Chapter Text
It was more uncommon than not for Javier to find Shoma Uno without Yuzuru there, teasing the hell out of the young skater. Almost anytime Javier ran into Shoma, it was with Yuzuru at one of their sides. It was even stranger for Shoma to have been the one to seek Javier out on his own. It wasn’t that Javier didn’t like the kid. He was, as Yuzuru constantly reminded everyone, the most adorable teenager Javier had ever seen. He was always amazed Shoma didn’t get sick of everybody ruffling his hair and pinching his cheeks and treating him like the little boy his baby-face made him appear to be. Javier had thought Yuzuru looked tiny and boyish when he first joined the senior division, but Shoma usually actually got mistaken for a juniors skater by rink workers who didn’t actually pay attention to the sport taking place on their ice.
Because of his boyish looks, Javier was a little surprised by the deviousness he was displaying currently.
“What?” Javier asked, wondering if Shoma’s English was not what he meant to say.
Shoma gave a grin that looked very wrong on his innocent-looking face. “Say where Yuzuru since you always attached at dick.”
Javier chuckled uncomfortably. “I think you mean ‘hip’ there, that’s-“
“Oh no, know what mean,” Shoma said with that same grin. He looked like a bad child instead of an innocent one now. He gestured at Javier. “When in Canada, you always with, yes? When home, Yuzuru always-“ He raised a hand and started opening and closing it as he rolled his eyes and made dramatic faces. “Blah blah blah Javi blah blah more Javi blah blah Javi always.” Javier raised a confused eyebrow, trying to figure out what the hell this kid was going on about. Shoma shrugged. “He say sleep in Javi bed so think you know where is Yuzuru now.” He tilted his head. “You know not?” he asked and Javier blinked a few times.
“Eh, no. I don’t know where Yuzuru is right now,” he said, answering his question. “Also, are you saying you think he and I are together?”
“No, if together I find him,” Shoma said as if Javier were stupid, and Javier waved a hand.
“I mean you think we’re dating? Boyfriends?” he said, trying to find a word Shoma would understand.
Shoma nodded. “Yuzuru Javi boyfriend, yes.”
Javier shook his head. “Yuzu and I are not together.”
“Yes, yes, understand,” Shoma said, nodding a few times. “Not know where Yuzu-boyfriend is-“
“No, Yuzuru is not my boyfriend,” he explained further and Shoma rolled his eyes.
“Okay, okay, sex friend,” he said and Javier quickly panicked, trying to stop him. Shoma smirked in a way that made Javier realize that kid knew exactly what was going on and was doing this all on purpose. “I go. Look for Yuzu, tell sex friend cannot find. You have sex friend back speed,” he said, and he winked before he walked away, heading towards the lobby of the hotel.
~
Javier didn’t actually see Yuzuru until he got to rehearsal and Yuzuru was already on the ice for warmups, skating around with Kanako. Rather than call him over, he simply got onto the ice himself, sipping his water at the boards before tossing the bottle onto the bench just off the ice. He joined the others who were all just skating around, getting warmed up, and ended up getting roped into playing keep-away with Alex as they tossed Maia’s water bottle back and forth where she couldn’t jump to reach it.
Once she finally leapt high enough to catch it, they gave up and skated away, laughing like children at her annoyed face. “Hey, did Shoma ever find you?” Alex asked, and Javier raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, but how did you know? He told me he was looking for Yuzuru and thought I might know where he was,” he said, and Alex made a face.
“What? Weird.” He shook his head. “He told me he was looking for you, not Yuzuru. I could’ve told him where Yuzuru was, he was going over choreography with Mao,” he explained. “Although, I still don’t know what Shoma’s saying half the time, and I don’t think he knows what I’m saying half the time. So who knows,” Alex said and Javier snorted.
“I have a suspicion that kid knows far more English than he lets on, my friend,” he said, thinking back to Shoma’s ‘attached at the dick’ comment. “I wouldn’t be fooled by that innocent face,” he warned, and Alex rolled his eyes.
“Yeah right, he’s the sweetest. I want to adopt him. I’m going to start telling people he’s my son,” he decided and Javier snickered at how silly Alex could be sometimes. “Speaking of,” he said, spotting Shoma ahead of them. “HEY, SHOMA!” he called, skating away towards him, leaving Javier to continue on his own.
After doing a few light jumps to get his knees working, he went to get some water and, while he was drinking, Yuzuru himself skidded to a stop by him. “You were kind of late getting here, I saw. Everything okay?” he asked, and Javier nodded.
“Oh yeah, just talking to Shoma.” He glanced around to see if anybody was nearby and they were pretty alone. “Hey, who has been teaching that kid to say dirty things in English?”
Yuzuru’s eyes widened. “He what?”
Javier snickered. “Oh yeah, someone taught him the word ‘dick’, and it was the word he wanted to say, not something someone taught him as a joke.”
Yuzuru looked shocked. “But he is usually very sweet,” he said, looking confused. “He did not call you that right?” he asked, looking very concerned and Javier snorted.
“Oh no, he was making assumptions about my sex life, so he was definitely talking about the body part,” he said and Yuzuru made a confused face.
“What? Why would Shoma-kun talk about you and sex?” He shook his head, muttering something under his breath. “That makes no sense.”
Javier shrugged. “Hey, you can take that up with him. He was being very strange.”
Yuzuru nodded. “I must talk to him later. That is very strange.”
~
It only got weirder from there. Every time he and Yuzuru goofed off on ice, he would glance around and find Shoma smirking deviously at the two of them. It was becoming uncomfortable. The kid was everywhere, too. Javier and Yuzuru would come out of Javier’s hotel room and Shoma would be in the hallway. They would go out for dinner with some of the others and Shoma would always be across the table from Javier. It was like everywhere he turned, Shoma was there, with this creepy, devious look on his face.
Javier tried talking to others about it, asking if they thought Shoma was being odd lately, but it seemed nobody was willing to even consider that sweet little Shoma, everybody’s baby brother, could possibly be anything but innocent and adorable.
Also, he would not stop calling Yuzuru his ‘sex friend’. “Javi!” Shoma fell into step with him in the back hallway, always walking extremely awkwardly in his skates when he was off the ice. Javier had never seen anyone look less graceful in skates than Shoma was when he wasn’t actually performing and yet be ridiculously graceful during his performance. “Sex friend look for. He say go hotel room but no answer.”
Javier rolled his eyes. “Yuzuru, who is not my ‘sex friend’, already told me, but thank you,” he said, trying to stay polite. Just because the kid was being weird didn’t mean he should be rude. “He was in the locker room when I changed.”
He realized a moment too late that that was the wrong thing to say, because that innocent look became far more devious. “Oh clothes off, eh. Bad bad,” he said in a mocking tone as he shook his head. “Public not sex place.”
“Since we are not having sex, there was no sex in the locker room. I was just changing into my training clothes,” he defended, and Shoma giggled.
“Okay. I believe.” He winked in a way that said he did not at all believe before he turned and headed back the way he came. “Skate good, sex friend!” he called, and Javier wanted to slap himself in the face at the scandalized look the janitor by the water fountains gave him at that.
~
Eventually, he had to ask about it. Though it was something very awkward to bring up with Yuzuru, he needed someone to talk to Shoma. “Hey, did you ever get to the bottom of who was teaching Shoma dirty things?” he asked, trying to sound casual.
Yuzuru looked at him and made a ridiculous face – something Yuzuru did a lot, and with talent – and waved a hand. “He says you hear him wrong. He did not say word you said. He does not know what it means.”
Javier actually stopped in his tracks, jaw going slack. Yuzuru turned back to look at him and he shook his head. “No, Yuzuru, he definitely knows what he was saying, because he said something about me having a boyfriend, and when I said no, he said ‘well fine, sex friend’,” he stressed. “Shoma definitely said ‘dick’ and knew what he said.”
Yuzuru’s head whipped around and he frowned. “But you don’t have boyfriends, so that is silly. Why would Shoma say such things?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Javier said. “He keeps saying it,” he confessed. “He keeps making remarks about my ‘sex friend’ and giving me this creepy little look. It’s like everywhere I turn, there’s this little demon leering at me!”
“Hey, Shoma-kun not a demon,” he defended, giving him a chastising look. “He is nice boy. Not creepy or a demon.” Javier rolled his eyes and Yuzuru frowned. “What’s ‘lee- leel- leering?”
Javier tried to think of how to describe it. “It’s like- like staring but in a creepy way. Like how that doorman was looking at the girls when we got off the bus,” he said and Yuzuru’s eyes widened with understanding and he nodded.
“Oooh.” He frowned again. “Wait, Shoma does not leering,” he said defensively.
“Well he does at me!” Javier said, grabbing Yuzuru’s shoulders lightly to shake him playfully. “Yuzuuuu,” he whined, growling some. “Why do you not believe me?! Nobody believes me, but he is being strange! You of all people usually trust me,” he complained. He slid his hands down to rest on Yuzuru’s arms and pouted playfully. “Why don’t you trust Javi?”
Yuzuru giggled and rolled his eyes, grabbing Javier’s wrists. “I trust Javi always,” he said with a toss of his hair. “I just think Javi misunderstands Shoma. Shoma is nice. Not creepy.”
Javier sighed and looped an arm around Yuzuru’s shoulders, tugging him along. “You’re all going to be in for a shock when one day he turns on the rest of you,” he warned. “Sweet little Shoma Uno is going to end up collecting all the secrets and publishing them online. Mark my words, his English is better than people think, so they probably say things they don’t want him to really understand within range of him.”
Yuzuru cackled. “Shoma has bad English. Even I have good English compared to Shoma. Most of time he just pretends he knows what you say to him. Believe me, Shoma just did not know what he says.”
Javier didn’t believe that for a second, but he decided to let it drop, lest he have to confess that Shoma was calling Yuzuru Javier’s ‘sex friend’.