got paid handsomely. Trust me, Kou, I have enough money squirreled away to live off of for years without worry, so let’s go to the beach and have a fun week.”

Koutarou furrowed his eyebrows into a half-hearted scowl. “I have to work this Saturday, Tetsu. I can’t get out of my shift either. I need this job.”

Kuroo’s rebuttal was swift. “I’ll get you back by Saturday, and after this weekend I think you and I need to talk about you finding better employment.”

“I like my job,” Koutarou objected.

“No you don’t,” Kuroo said in his matter-of-fact tone that drove Koutarou crazy. Even moreso since Tetsu was right, Koutarou didn’t really like his job much at all anymore. 

Tetsurou was a really clever guy, and sometimes he used that cunning to his advantage with Koutarou, but most of the time it just made Koutarou feel stupid. It wasn’t like Koutarou had delusions that he was a brilliant guy, he wasn’t and he knew that, but Koutarou wasn’t stupid either.

“Okay, fine, let’s go,” Koutarou finally acquiesced to Kuroo and his grand beach plans. 

“If we hurry we’ll be there just after sunset,” Kuroo said as he hopped up from the couch. Koutarou was about to grumble again, but Kuroo leveled him with the most sincerely fond smile. “Go pack a bag, I’ll make a car reservation with my phone.”

Koutarou managed to find a few clean t-shirts, a hoodie, another pair of jeans, sandals, and a couple of towels for them to sit on at the beach. Koutarou also decided to bring a blanket just in case he and Kuroo stayed out most of the night. It had been unseasonably warm the last few days, but April weather could be unpredictable. There had been many nights when he and Kuroo had camped out on the beach in college and Koutarou regretted not bringing a blanket. So yeah, just in case.

“Hurry up,” Kuroo hollered from the living room.

“Quit being impatient,” Koutarou said as he measured out three days worth of doses of his medication that he took to help him manage his depression. 

Koutarou also tossed in a couple Xanax pills just in case he had an anxiety attack, which were blessedly rare these days. He’d always been more likely to fall into a funk than to feel anxious, but at times he needed them. Koutarou stopped and looked at the little pill container in his hand. He was such a mess, wasn’t he? Koutarou tossed the small pillbox into the front zipper of his bag, shut off all the lights, and then grabbed his apartment key from its hook by the doorway. Kuroo was already waiting for him in the hallway, his face split by a shit-eating grin.

“You’re lucky I haven’t been mugged yet waiting out here for you,” Tetsurou joked as he watched Koutarou close and lock the door.

Another small wave of embarrassment rolled over Koutarou, but he took a deep breath and let it fall away. He knew Tetsu was just teasing, and Koutarou wasn’t going to let one tiny blow to his ego bring him down. Not today, not with Tetsu here.

When Koutarou looked up at Tetsurou, he found his friend giving him a deeply concerned look. Koutarou didn’t say anything, he just led them out of the apartment building and toward the train station.

———

It was kind of ironic that they had to take the train to get to the car rental station. It was the only one nearby that had extended hours. By train, the trip to Tetsurou’s favorite beaches on the Izu Peninsula took a little over an hour, but by car, it was going to be three times that long. Koutarou struggled through the traffic in Tokyo, but once they got onto open road it was a really beautiful and serene drive. 

Koutarou had let Tetsu sleep for the first hour of the trip, because driving always made Kuroo drowsy. Koutarou hadn’t turned on the radio because he kind of wanted the silence. It was always harder for him to focus with extraneous sound, and there were a few things on his mind that Koutarou needed to sift through.

Finally, after a good, long nap, Kuroo shifted in his seat, coming back to wakefulness. He blinked and scrubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes, and finished with a big yawn that was somehow contagious. Koutarou stifled his own yawn into a hand.

Kuroo looked out the window at the scenery, made lovely with fading evening light.  “I just missed the cherry blossoms, didn’t I?” Kuroo asked as he fiddled his phone, trying to sync it up through the car’s bluetooth. 

Koutarou gave Kuroo a quiet, “Mmhmm,” in reply. 

“What do you want to listen to?” Kuroo asked, trying to get the bluetooth to work. 

“Uh, rock? Or whatever, I guess,” Koutarou said. “Something we can actually talk over.”

“Have you been doing okay?” Tetsurou asked. He was careful to not ask it with a joking tone, or pity, or anything but simple curiosity. 

“So-so,” Koutarou answered, not really wanting to talk about himself or his problems.

“Doing anything other than working?” Kuroo asked as he pushed a few buttons on his phone, and then adjusted some of the car settings in the center console, still not able to get his phone to sync to the car.

“Not really, I guess. Work has been extra exhausting lately,” Koutarou replied. He held out his hand to Tetsurou, and motioned for him to give Koutarou the phone.

“You’re driving, I can get this,” Kuroo said, but Koutarou was insistent, even going as far as to poke Tetsu’s shoulder when he refused to hand it over. “So you aren’t seeing anybody?”

“Quit trying to distract me and give me the phone,” Koutarou said, his voice a bit annoyed now. 

“Giving you the phone would be a distraction,” Tetsurou said with an exasperated sigh, glaring at the phone in his hand. He finally grumbled something under his breath and pushed the phone into Koutarou's waiting hand. 

“Thank you, and no, I’m not seeing anyone,” he answered the previous question now that Tetsu had finally relinquished his phone.

It only took a few moments and a few voice commands to get it to sync. Kuroo put on a playlist that made Koutarou a little nostalgic. It was some low-key alternative songs that they used to listen to while they studied. 

“I love this song,” Koutarou said with a smile.

“Thought you might,”Kuroo said, dumping his phone into one of the cup holders so he didn’t have to hold it.  “Okay, so no fun and no significant other, what exactly have you been doing since I last talked to you?”

Nothing . The thought nagged at Koutarou as he tried to come up with something. 

Though the two of them randomly texted each other constantly about stupid shit, they hadn’t had a deep conversation in a lot of months. And honestly, Koutarou never really told Tetsu the whole truth. Koutarou didn’t admit to Tetsu that he felt lonely or that his depressive episodes were really hard to handle without someone there to snap him out of it. Those kinds of things bothered Tetsurou, because it wasn’t like he could do much from Prague, or wherever the fuck he’d been located out of most recently.

Koutarou didn’t want answer the question, so he just gave a noncommittal shrug, but Tetsurou was having none of that. “Kou, you gotta live your life. I know that you’ve been down, but you are a great guy, and you deserve so much more than what you’ve let yourself have.”

Koutarou, so loud whenever he was happy and excited, was equally as quiet when he retreated into himself. How could he explain to Tetsu how much he struggled? Or that he really couldn’t afford to treat himself to ‘more’ at all, mostly because his bank account would revolt. But knowing Tetsu, and Koutarou did, he likely meant more of the intangible things in life. It wasn’t like Koutarou was rich in those either these days.

“Can we talk about something else, Tetsu. This conversation is bumming me out,” he said softly. He knew Tetsurou was doing this for the right reasons, but it still felt a bit too invasive right now. He’d rather have fun with his best friend, not wallow in all of his problems.

“Sure, Kou,” Tetsu told him, reaching over to give Koutarou's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

———-

Kuroo had been right about when they’d arrive. The sun had just sunk behind the hills west of Atami City, and unsurprisingly the vibrant town was lit up and lovely on this clear April night. However, they weren’t here for the city. They were here for the beaches.

“Are we stopping at Sun Beach?” Koutarou asked as he pulled into a gas station on the outskirts of the town. 

Kuroo looked fondly down the mountain at the beach below. Sure, Atami City was fun, but Koutarou could tell that it wasn’t exactly what Kuroo wanted. 

“Let’s head further down the coast, that one cove we went to in our second year of college, that one July. Do you remember how to get there?”

It had been a long time since that trip. Yaku had borrowed his parent’s car and he, Kuroo, Koutarou, Kenma, and Akaashi all piled into the cramped Honda Civic and they drove in search of the perfect beach. What the five of them found hadn’t been a pristine beach. It was a little rocky, and for the most part the riptides prevented them from swimming too far out, but there was a cove tucked away that Tetsurou had discovered on one of his long beach walks. 

“You mean that one that is between Ito and Usami?” Koutarou asked as he grabbed his wallet so he could pay for the gas. 

“Yeah, that one,” Kuroo said, and his grin brightened as he pulled his own credit card out. “Put your money away, this is my treat.”

“I can pay for my share of the gas,” Koutarou grumbled, even though in reality it wouldn’t be helpful to his meager monthly budget at all. It was probably why he didn’t put up much of a fight as Kuroo got out to pump the gas. 

When they got going again, Koutarou looked at the map on his phone, “You want me to take 135?” 

“Yeah, that sounds fine,” Tetsurou said. He was already staring longingly out at the water and the sand. A lot of the treetops blocked it from view, but the roads wound around, and sometimes it was possible to see the dark water and the rocky beaches from the road, particularly when they passed through the small towns that dotted the coastline.

It took about forty five minutes of driving to get to the place on the road where they could pull off. There was a small area for parking right before a tunnel, and the two of them left the car there and made their way down to the beach. It probably wasn’t wise to hike down the sharp decline in the trees in the dark, loose rocks everywhere on the barely there path, but Tetsu didn’t seem to mind. Both of them carefully made their way through the trees and onto the rocky shoreline. 

The breeze coming off the water was warm and smelled briney. If they’d been out here earlier in the afternoon, Koutarou might have considered putting his feet in the water

“Hey, lucky us, it’s low tide,” Tetsurou called out to Koutarou, who was a few paces behind him. “We’ll be able to get to that one pool.”

Tetsurou loved exploring alcoves and pools, and he’d usually pocket a handful of shells and water worn rocks that looked interesting. It would be hard to find them tonight though, because there wasn’t much moonlight to see by. Koutarou looked up at the sky. There wasn’t a single cloud blocking out the sliver of the new moon, or the smattering of stars that started to wink into existence above them in the rapidly growing twilight.

At the gas station, Kuroo had been mindful enough to realize that they’d probably needed some kind of flashlight. He had bought a small camping lamp for twice the price that they could have purchased it back in Tokyo, but Koutarou was grateful for the dim yellow glow all the same as he followed Tetsurou’s sure steps.

“Holy shit it is so quiet out here,” Koutarou said, his excitement growing now that they were further from the road. They apparently had the entire beach to themselves.  

There was still the faint sound of cars and trucks driving by on 135, but the trees muted the hum of traffic, and there wasn’t a lot of it at this time of night. Mostly just trucks ferrying goods to the little seaside towns. Tetsu seemed to have found a good spot to leave their stuff, right by an outcropping of rocks. Koutarou set the towels down on the coarse sand and stacked the blanket on top of one of them. 

Tetsurou plopped himself down on the towel and started taking off his shoes. Koutarou wasn’t really paying attention until Tetsu reached around to the back of his neck and grabbed at his t-shirt, pulling it off in one fluid motion.

“Uh, w-what…” Koutarou stuttered, confusion obvious before he continued. He might have also been a little distracted by the well-defined abs that stretched down Tetsurou’s belly. The guy wasn’t just in good shape, he was ripped. “What are you doing, Tetsu?”

The troublemaker’s grin that Koutarou got in reply stirred up old memories of the two of them goofing around and causing mischief. It used to drive Kenma and Akaashi nuts.

“We’re going skinny dipping,” Tetsurou said as he started working his way out of his pants.

Skinny dipping. Crap. Koutarou looked around, and noticed how the darkness swallowed up their surroundings. The lamp that Tetsurou bought was the only thing lending them light. Koutarou was sure if Kuroo shut that off no one would have any idea they were down there. Even with it Koutarou wasn’t sure anyone would see them.

“Tetsu, I don’t know…” Koutarou started, fingers skimming the hem of his t-shirt. He didn’t want to do this. Even in the overwhelming darkness Koutarou didn’t want Tetsu to see him naked. It wasn’t exactly a pretty sight at the moment, so Koutarou used the temperature as an excuse to avoid the real issue he had with skinny dipping. “The water is going to be really, really cold.”

“It will feel terrible and amazing, and it’ll be fun,” Kuroo encouraged Koutarou while he shucked off his jeans and stood to remove the last article of clothing he wore. 

Koutarou tried really, really hard not to make an audible gasp when he saw the entirety of Tetsurou’s naked body. Tetsu was really hot, and he had the body type Koutarou was attracted to the most. This was torture. Koutarou worried the fabric of his t-shirt between his fingers, and instead of pulling it off, he tugged it further down, anchoring it in place in defiance of Tetsurou’s desire to go skinny dipping together.

“Koutarou, c’mon, live a little,” Kuroo encouraged.

“I do plenty of living. Here I am. Alive. I live,” Koutarou said, sitting down on his towel and trying his best not to look directly at his naked friend. 

“Fuck, when did you become such a prude?” Tetsurou asked, plopping down next to Koutarou, sans all clothing.

“Hey, ‘m not a prude,” Koutarou mumbled, pouting at the label.

Koutarou really wasn’t a prude. He liked sex. He had sex. Well, to be more accurate he used to have sex. How long had it been since he got laid? Eight months? Nine? And even then, it had only been a one night stand with a girl he met at a bar. They went to a love motel and it had been okay as sex goes. About as good as any one night stand was expected to be, but it wasn’t intimate, and it felt a little like just going through the motions. Koutarou preferred being with a partner he knew better.

Tetsurou nudged Koutarou's hand with his own. “I mean you don’t have to, but it’d be fun.”

“Freezing my dick off in the ocean doesn’t sound like fun, Tetsu,” Koutarou shot back. 

And it really didn’t. The last thing Koutarou wanted was to be naked, showing off a body that he was not proud of in the least, and then have his dick shrink to nothing thanks to the cold water. That would just be added humiliation. Koutarou knew he shouldn’t care about how he looked as much as he did, but it was hard when he went from being a world-class athlete to being a chubby, out of shape loser with a shitty job and a shitty life.

Koutarou crossed his arms over his chest. Next to him, Kuroo pulled the blanket into his lap and said, “I know it’s a little cold out here, but why come to the beach if we aren’t going to get in the water?”

“What happened to sitting in the sand and becoming one with nature?” Koutarou asked as he uncrossed his arms and pulled his knees to his chest instead. 

“I plan on doing that afterwards,” Kuroo said. “Please, Kou. I want you there with me.”

“Don’t wanna,” Koutarou said as he picked up a rock and flung it out into the ocean. Koutarou couldn’t tell exactly where it landed, but it made a noticeable sploosh as it sunk into the water.

There was a long pause, and then Kuroo, not pulling punches, told Koutarou this, “You don’t look bad, Kou.”

It totally caught Koutarou off guard, and perhaps that was why Koutarou's first reaction was to be defensive.

“Who said I looked bad?” Koutarou asked, even though that had been exactly what he was worrying over. Koutarou's irritation rose as he picked up another rock and hurled it out farther than the first.

“No one, but I can tell you think it,” Tetsurou said. He shivered as a gust of wind kicked up leaves and grains of sand from the beach. Tetsu pulled the blanket further up his body, blocking himself from the sudden, cool crosswind coming off the ocean. “You know I don’t care about that kind of thing.”

Koutarou scoffed, looking over at Kuroo for the first time during this conversation. “You, Mr. Eat-Healthy-Exercise-Abs-For-Days, yeah you don’t care at all.”

“I encourage my friends to be healthy because I care, but it’s not like I look down on you for having put on a couple of pounds since college, Kou.” There was a slight twinge of exasperation in Kuroo’s tone now, Koutarou could hear it. “You still look good. Like really good.”

Koutarou didn’t say anything in response, he just gave Kuroo an incredulous glare before turning away and focusing on the waves breaking over the rocks instead.

“Hey, trust me a little here,” Kuroo said, “I have good taste and you know I like beefy guys.”

“I thought you liked pretty boys,” Koutarou said, the word ‘pretty’ coming out harsher than the rest. 

“Pretty guys and beefy guys are not exclusive. You should know that, Koutarou,” Kuroo replied, his voice growing soft when he said Koutarou's name. 

“Why in the hell would I know that?” Koutarou spluttered. 

This was getting ridiculous, but Koutarou's seemingly irrational anger fell away when he suddenly realized what Kuroo said. No, he had to be wrong. Was that really what Kuroo was trying to say? 

“Do you…do you think I’m pretty?”

It might have been the most ridiculous thing Koutarou had ever asked. Or at least he seemed to think so.

Kuroo gave a little shrug, turning his gaze out to the ocean instead of at Koutarou. He watched the water for a long time before explaining.

“You have a really delicate looking face,” Kuroo told him. 

Koutarou snorted, because this had gone from ridiculous to stupid. “I do not have a delicate face. I have a blocky, square head and droopy fucking eyes, and most people assume I’m an idiot.”

“I don’t,” Kuroo told him. “I know you’re not an idiot, Kou. And you do have dainty features, just accept it. You have this absolutely adorable button nose, a smooth jaw, and your lips…” Kuroo paused and decided not to continue that particular train of thought. “You have cute ears too.”

“Now you’re just being weird,” Koutarou said as he stood up. This was all getting way too strange for him. He was not pretty. He was hunky. Manly! “What the fuck does a smooth jaw even mean?”

“I dunno how to describe it, you don’t really have a strong jawline, but it isn’t weak. It’s just part of the whole pretty thing.”

“Stop calling me pretty! I was on a high school volleyball team with Akaashi Keiji for two years, trust me, I know what pretty is. Akaashi is pretty. You are pretty, Tetsu. I’m this gross lump of shit,” and with that, Koutarou stomped off, right up to where the waves were lapping at the shore. 

He was so mad. Not at Tetsu, because this wasn’t Tetsurou’s fault. Okay, all that pretty nonsense was definitely his fault, but that was probably just Tetsu trying to make Koutarou feel better. Koutarou let out a frustrated scream. It was only a short burst of sound, but it was explosive and raw, and it felt violent and hurtful. Oh fuck, this hurt. He hurt. How had his life come to this?

Koutarou crouched down into a squat, the waves splashed him with each push and pull of seawater. His vision blurred, and he tried so damn hard not to let the tears fall, but he couldn’t stop them. The wetness ran down his cheeks. He felt weak, and now that he was squatting his fucking knee hurt too, because what was tonight without the reminder of the injury that ruined his life?

Koutarou flinched as a hand pressed gently against the curve of his spine, the fingers gently soothing him. 

“Fuck, Tetsu, go away,” Koutarou tried, but it didn’t sound like he meant it, probably because he didn’t. He wanted Tetsurou there, he wanted someone to say he’d be okay, because Koutarou felt everything but. Koutarou needed someone to ground him before this tantrum grew any more destructive and harmful.

“C’mere,” Tetsurou said very quietly.

The hand that had been rubbing calming circles slid along Koutarou's back, over his shoulder. Tetsurou gripped Koutarou's bicep and urged him to stand, then drew him closer. Tetsu’s arms circled Koutarou and embraced him, letting Koutarou have this moment of weakness as Koutarou cried against the bare skin of Kuroo’s chest. But as Koutarou wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s waist, seeking more comfort, he felt the rough denim fabric slung low on Tetsurou’s hips.

“You put on pants for me,” Koutarou said, his voice breaking. It was scratchy from the scream and the crying.

“Didn’t seem like the time for naked hugs,” Tetsurou said with a chuckle. 

Even Koutarou let out a soft hoot of laughter at that before he relaxed against Tetsurou. They stood there for a long time, surrounded by silence other than the sound of water breaking on rocks and the steady lapping of waves against the sand. 

Finally, Koutarou gave a sigh and pulled back. This shit was embarrassing, but if anyone had to see Koutarou break down, he wanted it to be Tetsu, because Tetsurou didn’t judge him for it. Years of knowing Koutarou had accustomed Kuroo to this kind of thing, and though instances as extreme as this one were rare, Kuroo had learned to be gentle toward his friend’s emotionally chaotic nature.

Numbness and exhaustion started to set in as the short burst of anxiety finally vacated Koutarou. Kuroo, who tried his best to be understanding and caring during the immediacy of a panic attack, rarely coddled Koutarou much after they were over. It’s probably why he pulled Koutarou's hand into his and said, “Come swimming with me?”

Koutarou hummed softly. He wasn’t really opposed to it, but he couldn’t bring himself to undress. 

Kuroo reached forward and gently took the hem of Koutarou's t-shirt with his fingers. The expression on Tetsurou’s face was soft as he scooted the fabric up, and waited for Koutarou to lift his arms. Koutarou did. The shirt slid off easily as Tetsurou pushed it up and off. Next, Koutarou sucked in a breath as Kuroo reached forward and flicked the top button of his jeans open. The zipper slid down with quiet clicks, and then Kuroo pushed the fabric off Koutarou's hips, and his boxers went at the same time.

Koutarou had been undressed a time or two in his life. Normally it included foreplay and a romantic partner, but this didn’t feel like that. It was intimate, but not sexually intimate. Koutarou stepped out of his pants and Kuroo crouched down to take the jeans and boxers as Koutarou kicked them off. Kuroo snatched the clothing, ran it up to the rest of their stuff, and dropped it atop one of the towels. He quickly discarded his own pants and Koutarou realized even though Tetsu had put pants back on, he hadn’t done the same with his underwear.

Kuroo came barreling at Koutarou, hooting and hollering as he sprinted into the surf. 

“Holy fuck this is cold!” Tetsurou shouted once the water reached his hips. “Fuck, I think my dick is going to freeze off!”

Hadn’t Koutarou warned Tetsu about this? Koutarou was pretty sure he did. Still, it didn’t stop grin from spreading as he followed Tetsurou’s path and ran into the waves, ignoring the pang of emotional discomfort that came with being naked. Of course Tetsu, the complete asshole, decided to splash Koutarou with handfuls of too-cold seawater when he got close.

“I will dunk your lanky ass in the ocean if you keep that up,” Koutarou grumbled, hands raised protectively to shield himself from the brunt of the splash attack, and when Tetsurou stopped, motioning that he was willing to make peace, Koutarou used the opportunity to swing his arms downward, only to bring up a torrent of water onto Kuroo a split second later.

The waves weren’t particularly strong along this beach, but in the dark neither of them trusted their swimming skills enough to go out any further than they already had. Instead, they waded over to a large outcrop of rocks along the shore. It created a natural seawall which protected the little pool that appeared during low tide.

Kuroo hurried around the rocks until he found the opening, then with a splash and whoop, he dove into the water. Koutarou didn’t feel sorry for him at all when he came up spluttering, chilled and shaking. 

“It isn’t even that cold,” Koutarou said with a smirk, dunking down under the surface of the still, dark pool. 

It was cold, but it was also bearable, especially after Koutarou acclimated himself the temperature. The warmth of the Kuroshiro current made even early season swimming doable. Kuroo dipped back under, and this time he stayed there. Only his head bobbed above the surface. 

“We aren’t going to be able to stay in very long,” Kuroo said through chattering teeth. Even when stupidly cold, Kuroo loved being in the water.

“This was your idea, dickface,” Koutarou told him, flicking a few droplets of water in Tetsurou’s direction.

“I’m pretty sure I have made questionable life choices before, and I’m sure to make them again,” Tetsu told Koutarou through a rigid smile.

The two of them managed to suffer through ten more minutes in the ocean before being forced out. The first few steps out of the water were the worst. The wind gusted through the beach, and thank goodness it was a southerly breeze, or they’d frozen their balls off. As it was, they dried themselves off in record time and hurried back into their clothes. Koutarou's towel was the less waterlogged of the two, so they sat on it and wrapped the blanket around each other to share its warmth.

The night was actually pretty perfect, and once the two of them stopped shivering, they watched in awe at the vast sky above them as stars continued to twinkle into view. 

“The wind is in the right direction to blow the Tokyo smog away,” Kuroo said. “I’m glad we came.”

“Me too,” Koutarou replied quietly. He still felt a little dumb about his outburst, and a little embarrassed over his body, but this was nice.

Tetsurou shifted, wrapping his corner of the blanket tighter around them. They were already stretching it to the extent of its blankety capabilities. Koutarou scooted closer to Kuroo, their sides now pressed together from hip to shoulder. Koutarou's arm was slung low behind Kuroo’s back, and the arm Kuroo wasn’t using to hold the blanket was draped over Koutarou's shoulders.

“You know how I said I made some questionable life choices?” Kuroo asked Koutarou.

“Vaguely,” Koutarou said. “Something about you making a lot of them?”

“A lot of them? I said I made some, not a lot,” he corrected Koutarou, who sat there and smirked at Tetsurou. “Shut up, I can see your stupidly pretty face.”

“I doubt that, it’s really dark,” Koutarou said. Saying that was easier than revisiting the whole ‘pretty’ thing.

Kuroo fidgeted some more, and then finally he took in a deep breath and began to talk. “I have two things that I regret the most. First I regret leaving Japan, and by association leaving you. And second, I regret the fact that I was too chicken-shit to tell you the truth.”

“Truth ‘bout what?” Koutarou asked as he sniffed a string of snot back into his nose, which was running, obviously the result of diving into an unforgiving April ocean, but there was little he could do about that now. Koutarou's mind flitted back to what Tetsurou had just said, but only a little, because Koutarou was an expert at distracting himself during important conversations. 

Kuroo shrugged, like what he was about to say wasn’t a big deal, but the actual words indicated otherwise. “The truth that I was in love with you, but you were going places in life with volleyball and the national team, and I didn’t want to disrupt that.”

“Oh yeah, I went somewhere, that’s for sure,” Koutarou retorted as he rolled his eyes and purposely ignored the first part of what Tetsu said.

“Stop beating yourself up. Life happens, and sometimes it’s shitty, and sometimes you think it can’t get worse, but then it does, but it usually gets better too.”

“If you tell me things happen for a reason, I’m going to punch you,” Koutarou grumbled. 

“Is that seriously your response to me telling you that I love you?” Kuroo asked, body tensing next to Koutarou.

“No. That was not my response to you telling me that. How about this? I didn’t tell you that I loved you because you were off making medical history in Switzerland or Belgium or wherever the fuck you were.” Koutarou watched Tetsurou carefully as he let his own confession hang in the air.

Both of them were silent for a long time. Tetsurou was the first to speak again as he barked out a bitter laugh and said, “We are so fucking stupid.”

“The stupidest,” Koutarou agreed. 

A moment of silence held for a few heartbeats. Koutarou could barely breathe.

“I think I’m going to kiss you now,” Tetsurou told Koutarou, pivoting his body inward to face Koutarou.

“I think I’ll probably let you,” Koutarou replied as he released the breath that he’d held in.

It took two tries. The first time failed spectacularly when Kuroo was approximately three centimeters from Koutarou's mouth and started to giggle. Koutarou joined in, and then the two of them absolutely lost their shit. It took a long time to settle down and try again, but when they did it was good.

The press of Tetsurou’s lips against Koutarou's mouth was firm, insistent, and wanting. It felt right. Koutarou's heartbeat fluttered in his chest as Kuroo cupped his cheek and slid his tongue along the seam of Koutarou's mouth, and in response, Koutarou opened to him, breathless and needy. 

Tetsurou hummed a soft sound that spoke more of contentment than lust, though the next one he made had quite a few salacious undertones that made Koutarou smirk.

“Stop smiling. It makes it hard to kiss you,” Tetsurou mumbled against Koutarou's mouth, tongue retreating for a few seconds before Tetsu decided to be insistent as he decidedly kissed the daylights out of Koutarou.

Tetsu’s arm dropped from where it was draped over Koutarou's shoulders and he fisted a handful of Koutarou's t-shirt between his fingers. Kuroo could be a greedy bastard when he wanted to be. 

Well, give as good as you get, Koutarou thought, as he took the lead and nipped at the soft flesh of Tetsurou’s lips. He groaned as he sucked gently on Tetsu’s lower lip, and when that was well received, Koutarou pressed forward and slipped his tongue into Tetsu’s mouth.

The two of them had always been competitive–with other people, with volleyball, and especially with each other. Tetsurou made sure that Koutarou knew he wasn’t going to be passive as he sucked on Koutarou's tongue. Tetsurou loosed another, this time rather lewd, moan. Oh fuck, Koutarou pulled back just a little and ran the tip of his tongue over Tetsu’s sharp incisors. He had explored a lot of things with Tetsu over the years, but this had never been one of them. 

“Why the hell didn’t we do this back in college?” Koutarou asked as they broke away from each other. He couldn’t help it, he needed to breathe. Koutarou's left nostril had gone from runny to stuffed up, and that made kissing more difficult, but not impossible.  

Koutarou urged Tetsu back to him. This time the kiss was less controlled, more instinct than anything else, and it was also wet and even a little sloppy, but Koutarou loved the taste of Tetsurou–coffee and a hint of the candy bar Tetsu bought at the gas station. Fuck, Koutarou hadn’t realized how much he needed Tetsu.

“Mmmm,” Tetsurou hummed as he gently pushed on Koutarou's chest until Koutarou relinquished Tetsu’s lips. “I think we should probably slow this down a bit.”

Koutarou had always had a strong sense of showmanship and loved to perform and be watched, and that even translated to how he acted in many of his relationships and/or personal encounters as well, but Kuroo had always been a very intensely private person in regards to his relationships. Kuroo and PDA didn’t mesh well. Koutarou was surprised that Tetsu had let the kiss go this far.

“We’re in the middle of an abandoned beach,” Koutarou said, furrowing his brows into a slight scowl. 

“Yeah, and I’m not looking to nut in the ocean, thanks,” Kuroo said, voice a little raspy and breathless.

Oh. There was a pang of pride as Koutarou realized that he got Tetsu turned on by just kissing. Well, Tetsu had got him a little turned on too, if he was being honest. Nothing that had to be taken care of, but there was definitely interest. Still, Koutarou understood that wasn’t what they should focus on tonight. It was a begrudging understanding, but an understanding nonetheless. They had so much to catch up on, and there would be plenty of time for sex later. 

“Wanna take a walk?” Koutarou asked as he shifted out of the blanket and their embrace to stand. “We should go find you a seashell for your collection. Oh…but do you still have your shell collection?” 

Kuroo nodded, and took the hand Koutarou offered him so Koutarou could pull him up. 

“My parents have generously kept it for me. I’ve mailed them shells from all over the world, and I think that gives them some tangible proof that my career is a success. Oh, Tetsu, my book club thought that the shell you sent from Barcelona was beautiful ,” Kuroo said imitating his mother.

“Hey, don’t mock your mom, she’s a cool lady,” Koutarou said. He had a strict rule that everyone should love and respect their moms, and heaven help you if you didn’t.

“She is definitely a cool lady. It’s just funny that she seems to love the collection more than I do, and I love it a lot,” Kuroo said as the two of them slipped into their shoes and started walking up the beach. 

“I get it though,” Koutarou said as they reached the edge of the water. “It was her way of staying connected to you.” Koutarou reached down and picked up a small broken piece of shell. It was definitely not good enough for Kuroo’s collection.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Tetsurou said as he bent down and picked up a shell that he found after scanning the beach with the tiny lamp. 

“That one isn’t half bad,” Koutarou said as he scrutinized the little shell in Tetsu’s hand.

“Not good enough,” Kuroo said, dropping it back down onto the coarse sand. He kept walking, picking up shells and tossing them back when none met his standards.

“Dude, this one is really nice too,” Koutarou said as he examined a little scallop shell that Tetsurou had discarded. 

“I need a perfect one,” Tetsurou called back, and Koutarou rushed to catch up. Koutarou was about to ask why, but Tetsu seemed to anticipate the question as he added, “It’s the night I told you I love you, it has to be an extraordinarily good one.”

The next shell Kuroo picked up had a lot of potential, but when he turned to show Koutarou, tiny legs popped out and Kuroo jumped back with a screech and dropped the shell.

“Oh shit! Don’t traumatize the little guy,” Koutarou said as he watched the hermit crab try and fix the overturned shell. Koutarou chuckled and gave the little sea creature some help as he righted it and watched the crab skitter away.

Koutarou looked over at Kuroo and tried to hide his grin, but it was just too cute. Tetsu screaming at a tiny, itty-bitty crab was adorable. 

“It just surprised me,” Tetsurou said, obviously annoyed that Koutarou was charmed by his outburst.

“Mmhmm,” Koutarou said, the smile still plastered to his face as he dropped down and inspected the other shells carefully, just in case there were more crabs hiding in them. 

Koutarou found one of those cool shells that was both round and pointy and swirly. It had thin stripes of black, and variegated red and yellow between the black. The inside was coated in that pearly stuff that shells often had. Koutarou thought this one deserved consideration.

“Hey, I think I found one of those turbo shells,” Koutarou said holding it up for Kuroo to take.

“Turbinate,” Tetsurou corrected as he carefully plucked the tiny shell from Koutarou's fingers. The expression on Tetsu’s face went from curious to pleased, and Koutarou was really happy that he found a shell Tetsu liked. “Yeah, this one is really nice,” he said as he tucked the little shell into his pocket, “And you found it for me. Thanks.”

The best part was when Tetsurou’s expression turned soft and his smile went a little crooked. Koutarou loved when Kuroo looked at him like that, because it was the smile Tetsurou reserved for the people and things that he was the fondest of. Koutarou stretched up to his full height, but he still needed to rock up on his tiptoes just a little to kiss Tetsu, because the guy didn’t quit growing until their second year of college, and Koutarou stopped right after high school.

It was a chaste kiss, but nice nonetheless. When Koutarou rocked back down onto the balls of his feet he reached over and took Kuroo’s hand in his. “I guess since we found your shell, we can just enjoy the beach and the starry sky.”

Tetsurou apparently wanted another kiss, because before answering he leaned down and pressed his lips softly to Koutarou's before he said, “Yep, and that crappy new moon.”

“Hey, I like the new moon. It feels like new beginnings,” Koutarou told his…boyfriend, yes, boyfriend. That was definitely the right word for Tetsu.

“Oh. Yeah it sort of does, doesn’t it? Kind of like us?” Tetsurou asked, giving Koutarou another fond, crooked smile.

Koutarou enthusiastically agreed.

———-

Epilogue:

Koutarou packed the last of his clothes into one of the moving boxes Tetsu had tracked down for him. Koutarou didn’t actually have much stuff, so packing didn’t take very long, and maybe that was why none of this seemed real. Koutarou couldn’t believe after all these years he was moving back in with Tetsu. 

"I want to start a little neighborhood clinic. Maybe in a town by the sea?” Kuroo had explained to Koutarou as they drove back from their beach excursion. “And I want you to help me run it. I know that’s a lot to ask since we’re dating now and whatnot, but I need someone I trust to handle the non-doctor stuff.”  

Koutarou had been very clear that he was not a nurse, but Kuroo had told him that wasn’t the role he wanted Koutarou to take up. He needed an office manager, which was a duty that Koutarou kind of did now at his crappy job, even though he wasn’t monetarily compensated for the extra responsibility. The difference would be that this job was with Tetsu doing something that would also help people. It sounded like a major step up, and the salary Tetsurou quoted him was good money. 

“Hey, are you almost finished?” Kuroo asked, wiping away the sweat that had accumulated on his forehead. 

Koutarou's knee did not like it when he lugged heavy boxes up and down stairs, so Tetsu graciously offered to do it. Koutarou made a mental note to make it up to Tetsu tonight–a celebratory cold beer, a nice massage, and then they could break in the new bed with a round or two of fun. 

They still had a fairly lengthy drive ahead of them. Koutarou had been too cheap to hire a moving service, and he’d been too proud to let Kuroo pay for one either, so Koutarou and Kuroo were driving Koutarou's shit (in Tetsu’s nice new car) down to their new apartment together. 

Kuroo’s parents had already forwarded Tetsurou’s meager belongings to the new address in Atami City, minus the seashell collection that Kuroo’s mother had insisted her son pick up in person. That would be difficult since Kuroo’s parents had moved to somewhere in the Niigata Prefecture. Koutarou foresaw a roadtrip in their not-so-distant future.

Last week Koutarou and Kuroo had driven down to Atami City to sign the lease for the building they were renting. They also found furniture and purchased the necessary medical equipment for the small clinic space that was located directly below the apartment. Neither the apartment nor the clinic were large by any means, but both were theirs.  

And Koutarou really didn’t care how little it was. He had already happily shared his current tiny apartment with Tetsu for weeks while they planned everything out and Koutarou finished up with his previous job. Life was cozy being with Tetsu, and Koutarou felt both emotionally and physically better than he had in years. 

During those weeks, Tetsurou had also insisted on being Koutarou's gym buddy, and with Tetsu’s help, Koutarou's life fallen into an easy routine and he lost nine kilos in only a month. Tetsu gently reminded Koutarou that he probably wouldn't lose much more weight, because soon he'd be adding muscle but still losing the fat, meaning the number would go up instead of down, so don't look at the scale so much. 

Life was good.

“Hey, Earth to Koutarou, you finished with that box?” Kuroo asked again as he cocked his head to the side, both hands on his hips.

Koutarou used the roll of box tape to seal it shut and smiled up at his boyfriend. “Yep, all done.”

“Okay, well say goodbye to your apartment and let’s drop off the keys at the office,” Tetsu said as he hoisted the last box up with ease. 

It was not a light box, but Tetsurou had a wickedly toned core. Koutarou had discovered a little over a week ago just how much weight Tetsurou could lift and hold up, especially if he was assisted by something like a wall, or a kitchen counter, or Koutarou's legs wrapped around his waist. 

“Stop thinking about that,” Tetsurou told Koutarou, voice flat and unimpressed.

“What am I thinking about?” Koutarou asked his boyfriend with a waggle of his bushy eyebrows.

“Exactly what I’ve been thinking about all day, but we have crap to move, a long drive, and I’m starving,” Tetsu said as he pivoted on his foot and walked right out the door with the last box. 

Well, dammit. Patience wasn’t exactly something that Koutarou excelled at, but knowing Tetsu, it would be worth the wait.

“Bye-bye shitty apartment. Bye-bye shitty life,” Koutarou whispered as he did a quick one-over, grabbed his jacket and keys, and hurried down the stairs. 

Koutarou gave the property manager the apartment keys and headed outside. Kuroo was waiting by the curb, casually leaning against his red Toyota Prius hatchback. It was extremely practical, unlike the fully loaded Mazda Miata that Koutarou had wanted his boyfriend to buy. Koutarou even convinced Tetsurou to take the Miata out for a test drive, but it was to no avail. Tetsu was too pragmatic for such a shiny and completely impractical sportscar. 

Tetsurou dangled the Prius’ key in front of Koutarou. One of the things Kuroo had neglected to do after purchasing the car was to transfer his current Swedish driver’s license. 

“Do I look like your chauffeur?” Koutarou asked as he snatched the smart key and put it in his pocket before heading around to the driver’s side door.

“Well, that’s not a half bad springboard for tonight,” Kuroo said as he climbed into the passenger seat.

“Mmmm, naughty chauffeur. I kind of like it. I do know how to drive a stick ,” Koutarou joked as he plopped into the driver’s seat and leaned over to give Tetsu a kiss. 

The kiss made Tetsurou blush, because there were people right outside on the sidewalk, rushing by, lost in their own lives, but Tetsu was still very much not a PDA kind of person. Well, Koutarou thought as he pushed the power button, being the exhibitionist in the relationship, that was something he could help Tetsurou improve.

Koutarou did one last check of the car as he adjusted the seat and the rearview mirror. He used one finger to spin a little cardboard air freshener that hung from the mirror. Koutarou had bought it for Tetsu to remind him of that first night they’d gotten together. The scent was called ‘Night Ocean’ and Koutarou liked how it smelled a lot. However, the thing that made it special was the fact that it was a illustrated cutout of a dark beach with a palm tree (which there hadn’t been any of those on their trip, but that didn’t matter), a moon, and a navy background dotted with tiny silver stars. That beach would always mean everything to Koutarou, because it was when he got his life back, when he got Tetsu back.

“Stop smiling like an idiot and drive,” Tetsurou teased him and then draped a hand on the back of Koutarou's neck and played with the short tufts of hair at the nape. It felt nice, but every part of being with Tetsurou felt nice.

“Love you,” Koutarou said quietly as he put the car in drive and eased it into the flow of traffic.

“Love you too, Kou,” Tetsurou echoed with a grin.