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1. The Obvious Child
Cuddy gives up on the fertility treatments and sells her baby books to the secondhand store.
Because that's how things happen, she's pregnant within two months.
Problem is, it's House's. Problem with that, other than the obvious is: one, it was conceived (embarrassingly enough) in a one time fit of angry sex on her desk; two, House is away in court-ordered rehab; three, Wilson's the one waking up in her bed.
Cuddy goes out alone for one last glass of champagne and raises a health to Murphy's Law, not even mad that she'll have to buy those damn books back.
2. Can't Run But
The oxycodone doesn't do it for him like the Vicodin. The damn PT nurses have been instructed to switch his cane if they catch him using it on the wrong side. Wilson's talking to him, but House keeps catching him making doe eyes at Cuddy when (only when, which is the worst part) they think he's not looking.
The sole joy of life in the last three months was watching Tritter get put away on corruption and police brutality charges.
It may be a new game, but House'll be goddamned if he isn't going to play on his own terms.
3. The Coast
House knows something's up when Cuddy authorizes his insane travel request for the joke conference in Hawaii, but he doesn't get worried until he finds out that she and Wilson are going as well.
When Wilson tells him that Cuddy wants to talk to them, House heads for the bar and doesn't come out until the world's a little friendlier.
Cuddy sits them down in her room, wringing her hands uncharacteristically. When she finally spits out that she wants both of them to help raise the baby, all House can do is laugh and thank God nobody's dead or engaged.
4. Proof
In the middle of a sentence, Cuddy grabs Wilson's hand and presses it to her stomach.
Wilson isn't sure what he's supposed to feel (kicking, yeah, but that goes without saying). He's been happy about the baby- thrilled, even- but now he's not so sure. The idea's nice, but when comes down to it, what stake does he really have in this at all?
When he tells House later, intending to air his doubts, House's joy unexpectedly overflows, and he grabs Wilson and plants one on him.
That's when Wilson realizes that it's not just about the baby after all.
5. Further to Fly
The first time they try it together, it almost doesn't happen. Cuddy's (let's face it) huge and awkward, it's a bad pain day for House, and Wilson can only focus on their problems. At one point, they only continue because House hobbles over and locks the door (from the outside, which'll be fun later).
After a lot of swearing and only one elbow thrown, they finally find something that works, and Cuddy doesn't know why they didn't start doing this years ago.
Then House shifts the wrong way and hits her in the back of the head, and she remembers.
6. She Moves On
House's fellows aren't blind to the drama playing out around them. Chase looks vaguely uncomfortable every time the subject comes up, so House makes sure to bring it up as often as possible. Foreman rolls his eyes, always wanting to get back to work. Cameron looks like someone shot her dog.
Somewhere in month eight, House catches Cameron in a corridor on his way home. Blushing, she introduces him to the man she's with. He's tall, devastatingly handsome, and (House can't help but notice) in possession of only one arm.
House's first thought is to congratulate her on trading up.
7. Born at the Right Time
A week after the due date, House pries Wilson away from Cuddy's bedside (at her insistence) and gets him good and drunk.
Wilson hasn't eaten in a day and a half, and the liquor hits him hard. Three drinks, and he's embarrassingly pliable. House wastes no time in maneuvering him into bed (Wilson objects for just a moment, but House shuts him up quick).
Wilson wakes up to the sound of the shower. For the first time in a month, he feels totally calm.
Then both their pagers go off at the same time, and Wilson lunges for his clothes.
8. The Cool, Cool River
There's a point where House has scared away all the nurses, and it's just the four of them.
None of them will say (what they all know) that this is the most ridiculous thing they've ever done, that they're just setting up all their lives (and hers) to be as complicated as possible.
But they've all decided (tacitly again- maybe Wilson will tell Cuddy after House goes to bed) that this is how they want it, for as long as it takes.
Though he tries to tell himself it's too early, House can't help but think she's got his eyes.
9. Spirit Voices
After everything else they've settled (Religion: Judaism. Room: Green. Baseball team: Red Sox), nomenclature presents a problem.
It's Mom who brings up the name issue first- if she's all of theirs, how can she just be Cuddy? Dad counters; three names are too many, and Wilson and House are out since Mom's not changing her name.
Uncle Greg bemoans the fact that they can't just all change their names, since they're not all madly in love or stuck with each other or anything.
Mom and Dad hate it when he's right.
They do draw the line at the Stones, though.
10. The Rhythm of the Saints
Time makes even the most complicated things mundane.
Cuddy finally wins against the insurance company (who somehow can't fathom this whole situation). The mailroom just lumps all their letters together and leaves them for someone else (Cameron) to sort out. The daycare doesn't ask any questions that don't involve naps and cereal.
Somehow, the universe rights itself and sucks them in again, fitting them back into the pattern, right where they belong.
Somehow, in spite of them, everything works out the way it's supposed to, and their new lives weave together like they should.
(Separate blankets- that's the real secret.)