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In case you haven't noticed, it wasn't easy for Bilbo Baggins to keep his dwarf family safe, especially when there were trolls and goblins still alive in Middle Earth, looking to avenge the death of Azog the Defiler. That evil Orc had sworn to kill off the entire line of Durin and anyone who associated with the Durin family. (Which was kind of unfair for him, as not only did Thorin and his nephews Fili and Kili take him down, but their cousin Dwalin helped. Plus, with Balin, Oin, and Gloin on their side and angry with Azog for daring to mess with their cousins, Azog didn't stand a chance against the Durins.
And neither did his son Bolg.)
Anyway, here's where the story begins:
When Bilbo returned to the Shire with THREE dwarves in tow, his house and everything inside it was being auctioned off. As in, the Sackville-Baggins family was about to sell everything Bilbo's family owned and move into Bag End.
There was no way Bilbo would allow this to happen, not on his watch.
"What's going on here?" Bilbo snapped, which caused everyone to stop whatever they were doing and stare at him. "What are you doing on my property?"
"I should have known you'd show up!" Lobelia glared at him. "You of all people would dare sneak away for 13 months and return to the Shire wearing that dwarvish filth!"
"Now, let's give him a chance to explain himself,“ said Holman Greenhand as he glared at Lobelia. The other Hobbits nodded in agreement as Bilbo stood on a soapbox next to the auction pulpit. He said, ”If case you haven’t noticed, last year, Gandalf saw fit to come here and disrupt my life. He had 13 dwarves come into my house, where they ate all the food, drank all the wine, and threw my dishes around!“
“Oh, you know you liked it, Bilbo,” said Fili.
“And I won’t mention that Gandalf had the nerve to throw their leader into my path,“ Bilbo continued, as if Fili hadn’t interrupted him. ”And he wasn’t nice about it either. That dwarf had to nerve to refer to me as a grocer…“
At this, most of the Hobbits hearing the story began laughing. Bilbo’s face turned bright red and he covered his face in embarrassment. Kili then said, “Well, when our uncle met Bilbo, you could say it was love at first sight, or what have you…“
“Kili!” Thorin and Fili yelled.
“What are you two worried about?” said Kili. “I mean, Uncle Thorin stared at Bilbo the same way I stared at Tauriel when I first met her…“
“Oh no! Not THAT again!” Fili cried out. “Mom will have your beard if she finds out you’re bonded to an elf.”
“I don’t have a beard to begin with!“ Kili cried out. ”Anyway, when Bilbo met Uncle Thorin, well, it wasn’t exactly love at first sight. I mean, Thorin was downright rude to him…“
“Ooooh,” said the other Hobbits.
“And to make matters worse, Thorin wasn’t impressed with Bilbo’s gentlemanly ways,” said Fili.
“So how did Bilbo end up with your uncle?” said a random Hobbit.
“It wasn’t easy,” said Kili. “Uncle Thorin said Bilbo had no place in his company, which was pretty mean. In fact, Bilbo at one point contemplated leaving the Company and returning home. But that was before he found his courage and saved our uncle from certain death…“
“And then Thorin hugged him,” said Fili. “Which was odd because until then, Thorin never showed Bilbo any appreciation...”
The other Hobbits cheered as Lobelia glared at Bilbo. Bilbo continued to get redder than his prize-winning tomatoes as Fili and Kili continued the story, from the escape from Mirkwood to Bilbo vouching for Thorin in Laketown. There was also the matter of dealing with Smaug and the battle that occurred with the Orcs. (Of course, Fili and Kili just HAD to bring up the part when Thorin gave Bilbo the mithril coat, which had more than a few Hobbits gasping in awe.)
Bilbo said, “Can I talk to you boys privately?”
“About what?” said Fili.
“You can’t just go around telling everyone our business,” said Bilbo. “Who knows what might happen if the wrong person finds out about where I’ve been. Can we agree to keep my adventures a secret?“
“And not let the other Hobbits know the truth?" said Kili. "You must be kidding! Everyone and their brother wants to know where you've been. Besides, it's not like anyone will tell the Orcs where we are."
"And that's the last thing I want to hear," said Bilbo.
OK, to make this long story short, Bilbo forced everyone to put everything back in Bag End (and he even forced Lobelia to give him back his stolen silverware) and told everyone to leave, as he was still alive and his house was NOT for sale, thank you very much.
By the way, many Hobbits told their friends and neighbors about Bilbo's adventures with the dwarves, which was how everyone in the Shire found out the truth about Bilbo and Thorin's relationship. Thus creating the Great Shire Conspiracy.
And that's for another story.