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Eliza just needed to solve a single math problem. Then, she would be done with homework. She had made plans to hang out with Alex, along with some of his friends at 6:00. It was 5:45 now.
Unfortunately, it was the most difficult equation she'd ever faced.
"Angie! Can I borrow your notes?" Eliza called up the stairs.
"Yeah. It's the pink notebook," Angelica called down.
"Thanks! You are my savior!" Eliza could hear Angelica chuckling from her bedroom.
"I know, I know. I'm signing autographs later if you'd like," Angelica teased.
"Oh, be quiet. Your head is already too big without being my savior," Eliza said.
She walked back into the kitchen. Angelica's peachy pink backpack was nestled on the corner of the floor. Eliza unzipped it and fumbled around. It was filled to the brim with textbooks, notebooks, and binders.
And every single one was pink.
Eliza rolled her eyes. She grabbed one and paged through it. History. She tossed it back.
She thumbed through the next one, only to find it was English.
When she found the next one was science, Eliza started to get frustrated. But there was only two more notebooks left.
Eliza picked up the next one and read a random page out of it.
4/8/17
It is I, Angelica, back again! I am currently trying to calm down, yet I can't stop my breath from quivering.
I've told you all about Alex, right? My crush? Well, today he asked out my dear Eliza. She said yes, of course. I've never been happier for her. And yet, a pain stabs me in the chest.
Eliza's face when he asked her out was priceless. I'd have to be a heartless person to tell her how I feel.
I guess Alex was right. I will never be satisfied.
-Angelica
Eliza dropped the book. A rush of emotions filled her with every inhale. She quickly placed all the books back and, despite not completing her homework, she packed that up as well.
"Thanks, Angie! I'll see you later!" Eliza called up.
"See ya!" Angelica called back. Eliza could almost feel the pain emanating off of Angelica. If it had been before, she wouldn't have noticed Angelica's long pause to gain composure before replying.
Eliza walked over to the bowling alley, where she was meeting Alex and co.
"You're late," Lafayette stated as she joined the group at lane 5.
"Yes, I can see that," Eliza replied. Alexander pulled her in for a kiss. But with every touch from him, all Eliza could feel was extreme guilt.
It was an hour later. Eliza was sitting on the bench. She stared into empty space, her eyes glazed over.
"Betsey? You good?" John Laurens asked.
Eliza snapped out of her trance. Plastered on a fake smile. Pretended to be paying attention. She wondered how many times Angelica had to do this in front of her and Alex.
"It's your turn, Betsey," Alex said. "If you knock over six pins, I'll buy you ice cream later."
"Challenge accepted," Eliza said. Her hands quivered and trembled like an earthquake. It was no surprise to herself when she got a gutter ball. It was no surprise to herself when she only knocked down two pins on the second try.
Alex pouted. "You tried to get lower than a six. Usually you're so good at bowling."
"I'm just not... feeling well. I think I might go home early," Eliza said.
Alex kissed her. "Feel better," he said.
"I will," Eliza replied. She walked out of the bowling alley as Hercules yelled at Lafayette for getting another spare. She smiled at their antics, but, remembering other events that had taken place that day, her smile quickly faded.
***
Angelica was, unfortunately, on the living room couch watching TV when Eliza walked in. Angelica looked up and furrowed a brow. "I thought you were bowling until 8:00," she said.
"Wasn't feeling well," Eliza mumbled.
"Do want any help?" Angelica asked.
"No, no. I'll be fine. I'm just tired, is all," Eliza said. In her mind, she thought, You've already done so much for me. Much more than I ever knew.
"Get some rest, 'Liza. I might come up with some ice cream later," Angelica said.
Eliza couldn't refuse that. After all, ice cream was her favorite.
***
Every night, Eliza lay awake on her bed, thinking of ways to repay Angelica. Something. Anything.
Nothing.
There was nothing one could do to pay her back.
Eliza sat up in her bed, startled by a new thought. Except maybe... Yes, that would make up for it. That would make up for everything...
***
It took Eliza a long time to build up the courage. She practiced on the mirror every day before school. She had rehearsals in her room at night, when even a night owl would be sleeping.
They were hanging out one day at the park when Eliza took a deep breath. "Iwanttobreakup."
"What?" Alex asked.
Eliza took three deep, shuttering breaths. "I want to break up."
Alex's mouth opened and closed like a fish. "W-what? Why?"
Eliza gulped. "I don't like you anymore." The blatant lie showed on her face. Eliza was always a horrendous liar.
"You're lying. Tell me, please, Eliza. Betsey," Alex pleaded.
Tears brimmed Eliza's eyes. "Just- just- whatever, alright? It doesn't matter. I don't like you. That's all there is to it."
Eliza turned around to walk away, to walk home, when Alex grabbed her shoulder.
"This isn't like you at all. What happened to the Betsey who always laughed at my jokes? The Betsey who supported me, through and through? The Betsey who never, ever hurt me-"
"You ass! You think this isn't hurting me, too? I've cried my eyes out for days on end, thinking of how I was going to tell you! I distanced myself from all the people I loved because I was so depressed about doing this! I wouldn't hurt you if there was a gun pressed to my head! But in the end, Angelica wins. Okay? Angelica wins."
Alex stood there, shocked. "What does Angelica have to do with this? Is she making you break up with me?"
"No." Too slow.
Alex closed his eyes. "Angelica. Of course. It's always about Angelica. Focus on our future. What we have together. Come on, Betsey."
"Excuse me? Angelica is my sister. She smart, and kind, and witty. She is better than you in every aspect. I love my sister more than anything on this life! I will choose her happiness over mine every time." Eliza had started out loud, but her voice got softer and softer until the last word was barely a whisper on the tip of her tongue.
"Then go ahead! I hope you're satisfied," Alex said. Before Eliza could say anything else, he stormed off in the opposite direction.
***
Angelica knocked on Eliza's door. When walking past, she could have sworn she heard sniffles.
"'Liza? You on there?" Angelica tapped softly on the door again. "'Liza?"
"Yeah, I'm here. I'm fine." Eliza was absolutely not fine. Her voice was raw and cracked and broken beyond damage.
"Are you sure?" Angelica asked.
"Yeah," Eliza answered.
Angelica tried the door one more time. Locked. She cursed. So she waited outside of Eliza's door, hoping she would come out soon.
***
It was two hours later when Angelica realized she hadn't finished her homework. She sighed and abandoned her post to search for her backpack.
Angelica rummaged through it. As she was, she found a blue post it note in there. She fished it out, only to learn it was attached to one of her pink notebooks. Her heart raced. Blue could only be from Eliza. Maybe it explained why she was so sad....
Angelica turned to the page where the post it note had been placed. She read the note. She looked at the book. Angelica dropped the book and ran back upstairs. This time, she was not gentle. She pounded on the door so hard, Eliza thought it might break open.
"Eliza! You shouldn't have done that! It-it was fake! The whole thing! I swear it!" Angelica cried.
A sniffle. "What?"
Angelica nodded to herself. She couldn't bear to be the reason Eliza broke up with Alex. She could lie. Yes. She's always been good at that.
"Yeah. That was my decoy diary. In case any little snoops like you or Pegs decided to search around. I fill it with things so preposterous, that even if you guys told people, no one would believe you," Angelica explained.
A beat. "Oh. Well. What can I do now? What should I tell Alex? We got into a pretty bad fight."
"Ice cream always works. Plus, I know Alex loves the mall. Start small. Text him. Tell him you're sorry," Angelica said.
"Thanks, Angie. I love you," Eliza said.
"Love you too. More than anything in this life," Angelica replied.
***
Peggy had heard a commotion. She looked in the living room to see a notebook and a post it, dropped in the middle of the floor. She picked up the post it note, which only could have come from Eliza. With its blue color and familiar script, Peggy could identify her stationery from a mile away.
She read the short sentence.
'I hope you're satisfied.'
Peggy looked at it. She placed it back into the notebook and set it down. All day, the note haunted her. She pondered what it meant.
***
It started out slow. They began to hang out again. A month later, it was Eliza this time who asked him out.
It was four years later, in their senior year of college, when Eliza and Alex got married.
Angelica was the Maid of Honor. And yet, with her feelings for Alex still in full bloom, she felt like the most dishonorable person there.
But she plastered on a fake smile. Pretended to pay attention. Snapped out of her trances. Kept her emotions hidden. Talked less, smiled more.