Chapter Text
He sank back into the sofa with a sigh as he carefully balanced his cup of tea in one hand. Not that it would matter if it spilt; the sofa was made up of more stains than fabric pattern anyway. Harry smiled to himself with the small victory when he managed to place the mug on the floor – not even a slight spill onto the mug’s surface- success. With the mug now safe on the worn out beige carpet, Harry sank further back into the old sofa and tilted his head so it was almost reaching the top of the settee. Letting out another long sigh, Harry felt the exhaustion flow over him from the long week of work. Every fibre of muscle hurt as he stretched his feet out in front of him, balancing them on the make shift coffee table of a moving box, pushing several copies of Rolling Stone onto the floor. He would never have guessed that training to be a hairdresser would be such hard work. Harry had toured the world, dragged himself up for interviews at the crack of dawn but none of that seemed to compare to the constant mind numbing conversations he had to keep up with clients who really couldn’t care less about how he was feeling, but more about the fact that a once famous has been was asking them if the temperature of the water was okay.
Harry looked around the flat with weary eyes, taking mental notes of what he still needed to do even after moving in two months before. He loved his new studio flat, he really did but dragging himself to empty and sort the boxes of painful memories scattered round the room was all too much after a day of work. His mum had found the advertisement for the apartment online and was all to eager to show it to him after months of what she had called ‘wallowing’ in his old apartment. Not only was the old space obviously built for two, but he could barely afford the bills anymore without a singer’s salary. So much to his mum’s delight, he had agreed that the new place would be a good idea, not only because it was half the price but it meant he could escape the memories engraved in every nook and cranny of the old flat. He’d lived there for a year after his life fell apart, after the door was slammed in his face by not only the public but by the one person he loved the most. Even 5 years later, the months that followed still made his insides feel icy cold. Breaking up with someone is hard enough but becoming tabloid fodder made it even worse. There was not a day that would go by, where he would not wake up to another angry headline blaming him for the disintegration of his relationship and the band as well. What the press didn’t know was that he agreed with every single cutting word they printed. He’d messed up everything he’d ever wanted in a series of stupid, stupid mistakes.
Looking back he knows he can’t blame the break- up of the band solely on himself. It had been coming for a while. Five years of non-stop hard work and cracks had begun to show in the once unbreakable force. They had spent too much time together with little sleep and no breaks. As the years went by, comments that once would have been taken as general banter became meaningful digs that led to awkward interviews. That’s not to say they didn’t have fun. They all loved what they were doing and no matter what, they really did all love each other. But there a came a point when they decided that enough was enough-they needed a break. Sometime to rediscover who they were, relish time with family and enjoy their relationships before they all resented each other. It was an amicable decision, a hiatus would be perfect- with time alone they could come back together and bring the fans bigger and better music. But that hiatus became permanent. All down to one badly timed web article. Harry could blame the writer but it really was all his doing messing up his relationship with Louis.
Harry shook his head tearing his thoughts away from the past. He couldn’t do that anymore, he couldn’t keep looking back and wondering what might have been. He had a new life now and was beginning to make some real new friendships. Friendships he had little choice in making unless he wanted to live life alone as a 24 year old man, only getting calls from his family to make sure he was fine and telling him it really was ok if he wanted to move back home.
If he had one regret it was that he hadn’t managed to stay in any form of contact with the boys. He expected to lose contact with Louis after what he had done, but the lack of communication between himself, Niall, Liam and Zayn had come as another blow to the chest. Unsurprisingly they had all taken Louis’ side when the relationship crumbled, but not once did he expect that they would stop talking to him all together. At the beginning, he’d left them all long voice mails, sent apologetic emails and texts but he had heard nothing back. After a while he just gave up, they obviously wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Now the only way he kept up with what they were doing was through celebrity gossip pages. Liam had gone on to become the multi-platinum solo artist that he always had the potential to be. His songs were hits all around the world and Harry always smiled to himself when one came on in the salon, shamelessly humming along to Liam’s deep voice. Zayn had shaken up the model industry becoming a firm catwalk and print favourite. Every once in a while Harry would pass his face on a billboard on the way to work. If it was possible he had become prettier with age, his magnified deep brown eyes and cheek bones staring down at a much smaller sized Harry. From what Harry could gather, his little Nialler had become a song writing mega star. It filled him with warmth whenever he saw N.Horan in the transcript of an album. Niall had always under sold himself on his musical ability but to see him pictured in magazines, receiving awards for his songs made Harry happy for the care-free Irish boy as who was finally getting worthwhile recognition.
Louis had become everything he ever wanted and more. He became the nation’s sweetheart- receiving sympathy from every possible outlook. With the nation now fully on his side, Louis had made himself a new man. Every Saturday night, Harry would watch his chat show that was so very Louis it almost hurt. The interviews were always laugh out loud hilarious but they were always sincere and kind with Louis showing genuine care for each person on the show. Not only was he now presenting, but he had fulfilled his dream of acting, staring in films with A-list actors , making a name for himself in households around the world. Although he would never admit it to anyone, he always went to see his films on the first night they were out at the cinema even sometimes when he was the only guy watching a girly rom-com. He swelled with pride whenever he came on screen, but the pride was always quickly replaced by guilt. As a result, every one of these cinema visits ended with Harry back in his flat shamelessly digging into a bowl of ice cream and dodging calls from his sister, who had somehow learnt of his cinema visiting habits.
And himself- he was a no one. He corrected himself- he wasn’t officially a no one. He was the guy that everyone had turned against when it all went wrong. He was the passing joke still made in the tabloids today. Harry was the boy who had everything in his grasp and let it all go. He wasn’t Harry Styles any more- the famous singer and boyfriend but Harry – the new trainee hairdresser who couldn’t always remember whether people had wanted a coffee or tea whilst they were getting their hair done and the topic of concern at family events.
Harry shuffled around on his seat realising the uncomfortable thing digging into his leg was the tv remote and reached underneath himself to dig it out. He twirled it round in his hands deciding whether he could be bothered to go and make himself some dinner or if he should turn on the tv and enjoy some episodes of ‘Come Dine With Me’ whilst ordering some take out. The decision did not take long, as a mere few seconds later the television in front of him buzzed into life and he was mentally weighing up the pros and cons of either Chinese or pizza. Maybe it was a result of the intense mental debate on which option would be cheaper, that he wasn’t taking much notice of the channel he had turned onto, but Harry’s attention was soon quickly grabbed by the booming overvoice of the advert playing.
“An interview you will not want to miss. Secrets will be revealed. The past uncovered. All your burning questions finally answered. Louis Tomlinson’s Life Story on after the break.”
Harry’s breath caught in his throat