Chapter Text
Mikey: SOS
Mikey: send help
Mikey: guys im going to d i e
Mikey: someone answer!!
Donnie: aren’t you supposed to be in class
Mikey: i’m having a crisis
Leo: your last crisis was triggered by us running out of goldfish crackers
Casey: i mean they’re the only snack that smiles back
Mikey: so not the point dudes
Mikey: i left my SSR book at home! :(
Donnie: you still have to do SSR?
Raph: you own a book?
Mikey: (very funny raph >:I) and yeah i have to do the stupid SSR! I hate it but if i walk into that class without a book i’ll get an F for today’s participation point and that’ll bump my grade down to a D
Casey: okay so what’s SSR? That’s an acronym and it doesn't spell a cool word so it must be boring
Donnie: sustained silent reading
Donnie: it's a middle school thing but i guess mikey…
Donnie: isn’t in the highest english
Mikey: OUCH
April: guys im in the middle of class and trying to pay attention
Raph: me too
Casey: Raph we’re in the same class I can see you
Casey: you’re just linking washable markers into a big stick
Raph: it takes a lot of focus
April: mikey, why don’t you just always carry around a book?
Mikey: i’m dyslexic what am i supposed to do with a book
Mikey: during SSR i literally just stare at it
Mikey: trying to train myself to sleep with my eyes open
Mikey: carrying it around would be like superman carrying around kryptonite!
Mikey: if kryptonite just like gave superman a headache
Casey: okay but imagine if reading could actually kill you how fucked up would that be
Casey: like you’re just trying to read the menu at mcdonalds and FUCK ur a gonner
Mikey: D:
Mikey: but seriously guys does anyone have a book I can borrow
Mikey: i’ll come get it
April: I’ve got Hamlet and The Stand
April: oh and the Handmaids Tale :0
Mikey: uh, love you april, but I need a book my teach would believe I’m reading
Donnie: Leo keeps a copy of animorphs in his bag at all times
Leo: first of all, how dare you expose me like this
Leo: second of all, are you implying animorphs isn’t on par with Hamlet?
Raph: dude it's a childrens series
Leo: “Horror, war, dehumanization, sanity, morality, innocence, leadership, freedom, and growing up are the core themes of the series.” - Animorphs wikipedia
April: what the fuck
April: but the covers are so ugly and stupid looking
Leo: it's what on the inside that counts like literally the phrase “don’t judge a book by it's cover” was a quote by someone who was really into animorphs
Donnie: I can’t believe George Eliot, one of the leading writers of the Victorian era, loved animorphs
Mikey: I’ll take the animorphs, Leo, you have AP Psych right now ya?
Leo: yeah
Mikey: k I’m gonna come grab it! Hope your teach doesn’t mind lol
Raph: can you believe our brave heroic big bro and caretaker Leonardo Hamato, straight A student, ninjutsu prodigy, carries around a copy of animorphs
Leo: this is who I am I won't hide it
Donnie: Mikey, I always have books you could’ve asked me
Mikey: yeah im REALLY aching to read your copy of theoretical statistics volume 2
Casey: that’s my favorite volume
Donnie: I don’t only carry around math books jfc
April: well obviously
April: you carry around science books too
Raph: who could forget modern quantum chemistry
Mikey: or “The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook”
Donnie: i feel attacked
Raph: you wanna know what my anxiety and phobia workbook looks like
Raph: marijuana
Leo: Raphael.
Raph: Leonardo
Mikey: Michelangelo!
Casey: god damnit this is just like that scene in shrek 2
April: do you think casey says that everytime he has sex
Donnie: no because that would imply he actually gets laid
Casey: ;^)
Donnie: stop
Mikey: just a little reminder that like, Leo specifically had the first animorphs book with him.
Mikey: Like, he’s prepared to recruit anyone at any given time
April: did your teacher buy it?
Mikey: totally, gotta hide my phone now though LATES <3
Raph: yo whose picking up mikey from the skate park after school, my bike’s still in the shop
Mikey: ? I was gonna take my board home
Raph: I know but it's raining
Mikey: dude rain doesn’t like, stop my board from working
Leo: no, Raph’s right, you’ll get a cold in the rain
Leo: I have work today I can’t get you, sorry lilttle bro
Donnie: i’ve got astronomy club until 8 and I’m getting a ride home from someone there
April: nerd
April: I’ve gotta go over to Irma’s house for a project :/
Mikey: guys I can get home by myself
Mikey: seriously, I’m 16 years old, don’t sweat it
Mikey: and I’ve walked home in the rain before? You guys have /made/ me walk home in the rain before
Donnie: it's raining extra hard this time though
Casey: I brought the truck I can getcha lil man
Mikey: haha ok, thanks casey
Mikey → Leatherhead
Mikey: yo LH?
Leatherhead: yes, michelangelo?
Mikey: can i aaaaassskkk you a quesssttiooon
Mikey: or, get your opinion I guess
Leatherhead: of course
Mikey: great! Okay so, do you think it's raining that hard today?
Mikey: thats not my question it's like my hook
Leatherhead: I don’t think it's that bad, no
Mikey: see?? My brothers think it's raining too hard to make me walk home
Mikey: now im in the car with casey and hes taking me back to the apartment
Mikey: dont get me wrong I vibe with jones (except his indescribable need to only play fiucking blink182)
Leatherhead: then what’s the issue? It’s best you don’t get wet and sick
Mikey: the issue is that last year, they would of done everything in their power to make sure i walked home in the rain
Mikey: just to be assholes
Leatherhead: so you’re upset that your brothers are being nice to you?
Mikey: i’m not upset i just think it's weird. Really weird.
Mikey: when we were little they were overly protective of me and junk but once sensei took us in they didn’t have to be and we were just, you know, brothers
Leatherhead: well, I think you just answered your own question, in regards to recent events.
Mikey: oh
Mikey: shit
Leatherhead: i’m sorry to bring it up
Mikey: no no I mean, technically i did haha
Mikey: can’t believe i’d be so stupid
Leatherhead: i don’t think it’s stupid
Leatherhead: I’m off to my night classes but I hope this doesn't affect your mood too poorly
Mikey: I’m not upset just like. Wow, ya know?
Mikey: thanks so much tho, can’t wait to see you later this week <3 !!
Leatherhead: same here, talk to you soon :^)
Mikey: ttyl!
Casey: yo mikester and I are stopping by the market before we drop by the layer, anyone need anything?
Donnie: stop calling our apartment “the layer”
Raph: we’re out of doritos
Casey: k what kind should we get
Raph: nacho cheese
Donnie: cool ranch
Raph: Jones I will make sure you never step foot in the layer again if you listen to Don
Donnie: (stop with ‘the layer’!!)
Donnie: get cool ranch so i can both enjoy the best flavor and never be subjected to tolerating you in my home ever again
Casey: mikes grabbin taco flavored
Casey: anything else?
Raph: Takis
Casey: besides chips
Leo: we actually need eggs
Leo: i’ll pay you back when i get my next check, casey
Casey: don’t sweat it man, i’ve gotcha
April: hey! I finished at Irma’s early so I’m stopping by early and bringing pizza!
Raph: April confirmed as God herself
Donnie: are you spending the night?
April: well, it's a school night and i have tons of homework
April: so probably, yes
Casey: slumber party!
Leo: every night in this apartment seems to be slumber party night
Leo: when is the last time Casey wasn’t passed out in our living room
Donnie: we should make him pay rent
Casey: April is here just as much as I am!
April: yeah but I bring pizza
Mikey: this is like icarly!
Mikey: except… not
Raph: please don’t bother explaining, i can’t stress how much i don’t care
Leo: well I don’t think I’m going to be home until later so save me a slice
Donnie: working late again? This is the third time this week
April: i’ll guard your slice with my life, Leo
Leo → Raph
Leo: status report
Raph: 1) you’re 18 stop referencing space heroes
Raph: 2) nearly everyone is asleep
Leo: even don?
Raph: I said nearly everyone. But April, Mikey, and Casey all passed out like an hour after the movie ended
Leo: what movie did you guys watch?
Raph: penguins of madagascar
Leo: oh?
Raph: yeah. yeah.
Leo: so, not madagascar 1, 2, or even 3. You guys instead went with, penguins of madagascar
Raph: mikey picked it
Raph: kinda had an all-star cast, surprising message of found family and what it means to find people who care about you. One of those “you dont need to be a furry to love it” kinda things
Leo: holy shit did you actually enjoy it
Raph: SHUT UP
Leo: screenshotted already bro
Raph: THEY HAVE AN INTERESTING DYNAMIC?
Raph: IM BLOCKING YOUR NUMBER
Raph: what time will you be home
Leo: I thought you blocked my number fifteen minutes ago
Raph: and i thought you were the older sibling but
Leo: i’ll be home by 2
Raph: what are you gonna do for an hour? You said you were getting off at 1
Leo: don’t worry about it, and don’t wait for me, i’ll talk to you in the morning
Raph: I don’t need to stay up, don’s got that covered
Leo: i’ll talk to him about that soon
Raph: we all will
Raph: night
Mikey: guys, animorphs is like. Good.
Leo: mike is my new favorite brother actually you all missed your chances
April: have we given up on the “no texting in class” rule
April: also. H O W
Mikey: I’m on book 10 already
Donnie: YOU’RE DYSLEXIC WHAT HAPPENED TO “I CANT READ OR I’LL DIE”
Mikey: audiobooks my guy
Mikey: this series is like, so much
Leo: RIGHT?
Casey: what a zag
Casey → Raph
Casey: starboy is about sex
Raph: explain
Casey: “then she clean it with her face, man i love my baby”
Casey: it's like, you know,
Casey: shes got her face against the table bc shes going to the bone zone?
Casey: from the back
Raph: casey shes snorting coke
Casey: FUCK
Casey: i thought i was onto something :/
Raph: sorry to bare the bad news
Raph: also, what would you know about “taking it from the back” you fucking top
Casey: wow someones a salty bottom
Raph: shitty twink
Casey: wannabe jock, bargin brand twunk
Raph: IM NOT TWUNK
Raph: fuck you jones
Casey: miss me?
Raph: i’ll block you
Casey: hey so
Casey: does leo have like a gf now?
Raph: what.
Casey: he and that goth chick? I’ve been seeing them sneaking around a lot
Raph: lesbian hair, thick eyeliner, chaotic futch?
Casey: uh yeah that one. I thought she was dating the other goth chick, long haired cat lesbian
Raph: she is
Raph: im gonna look into this, talk to you later
Casey: dont do anything too stupid you dick
Raph: no promises
Donnie ---> April
Donnie: hey april?
April: oh no
Donnie: WHY AM I AN IMMEDIATE “OH NO”
April: intuition
April: anyways, what did you wanna talk about?
Donnie: haha
Donnie: no i just um, i was in storage trying to find some spare parts for a new project of mine
Donnie: it's really rad it might make a cheaper alternative for energy in the layer
Donnie: I mean the apartment, I hate casey
April: you’re rambling don
Donnie: SORRY um, anyways I found some of dads old stuff
Donnie: and it looked like it had been sorted through
Donnie: like
Donnie: recently
April: was anything missing?
Donnie: i’m not sure, I don’t fully know what was in there to begin with
April: have you told your brothers?
Donnie: no, thats kind of why I came to you
Donnie: the four of us are the only ones who have access to the storage unit
April: so. You think one of your brothers were going through your dads things?
April: why don’t you just ask them?
Donnie: um
Donnie: i don’t know
Donnie: it’s not easy, half the time we act like he never existed and it's weird
Donnie: so it's hard enough bringing him up, let alone accusing one of them of going through his stuff
April: Hmm
April: I can’t say I support the weird ways you all have of avoiding your grief
April: Definitely not healthy
Donnie: you aren’t our therapist April
April: you all treat me like one smh
April: i’ll keep an eye out on the others, but if it goes too long without a resolution I will be the one to just flat out ask
Donnie: I wouldn’t expect anything else
Donnie: thanks, april
April: no prob D
Mikey: so i’ve been thinking
Mikey: what if
Mikey: i got
Raph: a more tolerable personality?
Mikkey: a harmonica
Leo: no
Donnie: no
Raph: no
Mikey: WHY NOT??
Donnie: the last thing any of us want is you poorly mimicking the devils favorite tunes at 3 in the morning
Mikey: I think I could get really good and people will be BEGGING me to bust out my harmo
April: no offence but you could not be more wrong
Casey: I support you mikester, you know why?
Casey: we can finally start that band we always dreamed of!
Donnie: the band you always dreamed of that all of us have opposed to on multiple occasions?
Casey: thats the one
Casey: think of all the babes we’d get
Raph: nah
Casey: the fame
Raph: uninterested
Casey: the money
Raph: nope
Casey: the sponsorship from wingstop
Raph: I call drums
Leo: I can just buy you wingstop Raph
Raph: will you?
Leo: no
Raph: whats our bands name
Mikey: ICE CREAM KITTIES
April: um?
Casey: that sounds like a burlesque group
Casey: i like it
Donnie: are you referencing the fucking hideous mutant blob you used to keep in the freezer
Mikey: ice cream kitty was a member of the family jackass
Donnie: ‘ice cream kitty’ was the reason dad had to buy a new refrigerator
Mikey: so raph can have pets but I can’t?
Raph: I HAD A TURTLE NOT AN INANIMATE BLOB OF FROZEN DAIRY
Raph: DONT FUCKING DISRESPECT SPIKE LIKE THAT
Casey: lmao u had a pet turtle?
Raph: lmao you had a mom?
Leo: Raph.
Casey: DFJHSDFJ SHITFACE
Casey: what are you guys doing after school
Donnie: studying, AP tests are next week
Donnie: so no one come home if you’re just gonna be loud and obnoxious
Donnie: looking at you jones
Casey: I was gonna go to the skatepark anyways, any of you wanna come?
Mikey: can I bring leatherhead?!
Casey: doi
Raph: i’ll ask slash to come
Mikey: we should probably invite mondo too
Leo: I wish you guys had friends with normal names
Raph: at least we have friends, what are you doing after school?
Leo: I have work
Donnie: April, did you wanna come over and study?
April: Sure!
Donnie: great, meet me by the gym after school, I have the car today
April ---> Casey
April: Donnie says Leo doesn’t have work today
Casey: Raph’s ranting about the same thing
Casey: mad af too
April: Whats he saying?
Casey: blah blah what an asshole blah blah complete trust my ass blah blah fuck
Casey: I think Leo’s hanging out with those goth lesbians
April: Karai and Shini?
Casey: you know them?
April: I know of them
April: I mean how could I not, they’re both like mega hot. Karai’s been here since junior year but Shini just transferred from Japan last semester I think
April: But I don’t see why they’re bad? Or why Leo would hide hanging out with them? I mean i’ve heard Karai is kind of a bitch thats it
Casey: I think the bros know her, like personally
Casey: Mikey is trying to talk Raph down, saying ‘Karai isn’t all bad’ and ‘I’m sure Leo’s doing it for a reason’
April: Hmmm. You’d think after practically living with these four for two years you’d know all of the family secrets
Casey: We just don’t have the Hamato blood
April: I mean, everyone but Leo is adopted, the rest technically don’t have Hamato blood
Casey: let me live, red
April: I’m gonna try and ask don about karai and shini
Casey: (eyes emoji)
April: fuck, maybe this is more serious than Leo just having two new friends
Casey: what did he say?
April: nothing really, but he did that ‘thing’, you know, where he straightens his glasses even though they don’t need to be straightened
Casey: his fucking ‘i know the answer but for ONCE I’m gonna keep my mouth shut’ thing?
April: exactly. He just said Karai and the hamatos have a history? Whatever that means?
April: says we’ll hopefully talk about this when Leo gets back, but he looks really concerned
Casey: i mean, Raph is concerned too, but you know him, his ‘im worried’ is ‘fuck you you fucking fuck’
Casey: oh shit Raph’s calling Leo
Casey: aaaaaand Leo didn’t answer
Casey: RAPH NEARLY THREW HIS PHONE TO THE FLOOR mike caught it tho
April: and there goes the group chat
Raph: LOOK, I’M NOT TRYING TO BE SUBTLE ABOUT THIS SHIT
Raph: BECAUSE UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE HERE, I’M NOT TRYING TO KEEP SECRETS FROM MY FAMILY
Raph: MISTER ‘FAMILY BEFORE EVERYONE’ FUCK YOU!!
Raph: LEO I KNOW YOU’RE READING THIS
Raph: ANSWER YOU DICK
April: Raph, calm down
Mikey: ha, telling raph to calm down, funny
Casey: can someone PLEASE tell me what the deal with Leo hanging out with those chicks is
Casey: I’m so fucking lost
Raph: IT'S COMPLICATED
Donnie: it’s a long story
Mikey: karai is our cousin
April: wait like.
April: as in Saki’s daughter
Casey: SAKI?? THAT BITCH ASS UNCLE OF YOURS?? ISN’T HE IN P-R-I-S-O-N
Mikey: yeah he’s still in the slammer but like. Your kids don't go in there with you casey
Donnie: Karai has been emancipated since then I think
Raph: LEO WOULD KNOW
Mikey: can someone teach raph how to turn off his caps lock
April: okay, so I see the concern, especially because of what Saki did to Leo and well. Yeah.
April: but Karai isn’t her dad
Donnie: she hasn’t done anything to prove that, barely speaks or looks at us at school, we’ve got this conspiracy that she’s going to try to avenge her father or something
Casey: how on earth is her dad getting convicted your guys fault? Like, maybe if he didnt wanna go to PRISON he shouldn't have MURDERED and PUT LEO IN A FUCKING COMA
Leo: everyone shut up
Raph: OH THE HIGH AND MIGHTY LEO GRACES US WITH HIS PRESENCE
Leo: stop
Leo: this isn’t a conversation I want to have in a text group chat
Donnie: i mean, you’ve had plenty of opportunities to talk to us about it face to face
Mikey: not trying to gang up on you big bro, but you can’t lie to us like this
April: leo I think you aren't in the best place to be making demands
Leo: look, I can’t talk much right now
Mikey: send the knife emoji if Karai is blackmailing you
Leo: Karai is not blackmailing me, you guys are acting stupid
Donnie: Leo
Donnie: were you the one who went into the storage unit
Mikey: what? Someone went in the storage unit?
Raph: HOLY SHIT DID YOU BRING KARAI INTO DADS STUFF
Raph: WHAT THE FUCK
Leo: everyone stop right now
Raph: GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON ?!?!
Casey: please give him one i think we’re going to get kicked out of the skatepark because of how many things Raph has kicked
Leo: Karai is our sister
Donnie: what
Mikey: WTF!!!!
Raph: dont fuck with me leo
Raph: leo
April: aaaaand he logged off
Raph: DICK
Donnie: maybe this is a conversation best had back at the layer
Donnie: fuck
Casey: HA