Actions

Work Header

Wise

Summary:

“I've felt this way for a while, but it's scary…”

Notes:

a semi-vent fic. didn't really put as much effort into it, but i still wanted to upload.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“...Hey, Kuro? Can I talk to you about something?”

Kuro’s right eye opened a sliver at the sound of his Eve’s hesitant voice. He let out a long sigh, exhaustion already settling in as he prepared for the worst possible thing to flow out of Mahiru's mouth. Body covered under the kotatsu, he lifted himself up rather slowly and found himself in a hunched sitting position, his legs still resting under the warmed furniture.

“What?” he asked lethargically after a few agonizing seconds, looking at Mahiru with tired, lidded eyes.

The confidence in the brunette faltered as Kuro took a lifetime to adjust himself, yet he took a deep breath and stomped over to the table, sitting himself down under the kotatsu with his servamp. Mahiru stared intensely at the red eyes that slowly blinked back at him; Kuro, waiting and bored, lifted his tea to drink.

Mahiru could feel his heart beating through his chest; like a weight, almost. He felt dizzy and suddenly, as he spoke, it became all the more harder to breathe.

“S-So…,” Mahiru started carefully, “I never really had anyone to talk to personally… I guess, since my uncle is always away. It was just… Weird, y’know? Bringing certain things up was embarrassing…” Mahiru gave a shy smile. “And I'm not really sure how to go about this and I don't know what made me come out here but-- A-Ah, um…”

Keep it simple.

P-Please don't think differently of me…, he thought.

Mahiru took another inhale and his fingers began to fumble as Kuro set down his tea. The latter watched his partner’s face flush ever so slightly.

“I think I like guys. But, uh, not… N-Not girls as well, just… Only guys. I-I think..”

Mahiru turned his gaze down to the floor, avoiding the surprised look he got from his servamp. Kuro stared slightly wide-eyed, expecting a million other different things; from something as trivial as chores, to something as serious as their contract. Possible problems within their bond was a personal fear Kuro had, maybe he was just overthinking? But, he could see how tense Mahiru was without ignoring it, as well. “You… Ah, that's new… You don't seem sure, Mahi,” he said slowly, not wanting to make the other even more nervous. “Did you.. Only just now decide that?”

Thinking of ways to reply, Mahiru put his hands against his face; perhaps in an attempt to hide himself, he didn't know why exactly. It flustered him nonetheless. “I don't know… I know it's simpler to just give my feelings a name, just like my uncle had always said, but,” Mahiru spoke through his hands, and let out a slightly pained laugh as he repeated his uncle’s words from the past. He brought his hands down to finally rest them on the table, and frustrated with himself, stared down every detail of his skin. His voice quivered, as if he was on the verge of breaking down into tears, but even so the brunette kept himself composed. “At the same time, it's too hard… A-And I don't know what to do. I just… Thought it would help me if I talked to you. I trust you, after all, Kuro. I've felt this way for a while, but it's scary…”

Kuro took in every word that Mahiru spoke, and he felt sympathy towards the boy as he tripped over his words and quickly ran out of breath. Kuro sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, mentally contemplating what he could possibly say before it was too late and his Eve ran away in a fit of anxiety. “I get it, I guess,” he spoke up hesitantly. He breathed a long sigh before continuing. “It's really… A pain to decide on something as stupid as a label. I'm immortal, Mahiru, and I’ve had my fair-share of male and female partners. I guess I just go with the flow, as they say.” Kuro patted the seat next to him for Mahiru to come over, moving a few inches to make room on his end of the kotatsu. “Some things can't be named right away, and some things can't be named at all sometimes.”

As the sleepy servamp finished his speach, the young Eve stared up at him with almost visibly sparkling eyes. He noticed Kuro beginning to welcome him over next to him; though at first anxious to accept, Mahiru crawled over and fit his legs beneath the blanket, his lower body’s side pressed against Kuro’s. Skinship was normal between them, after all, and Mahiru had no problem in letting it happen as the two had such a tight bond. “You…You don't think of me differently?” Mahiru questioned with a laugh of relief; still feeling tense, he attempted to let his body slouch and relax. In response to this, Kuro wrapped an arm around his partner’s shoulder, holding him close and rubbing soothing circles into his arm with an extended thumb. He could feel the other still slightly shaking, but Mahiru thought the action to be comforting and over time found himself becoming almost limp against his partner’s body. “I could never. You didn't do anything.”

“You're really wise when you want to be, y'know that?”

“It's usually a hassle, but… Ah, you deserve it, Mahi.”

“Thank you, Kuro,” Mahiru said after a moment, gratefully accepting the touches Kuro gave him. His voice was still trembling and the lump in his throat was almost audible, but neither seemed to mind it as they remained quiet after that.


“So who do you like, anyway? Anyone in particular?” Kuro asked casually, as the atmosphere seemed to calm.

“Wha--? You ask that shamelessly… So suddenly?!” A bright red color spread across Mahiru’s face, as he turned his head away to respond. “...I'm sure it might surprise you, but…,” he sighed, “that's for some other time, I think.”

Mahiru stole a glance at the hand still moving patterns on his side, before smiling and closing his eyes in admiration.

“Whatever you say,” Kuro yawned into his free hand.

Notes:

sometimes i get a little upset when reading fics because they don't deal with the trials of self-discovery as teenagers, and although i love the head-strong attitude mahiru has, i believe he'd also struggle with his emotions. people forget he's still young and has a lot to go through.

ah, being young and full of hormones is truly a fucking nightmare.

i've had writers block so this is probably kind of paced badly?? idk.

i'm working on the beginning of a chaptered story i want to write, and will definitely cover this problem in it. this, however, is just a one-shot to get in the groove.