Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1 – Through Darkness and Shadows

It felt like he had been pulled of the Enterprise, atoms forcefully ripped apart, rearranged illogically while dropping off a moving vehicle.
…A thoughtless perception. His mind made up as his consciousness decided to grace him with its presence and he was able to open his eyes.

…Illogical.

It was the first thing his mind thought up when seeing a sky he knew gone greeted him.

Illogical was the fact he was on Vulcan in any way shape or form. Considering the planets abrupt destruction from a wayward future Romulan bent on destroying all his Elder-self held dear, (illogical that he should use such a phrase to reference something for himself, future aspects residing.)
Illogical was the fact that he was on ANY planet in and way shape or form when he was last on the Enterprise.
…With his Captain…
Jim!

Spock’s eyes would widen had he been fully human. Jim! Where was Jim! Great panic (illogical human emotion that it was. Spock was well aware he possessed human emotions. Did not mean he liked neither emitting nor being possessed by them) was being pushed onto his being at the thought of his friend. Did this happen to him, too? Or was he spared?

He sat up, and the world around him swayed as if he was not used to moving, automatically his hands reached forward to stabilize himself. That was when another bout of shock vented through his system. His hands and arms were small in size and length. Spock blinked in sparse minute his brain seemed to shut down. He looked down in search of his body. It too was smaller. It logically suggested his body had regressed in age.
Perhaps time travel.
Such a notion was not uncommon for him; seeing as he could (usually) if he wanted to com. his Elder-self on New Vulcan. He had not regressed in age. But it seemed the only option as to why he would be on Vulcan, and in a smaller body.

His mind shut down again. His thought process was hindering. He had been thinking on something before he digressed. Now, what was it?
His eyes absentmindedly searched around, taking in the surroundings, they were all of Vulcan.
…Except that of a humanoid body of a child not far from him.

Spock felt another sudden rush of singularity of fear go through him. At the thought the human might be hurt. He got up slowly, once he did and was in cooperating order with his smaller body, he walked over to the human; as it was a human he observed as he got closer. When he sank to his knees by the child he noticed the blonde hair, and that he looked rather output. He mentally shook his head. He knew that hair and face (albeit, a slightly…smaller…younger face), which was logical, having if he was brought here as a child, the only person with Spock at the time, that being his Captain would suffer the same changes to. However, Spock could not speak for Jim directly; was he in pain? Only way to find out would be to wake him.
…Through touch.

Spock mentally raised his shields as he normally did around Jim, because he knew sooner or later Jim was bound to come into contact with his person. Jim seemed to run on being a tactile person. It seemed illogical until Spock was not able to touch him.
He reached out; taking hold of the boys’ shoulder he shook gently, hopefully to gain a response.

The response was immediate, a flinch; a pained flinch away from contact. Spock immediately stopped and drew away. Jim was afraid of touch?
“Jim.” Spock announced. Gritting his teeth when he sounded…young. If Spock would hurt Jim through touch, something he vowed to never do again, he would wake him by other means.
“Jim! Wake up!” Spock said leaning towards the child as much as he dared.
Jim flinched and his eyes clenched, as if waiting for something. Spock waited, he knew Jim was awake, and sounded his name again.

Jim’s eyes opened, and Spock leaned back, slightly put off by how much fear was radiating from his friend. Jim looked around, his blue eyes settling on Spock.
However, they held no recognition.
“Jim?” Spock said again, slightly confused and vexed as to why Jim was looking at him like he didn’t know him.
Jim flinched. “How do you know my name?” Jim asked a little fearfully.
Spock blinked. “I am your friend.” He recounted, knowing very well he could pronounce the link between them without discredit. That was what it was, and he could not lie about it. He had introduced Jim (and vice versa) as his friend multiple of times after discovering the fact that was what they meant to each other.
Jim was looking around. “Where am I?” He asked sitting him; he hissed in pain, before looking to Spock in fear from showing pain and tried to still his reactions to it.
Spock was highly alarmed and concerned.
“You are on Vulcan.” Spock told him. Jim blinked in none-understanding. “…The planet Vulcan.” Spock alliterated further.
Jim’s eyes grew wide. “How did I get here? I was in Iowa!” The boy said fearfully, but looked to Spock; Spock could see a dim hope. “…You won’t take me back to Frank…will you?”
Spock blinked. “I do not know any Frank.”
Jim had never spoken about his childhood to him. Spock wouldn’t press as he was grateful the human left his alone.
“He is my step-father.” Jim muttered, not looking at Spock as he flinched again.
“You…are injured.” Spock announced, not knowing how Jim would take his seeing.
Jim flinched. “I was hiding.”
Spock felt himself frown. “May I query why?”
“I was hiding from Frank.”
Spock was able to add two and two together to make four. “He…abuses you?”
Jim flinched and looked to him fearfully. Without neither saying so, he remained quiet but flinched again as pain shunted through him again. Spock felt an urge to comfort Jim, as a fierce wave to protect his now child Captain, who likely now had some type of amnesia. Such a wave he couldn’t force away or gravitate around, as he had already known he was fiercely protective of his friend from when they came from.

“What of your mother?” Spock asked; if perhaps he could not be with his step-father he could be turned to his mother could Spock not convince the Vulcans to let him have Jim under his protection. It was very unlikely (not to mention illogical) for them to agree to let a (half) Vulcan child to care for a human injured child; not matter Spock’s protests on the matter.
“My mother is out in space, she can’t stand looking at me.” Jim muttered.
Fierce protectiveness tsunamied into Spock; neither parents wanted Jim! All that bravado he knew Jim possessed when he wanted to hide a half smile was covering this.
Spock mentally shook his head. Focus. His friend did not remember him. He could not be turned back to his parents. Jim was injured.
“I will endeavour to help you, Jim.” Spock announced.
Jim looked shocked, then smiled so brightly like the sun, as if suddenly all clouds had moved away to give clear to something so bright. It nearly knocked Spock for six.
“Thanks!” Jim said, and then blinked. “Oh yeah, you know my name, but I can’t remember yours.” Jim had concluded he couldn’t remember Spock, but nevertheless knew him. Spock felt an illogical surge of pride for the Human’s ability to feel when he could not rationalise.
“I am Spock.”
“Hi, Spock…!” Jim replied.
Then he fell unconscious.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2 – Humans and Vulcans

Spock would deny he made a very human-like yelp noise when he saw Jim’s consciousness leave him abruptly. Spock would deny his body surged forward to take hold of Jim to protect him from further damage.
Though, he could not deny that he may have said Jim’s name aloud.
Spock blinked down at the now human he held close to him (still denying). What could he do? He was no doctor! It would be illogical to put Jim down and go search for one (not that Spock would ever leave Jim like he was, not to mention alone). The only way to get Jim help was to carry said boy to it. Settling his one arm around Jim’s upper shoulders, under his neck more firmly, while the other under his knees; the tiny Vulcan lifted himself and the human easily up off the desert sands and looked around. Gently, of course, mindful that one wrong move could hurt the boy from his actions as well as put further aggravations from other injuries he had from ‘Frank’. Both sides of Spock came to the agreement that if he should ever meet this Frank, he might end up with a few bones broken (he had been proven he was capable of such a feat when previously he had been scoffed at).

Spock looked around again, if of course, this was Vulcan before Vulcan was destroyed, the only person who could possibly help was…
…His mother.
And, if of course, if this was Vulcan before Vulcan was destroyed, his mother would be alive in the very same direction he was looking in.
Spock’s mind shut down.
How would he explain finding Jim, and trying to place protection over him? All the while trying to keep a straight face from seeing his mother alive and well…? Spock shook his head and looked to Jim. He had to make sure Jim was well. If, logically…and…illogically, his mother opened the door to his once home…he’d…what was the word he heard Jim use, when he didn’t know what he was doing, ‘wing it’?
Indeed, he would try.
…Having neither ‘winged’ anything in his life.
Looking to Jim again, his thoughts settled and cleared, he at one point in his life was a little estranged at how looking at one person calmed him, until that person no longer moved.
Spock would make sure that situation never happened again.
With his determination and that to ‘wing’ the situation in his favour he set of towards his once home.

Amanda wasn’t quite sure what she was expecting when she answered the door, but she obviously wasn’t expecting to see her child with eyes looking so humanly worried and concerned.
“Spock!” She announced then looked passed the sudden emotions on his face, passed the sudden look at her as if she just up and decided to fall back into the planet’s atmosphere, to see he was holding someone.
Her eyes widened. “Who is that?” She asked calmly, knowing emotions would get her nowhere with Vulcans; not even with her own child no more.
Spock gently shifted the body so that Amanda could see its ears, her eyes widened dramatically.
“He requires help.” Spock said.
...Understatement of the century.

Amanda quickly ushered her son in, quickly absorbing the absurdness of what was happening in order to help.
“Did you find him?” Amanda asked.
Spock nodded, and gently shifted the boy again as he followed his mother.
“I woke him up when I found him to ascertain if he was injured. He seemed so, but would not answer where, how and when he was injured nor how he managed to get from Earth to Vulcan, he conversed; he told me his name is Jim. Upon asking about his parental figures he seemed to think I would take him to them and they would hurt him further.”

Spock watched as the simplicity of what he spoke conversed upon his mother’s face; her face hardened and her eyes got steely. This meant she was angry at the situation.
“He then lost consciousness, and I brought him here.” Spock continued while following his mother into the living rooms of the house. “Mother…”
Spock became silent as he watched his mother prepare the seats for Jim to lie on; he was not quite sure how to speak what he wanted in a way he would be allowed without telling her whence they came.
Amanda looked to him; his indecisiveness must have shown because she smiled.
“Put him down here, I’ll scan him, and you can tell me what you want to say in any way you can.”
Spock nodded as he went for the seat, his mother went for the healing wand, having gotten one for herself (and would evidently use on Spock a certain amount of time throughout his youth years).
“Mother…” He tried again as she kneeled down besides Jim and activated the wand.
“Go ahead, dear.”
Spock frowned. “I do not know how to convey…” He seemed frustrated with himself, but looking from Jim to Amanda, he seemed decided. “I want him under my protection.”
Amanda froze.
Spock froze.
The wand whizzed in its place.

Amanda slowly looked to Spock. This would be the first time Spock had been wanting to say something like that, Amanda knew it was certain Vulcan code for “I want this individual to be with me as a friend”, or, “I do not wish to lose this person.”, or even as the word suggested, “I want to protect this person from harm.”
“You want to protect him?” Amanda asked.
Spock nodded. “I do not wish to see him go back to figures in his life that would cause him further injury.” Spock answered. This ‘winging’ thing was hard.
Amanda looked uncertain. “I, too, would not like such an action to be placed. However, we have no power over his guardians. They come first before protection, Spock.” She said.
Amanda saw the fleeting emotions rush over her son, amazed he was showing such.
“I do not understand. He verbally accounted for not wanting to go back. He spoke of how he hid from them and how they did not want him.” Spock’s voice rose a little, an indication to Amanda, had Spock been fully human, he might have been angry, screaming in frustration, or just plain out-right confused in the justice system.
Amanda sighed. Much depended on what she did. And if she did wrong the repercussions to either party were great. This was Spock reaching out for the first time, and apparently that someone reached back. Her thoughts brought her back as her wand made a noise to indicate it had finished assessing. Spock near on flipped to see what it said, if he did not control himself.
“Query…?” He asked her as she was reading.
Spock became alarmed more when her expressions settled from the frown to deep concern and barely hid hatred.
“…Over extent bodily bruises…self-bone realignment…over extent bodily abrasions, open cuts and wounds…” Amanda muttered, forgetting Vulcan hearing.

Spock became frigid as she muttered. He never wanted Jim out of his sight! And nowhere near ‘Frank’! His fists curled in his body’s attempt to curl the flood of anger toward the cause. Hearing such a noise, Amanda quickly looked up to see her son’s distress and would have very much have liked to hug him.
“Most of which I can heal, Spock, but…” She taped her nose, which Spock frowned at. “…He’ll have to stay here until he is recovered.”
Amanda was amazed at the yet again surfacing flicker of emotion Spock showed at her admission, and nodded.
“Stay here for treatment?” Spock queried. “It would be illogical to move—” Spock stopped when his mother started giggling as she got off the floor. “I beg your pardon, mother, but I fail to see the humour.” Spock stated; he was still very concerned about Jim.
Amanda continued chuckling as she looked to Spock, and shook her head. “Never mind, dear, I’m having a human moment.”
Spock blinked. He was very much used to such comments for being why Amanda had bouts of laughter, or tears. Jim had explained to him recently that they saw humour in the way Spock said something because it was not the way they were used to hearing speech. And sometimes humans did things for no logical reason; other than they were governed by their loud emotions. Spock found it confusing.

Amanda had set all the open wounds, cut, abrasions and bruises on the boy’s body while Spock watched and waited for a response.
“I’ve done all I can, Spock, other injuries will take longer to heal.” Amanda said, putting her tools back where she got them from. “We’ll have to ask your father which room we can put him in, and set controls accordingly. It will make him more comfortable. At the mention of your father, I will also bring to his attention about what you told me he said about his parental figures, and of course, your protection. We’ll see what he says, alright?” Amanda spoke, watching as Spock had moved to Jim’s side, looking to her as she spoke, and saw his expressions falter when his father was mentioned; it was like watching someone realise they knew they were losing an already doomed battle.
“Hey, hey…” Amanda started, seeing the expressions filter pass. “I’ll venture on your behalf. It will be well, Spock.”
“…He will be sent back…” Spock said in a low voice, the settled by his friend. “It is illogical for me to wish for him to be awake presently.” Spock continued in the same small voice, as if he had forgotten he could be heard.
Amanda stood alarmed at the confession, at how deeply Spock felt on this.

This ‘winging’ thing was not working. No matter how he tried, Jim would be sent away, back to Earth, back to the figures that hurt him so…And away from him. He could not understand such logic. Logic dictates that all children have a safe environment; removed from bad. Spock was willing to provide protection for Jim. Therein concluded Spock could care for Jim, until such a time the boy no longer needed it, or his memory returned. (Neither possibility warranted Spock’s removal from the boy’s life, if Spock had his way) The thought slammed into him that at present; he was a mere child and held no voice over his father’s actions. He would need to rely on his mother speaking for him. He already had a compromise; Jim had to stay until he was well enough. Spock had not spoken he knew where Jim lived; it was most likely Jim would not reveal such information lightly. He had Jim on his side, as well as his mother’s.
…Against his father.
The odds didn’t look good.
After all, two and a half out of four were Human.

Spock illogically flinched when he heard the front door open. Amanda smiled at him softly then went to greet her husband while Spock stayed with Jim, watching for movements in both his friend and the out of the way family he couldn’t hear conversing no matter how much he strained his ears to hear them. Spock knew he could show no emotion for his venture to his father, fleetingly feeling whatever emotion was caused then tucking it away was generally not thought of during these days. Certainly after Vulcan, after his mother and most certainly after nearly losing Jim had made him see that with his Human half, he needed to feel something at the time, less they all come thundering out dangerously; which was what happened with Jim. He knew with Jim and the crew of the Enterprise he was allowed such grievances. But here, on Vulcan before Vulcan was destroyed, his way of dealing with emotions, dealing with expression…dealing with Jim, from here on out would need to be metric and concise. In public and within the company of Vulcans, that is.

Spock stood fully and to attention when his father entered, he quelled the urge to protect the child behind him further. He watched Spock briefly until Amanda came in, still looking upset and the entire situation.
“Spock,” his father started, Spock nodded to tell him he had his attention, (who else would at the moment?) “…Jim…will stay here until he is recovered, you can protect him until his figures are found and questioned.” He stated.
Spock blinked. Maybe this ‘winging’ thing did some good?
Amanda blinked then dashed to get her PADD. Both males looked to her questionably.
“If either of his parents are looking for him, they would file a report with the Federation, in the…unlikely…event the child is taken of his home world.” Amanda explained not looking up to them and continued pressing and sliding when due. Spock had the urge to tell his mother she was most likely, what was the Terran idiom, ‘wasting one’s time’?
Amanda sighed and held up her PADD; she had found no matches.
No one was looking for Jim.
Spock found himself crushing his growl at the thought that Jim thinking no one wanted him.
…Because it was precisely the opposite.

Spock snuck a quick look at Jim and yet again felt the haze of difficult thoughts became less defined in his mind. He then looked to his parents. Amanda looked highly upset, while his father sported a frown Spock knew was from the result the conversation had on him; he was deeply conflicted. This frown normally showed when he was dealing with Spock and really didn’t know what to say in comfort. Though, Spock watched silently as apparently the same process of looking to Amanda appeased Sarek’s thoughts. It seemed it wasn’t just him.

“Have you decided which room he will take?” Spock asked. The house only had three rooms, one for each as per Vulcan custom, (though his mother rarely slept alone. Appearance was best kept when other Vulcans decided a spontaneous visit to see how the only human floundered).
His parents looked to each other, worry clearly written all over Amanda’s face. Spock would not let Jim stay on then seats where any Vulcan could see and challenge.
“He can stay with me.” Spock announced, making both heads snap to him. “It is only logical, he is under my protection.”
Both parents blinked.
“Humans need a great deal lower in temperature controls, Spock. Your room will be cold, for you.” Amanda reminded unnecessarily.
Spock knew this. But looking to Jim who was looking like he was failing to swim, he looked back to his parents. “I will endure.” He told them.
“If you say so…” Amanda conceded, possibly thinking he wouldn’t last.
Spock watched as his father nodded. Therein gently picking Jim up and walked up to his room, parents following behind silently. He didn’t see their cross looks of amazement (shown only on Amanda) when Spock knew what degree to put his room at that would accommodate Jim.

Spock knew from experience Jim had changed his temperature controls every time before Spock came into his rooms on the Enterprise in a bid to welcome him, and not see Spock start to shiver. After a while it was Spock who could not stand to see Jim flounder in the heat and asked the controls to be turned down slightly, more each day. Spock would endure; he could always put more thermals on. Jim could only take off so many clothes before he became indecent. Spock would not allow that at all.
Spock placed Jim on his bed. He knew he wouldn’t sleep the night, as he was too conflicted by Jim to do much good asleep. Spock turned to his parents, and Amanda stepped forward and leaned down to him.
“Will you be alright?” She asked.
Spock nodded. He wasn’t cold, and Jim had stopped sweating badly and looked calmer as he slept. “If you would permit me to get a washcloth, I will be back momentarily.” Spock stated. He knew Jim, and he knew Humans. Amanda nodded silently as she stood back and, both parents let Spock through the door.

Spock hurried into the washroom to open a draw he knew from memory his mother kept the washcloths, he took one, and making sure the water was as cold as it was going to get, he drenched the cloth then wrung it out, only to hurry back to his room. He knew that both parents would watch stoically. But, he had to take care of Jim. Putting up his shields again, he washed away the strains of perspiration, once so, placing out together his third and fourth finger at Jim’s neck to count his hearts beats to his breathing. It was slow, but Jim was asleep, and he was a child. He brought his fingers away and left the cloth over his forehead quietly, he still felt inhumanly hot. Spock was undecided whether to lower controls more or wait it out to see if his body adjusted first.
“I…will go prepare our nights meal…” Spock heard his mother say faintly as well as her footsteps leading towards the kitchen.
“Is he well, Spock?” His father queried, wanting to know what Spock did to know. Spock frowned at the subtle challenge.
“His temperature is still high; I cannot ascertain whether or not it is from his body having yet adjusted, or whether the controls need to be turned down more. I will give time before concluding a decision.” Spock reported.
Sarek nodded, and he too, left.

As soon as all the ‘adult’s’ left, Spock let out a sigh, and his body visibly slumped, as if finally letting go of bent-up stress. He sat down nearest to the bed, and kept his eyes on Jim, just in case he should wake, he would be the first to find out.
Jim did not wake, but his body adjusted to the temperature without Spock changing it.
Amanda was the one who came searching for him, knocking on the door before she entered. Spock looked to greet her, still having trouble believing she was there.
There was no such thing as miracles.
…Unless Jim Kirk was involved. Then Spock was inclined to believe his friend could do anything, a simple memory loss paled in comparison to surviving death.
Spock held the belief that his friend would regain his memories, time would tell only when.
“Dinner is ready.” Amanda announced.
Spock didn’t want to budge.
He blinked when Amanda smiled. “Don’t worry, I have already eaten, I will look after Jim while you eat.” She continued to say. “Anything I need to know?” She asked, putting faith in her son to take care of those he protected.
Spock nodded. “He has acclimatised to the temperature controls, however, I could not reach the medical tools, if you would take no trouble in making sure his internal make up is also acclimatised as well, I will be thankful.” Spock reported.
Amanda blinked, but looked to where she kept the medical wand in Spock’s room, she had yet used it, and had no idea how Spock knew it was there, as it was placed without his presence. It was out of his reach for good reason.
Spock slowly rose from his position. “Has Father eaten?” He asked.
Amanda came over to kneel on the bed, but looked to Spock, and nodded. “He has.”
Spock nodded and left the room, knowing his mother had activated the wand, and would hopefully tell him the nature of Jim’s condition.

Spock efficiently made sure he ate, bathed and clothed ready for the night cycle so he wouldn’t be bothered changing hands again. It went against his logic; it was his job to take care of Jim, not his mother’s.
He walked back into his room to see Jim and his mother unmoved, though the wand had been put back.
“Query…?” Spock asked.
Amanda looked to him. “He is fine. His body is exhausted, it is why he sleeps.” She told him.
Spock nodded and walked over to her.
“How many hours of rest must he accumulate to function properly on a daily basis?” Spock asked. He vaguely knew that Human children slept more than their adult counterparts who needed at least eight good Standard Earth hours of rest.
“From anywhere around ten to fourteen hours, depending of age….” Amanda said.
Spock blinked, it would seem while here Jim would spend most of the time asleep.
“He is about the same age as you, he needs as least a good ten Standard Earth hours of rest; medical sleep notwithstanding.”
Spock blinked, McCoy made more sense now, for every time he told Jim to rest after being medically asleep. Spock nodded to show his understanding.

“Your father would like me to remind you that you are required to attend your academic studies tomorrow, regardless of your protection of Jim.” Amanda advised.
Spock blinked, but didn’t let any emotions show. He had quite forgotten the studies he had already completed. How could he protect Jim when he wasn’t near?
“I will endeavour to look after him while you are away, Spock, don’t disregard me as not capable.” Amanda reminded him. Naturally, she was not; having raised Spock.
But Jim was under his protection, not hers. It didn’t set well with him: Not at all.
“What if he wakes up, when I am not here, mother? He will not know who you are.” Spock said, frowning. He didn’t want to compromise on this, he knew the studies; he didn’t know when Jim would be taken away, when he would see his friend again. And if he would be able to…cope…with not seeing him until such a time they were both at the academy again. He wasn’t sure what…horrors…Jim would see during that timeframe.
“If he wakes up, I shall notify you, but you must continue your lessons, I will let you communicate with him on your break, if he is awake, but that will be all.” Amanda said. They both knew she was treading a fine line. And Spock knew neither were what Human’s called a ‘tightrope walker’. Amanda and Sarek would be in trouble if Spock didn’t comply.

Spock mentally sighed. “Thank you for the bid.” He said.
Amanda smiled and got up. “Now, I need sleep as much as you need meditation. Do try and get some respite, Jim will probably be loud enough, or tactile enough to get you to notice his waking.”
Spock nodded, and she left him sitting on the floor; she had left the light on, knowing Spock would turn it off himself.

Spock remembered the first time Jim had wandered into his rooms only to find him meditating. Jim hadn’t known whether he could speak or touch, so he froze in not knowing what to do, having a little ‘freak-out moment’ he later called it. His friend with memory knew he could call out to Spock, and Spock would answer if he could stay or not, and how long he would be.
This Jim…this Jim was different. He was not sure how he would react to him meditating. Though he did need it, so he only went into the first stages, making sure to catch every breath from Jim; and every movement he made.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter 4 – Communication Skills I & A Black Box

Spock turned to face Jim. Jim felt himself freeze; he was a lot younger.
“Are you well, Jim?” Spock asked.
Jim blinked, why was he talking to him like that?
Recent memories poured back.
Aw crap!
Spock knew about Frank and Winona!
But…did he know they weren’t meant to be children? Did he have his memories, or were they erased?
Jim nodded. “Who were they?” He asked, he needed to play along as if he didn’t have his memories, to see if Spock had his or not (not only would it get him and more importantly, Spock into trouble it would also make Spock think him weird).
“That was Stonn and his company.” Spock told him.
Jim frowned. “Why was he being mean? You’re not mean to me.”
Spock flinched. “He is full Vulcan, and doesn’t take kindly to anyone less.”
Jim blinked, having dealt with Spock for so long, he understood what he didn’t say; Stonn doesn’t like Spock, either.
“…You’re cooler.” Jim muttered truthfully.
Spock blinked. “Thank you. Shall we go home?”
Jim nodded.

Holy crap! Spock’s mother! She’s alive!
They definitely weren’t on New Vulcan! How the hell did THIS happen?! Jim REALLY wished he was able to talk to Spock about it.
For all Jim knew, Spock didn’t remember and he would think Jim crazy.
But he had to try; but when…?
…Obviously not when Amanda or Sarek could hear.
So that meant bedtime.
Jim could live with that. He just had to set the stage by falling asleep: Which definitely wasn’t hard.
…Nightmare time.
Spock had always woken him from nightmares, even on the Enterprise. Jim wasn’t quite sure how the Vulcan knew when he was having a nightmare, but he always did. Since coming to Vulcan as children, Spock had been way more tactile, something Jim totally didn’t mind at all.

Jim woke to Spock shaking him awake. Tears he couldn’t hold in, streamed down his face, seeing them, Spock hugged him.
“Spock…” Jim started, now or never.
“Yes, Jim?” Spock replied.
“How did we end up on Vulcan?” Jim asked.
The use of we had Spock pulling back, and Jim trying not to pout unsuccessfully; (which Spock saw).
“…Captain…?” Spock tried.
Jim lit up. “Oh, you remember to? Awesome, so you don’t think I’m weird now.”
Spock blinked. “I have sustained my memories since we got here.” Jim flinched, “Jim…?”
“Sorry that you know about Frank.” Jim muttered.
Spock shook his head. “I will find it hard not to hurt him, shall I ever meet him.”
Jim laughed quietly, and then sobered.
“What’s the star-date, Spock?” Jim asked.
“2245—” Spock stalled when he saw the flinch Jim gave out at the mention.

“I gotta go back.” Jim said quietly.
This alarmed Spock greatly. “You do not have to.”
“I never told you how I got of Earth around this age, did I?” Jim asked.
Spock frowned, but shook his head; he hadn’t even known Jim had left Earth before being ‘drafted’ by McCoy onto the Enterprise.
“…Drove my dad’s car off a canyon.” Jim started, Spock grew silent. “…Got shipped out to my mother’s family; they lived on Tarsus IV.”
Spock immediately took hold of Jim’s shoulders in what looked like a flash of terror. “You were there?”
Jim nodded; he knew what Spock was referring to. “I was one of Nine who knows Kodos’ face. I’ll be able to send a message to Starfleet before things get bad, and we won’t have a famine; no people massacred.” Jim tried.
Spock’s grip tightened. “…I do not wish for you to leave…”
Jim smiled. “You know where I’ll be in ten years’ time, Spock.”
Jim wasn’t expecting Spock to be the one to initiate a hug.
“I do not wish to not hear from you for ten years, Jim.”
Jim swung his arms around his friend tightly.
“We may have to, Spock.” Jim replied. “It’ll hopefully give us enough time to think about how we can stop Nero.”
Spock held tighter. “You wish for us to change the timeline?”
Jim returned the hold. “Has already been changed by Nero jumping in front of the Kelvin.”
“How…?” Spock questioned.
Jim sighed. “We’ll have ten years to figure something out.” He said, leaning away to look at Spock.
Spock looked unhappy. “If we cannot see each other for ten years, we can at least still digitally communicate.” Spock said.
“Oh yeah…? Do you have a set of communicating devices like that? I’m sure they’re not built with that long range capacity for civilian use yet.” Jim recounted with a pout.

Jim watched as Spock got up to go over to his desk only to pull something out of its draw; and come back to Jim and give him one of two matching digital communicators.
Jim looked astounded. “When did you do this?”
Spock sat down in his bed. “While you were resting; it has been present on my mind that there was a chance you might leave if your parents could be found. Presently it can only give out and receive written messages, but shouldn’t lag too much in receiving messages from either Earth or Tarsus.” Spock said.
“…You’ll let me go to Tarsus?” Jim asked with a blink.
“Preferably not, but you will go anyway to save all you can.” Spock recounted.
Jim grinned. “At least we have a way of communicating over the years, I may not be able to communicate when I’m on Tarsus, but I’ll tell you before I leave, and when I get back. Agreeable…?” Jim asked.
Spock let out a puff of air. “It will have to be.”
“Now all we gotta do is to get me back to Iowa.” Jim said.

It was the morning after that Amanda’s PADD chimed while Jim and Spock were having breakfast, (Jim and Spock had been very careful to replicate the same behaviours around Amanda and Sarek, so they wouldn’t notice a change in Jim).
Amanda looked to her PADD, then to Jim, then back to her PADD, with a frown.
…While Jim looked to Spock obliviously.
“Jim…” Amanda started cautiously.
Jim blinked. “Yes, Amanda?” He asked in a small voice.
“Do you live in Iowa?” Amanda asked.
Jim flinched. “How’d you know?” He blurted out in shock.
Amanda cautiously gave her PADD to him. It said his full name (James “Jim”, T. Kirk), age, address and stating he should come home; a message written by his mother, as well as a picture of him.
“Mum’s home from space?” Jim asked.
Spock had already stood and came over to read as well.
“What do we do?” Spock asked, looking to his mother’s distraught face.
Jim looked alarmed. “I don’t want you guys to get involved too! Can’t you just send me back, they won’t know any better!” Jim said in panic.
Amanda quickly looked from each of her children. One looked amicably fearful, the other….showing no emotion at all.
“I don’t want to get you guys in trouble…I don’t even know what they’ll do if they find out I got here somehow…” Jim muttered.
Amanda looked distraught. “…I’ll ask Sarek…” She said faintly, not liking the idea of just dropping Jim off to fend for himself. “…In the meantime, Spock, you need to go to school. Your instructor told me what happened with Stonn.” Both boys flinched, “so, Jim’ll stay here. Agreeable…?”
Both boys nodded unhappily.

It was decided that Jim would be sent back to Iowa alone, much to Amanda’s and Spock’s disagreement with Sarek’s, we cannot interfere if the boy does not wish it, logic.
Amanda stormed out on her husband. Spock would have walked as well, had Jim not told him he never saw Frank again, and rarely ever saw his mother.

Spock heard his communicator chime softly days after Jim had left:
rec 2245.102 Gotta drive a car over the canyon now. I’ll tell you when I get back.
Jim’s response had said.
rep 2245.102 I wish you safety.
Spock replied.

He then looked around his room. He needed a way to be able to get Jim out of harm’s way, should the endeavour, ‘go south’.
Spock stood up and gathered the pieces he would need.
He knew from the reading of documents on Tarsus IV, that it would be three months from now would start the famine.
It seemed only logical should Spock not hear from Jim in that time that Spock go and retrieve his friend from harm.
So, he set out to work.

It was coming up to the end of three months; Spock would give Jim one more day before trying to go after him.
His communicator chimed and Spock made a grasp for it to read its message:
rec 2246.11 Damn Kodos. When he heard Starfleet was coming he accelerated his plan! More or less the same amount of people died!
Came Jim’s heated message.
rep 2246.11 Are you well?
Spock asked in reply.
rec 2246.11 Yeah, I will be. Gonna get bored waiting to join Starfleet at the appropriate time. Do you think we should meet up on the grounds, or leave it for the Maru Test hearing?
Spock blinked in rising confusion.
rep 2246.11 Are you going to change the conditions of my test again?
rec 2246.11 Ha-ha. I’m trying to keep it as normal as it was. It was because of the hearing we were deployed so fast.
Jim’s reply was fast.
rep 2246.11 Then it would be logical to play our parts as well, so no one will be suspicious of our already involvement.
rec 2246.11 If you’re sure…Hey, you figured out a way to stop Nero?
Spock looked to his home-made black box device, that Spock was sure was at least half finished now that he had time to spare.
rep 2246.11 I believe I am ‘getting there’.
rec 2246.11 Okay, okay. I gotta go now. Cya, Spock!
rep 2246.11 Fare thee well, Jim.
.

.
Neither communicator chimed in the years to follow. Spock kept up with the studies he had already studied and keeping out of dodge of Stonn; while Jim kept to himself and out of the Federation Police department as well as with anyone’s pants, only getting his aptitude tests done so that Pike would notice them.

Once Spock found his way to Earth he did not search for either Uhura or Jim. His and Uhura’s relationship ended up going back to friendship, and he did not wish to cloud her, nor get into a debate (it would be illogical to promise something that could not become true); while not searching for Jim for obvious reasons.

Spock could barely contain his amusement at Jim’s first message in years:
rec 2255.11 I just re-met Uhura!
rep 2255.11 Did you also get into a fight with Mr Giotto?
rec 2255.11 Yeah, only did it to get to talk to Pike to get the ball rolling.

It was barely a day later when Spock’s communicator chimed again:
rec 2255.12 I met Bones! And he threw up on me!
This time Spock couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at his friends’ antics.

rec 2258.39 We have to time this right, can you be sure to get the same hearing time as last time?
Jim’s first reply in three years was.
rep 2258.39 Indeed. I see you did not do anything further then what you did the first time, Jim.
Spock replied, he knew very well of Jim’s advancement in that area.
rec 2258.39 It’s simple enough to get a hearing at the right time, Spock.

(“I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly.” Jim had recited,) standing at the podium, facing for the ‘first’ time, Spock could see how anxious Jim was, he could only hope Jim saw how reluctant he was about repeating his harsh words. He had just now remembered Jim did not know about his newest home-made device.
The hearing was stalled as the distress call came from Vulcan split them all up. Spock started to increasingly worry if Jim would be able to make it onto the Enterprise this time around.

Perhaps that was why he was so short with Uhura, when she argued her position aboard the Enterprise, (“It was an attempt to avoid the appearance of favouritism…” Spock had argued,) while Uhura was still reassigned while Spock kept a wary eye out to find Jim.
Where was he?!

Jim was currently having an allergic reaction to a vaccine McCoy had just given him. He couldn’t reply to any message/s he thought he heard his communicator chime he had.
(“I might throw up on you.” Jim had warned,) though as the thought passed his way was that Spock was going to worry himself. And that wasn’t a good place to be.
Never emotionally compromise a Vulcan.
…Says the person who had done it more than once…

Spock could only hope that Jim had made his way onto the Enterprise, and was incapable of replying to his communications. That didn’t stop him from worrying.
And he made sure Jim knew it when he, McCoy and Uhura stormed the bridge.

Spock could see the dry desperation and veiled apologies from Jim as he stormed in and argued with him and Pike, (more Pike then Spock; Spock was ‘playing along’ and ‘buying time’).
The look of planning that passed through to each other as they dropped out of hyperspace to a graveyard of Federation ships.
Jim will still slightly confused when Spock incognito handed him a single-way duo audio device.
Spock still hadn’t managed to tell him about his little black box that was wrapped in two thick black coats, that would soon reach zero, and ‘get the ball rolling’.

Soon enough, Nero appeared to talk to Pike, taking a moment to converse with Spock, who in character, played along:
“Pardon me, I do not believe you and I are acquainted.”
“No, we’re not. Not yet—” Nero started.

The whole of the Enterprise crew was amazed at the sight of beaming lights surround and consume both Jim and Spock, while in their place appeared several Vulcan Elders (and one human), looking slightly confused. The direct link with Nero seemed to waver with static before what looked like pandemonium hit their ship causing the line to break. Before anyone could speak the communications audio line loudly complained at suddenly receiving audio through the drills disruptions.
“The hell, Spock…! How’re we on the Narada?!” Jim’s voice came through with a bout of static, as if the communicator was having troubles connecting.
Pike blinked with the rest of his crew, while Uhura magnified the signal for the bridge to hear clearly.
“I transported us here; and the Elders into our place in case we do not succeed, Jim.” Spock’s reply came, confusing every being on the bridge.
“Can we patch through?” Pike asked.
Uhura flipped some switches. “Negative, Captain, only audio from their side. It’s somehow only a two-way channel between them, even without the drills interference, and we shouldn’t even be receiving audio from their devices. It seems forced and disrupting all other connectivity and systems of both ships.”
“When did you have the time for this?” Jim asked in amazement. “Good call by the way.”
“I built a transportable beaming device soon after you decided to leave.” Spock’s voice announced.
A what?
“The hell, Spock…!” Jim’s voice sounded startled. “While I was on Tarsus—” The whole crew flinched now knowing Jim was one of the survivors (while Amanda gasped in horror). “You decided to up and build one?!”
“Affirmative…It was logical to assume I could get to you in case your transmission to Starfleet was overlooked if you had not had contact after the first three months.” Spock’s reply came softly.
“Heh…Thanks, Spock…”
“You are welcome, Jim.”
“How the hell, are they working this efficiently, they were at each other’s throats a second ago!” McCoy announced with a frown.

“Did you announce world-wide evacuations for Vulcan, Spock?” Jim’s voice cut over. “You know, in case we can’t reach the drill in time and they decide they wanna erase Vulcan from the stars…again.”
The Vulcans on the bridge twitched, as if a ripple effect was felt at the thought.
“I did. I stated previously the Elders would be on the Enterprise.” Spock reminded, patiently; as if used to repeating himself.
“That means your parents are safe then. It would be hilarious if they could hear us, they’d be mentally freaking, Bones as well.” Jim said in amusement.
“Damn it, Jim!” McCoy muttered.
“Indeed, however they should not be able to. Doctor McCoy does have the tendency to…’freak’, when you do things illogically.” Spock said.
McCoy blinked in confusion; he had not spent any time with the Vulcan.
“He-he, like you don’t—SHIT!” Jim’s reply was cut off by phaser gun blasts.
“Jim…?!”
“We have Starfleet Officers on board!” A voice was heard informing.
The crew nearly flipped in alarm.
“Jim! Are you there?” Spock’s reply came in a hurry.
“Shh! I’m playing hide and see with Ayel!” Jim’s voice replied hushed.
The crew became silent, as if it would somehow help.
“…Are you injured?” Spock’s voice asked quietly.
“No, he missed. Where are you?” Jim asked.
There was a sudden noise.
“One of them is Vulcan—!” A voice came over then abruptly stopped as a shot was fired.
“…Now on board the Jellyfish,” Spock said.
“—Welcome back, Ambassador Spock.” A computer voice came through confusing all beings on the bridge.
“Still convinced that’s the weirdest name for a ship carrying something that can blow holes in the universe. Oh hey! That reminds me, we gotta get Scotty and say hello to Ambassador-you. He may not feel the destruction of Vulcan, but he’ll have to deal with not being fast enough to save Romulus, and I’d rather him not freeze to death.” Jim’s voice was still quiet. “If I have to mind-meld with any Vulcan again, I’d rather they never have their home world destroyed. I don’t want to feel its effects again.”

The Vulcans blinked.
“He mind-melded with you…?” Spock’s voice sounded only somewhat semi-surprised.
“I didn’t believe him, and you had of course just chucked me off the Enterprise onto Delta Vega. I wasn’t about to believe we were best buddies, Spock.” Jim reminded; there were phaser gun fire further away captured.
“I have already apologized for that, Jim.” Spock reminded him.
“I know, as have I. Ambassador-you felt the break in bond-link as the same he felt when he went through, — please tell if I get this right — kalifee?” Jim’s voice came through sounded bewildered.
The Vulcan’s twitched, while Amanda gasped in what sounded like worry and slight outrage.
“…You are pronouncing it wrongly. How do you have his memories?” Spock asked, over the computer’s voice announcing start up.
“…Emotional transference…He likened the same feelings, T’Pring—is that right?” Jim asked.
“Indeed.”
“—Challenged him, and chose his Jim for successor. No idea what that means, but whatever, he likened the same emotions he felt when he thought he killed his Jim.” Jim said.
“That would…” Spock tried, knowing very well how much losing Jim hurt. But, by his own hand…
“That, and at the same time, when he was told he had lost his….T’hy’la…and the bond between the two broke as a result of its death…. Please tell me I said all that right, yeah?” Jim asked; then sounded a louder blast and a rebound.
“He had a T’hy’la?” Spock asked, sounding surprised, like the rest of the beings from Vulcan.
“Yeah, what’s it mean? Wait; hold on, where are you?” Jim asked his voice hardening.
“Almost broke free.” Spock announced, and then they heard several amounts of repeat fire.
The crew looked to the Narada, as the two called it, and indeed a small ship blasted through and circled on itself and shot down towards the drill.
“We gotta get Scotty once we disable the drill.” Jim reminded.
“I remember.”
“Why would Ambassador-you decide that when he transported me and Scotty over, Scotty got dunked?” Jim asked, over phaser shots.
“…It seemed like fun at the time?” Spock questioned, making everyone’s eyebrows raise.
“S’chn T’gai Spock…!” Jim’s voice burst through, pronouncing the words perfectly, his voice sounded as if he wanted to laugh himself.
“…I apologise.”
“I never should have tried to teach you sarcasm, Spock.” Jim said while chuckling, and then a large bang noise came through.
“I would assume the Enterprise of his time and ours are altered due to Nero’s attack on the Kelvin.” Spock explained.
“Yeah, yeah—oh hey, speaking of which, there’s Nero…” Jim started.
“Jim…” Spock said in warning.
“HEY, LOOK AT ME, I’M A TARGET!” Jim shouted joyfully, the crew could perfectly visualise Jim jumping up from his hiding spot, arms waving to get Nero’s attention.

…Therein, followed loud repeated phaser fire.
“James! May I inform you, you are anything BUT a target…!” Spock counted in chide.
“Well, that worked…” Jim replied, breathing heavily, as if running; presumably away from Nero. “As if we didn’t need to divide his attention more; that means you have got about two minutes to destroy—”
“I know what it means.” Spock rushed to say, there was repeated gun fire, then he swore.
The Vulcan’s looked affronted, while Amanda held a hand over her mouth, as if to hide her grin.
Jim laughed. “No need to swear, Spock.”
“You stop learning Vulcan!” Spock’s replied hurry in chide.
“…Nah, it is fun. …You’re not gonna freak out like you did back on Galfron, are you?” Jim asked, a little cautiously.
Pike looked a little peeved by this point as he looked to the rest of his crew who looked equally oblivious, while Chekov did some searching.
“The system of Galfron is by our standards, at least one and a half years away from us. There has not been a human exploration planned.” Chekov responded, accent fluently throughout all his words.
“You were perfectly aware not to try any of the food before their ingredients were noted against your always-longing list of allergies, and before Doctor McCoy could be on hand in case of an reaction, Jim.” Spock reprimanded.
“But it was cake!” Jim near on whined.
“Which had its planetary version makeup for strawberries, cherries, alclove, aldi—”, Spock continued.
“I get it Spock; poke before chew. You’ve bonked me on the head enough times. Don’t ever come at me who a hypo again. Bones does that enough— hang-on, I gotta jump.” Jim voiced.
“You have to what?!” Spock’s reproach was quick.
Jim’s reply was a wheeze of breath, he had presumably, jumped.

“Drill disabled.” Spock’s voice informed.
Indeed, the drill stopped working and the small speck of a ship became clearer.
Jim wheezed.
“The red matter has been taken, the drill has been destroyed.” A Romulan male voice said.
“Spock!” Another voice screamed, a few loud footfalls sounded out going further away.
“There goes his attention.” Jim rasped.
“Are you injured?” Spock asked.
“Just got choked, be fine. Hang-on, gotta get Ayel. Warp away from Vulcan, make it chase you, and leave the Enterprise out of it, before ramming the Narada. We gotta get Scotty and Ambassador-you out of the cold.”
“You be well.” Spock replied as the Jellyfish worked its way around to face the Narada, to catch its attention, which tried to fire its weapons.
“Your face be well.” Jim retorted in his own version of kindness in a way to hide his own worries.
The Jellyfish zoomed around it (away from the direction of the Enterprise) and warped. The Narada followed diligently.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5 – Communication Skills II & Future Talks

The crew was left stunned.
“What the hell just happened?” McCoy exploded.
“I have no idea.”
“Presumably, they’ll be back, and we can question them, then.” Sarek commented first.
“Spock and Jim did seem to know what they were doing.” Amanda responded.
This got a few frowns, as the crew had no idea of the link between them.
“They also seemed to possess knowledge we do not.”
“No kiddin’!? We haven’t even been to Galfron! But I kid you not; Jim won’t be touching ANY cake!”

Spock and Jim landed on Delta Vega.
Jim grinned seeing Spock. “‘Kay, now I see why we have our jackets.” Jim said, taking out his earpiece and pocketing it.
“Shall we?” Spock questioned, doing the same with his earpiece.
“Your guess is as good as mine as to where he’ll be. He was in a cave when I was first here, but that was when Vulcan went bah-bye.”
Spock rolled his eyes. “Let’s try there first.” He was already freezing.

Jim trudged into the cave, looking back at Spock who was following. “I tell you, we’re not—” he turned to see an elder Vulcan looking rather amazed to see him. “Hey. That was easy.” He retorted with a blink.
“Nothing is ever ‘easy’, Jim.” Spock replied.
The elder Vulcan looked startled to see them to say the least.
“…Exploding universe, my ass...” Jim muttered.
Spock tried not to grin.
“I have no come to meet myself before, fascinating.” Elder-Spock said.
“Yeah, imagine how I feel, I’ve got two of you over me.” Jim said.
Elder-Spock looked amused.
Spock rolled his eyes.
“Now, I’m guessing you’re both cold. So, Spock, use that device you so love for the moment. I swear; I’ll forever hate the fact Khan stole it.” Jim said.
Elder-Spock’s expression hardened at the mention of the name.
Spock got out what looked like a black box form under his coat, shivering slightly as he did.
“Not to mention all the other things he did?” Spock asked in retort, pressing buttons as we went.
“Oh yeah, I’m forever pissed he killed me.” Jim snarled.
“Fascinating,” Elder-Spock commented. “You do not look dead.”
Spock glared at Jim.
“What?” He retorted to the glare, knowing its reasons. “I did all I could to save our ship, you were in the seat, I was there.”
“I believe there was a situation where I did the same thing when faced with Khan.” Elder-Spock commented.
Jim lit up just like a boyish achiever. “HA! See! It WAS what you would have done!” He said gleefully, while poking Spock.
“Indeed.” Spock said, looking up having finished his coding.
“How did you two find me?” Elder-Spock asked, going along with the flow, as if used to the fact weird things happened around Jim of any universe, and worked.
Jim looked sheepish. “Our minds were sent back three years from now back to when we were children; not quite the 129 years for you. But you could say we all cheated, and you’re both bad, bad Vulcans for learning that from me.” Jim said with a huge grin.
Elder-Spock chuckled.
Spook shook his head in his silent amusement, “When we’re ready.” Spock reminded.
“Right…!”

The three landed in the entrance hallway for the outpost. Jim quickly banged in the outward door, as if he had just come in.
“It is, for a term, ‘busted’.” Spock announced.
The black box had black smoke rising from it.
“Oh good, just in time,” Jim started, then looked to Elder-Spock, while Spock made the box look like putty as he destroyed it in his bare hands; erasing all evidence, “If you could.” He said with a cheeky smile which both Vulcans frowned at.
“To what to do—”
There was a clang of metal beyond them.
“Hello!” Jim called out, seemingly ignoring the two frowning Vulcans. “I’d rather they not know we came here by beaming, try to look like you’ve walked through the snow.”
The two Vulcans did not need to try to look cold.
They were freezing, even when Keenser brought them to Scotty.
“Fascinating,” Elder-Spock muttered, catching on to what Jim was referring to.
(“Well, tha’s brilliant, do they still have sandwiches there?” Scotty asked,) Jim and Spock let Elder-Spock run things; it would be bad if Scotty found out they too were technically from the future too. But he hadn’t asked them, directly, only to Elder-Spock.
(“The notion of transwarp beaming is like trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse— what’s that?” Scotty trailed off seeing what Elder-Spock was doing.
“Your equation for achieving transwarp beaming,” He said then left the station.)
Scotty seemed too far gone that his formula worked.

With the ta’al exchanged; Jim, Spock and Scotty were beamed back to the Enterprise’s engineering room. Scotty found himself personally acquainted with the water works.
“Damn it, Spock!” Jim cursed and ran for the release valve.
Gathering the attention of Pike; they soon found themselves herded back up to the bridge.
Jim felt Spock flinch when he saw the Elders, more specifically; his parents, and automatically reverted to his modern-day Vulcan practices, that would get less questions about where they were from could he help it. Spock had already known that it would be very hard to explain Vulcan being gone when Vulcan clearly was not gone to anyone who asked about his let up in ‘teachings’.

Pike looked to Scotty, who was soaking wet.
“…This…I’ll assume…is ‘Scotty’.” Pike exclaimed.
All three blinked.
“How’dae know me name?” Scotty asked, rather confused.
Jim and Spock shared the same look.
“I assume you heard our radio talk when we were over on the Narada.” Spock said.
While Jim swore; Scotty looked confused.
“Now who’s swearing?” Pike asked, Jim stared, “Explain: now.” He ordered.
Jim sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.

Jim looked unsettled. “I’m betting you can explain this, a hell lot better than I could, Spock.” Jim countered, looking to Spock.
“On the contrary, I find I too am having difficulty in finding words.” Spock replied.
“Is that Vulcan for, don’t put me on the spot, because I don’t want to explain? Jim asked, with a gleam in his eyes.
Spock rolled his eyes. “I will try, Jim.”
“Good, because I don’t understand this shit either.” Jim said, looking about ready to just sit on the floor in a huff.

“Our minds are from approximately three years from now, and we have had that knowledge since our childhoods.” Spock announced, going for the simplest recounts.
“How the hell…?” Pike and McCoy asked at the same time.
Jim shrugged. “No idea. Once minute we’re playing chess in our connecting quarters, then boom, I’m being cornered by three Vulcans! Which I freaked out about by the way; I’m not used to seeing more than three Vulcans at once. Here they were TEAMING up on me! And they weren’t the three I knew!” Jim exploded in a rush of words, sending an apologetic smile towards the Elders. “So, if I’m ignorant, just know I have reasons?” Jim started, blinked, and then looked to Spock. “I can say that, yeah? Does that, what was it, ‘protection’, still hold?” Jim asked, looking severely confused, and a little on edge with how many Vulcans were in his presence; and they all had their attentions on him.
Amanda looked shocked, “From back then?” She asked; her eyes wide.
“You are referring to the time when Jim was on Vulcan.” Spock clarified, both humans nodded, not noticing the game of eye table tennis going on with the crew. “I had you placed under my protection during the time you had no access to the same memories I had. I did not want you going back to an environment that would endanger you further.” Spock bristled.
“I know you’re still pissed about me going to Tarsus.” Jim acknowledged. “I couldn’t let them die again, when I could try to prevent it, I knew personally what and when Kodos did things, Spock.” Jim reminded his friend, and would have liked to have been tactile, but mindful of the many Vulcans, he did not.

“This was going somewhere.” Pike spoke up, making Jim flinch.
“Right, basically, we don’t know how this happened. But it happened.” Jim said.
“Ambassador-you…?” Pike echoed.
Jim flinched and turned to Spock with a pout. “Shit.”
“Indeed.” Spock conceded.
“Okay, um, how’d he explain it the first time?” Jim looked slightly off, and then blinked. “…Basically in 129 years from now a star near Romulus goes into supernova, Spock agreed to help the Romulans, by injecting red matter into the supernova. Before he could, the star destroyed Romulus. The red matter created a tunnel through space-time, causing the Nerada to come through first and in front of the USS Kelvin, and the Jellyfish to come through 20-odd years later. Before we corrected it, Nero drilled into Vulcan to create a centre of point for the red matter, destroying the planet and most of its inhabitants…” Jim explained. They all saw the result of understanding go through the Vulcan Elders. “Morale of the story, Spock, in 129 years from now; remember to kill that star, please?” Jim asked.
Spock blinked. “I will endeavour to remember, Jim.”

“How did you know where Mister Scott would be?” Pike asked, causing Scotty to blink through the amount of information download to his now involvement.
“Ah,” Jim started. “That would be when Nero wanted you over the Nerada, you put Spock in the Captain’s chair, and me in first. We disagreed on our course. Spock threw me off the ship and onto Delta Vega. I met Ambassador-Spock there, and he looked mighty surprised to see Scotty there, he used his theory of transwarp beaming to put us back on the Enterprise. He told me that in his verse that I had been Captain, him first, and to succeed against Nero, I would need to be so.” Jim recounted, brushing over wounds.
Pike looked surprised. “You were Captain?”
Jim nodded. “Three years prior getting sent back. Probably a lot longer in his verse; Spock was my first. He has the uncanny capability to save my ass a lot.”
“Which would not need saving if you looked before you leaped, Jim.” Spock reminded in chide.
Jim rolled his eyes. “If shit stopped hitting the fan every time we go on a damn mission, I might.” He rebuffed.
“And Galfron…?” Spock reminded, one eyebrow rising.
“And within the exception of wonderful looking cake,” Jim said while glaring at Spock. “Stop bringing up Galfron!”
Spock nodded, and immediately his posture changed to receive the order. It was as if he interpreted Jim’s tone of voice as an order. The others could see how Spock would react if Jim was Captain.

“You do realise that in changing all this you are not Captain?” Pike asked, curious if Jim had thought this through that far.
Spock looked to Jim as well.
Jim nodded. “I know. But if I could save just one life, I would do it again. Spock and I just saved Vulcan. I would call that a fair trade.” Jim said, smiling a small sad smile.
Spock frowned, seeing something in Jim the others hadn’t. Seeing the frown Pike and the rest looked curious.
“Jim?” Spock started.
“Hm…?” He answered.
“Are you well?” Spock asked.
Jim then frowned. “No, no, I don’t think I am.”
Jim then fainted.
Spock acted quick enough to break his fall, and take Jim into his arms.
“Jim!”

Darkness seemed to be overwhelming. Though, it wasn’t quite as smothering like the darkness through death.
Jim.
That voice sounded familiar.
Jim.
The voice called again, its voice casting light into the darkness.
Spock.
It was Spock’s voice.

McCoy would have done a double take and ordered a trip to the shrink had he not seen it himself; as soon as the Vulcans were off the ship, and the two (one Vulcan and the one human from Vulcan) that had followed had not entered the med-bay with them as well: Spock immediately showed emotions; specifically worry and concern. Vulcans don’t have emotions, damn it! McCoy could barely get Spock to budge from where he had placed himself; right by Jim’s immediate side, like he was glued! It was weird seeing a Vulcan show emotions! McCoy couldn’t let it go.
“Damn Goblin.” He muttered as he read the medical wand.
“Query…?” Spock asked.
McCoy twitched; he still sounded like a Vulcan!
“He’ll be fine. His body is exhausted. You wouldn’t happen to know how long ago he last slept last would you….”
Spock shook his head. “His sleeping pattern is always irregular at best. I have previously found him awake during all hours of the night.”
McCoy shook his head. “Sounds like Jim, alright.” He said with a sigh.
“Indeed.” Spock replied. “Do you have any estimation as to when he will wake?”
McCoy scoffed, “When he damn well wants to.”

Jim groaned, catching the attention of his two bystanders.
“…Spock?” Jim asked; his voice slightly blurred.
“I am here. Doctor McCoy is to.” Spock answered.
Jim blinked to get his mind working. “Where are we?” He asked.
“On our way back to Earth; I predict we will be called in front of the Admiralty.” Spock said cautiously.
“…Oh, great…Which ones…?” Jim asked. “Am I meant to be nice to one in particular?”
This had McCoy confused.
“You will need to be, as will I.” Spock answered.
“That’s gonna be hard.” Jim said with a grimace.
“Indeed.” Spock said stiffly.
“…How are Amanda and Sarek?” Jim asked.
“They are still aboard. I believe they wish to talk to you.” Spock replied.
“Awesome…When do we get to Earth? And when will I get outta here?”
“We will arrive in approximately two hours.” Spock told him, and then looked to McCoy.
“Dammit, Jim…! Let me check you over first, before you jump the gun.” McCoy grumbled.
Jim lit up at the possibility of leaving.
“How do you feel?” McCoy asked while running his medical wand over Jim.
“Not dead.” Jim replied; at the comment both noticed Spock flinch, “Sorry, Spock.”
Spock shook his head, but remained silent.
“Okay….!” McCoy started awkwardly not understanding why in the least Spock would flinch at the mention of Jim saying he was dead.

“Spock.” Spock heard his mother call, hearing her, he looked to the med bay’s doors to see her ‘come hither’ look, but she wouldn’t step into the med bay itself.
Spock looked back to Jim, who nodded his leave.
“Damn it, Jim. Stay still. Don’t pass go—” McCoy continued to rant as Spock left to see what his mother wanted.

Outside the med bay’s doors both parents stood, gathering curious looks from various passer-by’s.
“Yes, Mother?” Spock queried, knowing in most likely it was her questioning and Sarek was brought along by her.
Amanda looked rather puzzled. “How’s Jim?”
Spock nodded. “He awoke and is being overseen by his physician doctor McCoy. He is well, and would likely state that he has had worse.” Spock recounted.
Amanda smiled. “Have you had much contact since the time he left Vulcan?”
Spock shook his head. “We only communicated to tell of our whereabouts, and when Jim would be on Tarsus.”
Amanda looked alarmed, while Sarek frowned.
“You let him go to Tarsus?” Amanda asked quickly, Sarek’s frown deepened as if he had wanted to ask the query.
Spock let out a puff of air, which got raised eyebrows at. “The reason I gave consent for him to go, as he asked for it; not that he needs it, was because I was sure had he been there a too long of a duration I would have been able to retrieve him. Furthermore, I knew even without such consent from me, he would have gone anyway. I have found that Jim is typically the type of human to repeat such reoccurring behaviour.” Spock said.
Amanda tried to hide her flinch when yet again she realised her son had three alternative years’ experience beyond. Three years without Vulcan. “How—how many…” She tried to start but seemed unable to finish.
Sarek looked to her as if not understanding what she wanted to say.
While Spock unknowingly so-humanly cocked his head, and didn’t register Amanda’s amazed look not Sarek’s increased frown.
“An estimation of ten thousand survived the fall of Vulcan.” Spock confirmed what Amanda was trying to say, while Sarek lost his frown and stared openly.
Amanda blinked in astonishment. “How is it that you knew what I wanted to know?”
“Jim has been reluctant most times when he asked after Vulcan and of my background.” Spock told them and watched as both of them flinched.
“Which of us did not return?” Sarek’s first question made Spock flinch.
Amanda and Sarek watched quietly as Spock silently looked from Sarek to Amanda: His gaze staying on Amanda as if to make sure she still breathed. Then jolted away and looked towards the med bay.
They had their answer.
Jim had become the closest thing that a Vulcan could have to step in to hold such a bond, and make one in its own right; a true loyal friend.
Such a bond was present between Spock and Jim.
Even if they didn’t realise how deep it ran, and how deep it would always run.

They watched as Spock frowned, as if puzzled.
“Spock?” Amanda asked.
He looked back to them quickly. “Excuse me.” He said and stalked back into the med bay.
Human curiosity caused Amanda to follow, baring that now there were no immediate dangers to Jim’s life, with Sarek following his family quietly assessing.

Jim’s bio-bed was empty. Statistics of his person were still displayed.
McCoy came back into view holding a PADD. “Alright, Jim—” He stopped to look. “Damn it, Jim! Where’s he gone!?” McCoy saw Spock. “Is he clear that he has summons’ to appear before the admiralty? He can’t sneak off!”
Spock blinked. “He is aware, doctor. He isn’t one to stay in medical centres for long periods of time; even when he cannot walk.” Spock announced.

“What the hell causes him NOT to walk!?” McCoy burst out angrily; not at all seeing that Spock was walking around the med bay as if he knew it like the back of his hand. But Amanda and Sarek saw and watched his movements with ease. He stopped by a trolley loaded with full of hypo-sprays.
“When he decides to boldly see by throwing himself in front of a falling tree to, see if he had ‘superhuman’ strength.” Spock said clear and deadpanned, while the humans stared at him incredulously. “It was decided by the many broken leg bones, that he indeed, was not indicating superhuman strength.” Spock stopped, and his head cocked to one side again. “Doctor McCoy, was this trolley here before Jim awoke?” Spock continued to question calmly.
McCoy blinked as if he just realised Spock and the equipment had moved. “The hell…?!”
Spock yet again blew out a puff of air. “I shall retrieve him.”
Before anyone else could stop him, he left the med bay.
Not a moment passed before McCoy and Amanda were chasing after him, while Sarek followed, still quietly assessing.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6 – Marcus’s Decisions: A Shoot in the Dark

“And just how do you know where he’ll be, just because that trolley was moved?” McCoy grumbled as Spock hailed the lift.
“While under his command, he had frequently hid around the Enterprise to get away from either of us, if he was bored, or the Enterprise needed some fix he determined he could do and/or could lend a hand with.” Spock announced.
“Why would he hide from you?” Amanda queried, it had seemed to her their relationship was solid.
There was a small twitch in Spock’s lips that indicated a small smile, but it was gone as soon as they saw it. “He seemed to think the crew would benefit to have a ‘your Captain is being held for ransom on your ship, find him or we kill him’, moment and see if they could still keep the Enterprise afloat, not quite understanding then how many ‘heart attacks’ he had caused by his disappearance.” Spock said.
Amanda looked miffed. “Did they?”
“Indeed. It took us half hour to locate him, as he had rigged the computer to falsify and replicate his location throughout the ship, while erasing all tracks of his current person.” Spock continued as the lift opened and they filled in.
They noted curiously that Spock pushed for the lowest deck.
“Who found his location?” Sarek asked.
“I was the first to find him located in the Jefferies tubes; fixing a malfunction that had not shown up in the reports.” Spock recounted.
“Then how did he know there was a malfunction?” Sarek asked, as Amanda and McCoy looked baffled.
“Upon asking such a question, he told me; ‘the steering was off and went to check it out’.”
Amanda looked amazed.

The group was content in watching Spock as he stride throughout engineering until, puzzling; he stopped in an odd section of non-consequential cross-section, where there was clearly no Jim, and no human in sight.
But then, Spock looked up. “Jim.” He called, not at all raising his voice, nor seemed caring to the others that it looked like he was talking to thin air.
The rest looked up in time to see Jim’s head pop up from above an infrequent steaming pipe to astonish them all.
“Hey, Spock…!” He called down, as if it was a regular occurrence to be found there. He then saw McCoy. “…I left without getting properly released again, didn’t I?” Jim asked.
Spock nodded, while McCoy grumbled.
“Is the valve loose again?” Spock asked, missing the frowns it caused.
“Apparently we’re losing organic yield, so I hopped up here to see.”
They noticed how Spock didn’t seem to ask how Jim knew this.

Amanda flinched; he had said ‘organic yield’, as being a Tarsus survivor, a loss in food to them would signal the starting’s of wide starvation.
It had seemed Jim had taken it upon himself to make sure it wouldn’t happen on the ship that for three years alternative years had been his.
Sarek understood as well.
Spock seemed used to his friend’s ways as he knew where to find him.
McCoy looked concerned Jim would further hurt himself.

“We haven’t got as many Vulcans on the ship this time, so it wasn’t because of that.” Jim started, making both Amanda and Sarek flinch at the reasons. “And they weren’t damaged at this time, either.”
Spock blinked. “Analysis…?”
Jim huffed. “Apparently a steady increase of 1.5% loss in yield to unknown means is by all acceptable by Starfleet and isn’t a concern. There is no reason for the loss, yet there is loss.” Jim told, clearly concerned and upset.
“Are you able to fix it?” Spock asked as Jim’s head disappeared from view.
“I’m going to need a hydro-spanner!” Jim called.
By luck or fate, the rest didn’t know, but once Spock head his head down; his eyes fell on a newly red shirted Mister Scott.
“Mister Scott,” He called, making the man turn to him.
“Aye…?” Scotty asked.
“Are you familiar with the location of the hydro-spanner?” Spock queried.
Scotty blinked, nodded and ran off; then returned not too later with it.
With it handed to Spock, he looked back up, gaining another spectator. “Jim. Incoming.”
With the warning Spock threw up the spanner, alarming many.
All quietened when a hand whipped out to take it non-pulsed. “Thanks, Spock!”
Scotty froze. “Who’s up there…!?”
Jim’s head popped up again. “Hey, Scotty…! How’s the ship doing?”
Scotty stared, knowing perfectly well Jim had memories of being a Captain. So, what was he doing up there!? And WHY!
“Fine…sir…Ah…What are yeh doin’ up there?” Scotty asked, but before he could finish, Jim’s head disappeared.
“He is fixing the materialization rate per yield ratio.” Spock said. They could also hear how many times Spock had said those words.

“Hah!” Jim’s voiced yelled triumphantly, causing them to blink up at his location.
“What has you triumphant, Jim?” Spock queried.
“The codes haven’t changed!” Jim’s voice returned as he laughed. “Oh, and I also used yours, Spock.”
Spock humanly rolled his eyes, which caught the attention of Sarek and Amanda.
“Will your actions not go unnoticed by Pike?” Spock asked, seemingly fine with the fact Jim knew his codes.
“Nah, hang low, I’m coming down.” Jim cautioned.

With it, the onlookers watched as Spock went to one side of the cross-section, a hand out to grasp the spanner that fell from Jim’s location calmly, after putting it aside, he looked for Jim.
Jim was scaling the machinery like one would professionally scale mountains, jumping to one side to the other to miss several live sections.
The watching group was amazed at when at a certain point when Jim neared the floor, Spock calmly stretched out his hands to take hold of Jim, and brought him down, only letting go once Jim found his feet properly.
“Thanks, Spock.” Jim said with a grin.
“Indeed.” Spock returned; his hands returning to their previous location of behind his back. “You deem it fixed?”
Jim sighed. “No, but it’ll do. I’ve stopped the rate from getting worse.”
Spock nodded and returned to grasp the spanner to give it back to Scotty who went to put it back.

Jim looked to and fro once from Spock to McCoy as they waited for the lift.
Spock blinked, and frowned a little.
“It’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you and Bones about, since he knows and everything is different, and I’m not sure how the Admiralty is gonna play out.” Jim replied to Spock’s silent question.
The communal amazed several.
“There are many variables at play, Jim.” Spock reminded as the lift binged and they made their way back to med bay with McCoy, Amanda and Sarek, silent as ever.
“Yes, against me. Now, both of you…” Jim started, and he rounded in front of both McCoy and Spock, who immediately stalled, while Amanda and Sarek splinted of to the side; briefly reminded again that Jim used to be a Captain. “No matter what they do to me, you will stay in your respective fields on this ship; with or without me.”
No one was quiet sure whose alarm was greater; Spock’s or McCoy’s.
“Jim—”
“I know the both of you. The Admiralty may send me to another ship, keep me grounded at the Academy, or at worse suspend me entirely.” Jim said. “You have your respective fields already; I don’t want you chucking them because of this.” At this point he gave Spock a long stare, as if he knew the Vulcan would most likely do such a thing.
“Jim, you can’t mean that.” McCoy started, looking a little lost.
“They cannot suspend you, Jim. You saved Vulcan, and subsequently Earth—” Spock started.
“With knowledge of three years to their senior: This isn’t like with the Ambassador; he can get away with it. With the subsequent change of Vulcan still being here; ours is almost the same. They may suspend me on ground that I will not tell them anything apart from how we saved Vulcan, and knew how to do it.” Jim replied. “I knew by saving Vulcan it would affect me directly, Spock, that I had no doubt. I’d rather not sit around saving my own skin when I can save others.”
Spock shook his head. “I was not accusing you of such, Jim. I know you well enough. I am saying that even aside our memories that saved Vulcan, if the media gets a hold of it they will not like it, nor would it look good if you were dismissed for saving both planets: Especially since it is you.”
Jim snorted. “Yeah, that whole debacle with Harrison didn’t go down very well, either.” He replied. “Are you agreed to stay?” His question bringing them back:
Spock stared. “I will not lie to you. You are my friend, and I will not leave you.”
This got a few raised eyebrows.
Jim sighed. “But Spock—”
“But nothing, damn it…!” McCoy burst through.
“Bones…” Jim tried.
“Who else is gonna make sure you don’t kill yourself, huh? You can’t even fend for yourself!” McCoy said angrily.
Both Jim and Spock flinched at his words.

“In any case, we will have to see what the Admiralty decides before anything else.” Spock announced; “As well as Captain Pike.”
“I’m going to miss this ship.” Jim said sadly.
“You are very convinced.” Sarek spoke up from the sidelines.
Jim blinked. “From experience: They don’t like me.”
Spock frowned. “That negatively has only come from particulars.”
Jim glared. “What was I supposed to do? I wasn’t about to leave you in that damned Volcano, Spock!”
They watched curiously as Spock yet again so humanly rolled his eyes. “We have discussed this and dismissed this, Jim.” Spock reminded.
“I know: Their hatred stems from that, or because of my Captaincy being fast-tracked.” Jim replied.
“Which stands to reason they will not come to return that emotion: as here they have no recollection of those facts.” Spock pointed out.
“I’m still convinced they’ll dismiss me when I won’t tell squat about what happens after Nero. Marcus will want extensive information about the Romulans and Klingons. What am I meant to say? We dance merrily with then every full moon?” Jim gritted out.
Spock blinked in confusion. “That would be illogical as we have never….danced…with either race.”
Jim chuckled. “Idiom, Spock.”
Spock nodded. “Understood.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Spock, but don’t you have things to do?” McCoy asked as he glared at Jim, who grinned as he sat back on his bio bed.
“Indeed.” Spock said calmly.
McCoy raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you, I don’t know, be elsewhere, doing them?”
Spock blinked.
“Go ahead, Spock. I’m fine.” Jim announced, causing Spock to snap his head to him. “I’ll message you when we’re done.”
Spock blinked silently.
Resulting Jim to nod, and pat his pocket.
With it: had Spock nodding, and leaving the med bay just as silently.
The humans of the group looked amazed.

Jim sighed. “That went well.”
McCoy looked miffed.
“What went well?” Amanda asked, still off to the side with Sarek.
McCoy stuck a medical device to Jim’s face, with it his eye twitched at.
“Getting Spock to leave: Normally it takes a lot more to get him to leave and go back to his post.” Jim said thoughtfully.
“Indeed?” Sarek intoned for the first time.
Jim flinched. “I apologise, Ambassador.”
This had them frowning.
“For what…?” Amanda asked.
“I’m not too sure the differences between Vulcans, but I remember how Spock used to be before Vulcan was destroyed. Any and all Vulcans I met after they were indeed, more forthcoming with their emotions. Something to do with life-bonds being completely and utterly completely severed at the same time…” Jim looked a little unsure. “I’ve never wanted to ask Spock about Vulcan, but I’ve picked up a few things from the three Vulcans I know, but…”
“Wait, which three? Spock’s a given, whose the other two?” McCoy asked, still taking down readings.
“Ambassador’s Spock and Sarek,” Jim replied, amazing surprised looks. “I didn’t have many dealings with Vulcans outside those three. I only had to ask either version of Spock about the new colony and they knew all what was happening.” Jim told, and then looked to Amanda and Sarek. “I know that after Vulcan getting destroyed, and his mother dying in front of them, Spock was more emotional and allowed to be.”

This caused Amanda to flinch.
“He won’t say anything to you, but there will be times, and you’ve probably seen differences already; in the way he acts and is. He still has memories of Vulcan, and will still deal with that loss, even if the rest of the Vulcan people do not.” Jim said, a little on edge at saying so much.
Without much say so, Amanda flung herself around Jim, causing him to yelp out in surprise as he stiffened, and McCoy to back up in surprise.
“Thank you, so very much!” Amanda responded.
Jim blinked in confusion. “F—for what, Ma’am…?” Jim’s voice had gotten very small and limited.
“Whoa, Jim calm down!” McCoy said loudly.
Amanda immediately let go, and Jim’s vitals returned to normal.
“Never Ma’am, Jim, remember?” Amanda reminded softly.
It reminded her how much memory could still hurt presently.
Just as much as memories could haunt Jim, they could haunt Spock as well.
She was pretty sure her actions had seen to Sarek noticing and coming to the same understanding.

Jim blinked in confusion. “What were you thanking me for?” He paused. “…Besides the obvious…”
Amanda smiled. “For being there for Spock when we could not.”
She was pretty sure Sarek understood the silent jab she was metaphorically hitting him over the head with. Looking to him, he seemed to understand.
“Uh…you’re welcome? I think…” Jim replied awkwardly.

“What did you mean, from before, that you would message him?” Amanda asked, as McCoy took the medical device off Jim’s face and with one hand took up his PADD to record his findings properly.
“Here, drink this.” McCoy said, thrusting a cup of clear liquid into Jim’s hands, with his other hand.
“The heck, Bones?” Jim asked.
McCoy glared, which made Jim drink out of the straw while digging into his pocket and retrieving a communicator, then handed it to Amanda.

By all reckonings, such a communicator device should not even be several years old.
The one that Jim handed her should only be as such, with its range and ability.
But it had ten years its senior; backed up by the many dated messages sent and retrieved by the device.
“…You drove a car off a cliff!?”
Oops.

Jim wasn’t quite sure what Amanda and Sarek were trying to do, or what they even wanted to do; but they hadn’t left his side. He was guessing it was more Amanda’s influence more than Sarek’s will to be there. It confused Jim to no end why they would be there, and not anywhere else. Hell, why they weren’t back on Vulcan confused the hell out of him! He really had no experience with well-meaning parents. And from what Jim could surmise, Sarek was still pissed at Spock for joining Starfleet, (he had learnt that from the elder of the two versions, and found it to be true, as Sarek was less forthcoming about Spock’s humanity once Amanda was lost to him) and he could still mean well.
But why were they with him?! Amanda and Sarek had ceased their questioning, McCoy had to hold him in med bay (damn Bones to hell!) because he theoretically had nothing to do or anything assigned to him. He knew what Pike would be doing; he knew what Spock would be doing. But he had no idea what would become of him once the Enterprise docked in less than half hour.
Jim wasn’t nervous per say. He was nervous in which how far his two best friends would go in trying to save him. The Admiralty wouldn’t know what hit them over the head if Spock and McCoy (either separately – or heaven forbid, should they team up again) would defy everything they threw at the two that stood between them and what stood between them and their staying with Jim, no matter where they put him.
But he had bigger worries to think about, and bigger things to try and protect.

Jim sighed, he loved his friends as much as they loved him back, but they couldn’t throw away their careers for him.
“What’s wrong, Jim?” Amanda asked, she had previously chased away her husband to make him find the galley in an attempt to get him out the med bay for uncounted duration of time, it had worked along with the glare and subtle looks to Jim that had made him leave. She as well as Sarek and seen Jim didn’t take well with any Vulcan (besides Spock) for a long duration of time. It was just her luck that McCoy had gone off to talk with his associates.
“I’m worried about what Spock and Bones with do after the Admiralty meeting. Both have defied them before, will continue to defy with them if it means bartering their daily lives with me.” Jim said with a sigh. “I don’t want them giving away their careers because of me.”
Jim looked rather miserable.
Amanda sighed and sat down in the chair next to Jim’s bio bed.
“Could you blame them for not wanting to?” She asked.
“That’s not the point! If I get kicked out, I don’t want them to do the same! I know what lengths Spock and Bones will go to!” He paused, “They don’t need to: I’ll be fine; they have jobs to do.” Jim said a little helplessly.
Amanda searched his face to his blue eyes and saw a little boy she knew on Vulcan; desperate and trying to live up to expectations he knew he couldn’t, a little boy who tried to stay unafraid in front of anybody when he was very much afraid.

“I doubt any of you will be fine.” Amanda surmised.
She could see the alarm of both being’s faces at when Jim told them to continue without him. Jim was something constant in their lives, and she was pretty much knew they (Spock included), would wander around like confused little ducklings without their mother if one should leave the other two.
Jim looked at her blankly.
Amanda gave a long suffered sigh. “Do you really think you leaving will have no consequence on McCoy, or Spock?”
Jim looked away. “Spock has his people back, as well as you.” He muttered. He knew firsthand how it affected Spock in losing both.
“And I’m an Admiral.” Amanda replied bluntly, with it Jim frowned at her. “You know his other version, yes?” Jim’s frown continued to stay, but he nodded. “Was his planet unaffected?” Jim nodded, still clueless. “How does he look at you, when you’re with him, even when you first met on Delta Vega?”
Jim’s head cocked to one side. “Like anything I did or would have suggested he would have blindly followed and fully supported.”

Amanda smiled. “Then even with his planet, and me, Spock will still need you by his side, as you will need him by yours; no matter where you are. I cannot speak for doctor McCoy, as I don’t know him very well enough like I do you and Spock. But I can surmise it might be near on the same.”
Jim sighed reverently. “I still wish they won’t leave their fields on the Enterprise…”
“What you wish is irrelevant, Jim.” McCoy’s voice came making Jim jump a mile, and turning to him.
“Bones…” Jim started, not at all noticing Amanda’s sweetened smile.
McCoy shook his head fondly. “Even knowing me for three years more and it doesn’t make you any wiser?”
Jim huffed. “Oh, it does. It is why I want you to stay.”
“And I think you stupid and that I would go sane without you pestering me.” McCoy grumbled.
“I think you better get accustomed to them by your side, Jim.” Amanda said while giggling.
“Still doesn’t mean I like it.” Jim muttered.
“Don’t make me hypo your ass.” McCoy threatened, making Jim flinch.
“Vulcan loyalty shouldn’t be taken lightly, Jim, once you have it, they don’t let go easily, and it is not blatantly given. You have to have earned it with both Spock’s. Either of them will follow you to the end of the universe, questioning only when your life is in danger.” Amanda reminded.
Jim sighed. “I know, I know. But it’s going to cost him his job.”

Amanda smiled. “You think he cares for such a thing when who knows what could be happening to you?”
“Damned I’d go insane.” McCoy muttered, thinking on such a scenario.
Amanda smiled widely once she heard him. “Who’s your next of kin, medically, Jim?”
“Spock is.” He answered immediately, as if seeing another time when such a question needed a quick answer.
This raised eyebrows.
And Jim remembered where he was, and blinked when Amanda grinned.
“What did you want to know that for?” McCoy asked, knowing very well he would be the only doctor Jim would ask for, and would most likely be second in line if Spock ever failed the be Jim’s third and fourth shadow (which seeing the last several hours; he very much doubted. Which meant both of them would be called if Jim became injured).
Amanda grinned as if she had a second agenda. “…Just wanted to know.”

The Enterprise docked and as a result, caused all the crew to head dirt-side, before long Spock had found himself by Jim’s side well before they beamed down.
“I believe no one but a select few of Starfleet Admirals know of the situation properly.” Spock announced.
“So basically, the whole world knows.” Jim said.
“Precisely,” Spock said, causing Jim to laugh.
“Why would everyone know?” Amanda asked, still confused.
“The walls have ears.” Jim said conspiringly.
“Ah.”

With that they beamed down.
Right into a frenzy of Starfleet officers: and their families; and the media.
“Indeed.” Sarek muttered.
As much as Spock and McCoy tried they were all separated from each other and Jim, but they all remained knowing where Jim was.
Amanda and Sarek saw it first; Spock and McCoy in quick concession. Jim, unfortunately, was last to notice until it was quite too late to run:
Quite too late.
“Jim!” A voice called.
Jim froze and seized up violently as a pair of arms wrapped around him.
With his back to his friends he couldn’t see they were now making their way back to his side, along with Amanda and Sarek who could very well gather by Jim’s reaction and by the change of Spock’s mood who was in Jim’s company.

“Jim!” A voice called.
Jim knew that voice; so much he froze and had no escape of her arms surrounding him.
“You just love making your dearest mother, worry, don’t you?” She voiced her voice somewhat cold.
Jim had stiffened as soon as Winona had put her arms around him, unable to do anything against childhood trauma’s memories whizzing into his head and consuming him.
“No, Ma’am….” Jim’s voice was small and hollow.
Winona pulled back, with an approving smile by his response; not at all noticing the group behind him, nor the protective Vulcan waiting to pounce.
“You did make me worry; you always make me worry, you left me, Sam left me, George left me! You always leave me! You never cared that you make me worry!” Winona cried out.
Everyone but Winona saw Jim flinch at her words and her tone of voice. Most were left wondering who Sam was.
“Yes, Ma’am….” Jim replied.
“Here you are, right where I never wanted you to be! You left me again! I don’t know anything about you, your friends—” Winona stopped when a soul stopping noise sounded, a sound that was very much directed at her.
With a glance up; she saw that there was a group of being’s behind Jim; members of the group were also looking to one person in the group in particular.
It was a Vulcan, (the younger Vulcan, as she saw there were two of them).
He was the person bearing the noise.
It came out like a very low dangerous growl. Near so, she nearly did a step back; while Jim was still frozen and reeling.

Spock was growling.
He had enough.
Here this woman was insinuating that Jim was the one to leave, when it was precisely the opposite.
This was the woman who had left his friend to deal with Frank alone.
Before he could stop himself, a primal growl had sounded out from him. Be that a growl then him trying to kill her.
He knew somewhere; in the corner of his mind that Jim would not like to be a witness nor of a receiver of news that his mother was dead: by his own hand. Jim would be adverse to any type of killing, even if it was Winona.
So he growled, to any human it would be a sure sign of displeasure and malice, and a perceived threat.
She had talked long enough, this had gone on long enough; Spock wanted nothing less than to get Jim away from this woman and as far away from her as possible.

Those who knew Vulcans (said Vulcans and Amanda), knew the situation was getting on a dangerous tone, and it needed to be defused, quickly.
“Ma’am,” Sarek started in his usual Vulcan emotionless voice, causing Winona to look to him. “I do believe Mister Kirk has a place to be, and we very much need to be on our way.”
Winona stared at him, not fully understanding what he was saying to her, or what he wanted her to do; she found it easier to look back to a wide-eyed still frozen solid Jim.
“So eager to get out of my sight once again…?” Winona asked; her voice still cold.
Jim shivered. “No, Ma’am.” Jim sounded, still in a small voice.
“Jim has an appointment with Starfleet that we must keep, Ma’am.” Spock announced coldly, speaking for the first time, still dangerously low, and still in threat of returning to growling at her. Vulcan teachings be adverse.

Before Winona could say anything else, a Starfleet messenger came running up to them.
“Mister Kirk!” The boy announced, stopping in front of them. “The Admirals have convened for you, if you could follow me….”
Jim did not move, still looking at his mother, as if needing her approval to leave.
Spock walked up to him, and put a hand on his arm. “Jim.” He called.
Suddenly, as if Winona had disappeared, Jim turned to Spock, with a blink; he reverted back to himself.
Spock gave a small nod; you can leave; we will be waiting outside for you when you finish.
Jim smiled and without second glancing at Winona left with the messenger.
Winona looked to them all, a little tad confused.
“Who are you all?” Winona asked.
Spock refused to stay any longer in her presence without Jim near to stop him from being rash, decided to leave in the same direction he knew where Jim would be waiting for him.
“We; are Jim’s friends, and frankly, I don’t feel like talking to you.” McCoy said, and with that he, Amanda and Sarek left her very much alone.

Spock thought it vindictive; she was once as she claimed for the first time; left alone. He would do anything in his power to make sure she didn’t come anywhere near Jim as long as he breathed.
Jim had once said ‘I’m not touching that with a ten foot poll!’; to something he was averse to, and at the time Spock had not quite understood the idiom (as Jim did not have a ten foot poll); however, now he quite understood the term. He would rather not touch Winona with a ten foot poll, as being ten foot in front of her would be too close, and not far enough away. He would very much need a bigger poll to reach the desired distance of half way across the globe.

Spock watched as McCoy passes backwards and forwards the length of the hallway for the forty-seventh time.
“Doctor McCoy, could you please cease your wanderings?” Spock asked, finally from his seat outside the room the Admiralty were talking with Jim.
McCoy stalled and looked to Spock who was sitting beside his parents.
“We’re worried too, doctor McCoy, but please stop making me dizzy.” Amanda spoke up.
None of them had any idea how the situation would come out, nor which in favour the Admiralty would go in; but they were all waiting their turn to speak. McCoy said nothing as he came over to sit with them.

Jim was, for the first time, glad that the Admiralty had called him first. He was right in knowing that Marcus was not at all happy with his noncompliance to tell him what happens after Vulcan. So much that they shooed him off in favour of grounding him until a proper decision about him could be made: Where Marcus would privately speak to him.
So far; Jim has been able to protect that which he needs to.

As soon as Jim walked out the doors, there is a swift movement as those gathered quickly stood.
“Jim.” Spock greeted first.
Jim smiled at him, “Hey you.”
“Well, what did they damn well, say?” McCoy grounded out.
Jim chuckled. “They’ve grounded me until they come to a proper decision about me can be made; they’ve also grounded the Enterprise until such a decision also.” At this Spock frowned. “Don’t know why either, Spock. They also withdrew; they won’t see you or anyone else unless their business doesn’t involve time travel, resting with what I’ve said.” Jim said.
Spock frowned at this more so, as well as the rest of the group: their decision made no logical sense.
Jim chuckled. “C’mon you guys, lighten up!” He said, clapping Spock on the shoulder happily. “Can we get out of here, now?”
Spock looked to Sarek and Amanda. Sarek nodded. “We shall see them at a later date.”

It was at Jim’s request they meet three days after the initial meeting of the Admiralty: they previously stating that they did not need to hear any more from Spock, or his side of events. Both Spock’s and McCoy’s positions upon the Enterprise remained unchanged, and no differed. The one who was still questioned was their decision on Jim.
Spock and McCoy met first at the designated area, a park in the middle of Starfleet, before Jim and very much surmised the meeting they would have would be Jim telling them of their decision.
Spock in saying his reasons for leaving his parents, they too decided (Amanda decided, Sarek being pulled along) it would be beneficial to hear what Jim would say.

Jim showed up right on time in his message to them all.
He grinned. “Hey, guys!” He said happily, grinning even more when he saw Amanda and Sarek. “Ma’am, Ambassador.” He greeted them.
Amanda rolled her eyes fondly, while Sarek nodded to him, “Never, Ma’am to me, Jim.”
He smiled politely to her.
“Jim.” Spock greeted with a nod.
“They tell you where they’re sticking ya?” McCoy said immediately.
Jim’s smile didn’t seem to cloud. “Nah, Marcus hasn’t decided yet. Decision remains with him.”
“Such a decision will not come lightly to him, should you remain fast in your decision not to tell him anything beyond these events.” Spock said with a frown, as if he thought something out of place.
“Hmm...” Jim voiced agreeing with him. “Well, I’m not going to go against him.”
Spock gave him an incredulous look, as if questioning him further.
I’m not going to go against him, again.
Jim shrugged noncommittally. “He’ll come to a decision, and we’ll deal with it when he does.”
Both McCoy and Spock nodded: They would, and until then, they would get to the bottom of why Jim called them out at the specific day and time, to a park of all things.

“Is it a crime to be outdoors?” Jim asked with a pout.
“You generally do not call us out for a stroll, Jim.” Spock called out on him.
Jim blinked. “Really…? Never…? That sucks. We should do that more often.” He admonished.
“If ya say so, Jimbo…” McCoy grumbled.
Jim smiled apologetically to Sarek and Amanda once more.
“I just wanted to be with you guys, that alright?” Jim asked suddenly.
Both men flinched and quickly shook their heads.
This could be one of the last times they were together, (if the Admiralty had their way).

Jim smiled when he saw that they understood, with it he scratched the side of his neck consciously, like he had an itch.
“Did you get to see the Admiralty for whatever you came to Earth for, Ambassador?” Jim asked, curiously.
Sarek looked to him. “We did.” He responded, while Amanda nodded.
“We’ll leave when all this is cleaned up.” Amanda responded.
“Good to know!” Jim said happily.

It happened just as fast, as if he had been shot;
Jim started to collapse, suddenly losing concentration.
“Jim!” Spock near on shouted, taking a hold of him quickly, and saving Jim a fall onto the pavement.
Settling on the ground, with Jim in Spock’s arms; McCoy came in quick with his scanner, to try to tell what was wrong.
Amanda clutched Sarek’s arm in fear.
McCoy’s fear alleviated when his readings went haywire. “Jim…?”
Spock could feel what was going on by the count of beats slowing by their resonating up the arm he had supporting Jim’s head on.
“Jim…?” Spock asked.
“Spock?” Jim asked back.
“I am here, as is doctor McCoy.” Spock said routinely.
Jim gave out a snuffling noise, as if trying to catch his breath. “Tha’s…tha’s good…”
Spock quickly looked from Jim’s eyes to McCoy, who was looking at his equipment for an answer.
“I—I can’t…” McCoy looked to Spock. “I don’t know the cause…. There’s nothing…”
Spock quickly looked back to Jim, knowing the sentence those words brought.
“Jim…” He tried again.
“Not….Not afraid this time…” Jim muttered brokenly.
His words did not have time to register to others.
Spock shook his head, a look upon his face complete helplessness and brokenly hurt.
“Do not….” Spock tried, his voice broken. “Do not go where I cannot follow…” He requested. “Not again, please.”
Jim snuffled again, his eyes heavy as he tried to blink, his brain slowing down once more. He couldn’t see more than Spock himself. Somewhere in his mind he knew Bones was there somewhere.
He knew this dark bleak road; with it he tried to focus again on Spock.
He was able to touch him this time.
“Jim…” Spock called again, Jim focused on him, and he saw the raw emotions on his face, his shields completely broken and open enough for him to start crying.
Jim remembered him crying once before.
“Don’t…” Jim tried calling out, wanting nothing more than to have the power to make Spock stop his lone sparse tears.
Don’t cry no more.
Spock shook his head again helplessly, barren as to why this was happening. Why again it was happening.
Jim forced himself to swallow.
What was that word?
That all-encompassing word he had been practising?
“T’hy’la,” Jim called out to Spock.
That was the word.
“You—you knew what that word meant all along.” Spock looked even more devastated when Jim made a small nod into his arm; his eyes wide and teary.
Another tear rolled down and dropped onto Jim’s shoulder.
“Been….” Jim breathed. “Been…practising it…Wanted to say it…once…”
Spock lent forward to bring his forehead to touch Jim’s, if just in an attempt to help him.
“Tor ri hal-tor wilat to kup-ri zahal-tor, T’hy’la.” Spock muttered again against Jim’s forehead.
Jim slowly blinked again: his focus slowly slipping again, Spock got a little darker, as if someone had gone and turned out and covered the sun.
What was that other phrase Jim hadn’t been able to say before?
Jim tried to think as his grip on Spock lessoned with his strength fading, he could feel Spock holding on tighter.
Tor ri hal-tor – Kroikah! He heard Spock cry out pleadingly, perhaps not with out-loud spoken words. Sanu!
No, not those words…
Tushah nash-veh…
That was close; but still too sad, Jim thought hazily, still trying to think, and keep a hold on Spock.
He was tired.
He couldn’t think fast enough.
There was no light.
Perhaps Jim smiled one last time.
Yeah, that was it.
Maybe, he thought one last time; perhaps Spock would know what he had tried to say for such a very long time,

Taluhk nash-veh k’dular.
I Cherish Thee.

/To be Continued…

I remember tears streaming down your face;
When I said, “I’d never let you go,”
And all those shadows almost killed your light.
I remember you said, “Don’t leave me here alone.”
Just close your eyes,
You’ll be alright; no one can hurt you now,
Come morning light;
Hold on to this lullaby;
Even when the music’s gone,
You and I’ll be safe and sound.