Work Text:
Sixteen missed calls from jimin
Four voice messages from jimin
23:07, Friday
"Yoongi, answer your damn phone, I am worried to death. Call back as soon as you can."
23:29, Friday
"We can work this through, you can't just run away everytime this happens, this wont solve anything."
23:45, Friday
"Yoongi, I swear to god I'm gonna call the police if you don't at least give me a sign, that you're still alive."
2:14, Saturday
"... Yoongi, about what the police just told me... please tell me it isn't true. You told me you changed.. y-you said you were done with that part of your life. Yoongi why- .. you know what, I'm done. I can't keep up with this anymore. Goodbye, Yoongi."
~
2 ½ years later
Yoongi looked at himself in the mirror. The suit he was wearing looked good, but it didn't look right.
The tie wrapped around his neck like it was trying to choke him and the belt around his waist made him feel like he was wearing a dog leash.
He didn't like this outfit one bit, he'd rather walk around naked than in this stuck up shit. But, there was nothing he could do against it, the premiere would start in a few hours and the big moment would arrive.
After more than three years he would finally bring out his latest movie – and he wasn't even satisfied with it. Yoongi was known to make films with drastic, unhappy, but realistic endings. But it was different with this movie in which he chose to end it all in a very cliché, everyone-is-happy-let's-all-eat-cake-and-laugh-forever way.
If he could, he would change it all and create the real ending he wanted for this film, but he couldn't, not like this. Not when his life was that big of mess, that would only make it worse. If his life couldn't have a happy ending, at least his movie should have.
"You ready?", he swirled around. Namjoon, his assistant and good friend, stood in the doorframe and smiled at him. "No." Namjoon laughed.
"Thought so. Do you need anything?", he slowly approached him. Yoongi remained silent and turned back to the mirror. "A new stylist maybe.", he mumbled. "Well, that request is a bit too late, to be honest. We have like three hours left." Yoongi sighed, of course that wasn't really what he needed.
"C'mon yoongs, what's with the bad mood, shouldn't you be happy? We worked so hard and long on this."
"I just don't feel like I worked hard enough.", he looked at his feet.
"Yeah, well what do you expect. You were still recovering, of course you can't immediatly work your ass off. You may be the oh so big and talented Yoongi, but you're still human.", Namjoon snorted. "Ugh, we should have cut out that last part. Our first version was way better. And besides, the cinematography doesn't even match the mood-" "Ugh, shut up. I'm so over you complaining about these little things we literally changed like fifty times just because you always changed your mind." He wrote multiple skripts for it only to throw them away, again and again until he just gave up and put everything he could come up with in it, not really caring anymore. While the whole crew was very happy with their work, yoongi almost couldn't bare to watch the film without pausing it and imagining how he could have done it differently. Namjoon walked out of the room, shaking his head and sighing quietly.
Yoongi took out his phone and clicked on his gallery. Ah, there he is, he thought. He looked at these pictures at least once a week, even though he already knew every pixel without even looking. That was his only way to see him. He only looked at the pictures, he wouldn't dare to watch the videos he had of him. No, hearing his voice and seeing his face would only break him. Videos really were too much... or- at least he thought so. At this very moment he had an undescribable desire to click on the play button and drown in the memories he had of him. His finger ever so slowly moved to the screen and hestitated just a milimeter infront of it. He was about to back away, like he always did when he wanted to watch these videos, but this time his body suddenly reacted on it's own and his finger touched the screen.
Jimin was about to shove fries in his mouth, when he looked over at his boyfriend. Yoongi looked at him with a bored expression, while holding up his phone. "Yoongi, do you have to film me, while I'm stuffing my face like a swine?", Jimin asked annoyed. He nodded without changing his facial expression. "...Why?"
"So I can show you this, when you have one of your five minutes again and blabb about finally going on a diet. This is how it ends everytime, I don't want to hear it anymore." His face crunched up and he looked at his hand full of fries. "You're right", he murmured. He was about to put them back when yoongi almost yelled. "No, no, no. Ýoung man. you're eating these damn fries. I know that you didn't eat shit all day and I'm definetly not eating them after you had them in your sweaty ass hands." Jimin looked at him shocked at his outbreak but immediatly began laughing.
"They're not sweaty!", he protested under laughter. "That's not the point.", Yoongi insisted and of course he understood, he only said these words for him to eat and not starve himself, even though he didn't intend to do that. He just forgot to eat and it was hot, so he was more thirsty than hungry anyways.
"Yes, Your Highness.", he giggled and finally ate his fries. Yoongi nodded and zoomed in on his face. When he was finished he smiled sweetly at the camera and whispered
"I love you, Yoongi."
With this the thumbnail appeared again and the video stopped. Yoongis breathing was uneven and it was like he couldn't feel his face. As expected, looking at videos wasn't good for his heart, especially him saying these four words he craved to hear much more often. Yet, he couldn't stop watching them. Them going on holiday, sneaky videos of Jimin cooking or reading a book, a normal walk through the park or just them goofing around. Even though he knew word for word he was always fascinated by these happy times everytime they had.
"Do you think Dumbledore would have fucked Harry if he was his age?" Jimin stood infront of Yoongi's bed. "Wha- What kind of question even is that? Just come to bed." Jimin, clearly not satisfied with that answer, sighed and walked out of the room. "This is what happens when you give him too many sweets to eat. He starts questioning life. He'll think about incredibly dumb stuff.", Yoongi wispered. "I heard that!", Jimin angrily stormed back into the room and threw himself on the bed, Yoongi screamed and the video cut off.
This love, this happiness, of which he could only dream of now, was once something he got every day. Suddenly someone pushed him. "Yoongi! Wake up, do you know how many times I called you now?", Namjoon looked at him suspiciously. Fuck it, Yoongi thought, I have nothing to lose. He turned to his friend. "You have Taehyung's number, right?" He looked confused. "Who?" "Kim Taehyung!" Namjoon looked through his contacts. "Yeah, but.."
"Good, I have to copy it real quick.", Yoongi interrupted him. "Why the hell do you need that weirdos number?" Yoongi smirked. "Not important, call Sam Soon, Chaewon, Eunji and Gyeongsuk. Tell them I have everything under control, they don't need to worry about anything tonight. Oh and Namjoon, prepare the room." "What?! The room?! You can't be serious! What the fuck is even going on?!" Yoongi was long gone, already dialing the number of Taehyung.
Jimin was just about to get ready for bed when his doorbell rang. "Huh? It's already this late, who the hell wants something from me at this hour?" He walked to the door of his flat and opened it carefully. "Jimin!", his best friend stormed in without saying anything else. "Well, hello to you too.", he mumbled as he closed the door and followed his best friend, who was already going through his wardrobe." "Ya! What the hell, my underwear is in there!"
"Who cares, you gotta get dressed, quickly!" Multiple suits and shirts were thrown out and slammed on the bed. "Choose one, wash your face and lets go." Jimin took a deep breath.
"First tell me why you're here, where we're going and why it's gotta be super quick." "I don't want you to go there alone, to a cinema, the show will begin in half an hour. No more questions? Good, I'll wait outside." With that Jimin was left alone in his mess of a room.
As he came out of his room his best friend turned around angrily.
"What took you so- oh... I was about to yell at you but you look way too good for that now, so lets just go."
"Tahyung, please just tell me what's up."
He sighed heavily and patted his head. "Sorry, but we really don't have time for that, let's go."
"So, we're going to the cinema, right?", Jimin asked as they sat in the car. Taehyung nodded quickly, while speeding up.
"What are we going to watch?", he asked happily, this was actually kind of exciting. "I forgot the name to be honest, but it's a love story and today is the premiere." "Whoa, but wont that be expensive?", Jimin hadn't been to such an big event in years. "Yeah, but I think tonights different.", Taehyung smiled knowingly. "Huh.."
When they arrived Taehyung carefully looked at the poster infront of the cinema. "Ugh, of course they had to put his name on this damn thing.", he whispered.
"What?" He smiled brightly at Jimin. "Nothing! Just close your eyes and lets go."
"Tae, I think I know who's flim this is now.", Jimin said. Taehyung was acting way too suspicous the whole ride and Jimin wasn't dumb, he still knew that his ex was a famous director. He looked surprised. "Well, thats good I guess. Let's go, then.", he was about get out of the car. "Tae.", he said breathlessly. "Hm?", he turned around, Jimin was trembling, doing his best to hold his tears back. "I don't think I can handle seeing him live and in person after these years."
"But I know you want to.", Taehyung couldn't give in, it broke his heart to see his long time best friend struggling like that, when he knew exactly what he went through. "Everytime you get really drunk you talk about driving to his house and punching him in the nuts.
Once you actually were on your way to him.", he confessed. "What?!", Jimin turned bright red. "Why did you never tell me that?? You know I can't remember anything the morning after!" Tae rolled his eyes.
"Why do you think? Because I thought this was just a phase you had while you're drunk, but no – every damn time you think of new ways to crush one of his body parts and afterwards you cry your heart out because you want to take the punches back and hug him."
Jimin was now squealing of embarrasement while holding his ears shut. "I don't wanna hear it!! Why did I do that?!" Taehyung rose an eyebrow as if he was saying "you know exactly why."
"What I'm saying is, that you should just go in there and see how you feel when you see him again. Maybe you feel hatred, maybe you feel love and maybe you feel nothing. Any of those emotions would be fine, at least you confroted yourself with them.", he lectured.
Jimin was silent. Suddenly memories of Yoongis face came to his mind. His gummy smile, the way he would ruffle through his hair and stare at him with a tender gaze. Tears escaped his eyes.
"Fuck it. I will look at this asshole, realize he isn't the one and get over him.", he got out of the car and stormed to the entrance, a giggling Tae behind him. "Give me your passport.", Tae went to the security guard. "We're on the guest list.", he said. The guard read the names, nodded and let them in. "Guest list? Why?", Jimin questioned, Tae just shoved him to his seat and winked at him. Most guests already sat, waiting for the film to start. "Waah, I'm so excited, I heard it's his first happy movie." "Yeah, right. I bet he'll give us the happiest ending of them all after all these sad endings in his previous movies." Jimin shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Yoongi had always mentioned he never wanted to make a movie with a completly happy ending but to let it end in atleast a bittersweet way. Appreantly he forgot about that. It was also his first romance themed movie. He truly changed after.. that.. happened. All the lights went out and silence filled the room. Jimin's heart began to beat rapidly, making him almost choke for air. Any minute now he will stand directly in front of him, well with a distance of like 25 meters.
But – nothing happened. No one walked on the stage. All Jimin heard were imaptient whispers which he wanted to shut up. The screen lit up and the friendly advise to turn off all cellphone devises was displayed. "That's it? He's just not going to show up?", Taehyung clenched his fist. "Why did he even call in the first-" "Hello, my dear audience, what a pleasure to meet you. Yes this is indeed live, incase you're wondering.", Yoongi's smirking face showed up on screen – the crowd cheered, Jimin froze. He looked just like he remembered him: confident, a bit messy and absolutely stunning. "Soo, you might be wondering – why isn't that asshole on stage? Why do I have to get up and move to see this movie, when he can lazily sit in some room and not move a muscle. Well, because I can." The crowd snickered, he still was a king in entertaining the mass with just about anything he said. "Of course this isn't the only reason. This is a very special day, because this is the only day I will show the real version of this movie. On the other days the normal version will air, so yeah you're all very special snowflakes who get to see this once-in-a-life-time version." With every word he said he wrapped the crowd more and more around his finger. Everybody showed great reactions and he couldn't see it, even though his first priority in making a movie was to see people enjoying his work. "Also, might I add, that I'm wearing sweat pants and a sweater right now, which normally also only selected people get to see.", he winked and girly screams were heard, mixed with laughter. "So, let me explain how this evening will work, I will show you the film, in the special version of course and stop it a few time here and there and say a few things and maybe just let it replay for comedic relief. After that you can tweet me anything you want to ask on twitter with the hashtag #wtfwasthatyoongi. Now, let's begin, I hope you enjoy the show." Everybody cheered and the title appeared on the screen
"Sixteen missed calls from him"
"To me he was like the air in my lungs, the beat my heart made, everything my eye wanted to see."
A deep voice said while the screen was completly blank. Then the first image appeared.
A mess of a man laid on the ground. "I know this is the most cliché start there could be to a film, but it's the cruel reality." Again, a black screen, then the words "based on a true story."
"I always had a problem with controlling my anger." Screaming, something shattered in the distance.
"It's always been that way and I honestly don't know why. With the angel-like people surrounding me I shouldn't ever have a reason to be that furious. " A group of people lovingly smiled in the camera. "And honestly, they never were reason why I became angry, it was always me. I was angry at myself, because I was a failure. A failure at life. " The screenplay stopped and Yoongis face popped up.
"Hey, me again. So, this is the first part which I have a comment on, I know, I totally ruined the mood, but I just wanted to show you people how serious that anger problem was." The movie continued, a scene was shown in which the main actor completly flipped out and destroyed a room full of equipment while screaming like he was about to murder a few people. "Yeah, we didn't make this scene up, that actually happened almost excatly as here played out. I actually still have..", Yoongi turned around to pick something up.
"This computer screen I destroyed while one of my rampages." The screen looked like a wild animal had been trying to tear it up. Yoongi looked directly in the camera as if he was looking at the crowd. "That thing was expensive.", he whispered.
The actor appeared again. "The only thing that could calm me down was him." A man ran up to him and hugged him tightly, the man immediatly calmed down, not wanting to hurt him. "Of course, everybody had this fear, that one day he couldn't calm me down and I would hurt him. He didn't have this fear." The two actors sat on the ground, completly wrapped up in each other, him carefully patting the main actors back. "And so, I also didn't have it."
The first warm tears started to roll down Jimin's cheeks. He remembered these type of days. There weren't many, but they were drastic. Yoongi drowned in self-hate on these days and Jimin couldn't do anything against it.
"What calmed me down when he wasn't there you ask? Well,..." Smoke was blown in the air, syringes fell to the ground, white powder swirled through the air. "you get three guesses." The scenery changed. Everything was bright and the couple laid on the couch hugging each other tight while laughing uncontrollably, not paying attention to what was on TV. "Of course, these days happend very rarely, usually we could only be described as the human embodiment of happiness."
Jimin couldn't bear to watch it anymore. Every single one of these moments seemed familiar to him. "Tae, let's just-", he turned his head but Taehyung wasn't next to him anymore. He left a small note on his seat.
"Tell me how it ends."
Jimin clenched his fist. "Fucking asshole", he whispered while shaking his head. The happy scenes continued with the crowd falling more and more inlove with this incredible couple. "Yeah, as you can see, he made the world a whole lot less cruel." A low quality video in first person view showed up, but something was different. That wasn't the actor that appeared through out the rest of the movie.
"I-Is that me?!", Jimin rubbed his eyes carefully and stared back at the screen. Yes, definitely, that boy happily smiling at the person behind the camera was him. "So, Mister Park, where are we today?", Yoongis voice appeared and everybody held their breaths in shock. Jimin held an imaginary microphone in front of his face and made a serious expression. "We are here live from Italy enjoying the beautiful view of-" "you", yoongi interrupted him. "Huh?", Jimin had his hand streched at the scenery behind him. "The most beautiful view is still you." He began laughing. "Yeah, yeah stop being so cheesy." The main actor appeared again, sitting in a dark room watching a video of the exact same scene but with the original actors in it.
He clicked a button and another video popped up, again not of the actor but of Jimin. He was ranting about something unimportant stomping his feet while begin filmed from behind from a distance. "What do you think, Yoongi?", he asked while leaning over the counter infront of him "Your butt is pretty great." Laughter filled the room, even Jimin let out a quick laugh only to cough and put on a straight face. A smiling Yoongi appeared on the screen. "Aah, what great times those were.", he shook his head, still smiling and looked up again. "I bet your butt is still one of the greatest.", he said teasingly. Jimin had to hold his face so that he wouldn't fall in a trance in which he was crying his eyes out and laughing at the same time. The movie continued. "But all this happiness was destroyed, by one person. Myself. In one night only."
"Yoongi, answer your damn phone, I am worried to death. Call back as soon as you can." Jimin's voice appeared.
"It was one of those night were just nothing seemed to work and my anger had an especially wild out break."
"We can work this through, you can't just run away everytime this happens, this wont solve anything."
The same scene from the beginning appeared. "I destroyed basically everything I created and planned on for so long just because of this damn anger problem. I was so scary that night, I didn't dare to call him, I really couldn't control myself, so I left this damned place as soon as I could and did what I always did."
"Yoongi, I swear to god I'm gonna call the police if you don't at least give me a sign, that you're still alive."
Police sirens, then nothing but his voice.
"... Yoongi, about what the police just told me... please tell me it isn't true. You told me you changed.. y-you said you were done with that part of your life. Yoongi why- .. you know what, I'm done. I can't keep up with this anymore. Goodbye, Yoongi."
The main actor woke up in a hospital and began a therapy. He completely recovered and was standing on his own feet again.
He looked normal again, but not completely alive. He stood in the middle of an empty apartment blankly staring at the white wall. A door screeching let's him spin around. Yoongi appears again, the same blank espression on his face.
"Well, folks and that's how it ends. I know, rumors were this is the first movie which finally has a happy ending and honestly, the normal ending is pretty happy. They meet in this apartment smile and kiss each other and that's the end. They're back together, the old times can come back and everyone is happy. But that's not the truth.
I haven't seen this boy since the day I had the overdose. I think the last thing I said to him was something like "I'll come home late tonight" or "Don't wait for me with diner" Well, it definitly wasn't what I was suppossed to say." Jimin shook his head.
He remembered the day exactly, Yoongi didn't say anything when he got out of the door, he just hugged him and kissed his cheek, as if he was already saying goodbye. "Well anyways, nows the time, you are now allowed to pull out your phone, go on twitter and ask me anything you'd like to know and I'll answer it here, live."
The credits began to roll. The lights went on and the crowd began standing up and cheering like crazy, most of the peple looked like they cried really hard while watching, but they still seemed to love it. As they calmed down, they all took out their phones and began typing.
"The hashtag is #wtfwasthatyoongi.", he reminded them. Soon it was a trending topic.
Yoongi scrolled through the hastag and lightly chuckeled. "Alright, let's see what you people want to know. "What went through your mind while you destroyed that room?"
Well, not much but pure rage. That's the only way to describe it. It's like your completely blank but something inside you screams like a dying animal. As for the actor who brilliantly acted out this scene, I think everything in his mind was like
"I sure hope I don't hurt myself while I completely set this a room apart. We did this scene in one take and luckily he only had minor injuries."
"Oh man, I don't know what to ask, it's like I'm still in the film", the same people from before whispered behind Jimin. "When did you decide to show this 'special version' and not the normal one and why? Well, that was like two or one and half hours before the event started and why, well I just had to. It would feel wrong to show this fake ending without ever explaining what the real ending is like.",
Yoongi's face suddenly lit up.
"You know, I see the questions about the boy, I'm ignoring them on purpose.", he chuckled. He continued. "Alright I'll answer a few at the end but firstly let's answer some about the movie." And so he did, they were the typical interview questions, really nothing special but he still managed to answer them with charme and a bit of humour.
"Ok let's start with what the crowd really want's to know" Immediatly the hashtag was spammed with questions. "Have you ever tried contacting the boy after that day? Well, no, not until today." Jimin coughed. He did? Jimin checked his phone, but there were no unanswered texts or calls. "I called his best friend to bring him here today.", he laughed. "I don't know if he managed to do it though, I could hardly even get him to understand why I wanted the boy to watch this."
So Tae knew this would happen, Jimin glared, that traitor.
"What would you say if he was in the crowd right now? Um, that's a bit private but y'all already know the whole story so..."
He looked directly in the camera to create eye contact. Jimins insides clenched. "Hey, long time no see, I hope you're eating well. Cause I know you always forget that and then spend the next day only eating. That's not healthy sweetie." Jimin got goosebumps, he hadn't heard that nickname in a long time.
"Also... I love you." Then he turned away again. The crowd aww'd. Yoongi looked like he was frozen. He stared at the screen, then in the camera and back at the screen.
"He's there?", he whispered almost not loud enough for the others to hear him, but oh, they heard.
Everybody was looking around the room, Jimin immediatly copied them, so they couldn't see his face. "Well, anyways that was it. Thank you so much for watching and listening to everything I had to say. Drive safely, good night!" The screen went blank. Light applause.
Some people seemed to finally recognize Jimin, he just nodded and cleaned his face from tears, no one wanted to bother him. The people were leaving the room, but not Jimin. He wasn't able to. He continued to stare at the screen and tried to realise everything that happend in the last few hours. He didn't know how long he sat there until someone showed up.
"Sir, the movie is over, we have to clean here."
"I can't"
"Excuse me?"
"I can't leave.", he insisted.
"...May I ask why you can't leave?"
"I can't move my body for some reason."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, i think they put subliminal messages in this to mind control you." The voice chuckled.
"Yeah that could be." Jimin sighed heavily. "Was the movie not enjoyable, Sir?"
"Well.. I don't know. I mean, I didn't hate it."
"That's a cruel thing to say.", the voice sweeped in amusement. "The acting was good, I liked the scenery and the whole thing was good, I just knew the story already.", he explained like he had to defend himself.
"Oh, you knew the story?", the voice sounded surprised. "Yeah."
"How is that possible, Sir?"
"I read the book.", he lied. "The book?", the person laughed. "I don't believe this movie had a book."
"Yeah ok, alright I was a part of the story in real-life." "Oh, really, what part did you play?" he heard steps nearing him. "I was the father." "Are you sure?", the voice was next to his ear. "Yeah...", he whispered.
"Well, I'm pretty sure you were one of the main charactors." He knew it was him. The moment he spoke out to him he knew it.
He just didn't want to give in and believe that it was him. Jimin finally turned his head to look at him. Yoongi smiled tenderly, like he always had and patted his bangs. Jimin quickly looked away.
"Anyways, I just wanted you to know that my eating habits are completly different now."
"I'm glad.", he kept stroking his hair. "And my butt isn't one of the greatest, it's the greatest, Mister. If you will you could even call it THE butt of butts.", he murmered.
"Oh believe me, no one knows that fact better than me." He stopped his movement. "Or at least I hope I do.", he whispered.
Jimin looked at him. "Well, I sure as hell don't show Taehyung my ass." Happily Yoongi wiped away imaginary sweat. He rested his hand on Jimins shoulder and Jimin carefully put his over Yoongis. It was like the world stopped. His breathing was at an erratic speed. "What, are you nervous, little boy?", Jimin teased him.
"I feel like I have to carry the whole world on my shoulders right now, that's how nervous I am.", he admitted. Jimin laughed and looked up at him. His face crunched up. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Smile and look at me. I'm not ready yet, my heart can't take that much."
He turned away and giggled. "Oh my god, even that's too much.", Yoongi groaned. "Actually, never mind, please look at me."
He turned to look at him again, not able to contain his smile. "You know, if you don't stop, I wont be able to control myself." Jimin laughed even more. "Then don't." Yoongi stopped breathing for a moment, not able to comprehend what was happening, then threw himself at Jimin, peppering his face with light kisses while holding it steadlily in his hands. He squealed laughing and stopped Yoongi by planting a kiss on his lips which he immediatly responded to and deepened. Fireworks errupted in Jimins chest and he held Yoongi even closer. Yoongi couldnt get enough of the taste of Jimin he so desperatly missed
As they parted and pressed their foreheads against each other he smiled at him again and said "I guess now you can show your normal ending to the crowd."
"Oh believe me sweety, the normal ending isn't even near as great as this." "Good thing I recorded it." Namjoon stood there wiggeling his camera in the air. "That's nice and all, but please get out.", Yoongi looked at him with an annoyed expression. "I wanna make out with the boy I love and I really don't need you watching me."
And so they did. A lot.