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Most days, Steve thinks it’s funny; so does T’Challa. They’re the only two people who could manage to break into The Raft, free a handful of people, and get out undetected. If SHIELD were smart, Steve thinks, they would be able to figure out who helped him -- he already knows that SHIELD has assumed he was involved. But who would consider T’Challa as his accomplice after everything that happened? Sam thinks it’s funny too, but only because he’s no longer sitting in a cell and is now far off the grid. But Wanda, Clint, and Scott don’t find it as funny. In front of Steve, they laugh and joke, but on their own, each is worried.
Clint is worried about Laura and the kids. All he can think about is the last time he saw them. “One last time, Laura. For Steve. Then I’m out. I’ll even get a desk job if you want.” He kissed them all and ran out the door, bow in hand.
Scott is worried about Cassie. Things had been so good before Sam had come knocking, asking for his help. Maggie was letting him see Cassie more, and he even got to take her to the zoo. Hell, even Paxton had warmed up to him and invited him out for a beer one night.
Wanda is just alone. A lot of the time she follows Clint around; she knows him best. He doesn’t mind. She’s sort of become his fourth child. She spends a lot of time outside, staring off into the sky, thinking about Pietro. Clint always finds her, hands her half of his sandwich, and sits with her. He thinks of Pietro often as well.
But there are also days where Steve wonders just how the hell he got himself into this mess. One day he confesses to Sam that they should have just signed the damn Accords and none of this would have happened. However, in typical Sam Wilson fashion, he reminds Steve that he isn’t the kind of guy who would ever jeopardize what he believes and what he stands for, that worse could happen with the Accords in effect. Sam’s words usually lift Steve’s spirits. When they don’t, Steve finds himself sitting outside Bucky’s cryo chamber.
Steve actually finds himself there a lot -- when he’s lonely, when he misses his best friend, when he’s nostalgic. At first, before anyone realized how often Steve was there, he would just stand there, staring at his friend. Then, one day, Steve walks in to find a chair waiting for him. He still has no idea who put it there, but he’s appreciative. Then he starts bringing a book, sometimes reading to himself, sometimes to Bucky -- books they both missed out on.
Then, on an exceptionally bad day, Steve finds a big, comfy chair next to Bucky. He slumps into it, feeling utterly defeated.
“I’m starting to think they’re never gonna get ya outta there, Buck.” He looks up at his friend and frowns. “I’m sorry. For everything -- for having to go back into cryo, for all the fighting, for not just letting you live in peace...heck...I’m even sorry for that time I stole that chewing gum from you when we were kids.” The memory makes Steve smile a small, sad smile and he sighs.
Steve thinks about everything they missed out on -- world events, movies, books, music. He hums a little, head resting on the back of the chair, eyes closed.
“Don’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for...you can’t tell me it’s not worth dyin’ for...you know it’s true...everything I do...I do it for you…” Reaching out, eyes still closed, head still back against the chair, Steve lays a gentle hand on the glass -- something he hadn’t ever done. And, somehow, it makes him feel even farther away from Bucky. “Take me as I am...take my life...I would give it all...I would sacrifice.”
It’s another month before the Wakandan scientists make any kind of progress with figuring out how to undo Bucky’s brainwashing and a month after that until they feel confident they can permanently undo what’s been done and feel comfortable bringing him out of cryo.
Steve paces outside of the room, practically wearing ruts into the floor. He’s not sure how much time has passed, but he knows it’s now at least early evening by where the sun shines in the window. He groans aloud and finally stops pacing, leaning against the wall.
“Nothing yet?”
Steve looks up and finds Sam walking up to him. He just shakes his head.
Sam squeezes his arm. “It’ll work out, man.”
“Captain Rogers?” A tall, commanding woman steps into the hallway from the door Steve’s been pacing by.
Steve looks up, hopeful.
“He’s awake. Why don’t you come in and see him.”
Steve feels as though the weight of the world’s been lifted from his shoulders, like he can finally breathe again. He looks to Sam, who nods, and then he’s following the doctor through the door and down a hallway.
“He’s just in here,” she says, stopping in front of a door halfway down the hall. “We’re confident we’ve been able to put things back the way they should be. I ask that you try not to bring up anything too upsetting, though.” She waits for Steve to nod in understanding. “He’s getting a few things together and then you can show him to his room.”
Steve takes a moment to steady himself before he turns the corner into the room.
“Hey, Buck.” He’s almost ashamed of the crack in his voice, but he’s far too glad to see his best friend awake to care.
“Hey.” Bucky smiles so much his eyes crinkle.
Small bag in hand, Bucky takes his first steps towards his second chance. He follows Steve down what seems like endless hallways. They’re so in their own little world that neither notices as they pass Sam and Scott. The former makes a jab about how they look like two awkward teenagers.
“So,” Steve says as Bucky sets down his bag on his new bed, “do you remember anything while you were in cryo? Any dreams?”
Bucky shrugs and shakes his head. “Not really. Last thing I remember is us talking before I went under.”
Steve doesn’t know why he was hoping that Bucky would somehow know he’d spent so much time with him. It’s silly, he thinks.
“You hungry?” Bucky asks, the growling of his stomach getting annoying.
“Uh, yeah. I could eat.”
Steve leads him to the kitchen and pulls out all the makings for a club sandwich. As Bucky starts constructing his lunch, he begins to hum. It doesn’t take long for Steve to peg the song and he almost loses it.
“What?” Bucky asks, one eyebrow raised.
Steve shakes his head. “Nothing, Buck. Just glad you’re back.”
“Always a sap, Stevie. Always a sap.”