Work Text:
Damilton: Someone come to Subway with me
Angeli-kickyourass: Alexander we have been over this
Angeli-kickyourass: You dont need other people to order at subway for you
Damilton: THEY ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS I DONT LIKE IT
BenTolMadge: My dude why go to Subway just make your own sandwiches??
Damilton: I usually do tbh but i dont have the stuff in because SOMEONE ate all of it durng his binge of Hannibal
JeSuisChrist: You bitch i had one of the panini bread rolls and suddenly i ate all of it
Damilton: You ate the LAST panini roll and you put ALL of MY vegetables on it
JeSuisChrist: Just put something else on it?? We have sandwich stuff in??? Just leave the vegetables??
Damilton: Laf have you even checked our fridge since you took all the food
JeSuisChrist: I know we had some stuff left?
Damilton: Yea, a bunch of fancy meats Laf.
JeSuisChrist: oh OH SHIT REALLY?? IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT WE HAD OTHER STUFF AHHH
Trolley: Do you not eat meat Alexander?
Damilton: Nah I'm Vegan
BenTolMadge: Yooo same
Damilton: Yaas
BenTolMadge: I have veg and stuff if you wanna come over and make sandwiches if you want??
BenTolMadge: That sounds kinda weird because i have literally never met you but y'know if i can save you from having to go to subway
Damilton: I mean sure i dont think your an axe murderer so ya where you live fam
BenTolMadge: I'll PM you my dude
Damilton: Aight
Pegarita: Caan i comee im bored
BenTolMadge: Sure my gal
Pegarita: Yaaas
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Pegarita: Here is Peggy Schuyler Live Blogging the first ever meeting of Ben TallMadge and Alexander Hamil-Schuy
BenTolMadge: Why?
NarrativeControl: We're testing a family theory which requires us to take note of peoples first reactions to Alexander
Damilton: Thats a fancy way of saying they think im weak and want to know if they need to protect me from people
Pegarita: Yeaaa
BenTolMadge: Dont worry my dudes im probs not gonna hurt Alexander?? Aslong as he isnt like a Nazi or a Dickwad??
Damilton: Thank you
BenTolMadge: Y'all nearly here??
Pegarita: We have stepped out of the Elevator
BenTolMadge: CoolCool
SicklyAndPrickly: Has anyone seen my girlfriends
Trolley: James im right here
SicklyAndPrickly: Did you take my grey hoodie?
Trolley: No???
SicklyAndPrickly: Angelica I want my fucking hoodie back
BenTolMadge: I did not realise they're in a Poly relationship
Angeli-kickyourass: Really? We are pretty loud about it
Angeli-kickyourass: and fuck off James this hoodie is mine now
SicklyAndPrickly: You motherfucker that is my best hoodie i will get it back
Angeli-kickyourass: fight me
BenTolMadge: This is cute but why is Alexander so small?? This boi so smol?
Damilton: NOoooooOOooOoOoooOoOOOoo
BenTolMadge: I just want to protect him is this how you feel on a daily bases
BenTolMadge: You need food. Im making you food. PEGGY GRAB ME AN AVACADO
Damilton: Yes please make me food i am hungry but i do not need protecting
Angeli-kickyourass: This entire chat exists because you were to weak to open a Jar
BenTolMadge: Thats so precious. You are my precious son. Adopted.
Turtle.Boi: Alexander's already been adopted
ABurrSir: I mean i agree with Benjamin, the boy is very small
MacaroniAndMe: Where's Alexander
Pegarita: Sulking
4SetsOfCorsets: Where have you been Thomas
MacaroniAndMe: I got lunch with my Martha and Theo
DangDiggityDosia: Hey im eating just remember i exist
ABurrSir: Like we would forget you???
Pegarita: Lmao Theo who?
DangDiggityDosia: Theo who will hide your sex toys if you keep it up, babs
LittleRedDress: Please do not do that
Pegarita: Yes, my little Demisexual, protect my honour
ABurrSir: I thought you where asexual Maria???
LittleRedDress: I thought so to but then as i got closer to Theo and Peggy and i was like,,, shit,,, want the sexy times here???
LittleRedDress: So we came to the realisation that i figured i was Asexual because i was not close to James like at all and we just kinda figured,, it,, out i guess???
Turtle.Boi: Good for you Maria
NarrativeControl: Congrats!
ABurrSir: Your still have a place on our Asexual Superhero team tho
LittleRedDress: Oh hell yea the Sexless Vixen will never die
Damilton: Thats a funny Juxtaposition can i use that
LittleRedDress: I dont know what a Juxtaposition is but okay
SicklyAndPrickly: Its a fancy word for Oxymoron
LittleRedDress: not a clue.
BenTolMadge: Dear Child do you want lettuce or cabbage on your panini
Damilton: I would like Cabbage Father
JeSuisChrist: You too to him being your dad pretty quickly
Pegarita: He is swaddled on Bens couch with a bottle of water and Gordon Ramsey Compilations on a laptop because Ben was upset he was sulking
Damilton: Bens a really good dad??? Like SchcuyDad is my Dad but Bens nice and this is nice and sue me okay i like this
BenTolMadge: I should fucking hope im a good dad i am one
LittleRedDress: Legit??
BenTolMadge: Yea i have a 2 year old, William Smith Tallmadge
Damilton: awwwwwwwww he's really cute
Pegarita: Ben is showing us pictures of this child and he is very cute
4SetsOfCorsets: Okay but did you name your child after Will Smith
BenTolMadge: No but i have no problem with you thinking that the dude is dope
MacaroniAndMe: Im still at lunch but Alexander Martha says she has finished your skirt thing
Damilton: Yaaaaaaaaaas i will be the prettiest merman
MacaroniAndMe: Want me to drop it at your dorm for you?
Damilton: Yes please thank you
Pegarita: This is a public service announcement: Ben can make very good sandwiches
BenTolMadge: Im glad to see my skills are appreciated
Damilton: I'll eat in a second i just had a story idea lemme right it down
JeSuisChrist: Get any writing utensils away from him or he will not eat until he has written the first draft of whatever it is
Pegarita: Done it
BenTolMadge: Does this happen often?
Damilton: Fight me peggo
Turtle.Boi: Yea it does
Trolley: Y'all ever shut up
Angeli-kickyourass: Doll get of your fecking phone
4SetsOfCorsets: Where have you two been??
Trolley: We went to Angelica's to get Jemmy's Hoodie
Angeli-kickyourass: It escalated
BenTolMadge: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Angeli-kickyourass: No.
Damilton: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
JeSuisChrist: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Turtle.boi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Trolley: ... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Angeli-kickyourass: Ohmygod Dolley no
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KinkGeorge: I hate you all why do you all get active when im not around
NarrativeControl: Where have you been??
KinkGeorge: I got a part time job lmao
4SetsOfCorsets: Why you are a literal prince of England??
KinkGeorge: Its sommet do, innit?
Damilton: Ew, english meme
DangDiggityDosia: Where are you working?
KinkGeorge: At Subway
BenTolMadge: screEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE