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group chat: seoul gays
taehyungie: who has chem II notes i can borrow
jjk: literally none of us are taking chem II rn
taehyungie: wtf i thot namjoon hyung and yoongi hyung took it???
jjk : im p sure that was last year
taehyungie : well….. fuck
seokseok : i can ask namjjon if he still has his notes from last year
seokseok : i think yoongi set his on fire
myg : i absolutely did
jjk : hi hyungs
taehyungie : hey yoongi hyung how cum you only show up when hoseok hyung is here
myg : maybe i would be here more often if you didnt replace “come” with “cum” every single time
taehyungie : i got it from jimin
myg : yeah cause he’s a hoe, doesnt mean you gotta be one too
jiminie : wow……………………
taehyungie : hi jiminie <3<3<3
jjk : hi jimin hyung
seokseok : jimin!!!!!!!
myg : i hate this fucking family
jiminie : dont be pressed bc i get more luv than u
taehyungie : hyung definitely gets more luv from a certain someone here ;););)
myg : taehyung i’ll make you eat your own fist dont try me for even a second
taehyungie : hyung thats very kinky of u
myg : yeah speaking of kinky stop slapping jimin’s ass in front of the entire caf, no one wants to see that
taehyungie : wtf hyung chim’s got a fat ass i cant help myself
jiminie: yoongi hyung dont act like u wouldnt want a piece of this if u werent so wrapped around u kno who’s finger
taehyungie : speaking of hoseok hyung where did his cute lil ass wander off to @ seokseok
seokseok : lmao i was jus grabbin a coffee
myg : hobi i would have gotten one for you, i was just at starbucks
seokseok : nah its ok i was in the mood for a venti i dont want u to have to pay all that
myg : dont worry about that, i’ll get you one next time
jjk : aw
myg : excuse you this is a private conversation
jjk : it’s literally not tho
jjk : and this is the only way anyones gonna pay any attention to me so
jiminie : aw kookie i’ll pay attention to you!!
jjk : thx hyung
jiminie : how’s yugyeom
jjk : wow would u look at the time i gotta go bye hyungs
jiminie : ….. did his ass rlly just
seokseok : isnt he just so cute
taehyungie : jungkookie knows he has a crush tho rite like this isnt a repeat of last year when he thirsted after mingyu for 5 months straight and thot it was just a super intense friendship
princejin : i heard “jungkookie” & “crush” what's goin on what's the tea
jiminie : i scared kook off by talking about yugyeom so we’re p sure they’re gay together
taehyungie : they cant be being gay together tho doesnt yug have a bf
princejin : nah they broke up over the summer
seokseok : how do u kno that they’re sophomores and u graduated last year
princejin : what im not allowed to have hobbies?
princejin : im just lookin out for kook, if he wasn’t involved in this i’d have no interest in yug’s love life
myg : someone’s gotta look out for jk’s hopeless gay ass
taehyungie : ur one to talk hyung :)
myg : excuse you i came out forever ago and i’m fine with who i am, jungkook is still struggling so yeah i’m with jin hyung on looking out for him
princejin : yoongi’s a whole intellectual unlike u cretins
jiminie : i care about kookie :( i wanna help look out for his hopeless gay ass too :(
taehyungie : omg chim ur always lookin out for kook dont even worry about it
seokseok : yeah jimin ur lowkey the nicest to him except maybe yoongi but only on his good days
princejin : all days are good days as long as i exist
myg : wow
runchranda : tru
runchranda : okay which one of u sluts changed my display name
myg : taehyung
taehyungie : WOW hyung i didnt kno u were a whole ass SNITCH
princejin : taehyungie u are the admin of this chat only u can change nicknames
taehyungie : ……
taehyungie : anyways
taehyungie : i changed it back hyung
kimnamjoonisafool : thanks
kimnamjoonisafool : taehyung
taehyungie : ANYWAY
princejin : taehyung thats no way to treat your hyung i’m disappointed in u rn
taehyungie : :(
jiminie : aw taetae
taehyungie : :(:(:(:(:(
taehyungie has left the chat
jiminie : jin hyung u kno hes sensitive
kimnamjoonisafool : he could have at least changed my name back before he left tho
myg : he’ll literally be back by the end of the day he’s just dramatic
jiminie : hyung :(:( hes sad tho
myg : let him rest his head on your ass for a minute and he’ll be fine again
private chat between jjk and taehyungie
taehyungie: kookie
jjk: wut
taehyungie: dont “wut” me boy im ur elder
jjk : wut hyung
taehyungie : whats the tea on u and ur boy toy
jjk : i couldnt have less of an idea what ur talkin about hyung
taehyungie : ok u kno i didnt read all that so anyway tell me what yugs dick look like
jjk : I HAVENT SEEN ANYONES DICK
jjk : EXCEPT MY OWN ONCE OR TWICE
taehyungie : kook whys everyone always sleepin on ur humor ur p funny when ur not bein a ludicrous headass
jjk : wow thats a big ass word hyung
taehyungie : thx xoxoxoxoxo
taehyungie : so if u havent seen his dick have u at least seen his heart-dick
jjk : i………… i dont wanna kno what that means
taehyungie : it means have u been on a date u weirdo
jjk : i dont think im the weirdo in this situation
jjk : but no we havent been on a date. i honestly havent even been talking to him much lately
taehyungie : omg kook why i thot u guys were friends
jjk : we are but he just broke up w/ his bf of like 10 months and i'm like. all over the place w/ my feelings for him and i dont wanna freak him out or be that asshole who tries to get w/ him so soon after a breakup
jjk : like i didnt want him to think i was only hangin out w/ him so i could sleep w/ him or whatever
taehyungie : wow thats like. really mature of u tbh
jjk : yeah
taehyungie : wait shit do u like. really like him or
jjk : …. are we not talking about how much i love him or
taehyungie : WHOA LOVE??? I THOT U JUST WANTED HIM TO DICK U DOWN N MAYBE HAVE A CUTE FLING OR SOMETHIN
jjk : i literally just got done explaining how i didnt wanna do that
jjk : idk if i love him, ive never been in love before so idk what it feels like but. i really like him. idk. i wanna like take him bowling and pay for him and cuddle in his dorm room while its raining out and the lights are dimmed and its just peaceful and quiet and comfortable
jjk : i also want him to dick me tf down
taehyungie : LMAO ok this is a lot to process all at once imma need a minute or two here
jjk : i have to go to class anyway but look pls dont tell the hyungs any of this i really dont want anyone else to kno they’re just gonna tease me
taehyungie : ok well i promise not to tell but just so u kno kook we might tease u but we really just want the best for u and we think its adorable how much of a baby gay u are :/:/ we just wanna see u prosper and be the best u can be
jjk : :(:(:( ily hyung
taehyungie : :(:(:( ily2 kookie
group chat: seoul gays
taehyungie has joined the chat
taehyungie : hello…………………………… hoes
kimnamjoonisafool : change my name, taehyung
taehyungie : omg fine
taehyungie : ur literally not gonna ask me how my day was tho, i was gone for HOURS
joonie : three hours is nothing remember when yoongi hyung wasnt here for 6 days straight
seokseok : those were the dark ages pls don’t remind me :/
taehyungie : aw hobi hyung did u miss yoongo
seokseok : i always miss yoongo :/:/ he’s never here
taehyungie : @ myg look wtf u doin to ur man over here
myg : first of all, taehyung: die
myg : second of all, hobi come to my place if you’re not busy rn
jiminie : hot
myg : don’t
seokseok : ok!! i have to finish some work first but i can be there in like 45 mins???
myg : yeah jsut whenever you can
taehyungie : hyung made a typo he’s already jerkin it
myg : didn't i JUST tell you to die
taehyungie : hyung ik u love me dont even play like that
taehyungie: anyway @ seokseok beat those cheeks for me hyung mwah
myg has left the chat
princejin: taetae if he doesn’t come back by tomorrow ur gettin ur ass beat i’m not playin this time
taehyungie has left the chat
