Chapter Text
“You think he went home?” Zoe shouted over the wind and hail as she exited the school, Alana and Jared in tow.
“Maybe?” Alana shrugged.
“No!” Jared yelled at the same time. “He was doing that twitchy thing he does when he’s having an attack last time I saw him, he’ll be in the courtyard or something!”
“In this weather?” Alana clung to Zoe for warmth.
“You know Evan - nothing can keep him away from trees when he’s panicking!”
Lo and behold, when they made it to the courtyard at the side of the school, there Evan was, lying sprawled at the base of the only climb-able tree, unconscious, a broken branch lying a few feet away from him.
*****
Evan had had a hard day. Classmates were overwhelming and teachers were demanding and hallways were loud and crowded and everything was just plain terrible. He was just now coming down from his third panic attack that day. He sat under a tree in the courtyard - his go-to place when he needed to calm down. His knees were hugged to his chest and he was rocking his head slowly, trying to keep his breathing steady.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay,” He murmured to himself until the seizing pain in his chest released and he could breathe again.
Evan’s head was foggy and clouded. His thoughts were incoherent. He couldn't register much of what happened between when he started climbing and when he hit the ground again aside from his skin scraping against bark and hail pelting his back as the storm picked up. Snapping noises filled his ears. The impact knocked all the wind out of him. The taste of blood filled his mouth. His vision went dark.
*****
“Shit,” Jared ran down the hill, ripping off his jacket to wrap around Evan when he made it to him.
Alana and Zoe followed close behind, trying not to slip on the wet grass. Zoe picked up the muddy, unconscious boy while Jared and Alana piled their jackets on top of him. They made a break for Jared’s car. Evan started to stir. He jolted when he realized where he was and what was happening, but came back down after a moment. Zoe’s arms were warm and safe and, for once, someone had actually come running. Three someones had come running. They piled into Jared’s car and Evan was crying. He was crying and he couldn’t stop. It was good crying, though.
Jared pulled out of the parking lot. In the back, Zoe was pulling every spare jacket she could find around Evan. She wiped a bit of blood from the corner of his mouth. He fell into her arms and she swayed gently to calm him.
“What were you thinking?” Jared demanded. “Jesus christ, Evan, you’re a goddamn moron!”
“Jared! He’s worked up enough as it is!” Alana cried. “Just drive and let us handle it.”
Jared fixed his eyes on the road and remained silent, but Alana could swear she saw tears in his eyes. She shrugged it off and turned in her seat to reach out and touch Evan’s arm.
“What happened?” She asked gently.
“I-I don’t really know…” Evan sniffed. “Everything went all f-fuzzy and I was up in the tree, a-and then I was falling again and… and you came for me…”
“Of course we did!” Alana squeezed his arm.
“We’ll always come for you,” Zoe kissed the top of his head.
“No one did last time.” Jared wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, still focused on the road. “That's why he's crying.”
Zoe squeezed Evan tighter into her embrace. He clung to the fabric of her coat as though his life depended on it. His soft sobs were muffled in her shoulder, but their sound still pierced the hearts of everyone in the car.
Alana hadn't known at all, of course - Evan had never finished telling her what happened to his arm after that last summer. Zoe had figured it out for herself after he'd come clean. She figured, why else would he have emphasized Connor coming to get him so much if it had never really happened? Jared had obviously known the whole time.
He was also the only one who knew what Evan had really been trying to do that day.
“I'm calling your mother, okay?” Alana said, searching through her bag for her phone.
“Okay,” Evan scrubbed at his eyes with his fists and blew his nose into his sleeve.
Alana remained calm and composed over the phone as Heidi’s clearly panicked voice spilled faintly from the receiver. Alana assured her that they were on the way to the hospital and they would all stay with him until she could get there.
“Tell her it was an accident, she needs to know it was an accident...” Evan pleaded, reaching out to take the phone.
“He says it was an accident,” Alana relayed. “Yes, he's breathing okay. Do you want to talk to him?”
Evan twitched his fingers anxiously and snatched the phone as soon as Alana moved it from her ear.
“Mom! ...yeah, I'm okay I think, just cold. Bleeding a little but I'm okay…. It was an accident this time, I promise… yes, you need to know that, it's important…. Zoe’s helping me calm down, yes…. I'll be okay until you get there. Yes. Yes. Okay. I'll see you soon, Mom… love you too.”
Evan gripped Alana’s phone so tightly after hanging up she decided to let him hold onto it for the time being. Zoe wasn’t holding him anymore but she kept her hand on his shoulder just in case. Jared made eye contact with Evan in the mirror for a split second. He hit the gas a little too hard when the light changed.
When they made it to the hospital, Zoe helped Evan to his feet and she and Alana walked him through the doors, each holding onto one of his shoulders and holding each other’s hands behind him. Jared walked behind, his hands stuffed in his pockets, a mask of defensive irritation plastered on.
It seemed a slow day for emergencies, so Evan was brought in fairly quickly. A few fractures and some scrapes on his arms and hands was most of it, as well as a bit of a concussion from the impact. The doctor figured Evan had had a dissociative episode after his attack and blacked out, which was why he didn't remember exactly what happened. One overnight hospital stay just to be safe and a few days of bed rest at home were sure to take care of it.
“We might go walk around a bit,” Alana said once the doctor had left. “Will you be okay by yourself, Evan?”
“Hey, I'm not going anywhere.” Jared plopped into the seat beside Evan’s bed.
“That's about as good as being by himself,” Zoe snickered, taking Alana’s arm.
“Fuck you too, Murphy.”
“Don't be an asshole, Jared.” Alana hissed. “We’re in a hospital.”
“And that’s my fault how, exactly? I'm not the one who thought it'd be a good idea to climb a tree in the middle of a thunderstorm-”
“Jared-”
“-because my brain just decided to stop working for no fucking reason-”
“JARED-”
“-as if that's a valid excuse when the last time this happened I was trying to fucking kill myself!”
Jared was on his feet now. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he wiped them away so aggressively his glasses nearly fell off. Alana let out a tiny gasp. Zoe’s free hand flew to her chest and she turned her gaze to Evan. The entire room collectively stopped breathing. Jared stormed out of the room.
“Jared!” Evan cried, starting to get up.
Zoe ran to push him back down as Alana followed Jared out the door.
“Get back here!” She yelled.
“No, fuck you!” Jared called back.
“Jared Kleinman, you come back here and apologize right now!”
Alana’s voice faded to a quiet echo as she disappeared down the hall. Zoe sat on the side of the bed, still holding Evan down.
“I'm not gonna move,” Evan promised.
Zoe moved to the chair. They sat in silence for a little while, neither one really wanting to face what had just happened.