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Kakashi stood awkwardly, one arm by his side, the other holding a drink close to his chest as he surveyed the room. The condensation rubbed off on to the fabric of his shirt, making him feel claustrophobic as he ducked and weaved his way through the people on the dance floor.
The loud music and thumping beat pounded within his head as he struggled to overcome it and use his other senses. His eyes felt hazy, the smoke from the fog machine clouding them over and making him feel dizzy. He was having enough trouble seeing through his drunken haze with the lights around him swirling and flashing.
He hated nightclubs. He hated drinking alcohol. But Tenzo liked both, so he had put aside his own aversions to join his lover in one of his favourite activities.
He was annoyed now, his frustration growing at spending another half an hour on his own. Tenzo knew how uncomfortable he was, although he was going to great lengths to hide it. But he had left him alone for ‘2 seconds’ and ducked over to some of his friends, ordering him to wait by the bar and then not coming back. It was a full 15 minutes before Kakashi had decided it was time to move.
Finally
The Copy Ninja thought to himself as he laid eyes on the back of his partner’s head. He huffed indignantly, making his way towards his lover and stopping short as he realised he was in the middle of a conversation with a young woman.
Yugao
Kakashi thought, rolling his eyes at his luck. Tenzo had encouraged him to go maskless, the misconception being that it would lighten him up and help him relax. When in reality not having the security of that fabric against his skin made him feel anxious. The mask avoided situations like this one. If he had of just ignored what his lover wanted he could walk over there without worrying about a team mate seeing his face.
But right now during this point in his life, he felt that making Tenzo happy was more important than himself. However as the night grew on he was no so sure.
It was with a heavy heart that he stood back from that conversation, forced to loose himself in things he did not want to think about.
Earlier in the week he had overheard Tenzo venting to Genma in the ANBU lockeroom that he felt his life was at a standstill. He missed his younger years of partying with his comrades after a successful mission. These days all he did was stay at home on the weekends.
He had stopped listening after that. Not wanting to hear what he felt was the inevitable solution to his problems.
Leaving me
He sighed, his eyes focusing back on the present. He had decided to do what was necessary to make his lover happy. Lest he lose him.
“Must be an interesting conversation.” Kakashi muttered to himself, backing on to a chair connected to the wall and resting his tired feet as he watched Yuago’s enthusiastic arms wave around when she spoke.
Kakashi looked down, examining his fingernails and nursing his drink as he waited for their conversation to end. He was just about done here. If Tenzo ignored him any longer he would leave. He desperately wanted their relationship to work. But was it really worth squelching down everything that made him unhappy to make Tenzo the priority when the other man was clearly not making the same sacrifices for him?
Looking up once more he felt his jaw physically drop as he was assaulted with the sight of Yuago’s lips on his lover’s. Kakashi gaped, his wide eyes feeling dry from the shocked stare. His heart racing in his chest as he waited to see what would happen next.
Tenzo pushed her away hastily, rubbing the back of his neck as he no doubt explained he was in a relationship. Yuago looked embarrassed, apologising profusely for over stepping her bounds. Tenzo waved her off, back stepping as he no doubt made an excuse to leave the awkward situation.
He turned gritting his teeth as he hurried away from her in Kakashi’s direction. He looked up, seeing his silver haired lover through the crowd and knowing he had seen what just transpired. He raised his hand to signal he was on his way over, but Kakashi was officially done.
His hand clenched around the glass he was holding, rage filling every fibre of his being as he slammed it down on the ledge next to him. Tenzo looked worried as he approached, knowing in his heart this was going to be a fight.
Kakashi closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself before making the signs to teleport. Tenzo reached him, grabbing a hold of the other man’s arm as the jutsu completed and suddenly he found himself in their living room.
“What the fuck?” Kakashi shouted as the both regained their footing.
“What?” Tenzo asked, trying his hardest to sound innocent.
“Why did she kiss you?” Kakashi asked, his voice a low growl.
“I… I don’t know!” The brunette fumbled, his eyes as wide as Kakashi’s had been while witnessing the act. “I pushed her off though! You saw that right!” He asked in a panic.
What if Kakashi hadn’t seen the entire thing and just the kiss? What if he thought he had initiated it?
“Yes I saw.” Kakashi snapped, folding his arms and slumping himself on to the couch behind him. “So what?” He asked, knowing deep down he was being ridiculous and should stop while he was ahead. “You probably liked it.” he slurred, only just now realising how much alcohol he had consumed. He didn’t seem to be able to hold back the absurdity.
“No! I swear!” Tenzo floundered, his hands wringing together nervously as he spoke.
“You make me get all dressed up. Go to this stupid club. I’m not allowed to wear my mask and then you leave me standing by the bar for half an hour so you can make out with one of my subordinates!” Kakashi yelled, his words sounding silly even to his own ears. “It’s like you don’t even love me anymore.” He continued, fully aware of the gigantic hole he was digging for himself.
Tenzo frowned, sitting down on the couch next to his lover. He placed his hand nervously on the other’s knee, waiting to be rejected. Kakashi allowed it, his pouty face looking the other way as he considered his own self sabotage, internally begging himself to stop.
“Of course I love you.” Tenzo said softly, his hand squeezing slightly. “We didn’t have to go out tonight. It was your idea.” He said, his tone more of a question than a statement.
There was a long pause as both men thought, Kakashi still not looking in the other man’s direction.
“And I didn’t like it.” Tenzo clarified. “I pushed her away, you saw that. I don’t know whether it was the alcohol or Hayate being gone or what but that was just weird.”
“You sure you weren’t leading her on with your long ass conversation?” Kakashi asked sarcastically.
“We only spoke for a minute or two.” The brunette explained, removing his hand from the other’s leg. “I was talking with Genma before that. I’m sorry I left you at the bar okay?” He sighed, his own tipsy state making him irritable as felt the start of a headache forming. “Look I think we should probably just go to bed. Talk about this tomorrow?” He asked hopefully. “Neither of us are in our right mind and I worry if we start arguing it could get unnecessarily ugly due to our intoxication.” He chuckled.
“Always the diplomat.” Kakashi snickered. “But Tenzo you’ve failed to realise that this is already an argument.” He said flatly. “I may not be yelling but that’s because I’m aware of our neighbours and what time it is.” The silver haired man said smugly. “If you want to drag this out until tomorrow you’re welcome to but I’ll have no qualms yelling at you then.” He finished, lying himself down on the couch as Tenzo stood.
“Whatever.” The brunette said under his breath, holding out his hand for the other to take.
“I’m sleeping here.” Kakashi stated in a tone that was not to be argued with as he pulled the throw off the back of the couch. Tenzo rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he walked towards the bedroom. With one last look at Kakashi he switched off the light, feeling no guilt as he thought about how exciting it was to have the bed all to himself.
~
“Are you still up?” The question resonated through the silence of the living room; the only reply being a small shuffling of blankets.
Tenzo sighed, taking a step further towards where he knew the couch to be. The darkness was new to him; his eye’s had not fully adjusted yet.
“Go away.” Kakashi snarled as he felt his lover draw near. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“And yet you’re speaking.” Tenzo snickered, his hands brushing the arm rest of the couch as he groped wildly for purchase.
His remark was met with silence once again as the Copy Ninja glared ahead of him. The Sharingan telling him everything he needed to know about where his lover was.
Tenzo sat down on the arm rest, pausing to think for a second before slowly sliding down on top of Kakashi’s feet. The other man growled angrily, yanking them out from under him and rolling on to his side. A small chuckle left the brunette’s mouth as his hand ran smoothly over an uncovered leg.
“I’m sorry.” He said finally, his hand petting lightly. “Will you please just come to bed? It’s lonely without you.”
“Well consider that your punishment.” Kakashi snapped, his own hands fiddling nervously with the fabric of the blanket. “You’re so fucking mean.” He complained, his voice soft.
“Mean?” Tenzo laughed. “I’m not mean I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You complain about your shitty life to your friends and then don’t even acknowledge when I try to do something nice for you.” Kakashi retorted, rolling his eyes at the humour in his lover’s voice.
“What do you mean?” Tenzo asked, taken aback by the statement. Kakashi sat up suddenly, looking his lover in the eyes the best he could in the dark.
“You told Genma that all we do is stay home and you miss partying with your friends.” He explained, gesturing wildly as he spoke. “So I suggested we go clubbing and do what you love because I don’t want to lose you but look where that got me?” He asked, frustration growing once more. “Standing alone at the bar and watching you make out with someone else.” He finished, his tone sad as his hands fell back in to his lap.
“We didn’t make out.” Tenzo groaned. “Please stop saying that. And… you didn’t have to do that for me. You missed the point of my conversation that you clearly weren’t supposed to be listening to…” He said in a chiding tone. “I love that we stay home. My life is stable now… since we started dating I’ve felt secure in myself and we have so much fun together.” He paused, deciding how to continue. “Sure sometimes I miss going out with the guys but when I get there I remember how much I actually hate it and let’s be honest. There’s no point in going out if you’re not there to pick up.” He laughed.
“Mmm, I saw you trying.” Kakashi teased, finally starting to feel better about the incident.
“I’m just saying…” Tenzo continued, ignoring the statement. “I have to say to Genma ‘Oh man I miss hanging out with the boys!’ But between you and me, being here with you on the couch is all the entertainment I need.” He said softly, his hand running slowly over his lover’s leg once more. “I have no idea why you would possibly think I was going to leave you from the snippet of conversation you heard…” He frowned. There was another pause as Kakashi considered everything that was said.
He was fully aware he had acted foolish earlier in the night after that scene had enraged him. But he had not realised he was being silly with his decisions before that.
“There is a slight chance that maybe I was a little bit self-sabotaging.” Kakashi admitted softly, trying to downplay his own flaw. Tenzo’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
“Why?” He asked.
“Maybe because I’m happy…” Kakashi answered slowly, watching Tenzo’s silhouette cock his head in question. “And it makes me feel weird.” He continued. “I guess there is a chance that I sometimes over-exaggerate things because I’m scared of my own happiness. Scared of what it means and what’s going to go wrong and ruin it this time…” He finished softly, his hands moving nervously over the throw on his lap.
“Kakashi…” Tenzo breathed, shuffling closer to the other man.
“I just love you so much.” Kakashi sniffed. “When I saw her kiss you, I know it’s stupid but all I could think of was her taking you away from me.” He admitted, looking down.
Tenzo wrapped his arms around his lover lightly, pulling him in for a hug.
“No one could ever take me away from you…” He whispered, his breath ghosting over his partner’s ear. “I’ve wanted you for so long and now that I have you I’m never letting go…” He said quietly. Kakashi felt tears prick at his eyes as he rested his chin on his partner’s shoulder, his hands wrapping around the other man and clinging tightly.
“I love you.” He ground out, his voice thick with emotion.
“I love you too…” Tenzo responded, his hands petting slowly along the other’s spine.
“Promise you won’t leave?” Kakashi asked, his cheeks reddening at the question.
“I Promise.”