Work Text:
-------
It doesn’t like having its young not-self wandering around. The Mick Rory the Pilgrim tried to murder isn’t it, but they have to rescue not-it anyways; if its host gets killed, who knows what will happen to it? It would probably survive, but it might be ripped away from Len.
But looking at not-it makes its skin crawl. It doesn’t exactly feel guilty; taken one man’s body is much preferable to the fiery alternative. But Mick Rory didn’t deserve to have his life taken away from him; he hadn’t done anything that terrible. Usually, it tried to take hosts that were disgusting enough that they didn’t deserve their bodies.
But it had been in a rush, having just been accepted by Len after months of wooing. It needed an intimidating, criminal body, preferably somewhere in Central City. Mick Rory’s predisposition for fire had made him the perfect host.
So no, it doesn’t regret its choice. But that doesn’t mean it wants to have to face the man it murdered ethier.
(When it sees not-it leaning against the hallway wall staring into the flame of a match, something twists in its stomach. It tells him it’s not his fault, he was just a kid. It may have to kill him later, but it’ll make his life better while it can.)
---------
The worst part of being hunted by the Pilgrim isn’t that he could die any minute. No, it’s thinking about what could happen in the process of his death. What if the Pilgrim messes up and kills Lisa instead? What if she kills Len too early and Lisa is never born? Even if Lisa survives the Pilgrim, what happens to her if Len isn’t around to protect her from their father?
But there’s nothing he can do to help her, so he just tells himself to deal with it. Even worse; he can’t help rescue his younger self, because it would cause a paradox. So he paces through the back hallways of the ship, digging his fingernails into his palms in order to fend off the dark thoughts. Fortunately, Mick is on the team retrieving him, so he can use the calm from the link to reassure himself.
Once they bring his younger self back onto the ship, the discomfort lessens. Now he doesn’t have to worry about his sister, he only has to worry about how irritating it is for his teammates to see him as a child. Ugh, they probably think he’s cute.
(He pretends it’s just irritation because they’re cooing at his baby self. It’s not that them seeing him so vulnerable makes him want to rip himself away from them and keep himself safe. He tells himself he’s afraid for his baby self because of the Pilgrim. He’s not afraid of his teammates, he trusts them, he knows they aren’t going to hurt himself, he knows that, really,
he does
...)