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“...You don’t know how to peel an apple, do you?”
Nursey whipped his head up to see Dex staring at him, an eyebrow raised. They were in the kitchen trying to make a pie for Ransom and Lardo’s birthdays, and it was going okay—but definitely not thanks to Nursey. He’d been trying to peel the same apple for the last five minutes. “Um,” Nursey said. “Well, I’ve never had to, you know, peel stuff before—”
“It’s literally not that hard,” Dex said. “I’d chirp you about how helpless you are, but I really just want to get this done. Let me show you.”
He stood at Nursey’s side, took the apple and the peeler, and started to demonstrate. “See?” he said, gripping the peeler tight. He shucked three long strips of apple peel into the sink and then handed the tool and the apple back to Nursey. “It’s not hard—you’re just incompetent.”
“Well thanks, that’s a relief,” Nursey said. Dex hip-checked him, and Nursey hip-checked him back.
“Since when are you so good at baking, then, huh Dex?” Nursey asked quietly after a moment or two of silence. “I remember you dissing baking back when we were frogs—”
“We’re still the frogs, Nursey.”
“Yeah, I know, I know. I just... Now it seems like more often than not you’re the one helping Bitty bake,” Nursey said. “What changed?”
Dex shrugged, bowing his head. “A lot of things have changed since freshman year, Nursey. I’ve changed,” he said, flattening out the pie crust dough with a rolling pin. The sleeves of his flannel were rolled up past his elbows, and there was flour coating his forearms. “I guess I’ve managed to get to a point where I can just like the things I like without caring as much about what other people think.”
“Oh. Huh.” He hadn’t expected to get such a deep response. He and Dex didn’t talk about feelings very much. It was... strange, but not unwelcome, Nursey thought. He watched Dex continue to work the dough, spreading it out evenly over the counter with careful, practiced movements. He looked calm, for once. Dex was right—he had changed a lot. This wasn’t the Republican from Maine he met at taddy tour two years ago. This boy was soft, and kind-hearted, and he smiled at the goslings in the pond during the spring. This Dex chirped Nursey about his clumsiness and came to Nursey’s slam poetry nights and kicked his feet under the table when they studied at Annie’s. Somehow, Dex was his best friend.
Within the last year or so the color of Dex’s hair had stopped being about wildfires and caution signals and hazmat suits—instead it kept showing up in Nursey’s poetry as midsummer sunsets, copper pennies at the bottom of wishing wells, Ziplocs of goldfish crackers in brown-bag lunches, thai tea on a warm night, Icelandic poppies, monarch butterflies, sandstone arches, tiger lilies, persimmons, the smell of citrus. His eyes had started to make Nursey think of amber, or maybe topaz, and—
Oh.
The revelation came quietly, as though he were remembering something he’d already known. It was not earthshattering. Nursey felt more like he was turning the light on in a familiar room, or finally learning the lyrics to a song he’d been enjoying for months on the radio.
He was in love with Dex. He was completely and utterly head-over-heels for him.
Dex was just finishing rolling out the pie crust and had started to lay it carefully into the pie tin when Nursey finally came back to himself. The sun was still shining through the kitchen window. He was still holding an apple and a peeler in his hands. They still had a pie to bake. Time kept moving ahead, even if it seemed to flow to a slightly different beat.
“You gonna finish peeling that, or are you gonna keep staring?” Dex asked without looking at him, a small smile on his lips. Nursey grinned back, a little stupidly.
“Okay, okay. Chill man. I’m working on it. Give this poor kid a break, yeah?”
“The only poor thing about you is your taste in movies,” Dex quipped. “You don’t need any breaks.”
“Shit, man, you’re not pulling any punches today.”
“Hey, I gotta make up for not chirping you more about the apple peeler thing.”
“I thought you said you just wanted to get it done.”
“I do,” Dex said, glancing sideways, “and I cannot believe you’re still working on the same goddamn apple.”
Nursey scraped a bit of the peel off the apple and flicked it at Dex for emphasis. In retaliation, Dex threw a bit of flour in this face.
“What’s with you today?” Dex asked when Nursey didn’t even strike back. Nursey just shrugged.
“Nothing,” he said, smiling. “S’all good.”
Yeah. This was what it felt like to be in love. He just couldn’t believe he hadn’t recognized it sooner.