Chapter Text
“I was thinking about our trip to the Grand Canyon with Carl”
Rick answered his wife with a laugh, not taking his eyes of the road. Quite wise, since they were driving at a relatively high speed.
“I don’t remember that” Carl answered instead. He was leaning against Eleanor’s arm, who hanged over the back seat, and prevented him to bump his head on the hard frame of the car.
“Oh no… you wouldn’t, you were just a baby,” said Lori “besides; we never made it past Fort Worth”
“No, you are right. You got sick,” He said, glancing at his son trough the mirror “…. I never knew a baby could throw up so much”
“ew!” “ick!?” said Carl and Sophia in disgust
“Now, isn’t that lovely? Ugh… I can see it,” Eleanor complained, letting her free arm cover her eyes and laying her head from the other side of the back seat. “It’s official now… I’m never going to have babies,”
Rick barked a laugh in response, one that Lori and Carol had no qualms in following.
They were on their route to Fort Benning. Despite Eleanor’s impression of the place being deserted, they decided to take the shot. There was really no other place to go after the CDC fiasco; and the lack of response from the radio didn’t mean that the place had been overrun. Also, given that they had less cars now, groups started to travel together. Carol had taken a liking to Rick’s family, Sophia hanged around Carl almost all the time, and Eleanor was seen now in a position of trust. Both women often trusted their kids to her now, and Eleanor… even if she liked the consideration, felt anxious of the sudden responsibility.
Even so, it was going to be okay. She had accommodated herself on the back of the car, a space that they accommodated to have her riding long distances, while Sophia, Carol and Carl took the back seat. She couldn’t complain, she had accommodated in worse places, and she didn’t really suffer from motion sickness… unless she was focusing her gaze on something.
“So… I’m assuming you turned around and drove back,” she stated.
“yep… after we took him to a doctor in Texas” finished Lori
“well that sucks” grimaced Carl
“no…. it was a good trip” said Lori, getting a hand on Rick’s shoulder.
“can we go see it? The Grand Canyon?” asked Carl, and Sophia asked the same
“of course you can… it’s not like it’s going anywhere is it?” teased Eleanor and Carl smirked
“we would never go without you and your mom…. It’s a promise” said Rick, while Sophia and Carol cuddled.
“Have you gone to the Grand Canyon Eleanor?” Asked Rick suddenly, and Carl turned his head to look at the young woman. She smiled.
“I may have, but I can’t remember a thing. I guess I was too young when I went,” she commented and ruffled his head; “Wouldn’t hurt to visit it again, right?”
Carl snickered and moved to sit straight once again. Almost on instinct, Eleanor turned her gaze to Lori, who was looking through the window. Right… no more animosity there, as far as she knew.
Only some miles later, the car started to slow down. That got Eleanor interested and she turned to look at the front. Soon, her curiosity turned to worry.
They were still on the highway, but there was a car blockade. Many of these could be found when close to towns and cities, the people that tried to leave to somewhere safer often ended up leaving their cars because they were scared, dying, or worse… turning. It was an awful reminder of what had come to happen, how many lives were lost, and how many things were of no use any longer. Back when Eleanor was alone, she preferred to travel by foot, sometimes by bicycle, instead of making the effort to use a car. Moving the cars along was going to be a titanic endeavor; trying to sneak in between them would have to turn into something even impossible… specially for the RV. Even so, Dale started to move around and low speed, the other cars followed in tow, until the first real barricade appeared on the distance.
Rick came to a screeching halt. Lori asked why was he stopping and he signaled to the front, Dale had also stopped. Frowning, Eleanor moved to kneel on the back of the car, there was still some meters up front for him to stop so suddenly. The old man jumped out of his vehicle, that trademark concerned expression on him. Glenn walked off next, and looked to the side. Eleanor let out a frustrated sigh, just what they needed… the damned thing over heated once again.
The sun was to strong, and they had to leave the car for some freshness. The others did the same, and the group gathered beside the RV to think over a solution.
“Problem Dale?” Asked Shane.
“Well it would be a small problem if we weren’t stuck in the middle of nowhere with no gasoline or water or-“
“Nothing?”
They turned to the young woman who walked forward with a confused expression. “We could split in groups, there must be another RV around here where we could get all that we need,” She turned to look around her, “And by the looks of it, we could pack ourselves with gasoline, food, and more. These cars don’t seem to have gotten very far,”
She thinned her lips, it indeed looked bad, and she was not going to deny that she was suddenly asking a lot from these people. Daryl seemed to have no problem with it, and moved to choose the first car to loot.
Dale hesitated, and looked down. “We can’t afford to look for a mechanic, Dale,” she added as a matter of fact.
“point taken,” he commented, raising his eyebrows and moving to look around. The others decided to split into groups to do the same.
“This is a graveyard,” Lori said suddenly, stopping anyone on their tracks. “I don’t know how to feel about this,”
“If this is a graveyard; you are going to find a hell lot of graveyards from here onward,” Eleanor said stepping to her. Lori wide eyed, and Eleanor took a breath, “I can’t be soft about this. Just think that they are at peace now, and the things they left behind are the things we need,”
She was met by silence, but the others started to move again. Glenn and T-dog appointed themselves to look for gasoline, and Eleanor moved to the closest car to pull out at least three bags and backpacks to carry stuff.
“I want to help,”
She turned, Carl was already standing beside her. Eleanor looked up at Lori, who was still refused to touch any of the cars. Rick turned to his wife, and seemed to say something to her… Eleanor was too far away to hear it. Only she understood she got green light when Rick moved her hand as if for her to move along.
“Okay, come with me. Don’t wander too far okay?”
“Can Sophia go too?” Carol said from the distance and Eleanor nodded, the little girl hurried to the woman’s side; and she passed the smaller backpacks to the children, one for each, and kneeled to be on their eye-level.
“Okay, let’s lay out the rules first,” She began. “We are going to look out for small things, like batteries, food, and bottles of water. Pick all the batteries you can, we’ll check if they work later. If something is too heavy call me so I can help you… and most important of all, if you come across a car with a dead person inside, even if it’s not moving call me over. Don’t go inside on your own,”
Carl nodded, and so did Sophia. Eleanor smiled and stood, walking over one car and starting to look around.
She had a personal satisfaction while looking at Carl work. The child took his job seriously, respected the rules and watched over Sophia’s progress. The little girl was hesitant to look on cars on her own, and tagged along Carl or her from time to time. On the other hand, the boy was tenacious. He called Eleanor two times, being corpses inside the cars but having enough of a good loot to leave them behind. She felt her chest rise in pride, when she walked over to pierce the corpses on the head, Carl watched intently, not cowering away… and saying nothing once the corpses were moved.
Now more than ever, Eleanor believed he’d have to learn everything she knew.
“Ellie look here!” Sophia called to her. Eleanor hurried to her side, and smiled to the girl as she signaled to a corpse on a car. It was the second car she had inspected for herself, and inside Eleanor could see a large bottle of cola… probably even sealed.
“Oh! I want that,” Eleanor said and grinned at Sophia. “All righty then! Were are not leaving without that cola,”
She opened the door and carried the corpse away. It was complete carcass, no use in piercing the head at that point, so she only let it rest on the side. Sophia and Carl were already getting out the soda and even some more food when Eleanor decided to look back at the others and to what they were doing.
Her blood ran cold.
Dozens. At least two dozens of walkers were coming in their direction. Eleanor looked as Rick ran to her, moving his hand to command them to hide. She raised her arm, acknowledging him, and he stopped, and turned to Lori and Carol. The young woman watched as the later was visibly panicked, and covered her mouth in tears.
They had walked further away that she had imagined. Eleanor turned to look at Carl and Sophia, they were not going to reach their mothers on time.
She walked to them and kneeled.
“Listen to me closely.” She commanded, Sophia immediately got scared, Carl wide eyed, and frowned. “There is a group of walkers coming this way,”
Sophia moved to whine, but Eleanor jumped and put her hand over her mouth, “No! Sh! Sh! We can’t make any noise. We’ll hide under the cars, and keep as quiet and still as we can,” Eleanor turned to Carl. “They won’t attack us if we hide, understood!”
“I want to go with mommy,” Sophia whispered scared as soon as Eleanor got her hand out of her mouth.
“We don’t have time to reach her. Get down here, at the center, yes,” She instructed, Sophia crawled under a red SUV and covered her mouth. “Good, don’t move. Carl… under this one,” she signaled the pick up on the other side.
“Where are you going to hide?” he whispered. Eleanor looked around, there was a sports car beside the others… but it was too close to the ground, she wouldn’t fit.
“With you… come on,” she whispered back, and the little guy crawled under the car. She rounded it and slid under from the other side. Her arm sneaked around carl in a protective manner, and her other free hand got hold of her bowie knife. She put that hand in front of them.
Only minutes passed, before the grunts became audible. From in between the floor and the car, Eleanor could see feet… dirty ad decaying, their direction dragged and erratic. She swallowed some saliva, this was definitely too close for comfort; she had never felt so vulnerable in the face of walkers.
She turned to check on Carl. The child had taken Eleanor’s suggestion and had covered his mouth with his hands. His respiration was agitated, but she could hear him trying to will it down. Eleanor caressed his head, and turned to check on Sophia next. The poor girl, maybe Eleanor should have tried to go inside the car with her instead… but it was far more narrow, she was sure she would be seen.
Sophia collided eyes with her, and she had a look of complete desperation, hugging her little doll, her eyes almost in tears. Eleanor moved to cover her own mouth in signal she should do the same. Sophia relented and closed her eyes tight.
It felt like hours, it almost seemed as if it will never end… but then, everything fell silent.
Was it over?... For a moment, Eleanor considered the possibility to sneak out and look if more were coming… but some part of her screamed it was the worst of ideas. She should know now, there were always some walkers that stayed a little further behind, and being the last ones that hid, they were in the most vulnerable position. If there were more walkers, it was only logical that the others would attack them… since they would have already passed.
“Elle…” She heard a whisper beside her. Carl seemed to have been thinking the same as her, and she shook her head.
“Not yet… we need to be patient,” She instructed. But as she said these words, Carl wide eyed, tugged Eleanor’s hand, and whispered to Sophia.
Eleanor turned to look. The little girl had not waited, and had snuck her arm outside of her car when a walker passed. She screamed, and alerted more. The first one fell to the ground and tried to squeeze itself under the car to get her… the little girl cried, trying to keep hidden still, but backing away.
Eleanor cursed, and released Carl to use both hands. She scooted away from him and into the light, tugging the walker by its shirt in her direction, and using her drawn blade to pierce its head. She rolled out of the vehicle and gave a look at Carl, who remained alarmed… but in silence.
“Stay where you are!” she commanded and Carl nodded. By then, Eleanor saw Sophia’s light blue shirt going in direction of the woods… at least two walkers on her tow.
She jumped past the short fence of the highway, and was met with a downhill fall. Eleanor sat to slide down and once she reached the bottom, she looked around her. Not too many meters away was Sophia, and the walkers that were following her. Eleanor jumped into action, tacking the closest one to the girl and piercing its head. Sophia screamed, and the young woman noticed that the other walker was already looming close.
“No!” She screamed, and grabbed the walker by the ankle and making it fall. They started struggling… the walker trying to catch Sophia and Eleanor trying to keep him in place. She heard the little girl scream, but it was muffled by the grunts of the walker. Eleanor grunted in frustration, she couldn’t see if Sophia was close… and keeping the walker at bay was preventing her to rise. She had to risk it… scrambling to her feet, she threw herself over the walker a second time to reach its torso at the very least. She felt herself being dragged forward, and that’s when she moved fast to kneel.
“No… you… don’t!” she said, rising her blade and piercing his head. Finally, it lay immobile, and Eleanor moved to the side to catch her breath. She looked around her, expecting to find Sophia in a corner.
She was gone.
“Sophia!” Eleanor called, but she was met with silence. A strong feeling of anxiety washed over her, and she stood up in a hurry. “Sophia! Where are you!”
Her steps became faster, but her direction more erratic. Eleanor called again, but she got back no answer. She couldn’t have banished like that… it was impossible. Her anxiety soon turned to fear when, as she advanced, she saw the form of a walker hunched over something. Rage invaded her, and she ran to it and sliced its head clean. The walker’s head, still biting fell and bounced on the side…
A squirrel. Eleanor took some steps back and covered her mouth… she was breathing too fast. But where was Sophia, where was she!
Another couple of rustles could be heard behind her. Preparing her knife, Eleanor swung around to attack at anything that came her way.
Rick and Daryl jumped some steps behind, the first one rising his hands in signal of surrender. Eleanor slumped, letting her blade hang to her side and her expression turn once more in the panic that she felt.
“Where is Sophia?” asked Daryl
“She ran away while I fought off the walkers,” the woman said in complete defeat, turning to signal behind her. “That is the only way she could have gone, we…” she said and turned to walk to that direction, but Rick had her by the shoulders.
“Hey… hey, are you okay?” he asked
Eleanor frowned and blinked several times. She couldn’t understand. She looked at herself, her clothes were disheveled and there were blood stains on them. She looked at her arms, there were no scratch marks but some blood trails.
“This blood is not mine,” she said, and moved to escape Rick’s grasp once again. This one didn’t let her, trying to call her attention one more time.
“We need to find her!” Eleanor said alarmed
“We’ll look for her, you need to return to the others,” Eleanor shook her head “You are not thinking straight, you won’t be any help this way,”
“T-dog’s got a gash on his forearm,” Daryl intervened Eleanor turned to him and frowned. “he cut with a window’s car, and he’s been bleeding out for a while now… think you can help him?”
“Y-yeah! Yeah I can…” she answered, and that’s when Rick let her go, “I’ll tell Shane to come and help you,”
“We’ll track her… rest assured,” the sheriff said, and they went on the direction she pointed.
Eleanor then began to brisk walk her way back to the highway.
When she finally reached the hill and came out of the woods, she saw Carol, Lori and Carl. At the sight of only Eleanor, Carol fell to her knees in desperation. Lori gazed terrified at Eleanor, and this one tried to fix her t-shirt.
“What happened?” asked Shane, appearing next to them.
“I lost sight of Sophia. She ran away while I was keeping the walkers at bay and… and I called for her but got no answer,” she let her hands fall “Rick and Daryl reached me, they are trying to find her…” she then turned to Carol “I-I’m so sorry,”
Her voice broke at the end, and that only made the older woman even more desperate. She cried in Lori’s arms, who looked at Eleanor in surprise. The younger woman only wanted to disappear.
“I’m going back,”
“Whoah, whoah, wait,” Shane said with a shaky grin, “T-dog is heavily injured, and you once said that you knew first aid… right?”
Eleanor looked at him and nodded. Right, she came back to the highway to treat T-dog. With a whisper she excused herself, and made her way back to their car… where she knew she had her box of medicines.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carl looked at Eleanor walk away… and could feel something squeezing his chest. He felt worried.
He had never seen the woman like this. Not this scared, not this… unbalanced.
Why did Sophia had to get out of the car? He frowned and moved to keep on inspecting some cars. If she hadn’t moved, as Eleanor had said, she wouldn’t be lost in the woods. If she hadn’t run away from Eleanor, then any of them would be so worried.
Don’t freeze, don’t be afraid of them
What were they going to do now? Eleanor was busy… his father and Shane were looking out for Sophia, his mother was consoling Carol and he was left alone. He tugged the forgotten bag that was supposed to be his and continued searching around cars. He needed to occupy his mind on something, because he was starting to over think.
What if Sophia found walkers and she was on her own? She wouldn’t be able to fight them off. What if she fell down the river or a cliff, or hit against a rock? What if she couldn’t move… What if it turned night and they still haven’t found her?
He turned again to look at the RV. He didn’t know that T-dog was injured, his mother kept it well hidden. He sighed, if he wasn’t injured, maybe Eleanor would keep on searching for Sophia. If that were the case… and she asked for help, he would volunteer. He also wanted to search, but more than that… he wanted to feel protected.
He turned to look where he was and almost jumped, startled.
He had reached a black pickup. Inside, the dry corpse of a person lied there. The rules were clear, if he found a corpse inside a car, and wanted to see what he could find inside… he had to call for Eleanor to get it. He turned to look at her, the woman seemed to be still sitting next to T-dog. She was busy. Carl moved to search for another car, defeated, but stopped mid-way.
He couldn’t be a coward. He needed to step up for himself. He could do this alone.
He opened the door, and stepped inside. The corpse really looked empty; with a tap of his fingers, he moved the forehead. It lulled from side to side. Reassured, Carl turned to look around, until his eyes landed on what looked like an axe… enveloped in a square of leather.
He had to get that… even if it was resting beside the corpse.
He moved to tug on the leather. Carl frowned, it was stuck. But he couldn’t back out now… he had reached this far. With another forceful tug, he finally managed to lift the tool, but felt something soft over his forehead… something like hair.
He yelped, and took a step behind… but lost his footing, and fell on his back. The corpse hanged like a mannequin, half out of the car. Carl couldn’t resist a smirk; he had won… he had gotten the hatchet! He moved to stand, and looked around him. Just as he did, he noticed Eleanor was still occupied, but also noticed that Glenn and Shane were returning; and decided to go to him first.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You look as white as a sheet,”
With a sigh, Eleanor opened the door of a forgotten car, and sat on an empty space inside it. Across her, T-dog looked at his stitched and bandaged arm. The man was sweating, his eyes half closed, and his shirt looked like shit.
Like bloody shit. Eleanor looked around her and pulled out a large dark blue T-shirt and gave it to T-dog. “You need to rest, our you’ll faint,”
“What happened there?”
Eleanor didn’t answer immediately. She pursed her lips… What was there to say? Because of her, Sophia was lost in the woods. She let out another sigh.
“Some walkers chased Sophia away into the woods. Rick and Daryl are looking for her now,” She stood, “however, don’t think about that. Come with me, you need to sleep and regain your forces, you are anemic because of the blood loss, and until we find enough equipment for a blood transfusion, you are on your own.
“Thank you,” he said, while the young woman looped his arm around her shoulders. They stumbled to enter the RV…
…And they found Andrea hunched in a corner, drenched in blood.
Eleanor froze again. She noticed the walker that lay down on the small space of the RV.
“Are you okay?”
The blond woman nodded, but she looked shaken. So many things had gone out so badly today. She sighed, and moved T-dog along. At the sight of the bandaged arm, Andrea seemed to wake from her own panic.
“What happened to him?” She said, trying to help t-dog walk over the walker.
“He cut his arm with a car’s window when trying to hide. It’s stitched now, but he has lost a lot of blood, he needs to rest as much as possible.” Eleanor explained, Andrea nodded. “I’ll take the walker outside, could you please keep an eye on T-dog?”
“Yeah,”
“You did well Andrea,” Eleanor said and the woman turned to her “I’m glad you are alright,”
The blond woman nodded, and moved to the bathroom. Eleanor took a deep breath, and dragged the walker outside.
“You chose the wrong day to mess around cars,” she commented, as she dragged the body outside. Eleanor was unsure what Andrea had used to kill the walker, but she had made jelly out of his face. Never mind, what was important was that she had defended herself… and when your life was in danger, anything counted as a weapon. Eleanor huffed again when the walker hit the pavement, and was about to turn to guide it somewhere… when she felt she bumped against somebody.
She yelped, and turned, and was met with Carl grimes.
The child spared a side glance to the walker before walking past Eleanor and into the RV… the attitude worried the young woman, and she forgot the corpse on the road.
“Hey! Hey, Carl what’ve you got there?” she asked, she tried to sound animated… but it came as a gentle whisper.
“Is Dale here?”
“Um… not inside the RV. Andrea is watching over T-dog though- oomph,” she said, when out of nowhere Carl pushed something into her arms, and turned to walk away again.
“h-hey wait!”
“Give that to him, would you?”
“But why? What is this?”
“Nothing,”
Something was definitely not right. Even more worried, Eleanor hurried to stand in front of Carl, and kneeled. The moment she did, she looked at Carl’s expression… and her heart broke a little.
She wasn’t sure what happened to the child, but his light blue eyes were filled with sorrow.
“Why don’t you show it to me instead? You found these right?” She asked, Carl looked to the side. “Pretty please, it might help me distract a little,”
Light blue eyes returned to look at her. They looked depressed and Eleanor’s apprehension started to turn into anger. Who was the bloody bastard that had made this awesome kid look so dejected?
“Okay,” she heard him. And he also kneeled, and opened the roll of leather. A great variety of knives and weapons were carefully guarded inside. Eleanor couldn’t help but wide eye her eyes and blink for a moment, completely stupefied.
She wasn’t aware that Carl was looking intently at her, and the boy jumped when she let out a gasp and a little cackle.
“What is this!” she pulled out the hatchet “It even has a hatchet! Where did you get this!”
Carl looked a moment at Eleanor, he was unsure but decided to answer “in an old car, a man was carrying it,”
“A man?... as in, a corpse?” she asked, “Why didn’t you call me?”
“You were occupied with T-dog… and it was not a walker so,”
This was not the moment to reprimand him, he was finally opening up. Eleanor took a breath, and smiled.
“Wow! I’ve never been that brave at your age,” she commented. Carl raised his gaze, and Eleanor patted his head, “but please… don’t tell your mom, she’ll kill us both,”
He smiled a little, and the young woman felt as if she was getting somewhere. Something must have happened, maybe he had been reprimanded… or his finding had been disregarded. Eleanor looked up, beyond the cars, searching for Lori.
She found her beside Shane, over a green car. Eleanor frowned, she was not aware that he had returned… and they looked to be talking something private.
Again, it was suspicious, but it still wasn’t her business. Her business… was to cheer Carl up.
With that mission in mind, she passed her hand over the different blades, until they landed in a small pocket knife. It was foldable, and it had a customized black blade. She pulled it out of the leather and turned it around.
“You might think I’m crazy but…” she began, and looked at him. Carl’s eyes were trailed on the blade “This one might just be your size”
The effect was instantaneous. Carl wide eyed, and gazed at Eleanor and back at the blade… in disbelief. “Of course, if I ever taught you how to use it… we would need your mom and dad to be okay with it first,”
“No way,” he said, slumping his shoulders fall, sulking. Eleanor had to bite down a laugh.
“There are certain rules that cannot be overruled my friend! And this is one of them,” She put the blade back at its place and rolled the leather, “Let me guess… we are not getting your mom’s approval any time soon,”
“She said it was crazy I wanted one of these weapons. I told Shane to convince her to let me have one but he…”
Ah… so the bastard was Shane. Eleanor let out a sigh, it was hard when the people you look up to brush you off, ignore you or downright make fun of you. Shane had protected Lori and Carl ever since Rick was missing, and even before that… Carl must have seen him like a gentle uncle. Eleanor wondered what would have happened for Shane to suddenly be like this… Did it have to do with the fact he was talking with Lori?
“Remember when I told you that Shane didn’t scold me? When I warned you that you may seem him angry or frustrated, and that you better give him some space and not think too much about it?” She began and Carl turned to look at her.
“You lied,”
“Op! I lied about my arm… but that was no lie. Sometimes, adults get so angry that they lash out and everybody; and the people that care about them are the ones that feel hurt the most,” She put a hand on his shoulder, “Shane must be frustrated because of Sophia, because of T-dog and even because of the fact we are losing time. Forget how he’s being and give him space; I bet he’ll fell all guilty later,” she tried to joke, but the child only nodded, still feeling depressed.
Eleanor wasn’t sure why, but she was not satisfied
She pulled out her bowie, that was still a little dirty from before, and proceeded to clean in. Eleanor spared a look at the child and smiled when she noticed that he couldn’t take his eyes out of it.
“You know why your mom wanted me to be away from you… I know you also heard that,” she began. That caught Carl’s attention better than anything, he wide eyed, “She thinks you shouldn’t learn this kind of stuff yet… that you are too young, and that it’s important you try to have as normal of a childhood as you can. I can’t completely be against her outlook, but once you are not too young to handle it… I’ll keep insisting that you learn,”
“I want to learn,”
Eleanor resisted a smile, and lifted the blade… playing with it. “That’s good. All things that need to be learned must have a prize at the end… So how about, when you are old enough, when we finally get permission from your mom and dad for me to teach you, and you become a badass at blades… I give you this one as a present;”
She was met with silence, but she could see how… slowly, Carl’s face illuminated. He looked at the blade and then back at her in suspicion and disbelieve. Eleanor grinned
“I’m being serious!” she said and extended her pinky.
Faster than lightning, Carl hooked it with his own; and moved it profusely. Eleanor laughed, and Carl grinned, his cheeks a little rose and his expression something akin to happiness.
“That’s the face I wanted to see,” she said putting her blade away.
“What do we do now?” he asked, and turned to look at the forgotten corpse “You were dragging that thing away from the RV,”
“Yeah! I have to do that. You can help me if you want; I’m going to guard these inside first okay?” she said and climbed the steps.
It was getting late.
Eleanor looked at the horizon, almost with sunset… Rick and Daryl reappeared on the highway… and without Sophia. Carol looked at them terrified, and almost broke down in tears when Rick announced that they would wait to look for Sophia in the morning once more. Eleanor was not okay with that either, but she understood the man’s logic. It was near impossible to look on the woods at night, and only them. They needed flashlight that could not be spared, people that they didn’t have, and dogs that also didn’t have. Moreover, they could get attacked by walkers.
“She’s twelve, she can’t be out there on her own!” Carol pleaded. “You didn’t find anything?”
“I know this is hard, but I’m asking you not to panic,” began Rick “We know she was out there-“
“We tracked her for a mile” added Daryl
“We have to make this an organized effort. Tomorrow morning, we are making searching parties. Daryl knows the woods better than anybody and Eleanor was a huntress before, right?” Rick asked turning to her and she nodded, “they will be in charge,”
Not again. Eleanor closed her eyes with finality. She prayed not to be the center of attention, but it was too late. Carol turned to look at her and the desperate expression soon turned into deject and anger.
“How could you just… leave her out there to begin with?”
“I…. I didn’t,” Eleanor stuttered, but didn’t know what to say, “I’m sorry, she got scared… a-and I couldn’t stop her, I…. I did everything I could,”
“And nobody is saying otherwise,” Shane walked over resting a hand on her shoulder.
“How is she supposed to find her way back on her own! .... she’s just a little girl!”
The mother cried again, and Lori hugged her from behind. She spared a look at Eleanor and Shane, before making her return to the car they were in. Eleanor twisted her fingers, an old habit when she was to stressed, and sniffed. She wasn’t sure how to feel. Her blood boiled, because she did everything she could to protect them, and they were still blaming her for Sophia’s disappearance… but she was guilty, she was the only adult that was with her at that moment, it was her responsibility. What if Sophia appeared dead? What if she never appeared?
“You are not going with them?”
She turned to look at Shane, it was night already, the sun had hidden completely, and he turned on his flashlight.
“I doubt that Carol want’s me anywhere near her, and I can’t blame her,” she said with a sigh. “I’m going to find whatever car, and sleep inside,”
“I fixed a Hyundai, it will be cold later and I’m already using the AC,” he said and turned to leave, not giving Eleanor a chance to refuse or to thank him. She followed.
“What really happened out there?”
“What I said happened,” she answered right back. “Two walkers were after Sophia, I tackled the first one against a tree; but in the struggle the other was already looming over her. I grabbed it’s ankle the best I could and made him fall… we fought for a while; for me to reach his head and keep him at bay while the thing wanted to crawl forward. Sophia ran away before I could tell her not to. I don’t even know the exact moment she bolted… I was so focused on keeping the walker still that I….”
Little by little, and as Eleanor explained what happened, she lost her cool, her breathing got agitated, and she fought the damp in her eyes with all her might.
“I tried to look for her but---“
“It’s alright, I’ve heard enough,” he said, opening the car he mentioned “Get inside,”
Eleanor blinked, and huffed. “You don’t believe me?” she said, almost angry.
“I do. It’s just, I didn’t found it possible for her to have ran that far… It’s a 12-year-old kid… for crying out loud!” he said, also angry… but Eleanor understood it was not directed at her. She calmed down, and rounded the vehicle to rest on the copilot seat.
“I was afraid she had fallen to the river bank or something,” she explained, Shane ignited the car and put the AC. The warm of the heater made her sigh, “No matter how much I called, she didn’t answer me,”
Shane didn’t answer to that. Instead, he moved to pull a lever beside Eleanor’s seat… and she felt like falling. She yelped and gasped, when her body moved backwards and she hit the seat. Snickers beside her made her turn to glare at the culprit.
“You dick,”
“It distracted you, didn’t it?” He said, moving to do the same but with more grace. He twisted then and pulled a quilt from the back seat… and a jacket.
“This place looks too organized,” she commented, thanking him for the clothing.
“… once we find Sophia, I’m splitting,”
She half stood on her seat. Why so sudden? Why was this happening?
“as in… you are leaving?”
“You can come with if you want,” he bended his arms to support his head, “I know you wanted to leave too… and now I understand why,”
But she didn’t understand why he wanted to leave. Had it to do with that conversation with Lori? Was there something that she avoided to think about… but was actually the truth?
“I promised Carl I would stay,”
“Me too. And here we are,” Shane said turning off the car and then giving her his back. Eleanor glared at it for a couple of minutes, before doing the same.
“I’ll think about it,” she conceded. Not because she intended to, but because she rather give him right now, and stay in the warm car until morning. “Good night,”
“Night,” she got as an answer, and she closed her eyes… waiting to fall asleep.
Next morning, almost at dawn, Rick gathered everyone to make search parties to look for Sophia. He praised Carl’s efforts of finding the blades, something that they were going to use as protection. Everyone took one unsure, while Eleanor looked at them from the side, given she was already well equipped.
“These aren’t the kind of weapons we need… what about the guns?” said Andrea. “You are carrying, why can’t we?”
“Well because they are cops, they are trained with guns… and don’t feel the need to use them like you,” Eleanor interjected, and Andrea stood defiant, “It’s not to make you angry. But think this trough… we don’t know if the heard from yesterday is still close or another one is coming, we could attract them to us with the noise,” Eleanor took a breath “Moreover, what if you are scared and fire at something you thought was a walker…but was Sophia instead,”
Andrea fell silent after that. Eleanor signaled to the blades “Blades are real weapons, they don’t make noise, and are close to contact, it’s our best chance to keep a low profile while in the woods. But you need to take something that is not too heavy, not loo light, half of the extension of your arm… to swing it without problems,”
“The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side. Chances are she’ll be by the creek, it’s her only landmark” said Daryl explained.
“Stay quiet, stay sharp. Keep space between you but always stay within sight of each other” said Rick “Dale, keep up those repairs we’ve got to get this RV ready to move” Dale nodded “would you keep an eye on Carl while we are back” he offered
“I’m going with you,” Carl stepped forward with a decisive tone, Rick looked at him “You need people right? To cover as much ground as possible,”
“He could reach small places that we can’t,” Eleanor added. Rick turned to his wife, at the same time Carl turned at her. She gave him a little wink.
Lori didn’t notice the exchange when she turned to look at her son, and then at her husband “Your call…. I can’t always be the bad guy” she answered, and Rick gave in, going to the palette of blades and taking exactly the custom pocket knife that Eleanor got out before. He kneeled in front of Carl and waved the blade in front of him.
“This is not a toy….” He said and Carl nodded “You’ll stay within our sight” he said looking at Eleanor, she nodded “No exceptions,” and finally gave him the blade.
She never thought she would say this before, but this was pointless.
Sat on the steps of a church, Eleanor grabbed her temples in exhaustion and stress. They had covered considerable ground in the morning, and found nothing. This was turning more and more impossible by the minute. How could Sophia had covered so much ground in so little time? Even if she was still travelling by night, which was unlikely, she wouldn’t have gotten that far.
That left only two options. She had either been taken away, or eaten by a walker.
“Are you really leaving?”
That was Lori. The others had entered the church for a moment, and Eleanor thought Lori did too. She knew who she was talking to, and wondered if she should give them space.
“Don’t you think it’s best for all of us?”
“I think it is,”
She wide eyed; Shane was leaving because she wanted to. Eleanor half rose from where she sat, she needed to move, she didn’t want to hear it.
“What made you decide?”
“Better back away. I’m just trying to be the good guy here Lori, even if you don’t see it. None of this was intended, I hope you know that,”
They started whispering, Eleanor could hear no more… but it didn’t matter, she didn’t want to. She rose and ran to the opposite side, almost at the end of the clearing where the church was, and took a breath. This was something she had no place knowing.
Something she suspected, but didn’t want to have confirmed.
It explained many things; the gazes, the discussions and sometimes… the disparities between him and Rick. She liked Rick, but in the end she couldn’t blame Shane. He took over his best friend’s family, at some point along the way, some feelings must have developed, the sudden appearance of Rick in the picture was less than welcomed; and now that there was another capable leader, one ended up feeling left out.
She didn’t want Shane to leave, but that only meant that they would have to tell Rick the truth. No, this was not her problem, she should not think about it.
“What are you doing here?”
“Jesus fucking Christ!” she screamed and jumped. The former sheriff smirked at her expression and cleaned his nose. “Grimes you scared the hell out of me!”
“You were that lost in thought? I called you from the distance,”
Had he met Shane and Lori outside? She turned, but tried to appear nonchalant.
“Yeah, I was… worry is killing me right now,”
“Hey…” he said and put a hand on her shoulder. Open worry appeared on his eyes and Eleanor felt a pang of guilt in her chest. “I know what you are thinking and what other people say. But this is not on you, you did everything you could,”
He was talking about Sophia. Eleanor let out a sigh, and put her hand above his, and looked to the horizon.
“I’m afraid to think the worst, because Sophia could have never reached so far out on her own,”
“If that were the case we should have found a body,”
“Maybe she fell down the river and drowned,” Eleanor answered back “If that were the case she would be in the old creek, far from here,”
“Once this search is over… you, me and Daryl, we’ll go to check there,” Rick said with a frown. “For now, let’s not lose hope just yet,”
“Okay,” she whispered back. The others began moving around and looking for shade.
“We’ve got to move it here man!”
“Fuc-dge! Fudging Fudge,” Eleanor said jumping again.
“What the hell is that?” asked Shane with a little huff.
“Me trying not to curse at you,” she spat with a glare, “What’s with you cops and scaring the hell out of people!”
“You are tired, that’s why didn’t hear me coming,” Shane corrected. Remembering the conversation, she just heard minutes ago, Eleanor looked the other way, “You’re spent, and you are not the only one,” He turned to Rick, “There’s only so many hours of daylight and we’ve still got a long way back,”
“I can’t go back yet,”
“There’s still a lot of ground to over from the other side of the stream and we could do that on our way back,”
“She could be close,” Rick said suddenly. Eleanor frowned…. Rick was not so stubborn when she talked with him. Still, she tried not to think too much into it.
“We were talking of going at the end of the stream, to the creek,” Eleanor explained, “She could have fallen down the river or around there and we are searching for a living person in vain,”
Shane looked at her, serious. Eleanor was serious too, and despite Rick saying that it was not certain that Sophia was dead, she had already started to think that way.
“Alright then,” Shane said and walked over to the rest that were gathering. “You gotta follow the creek bed back, Daryl will be on charge. Rick, Eleanor and I’ll search for another hour, just to be thorough,”
“You are splitting us up, you sure?” Daryl asked.
“You can look from that side on your way back, we’ll move further south, pick up the pace,” Eleanor assured. Daryl nodded.
“I want to stay too,” said Carl as he stepped up, “I’m her friend,”
Rick said nothing in opposition, nor did Shane. Lori relented, telling him to be careful, and this time around… Eleanor wanted to object. They might as well take too long and stay in the woods until night time.
A sudden feel of dread… filled her inside.