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The closer they came to the city, the more nervous she became. They had been in the mountains for some time, and she was looking forward to seeing the castle of Whitestone rise out of them.
“JB, snap to, we’re nearly there. Pop is already in character. Don’t ruin this for us,” Johan growled back in her direction.
JB snapped her book closed, fingers lightly brushing across the cover. She’d been rereading it, about Vox Machina and their defeat of the dragons. They’d saved the world, Pike’s new family. The family she’d picked, leaving them behind. Leaving her behind.
“Hey, nerd. You’re ready, aren’t you? You’re a Trickfoot. You’re one of us,” Johan pinched the outside of her thigh, just below her hip.
“Ow! Stop,” she hit him with the flat of her book on the arm and scooted farther from him in the wagon. “I’m- I’m a Trickfoot. It’s fine. We’re family.” She attempted a weak sort of smile but she meant her words. For all that she may not get along with her brother, didn’t agree with her father and didn’t understand her sister-in-law, she was a Trickfoot and Trickfoots didn’t abandon one another.
--
Once the truth was out, JB didn’t know what to do around any of the people of Whitestone let alone the members of Vox Machina. She didn’t know what to be if she wasn’t a Trickfoot. She could at least pretend to be happy in the library; Vex’s and the one in the castle.
“JB?”
She couldn’t help flinching just slightly when she heard her name. She expected something snide to go with it, words that bruised more than pinches on the leg ever could. After what her family had done, what her family had tried to do, she had certainly earned it. JB turned slowly to look up at the giant shape of Grog looking down at her with a little bit of a frown. To hide her nervousness, she smoothed her hair.
“Hi Grog.”
Grog crouched down but even hunkered down closer to JB he was still taller than her. His face looked quite serious and JB’s mind raced to figure out if there was something else her father or brother had set into motion before they’d left. There wasn’t anything particular she could think of but maybe they hadn’t told her about it. Maybe they didn’t trust her with all their plans.
“I’m looking for something,” Grog said, rubbing at his beard with one hand.
Oh no oh no oh no. “I haven’t um, I don’t know if m-”
“Can you read?” Grog asked, still looking quite serious.
“O-oh. Um. Yes? Are you looking for something here in the library?” JB asked, chest fluttering with a confusing mixture of anxiety and the tiniest spark of hope.
“I had a bad dream and I wanted a book of stories,” Grog said. “Maybe something with pictures. Do you think they have those here?”
JB smiled, the expression unfamiliar but warm on her face. “Are you looking for a bedtime story?”
“Or something with pictures of ladies.” The goliath was perfectly serious as he said this and it made JB laugh. His face broke into a craggy smile at the sound of her laughter. “I wasn’t sure you could do that.”
“What, laugh?” JB asked, tucking a long strand of dark hair behind her ear. “Or find lady pictures for you in the library?”
“Laugh. But it’d be really nice if you could find pictures, too.”
“Did you really want a book of bedtime stories?” JB looked up at him and then turned her gaze to the whole of the library.
“I can’t read very well,” Grog followed her gaze and then looked down at her, getting to his feet.
“I could read to you, if you want,” she offered.
“Really?” Grog sounded surprised. “Only Pike ever wants to read to me and she’s always busy. Would you really?”
JB was charmed by the earnest excitement on Grog’s face and in his voice. She knew better than to really trust it even if she wanted to. Growing up in a family of con artists she knew better than to trust what anyone said. Anyone but family. She didn’t even have that anymore.
“Yeah. I really would.” She had so much she needed to do to deserve the forgiveness Pike had given her. “What do you want to read about?”
“Ducks and how to defeat them,” Grog said adamantly.
JB blinked. “Well maybe we can find a book about ducks?”
They spent several minutes looking for a book on ducks, a full ten of which was JB trying to make it clear there were no books with ducks and naked women in it. Finally JB and Grog settled on the Ugly Duckling because it had pictures and because JB couldn’t convince Grog it wasn’t actually about a duck. When they reached the end of the book, Grog was full engrossed in the story, even if it wasn’t about a duck or about lady favors.
“It’s sort of a book about you,” Grog said, snuggled into a big blanket and happily curled in the biggest chair in the library they could find.
“Because I’m not a duck either?” JB asked, closing the book and letting it rest on her lap. She was sitting on the arm of Grog’s chair, rather comfortable leaned against the back.
“Because you had a shitty duck family and now you’re a swan with us,” Grog said.
JB stared at him, chest tight again while she tried to figure out if he was playing her or not. He seemed so guileless. She was surprised to find tears on her face and tried to hide behind a sheet of dark hair.
“You can be a duck if you want,” Grog said, clearly confused why she was upset.
“No no. A, um, a swan is fine. I want to be a swan. I want to be part of this family,” JB said, hiding behind hands and hair.
“I had a bad family too,” Grog said, frowning and not sure what to do with her. “And it’s okay if you miss them, I miss the herd but this is better. And you’re Pike’s family so that makes you my family.”
She laughed through her tears but finally peered out from behind them at Grog. “I want to be a swan,” she said. “I’ll be your family if you want.”
Grog smiled, big and toothy and would have been terrifying only a few weeks ago. “Good. We’re real family then. And if you need someone, you can ask anyone in Vox Machina. But pick me because I’m the best.”