Chapter Text
“Are you ready?” He asks, folding the retractable handle down on the suitcase and lifting it out of the room.
You look around the space, tinted persimmon from the sunrise, and take in the orderly mess that is your bedroom. Your wardrobe and chest of drawers stand, almost bare, with most of the clothes packed in your suitcases and the other half of them discarded on the bed. The bed itself hosts an array of other bits and pieces that hadn't quite found a home yet; hair accessories, books, headphones, sunscreen. Your little pastel-pink travel bag sits at the foot, waiting to be carried to the car.
You continue to scan the room, making sure nothing is forgotten, and spot the reservation letters on the bedside table. You swipe them up and tuck them into your travel bag, nodding to Jungkook.
“Ready.”
He gives a taut stretch of the lips, in what is supposed to be a smile, and shuts the door behind you. On your way out of the house you take your suitcase, drag it down the flagstone path and out to the 4x4, hauling it up into the boot and settling into the passenger seat without waiting for him. He swiftly follows suit after double locking the front door and chucks his own bags in, slamming the boot door shut.
As he climbs into the car and shuts the door, you turn away and stare at the rose bushes lining the driveway, subtly scooting away from him towards the door on your side. There's a moments pause and all you can hear in the small space is his breathing – steady and strong – and the muffled birdsong outside.
Please don't say anything. Just drive.
“You know… they're all gonna think something is up,” he says, inserting the keys into the wheel but not starting the engine. “We’re gonna have to try.”
Your heart flutters, but not in the good way. “We shouldn't have to.”
“Yeah, well. That's just how it is.” He starts the engine and checks the metre, making sure there's enough gas for the two and a half hour drive. You shift in your seat and discreetly watch his hand resting on the gear stick as he puts the car in reverse. Your eyes fall to his black wedding band, a line of miniature diamonds circling the ring and twinkling in the early sun. You twirl your own band, staring at the intertwined design of pure silver and diamonds, remembering the engraved date on the inside.
It burns on your finger, your skin flaming and melting underneath the weight of it. It sits heavy and ugly and the desire to rip it off was almost too overwhelming. It had never been a promise, only ever a burden.
Your eyes move up to rest on his face and you wonder if it ever meant anything.
“I don't want to try, I just want us to be. We shouldn't have to pretend.” You mutter into your hand.
“I can't promise you anything.” He presses down on the accelerator once the car is facing the right way and the car starts on down the path to the gates.
You open the window and stick your head out further, trying to put as much space between the two of you. Your vision blurs as your eyes glass over and the tears pool in your ducts. They fly away and fall down onto the paintwork of the car, heavy and short-lived.
His words don't hurt anymore, they’re just another weight added to the burden you carry; otherwise known as your marriage.
***
Three hours later, Jungkook pulls into a luxury resort full of lush green, rolling hills and elaborate villas sprawled out for as far as the eye could see. You're both met with tall, polished metal gates that open upon your arrival and when you drive around the gargantuan fountain further into the resort, a man dressed in a deep green uniform approaches the car.
The gravel underneath the car crunches as it comes to a stop and Jungkook cuts the engine. He takes his own bag from the back seat and exits the vehicle, instructing you to do the same. You pop the door open and lug your travel bag out from the footwell, jumping onto the clean concrete walkway. Jungkook hands the keys to the parking valet, along with a tip.
“Any additional luggage, sir?” The attendant asks, fixing his cap.
“Two cases in the back.” Jungkook replies sharply. He turns you you and nods. “Come on. Lets get this show started.”
He slips a hand to rest on your arm but you pull away; the only thing on your mind is getting to the reception lobby, checking in and heading straight to the spa – away from Jungkook. But he wouldn't let you get away so easily. He'd booked a couple’s retreat for the two of you for two weeks, inviting his old band mates and their own partners along. It was a sort of holiday, a break from all the work and stress of his new solo promotions. You hadn't seen much of Jungkook during his time in the studio and if you were honest, it didn't really bother you now as much as it had before.
“Fine,” he slings his bag over his shoulder and marches up to the lobby, forgetting that you were the one with the reservation documents.
You trail after him and walk through crystal-clear doors, stepping into a sophisticated yet stylish threshold. The floor is black marble, shining as bright as the first day it was laid down, the late morning sun glistening on its surface. The reception desk is tall and is also made out of black marble, a thick glass counter running along the top. As you approach the desk, you see that, pressed in between the sheets of glass are lavender-coloured flower petals. A chandelier hangs high above your heads and creates rainbows that dance across the bright space.
Two receptionists sit behind the tall counter, their heads barely visible from where you stand. Jungkook is already talking to one, the brunette, and you see the smile he's learned to craft so well. To anyone else in the room it looked warm and genuine, inviting. But you knew it as the fake smile, the one he used when he told you everything was “fine”, when it was far from.
You pull the documents out from the bag and rest them on the surface, standing tense beside Jungkook. His smile stays plastered to his face.
“Ahh, here she is,” the receptionist beams. Her name tags reads Anita. “I'll just check you two in and hand you your things.”
She shuffles the papers, looking for your names. “Mr and Mrs… John?”
“Jeon.” Jungkook corrects.
“My apologies. I'm not so great with names,” she whispers with a grin on her face.
“That's not very reassuring to hear from a receptionist.” Jungkook laughs along with her and all you can do is smile politely, not wanting to look like the ‘possessive wife’.
She types something into the computer behind the desk and asks her colleague to get the correct keys for your villa and all-access card. “Newlywed? I see you booked the Honeymoon villa, the best in the resort.”
“Oh, no,” you cut in before Jungkook could answer. “We’re just on a break from the busy city life.” You smile a close-lipped smile and rest your hand on top of his on the counter. You feel his hand twitch under yours, not used to such physical contact.
“I see,” she still continues to grin. Her colleague returns with the cards and keys. “Nevertheless, please enjoy your stay. Here are your all-access cards, please present them at meal times and for all other recreational activities. You'll find all the details in your room regarding each site and what facilities we have to offer. If you have any questions, please give us a call. My colleague will now lead you to your villa, your luggage should already be there. Again, please enjoy your stay.”
She hands over the keys and cards and you wonder if her smile could get any bigger.
~
“Namjoon said he's just arrived,” Jungkook mutters from the bed, eyes glued to his phone. “That would be everyone then.”
“Great.” You reply, emerging from the en-suite and smearing your makeup off with a wet wipe. “Let me just slap a full face of make up on and then we’ll all be set to play happy couples.”
You grin and violently throw the wipe in the bin; he sighs but doesn't play your game. To him, this is just a reunion with his life-long friends, friends who have everything in common and know what to talk about. Friends he wants to be around and can't wait to see. But he doesn't understand that what it meant for you was endless chit chat about the boring life routine, tedious formalities and dainty, polite smiles across the table to other women you had never met before.
Why he had made this a couples thing, you had no idea, but you were resenting it more with each passing second.
You had spent the whole day settling in and exploring the villa which was spread along two floors. The ground floor was home to a reception room, a spacious living room and kitchen, a games room and the first bathroom; while the first floor hosted two master bedrooms and a master bathroom.
Your plan to spend time away from Jungkook and in the biggest hot tub was cancelled, as you had arrived on a Sunday; the one day the spa wasn't open. You'd waited, as time went by, for the texts to confirm everyone else had arrived.
“Seokjin and Tae can't make it for tonight, but they'll be here tomorrow. For the big dinner.” He’d said, smiling fondly at his phone. Though it was nice to see Jungkook happy, you weren't exactly thrilled.
You re-enter the bathroom and start to reapply your make up for the dinner, slipping into a simple cocktail dress and a shawl accompanied by kitten heels. You watch from the patio, while Jungkook gets his jacket, as the sun sets behind one of the lush hills you'd seen earlier on your way in. You'd learned that it was in fact a golf course, hence why they were kept in such good condition.
He steps out to join you and rests his arm on your waist, gently prompting you to face him. “How do I look?” He removes his hand and moves it to fuss with his collar.
“Fine,” you say, but your own hands reach up to smooth out the lapels of his dark blazer. His plain white shirt sits underneath, perfectly ironed and open at the top, revealing the lean muscles of his neck.
He reaches up again and your hands come into contact, grazing past each other. It sends a jolt down your spine and makes your stomach flip the same way it did when Jungkook touched you for the first time. He leaves them there, almost, but not quite cupping your fingers in his palms. You stare at his chest, a cold sweat breaking out on your neck.
It shouldn't be like this.
“Lets go.” You break contact first and spin on your heel, heading for the restaurant. You don't know how long you'd be able to keep up this façade, but one thing was clear.
You'd have to try harder.
~
The eight of you sit around a large table on the patio of the French cuisine restaurant, the garden lit by fire torches dotting the area. The restaurant is full at this hour, the clattering of plates and chaotic array of voices filling the humid night air. The sky is clear and you're able to see the stars for once. The round table is full of empty plates, napkins and half-empty wine glasses, with the bottles sitting still quite full next to them.
Namjoon and Hoseok had arrived with said partners, while Jimin and Yoongi still looked to be single. Which didn't come as a surprise to you. You sit back and watch, glass in hand, as Namjoon dotes over his own wife and as Hoseok interacts with the boys and his own girlfriend. Jungkook had left to use the bathroom, leaving you alone in a sea of strangers.
You observe the two women and your first instinct is to turn your nose up at them, although you have no idea why. Perhaps it’s a defence mechanism, something you learned to do with everybody new you met. Afraid of the unknown. They aren't ugly, per se, in fact quite the opposite which may be the reason you feel somewhat threatened by their presence.
You twirl the wine around in your glass, staring at the way it sloshes around against the sides, and wonder how long this meal has to last. Right now, your bed was the only thing that mattered and the only thought that could put a smile on your face.
“I didn't know wine was so funny. What's the joke?” Yoongi nudges you with his shoulder, a real warm smile dancing on the corners of his lips. Out of all of Jungkook’s friends, you were the most familiar and most comfortable around Yoongi. He had been around since before the two of you had even started dating, being the one to pass on messages from Jungkook because he was too shy to do so himself. In the end, Yoongi had knocked your heads together and had forced you on what you now remember as your first date.
He'd been there for when you and Jungkoook had fought, he'd even been there when Jungkook had proposed and of course he had been there on the big day. Yoongi was the person who would know straight away something was wrong and you felt guilty for lying to him.
“Oh, nothing,” you look up from your drink and smile back at him. You'd missed his company. “I just remembered the time, back when we were just teens… how shy Jungkook was.”
Yoongi chuckles and leans back in his seat, crossing his ankles under the table. “Stupid kid. Wouldn't know what love is even if it slapped him in the face.”
Which couldn't be more true.
“I mean, how long did it take for him to propose?” You begin to answer but he holds up a hand, taking a swig of his own drink before placing it back on the table. “Too long. And even on the wedding day he looked like he was gonna get cold feet.”
Your head snaps up. “Really?”
He nods vigorously, his pale lids covering his eyes. If you hadn't known any better you would've thought he was drunk, but you knew it was just his character. And plus, Yoongi knew how to hold his liquor. “Yep. The boy looked as white as a sheet. I thought he'd run out of the dressing room right there. But I don't think he would've left you at the altar-”
“Yeah?” You knock back the last of your wine and lean forward to refill your glass. “How do you know?”
Yoongi doesn't get to answer you. You feel the weight of Jungkook’s hands rest on your shoulders, his thumbs brushing the strip of bare skin exposed between your dress collar and the shawl. You try not to tense too much, but your jaw clenches. He bends down between you and Yoongi and kisses your tightened jaw.
“Still trying to steal my girl, Yoongi? Even after marriage?” He sits back down on your other side, taking his jacket off and placing it behind the chair.
Yoongi scoffs, the friendly light from his eyes disappearing. He looks stern and almost protective when speaking to Jungkook, never really being able to see him as a grown adult and always remembering him as the shy, prepubescent boy.
“You know I would never. And make sure you’re keeping her entertained. I found her half asleep in her glass of wine. If that doesn't scream boredom, I don't know what does.” He gestures with his glass towards you and finishes the remnants of his drink.
You chuckle slightly. “I was not-”
“Are you tired? We can go now if you want,” Jungkook suggests with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
“No, you stay,” you leave your unfinished drink on the table and stand up, wrapping the shawl tighter around your shoulders. “It's been a long day. I'll just get going.”
You smile at Yoongi and excuse yourself from the table, kissing cheeks and hugging everybody goodnight. You lean down to give Jungkook a chaste kiss on his cheek, not missing the way he went rigid as he expected a kiss elsewhere. “Goodnight Jungkook.”
You leave the table without waiting for his reply.
“Did you two fight or something?” Yoongi asks him, as soon as you'd left, frowning.
Jungkook turns around and leans on the table, looking everywhere else but at Yoongi’s face, feigning nonchalance. “What? No-”
“Listen kid, don't bullshit me,” Yoongi warns, also sitting forward and trying to catch Jungkook’s elusive gaze. “I've been there since before this relationship and I've known you for longer. What's going on?”
Jungkook disputes with himself whether telling Yoongi the truth would be best thing. Maybe it was, but the timing couldn't be worse. It isn't his business, really, but he can't ignore the fact Yoongi has done so much for him. He sits with his hands clasped tightly, watching Namjoon and his wife talk to each other. The way he holds her gaze; the way their hands brush each other’s skin; the way they're completely lost in each other's presence.
They'd been married for only a year and a half, much shorter than Jungkook and yourself, but the love and life behind the relationship was real. It was there for everyone to see. Why was it not the same with you?
“We just had a disagreement,” Jungkook sighs, falling back. “Everything’s fine, she’ll get over it.”
Yoongi is silent for a moment, digesting what he knew was a bare-faced lie. “Okay kid. But don't come crying to me when shit hits the fan. You're on your own.”