Work Text:
Sniping
F: So where’s our leader today?
R: He mentioned something about art before he left…
A: Doesn’t Yusuke have a show today?
F: Ugh!
F: ( _ _)T
F: Damn Inari! Taking away my Key Item!
…
A: Okay, not even touching that last part, but c’mon Futaba, Yusuke’s… okay
R: Guy wanted to draw you naked after just meeting you, pretty sweet dude in my book
A: SHUT UP RYUJI!!
A: Jeez! No one asked about that!
F: Didn’t have to? I already knew that…
A: What-how?!
F: ufufufufu
F: but! Not important!
F: NEEEEEEEEEEEED my Key Item!!
R: I think she’s going nuts again, I’m out
F: >3< not like I need you!! Broji!
…
A: Uh… right
A: But seriously, I’m sure he’s fine, I mean… Yusuke’s… unique, but he’s not bad, he helped us get you after all
F: >/
F: Stupid Inari
F: Taking my Key Item
A: heh… you do know stuff like that can be misinterpreted, right Futaba?
F: LW
A: well, like how you complain about Yusuke, and he glares back…
A: there’s some anime term for this I’m sure
F:…
F: ……………..
F: …………………………..
F: OH NO!
F: NONONONONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
M: What in the world is going on here?
F: NO WAY!
F: DON’T EVEN JOKE LIKE THAT CATWOMAN!
A: I am not Catwoman!
F: uses a whip, dresses in leather like a cat, and steals stuff = Catwoman
A: …
F: but that’s not THE POINT!!
F: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
R: so is that her cussing?
M: I don’t even know what’s going on
F: biggest X I can find I throw at Catwoman!!
A: hey!
F: POINT! Catwoman!
A: well I roll my eyes so hard~
F: Touché
F: POINT! Is… you suggesting there’s some ulterior motive to my sniping on Inari
F: Well there isn’t!
F: Unlike you! I’m wise to his evils!
A: unlike me? What?!
F: he is a devious creature from the blackest pits!
F: he is a soulless evil scourge on the digital lands!
F: and it is my job, along with my Key Item, to slay this monster!
R: See, this is why I get lost talking with you guys
M: I can agree with that
A: I don’t even know what’s going on anymore?!
F: Inari is a wicked evil creature and you should be ashamed of yourself for even suggesting such a vile thing Catwoman!
A: Okay, can you please stop calling me Catwoman…
A: I mean, that’s actually kind of cool since she was my favorite as a kid, but that’s not the point!
F: Ha! See!
A: Ugh, Futaba, I was joking!
F: NO YOU WEREN’T!!
A: I mean… I’m not the only one right?
R: Nope!
M: Please don’t drag us into this
A: What?! C’mon! she’s always getting on Yusuke for… well, honestly I don’t know, but that’s like… that’s a thing isn’t it? always getting on each other’s nerves to cover up a secret crush or something?
R: Nope
M: I have no idea what you mean
F: See! You can’t ask them Catwoman cuz that trope is already in effect there
F: Whereas with me and (ew) Inari, I believe the word you’re looking for is Sniping
R: Wait did you just suggest something?
F: See, sniping is not just taking potshots at one another on occasion to get a rise out of the other cuz some weird fetish for pissing off the one you secretly like… or you think its cute to rile them up
M: seriously, what is this all about?
F: whereas with sniping, as what Inari and I do since we are mortal enemies locked in fierce combat, is completely different!!
F: We don’t LIKE it, there’s just a legitimate reason for taking those shots at the cracks in the armor verbally!
F: JUSTICE WILL BE HAD!!
R: I am so lost
A: O-kay… sorry to joke about anything, but seriously, Futaba, what started this beef you have with Yusuke
A: like I said, he’s a bit weird, but overall harmless?
R: Kinda like Futaba :D
F: DON’T EVEN BROJI!!
F: rains down vengeance!
M: Are we talking about how Futaba-chan and Yusuke don’t get along?
A: Yes!
R: I guess?
F: VENGENCE!!
M: Oh
M: Well, then… Futaba-chan, are you still mad about Yusuke rearranging your dolls?
F: YES!!
F: and they were ACTION FIGURES!!
F: MY POOR CHILDREN!!
F: T.T struck down in their prime by that evil kitsune
F: only a truly heartless monster would take them apart like that and put them back together all wrong… I almost gave up on them ever recovering…
R: Are you seriously saying their little spat is cause he messed with her toy?
F: ACTION FIGURES!!
M: it would seem so
A: oh… well…
A: Yea, that sounds bad
A: Yusuke is a bit weird and airheaded like that
A: I went shopping with him, looking for a new outfit to help with a shoot, and he started working on a skirt I was trying on, trying to ‘make it look better’
A: I mean he was right, but to do alterations before it was even paid for?
M: That doesn’t sound quite the same
A: It’s not?
F: ITS NOT!! >(
F: Yes, he’s a weird kitsune, but Inari is still a jerk who has yet to apologize for butchering my children, he’s permabanned from my room thanks to that, and he will always be ‘damn Inari’
R: Damn, I think I get how Futaba feels, I’d be pretty pissed if someone started messing with stuff in my room
M: I’m sure a little cleaning wouldn’t hurt
R: Cleaning is one thing, but some things are sacred about a man’s room and should not be touched!!
A: Okay, ignoring that, seriously Futaba, that’s it? That’s why you guys are always fighting?
F: Sniping
F: and yes, he started this war and I’ll be damned if he finishes it!!
A: I don’t even…
A: Fine, I’ll never suggest again anything between you guys, jeez
R: Shouldn’t have said anything to begin with Ann, they are really at each other’s throats, like the kind of weird kids that would do weird stuff but not follow normal logic like in anime and stuff
M: because that makes sense?
R: of course it does!
F: I’m gonna stop that fight right here! Cause yes! Inari and I aren’t ‘normal’ people, we’re masters of our craft, he’s pure evil, and I’m the divine hammer of justice in this barren land and HE WILL RUE THE DAY HE HURT MY BABIES!!
F: also, see, that right there Ann
A: Wait-what?!
F: and its gone!
F: thanks for playing, way to miss the jackpot round
F: :D
… the leader of the Phantom Thieves stared at his phone.
It had been going off for the past twenty minutes. To the point he had to leave the art gallery because the constant chirping was annoying people and they were giving him dirty looks. The Art world was a truly dangerous place filled with scary people. Yusuke was a brave man.
The art prodigy had called him over to overlook his work and help him scope out the crowd, getting reactions and gauging how people were generally taking in his new piece. It was good, really, but Yusuke’s eccentricity was pretty obvious in it. The guy could not read a room to save his life, and while that was precious in certain instances, this was not one of them.
Yusuke needed to know if people understood his work, which he was convinced they weren’t. Art people were weird, so maybe some of them understood what the estranged former apprentice was going for. He sure as hell didn’t know, it looked pretty to him and that was about as far as his grasp on art went.
So secretly he was thankful for the explosion of texts on his phone.
The content and ensuing debacle between the team… not so much.
With a heavy sigh the Leader of the Phantom Thieves stared at his phone, knowing he should probably say something to help alleviate any misunderstandings and help smooth things over.
Pi-pi-pi
Y: I am not evil! Stop calling me Inari!
F: YOU ARE!!
F: and never!
Y: and all I did was make them more aesthetically pleasing to look at, previously they looked foolish so I fixed that
F: YOU ARE SOULLESS!!
… The leader of the Phantom Thieves hoped the team could hear how hard he was facepalming.