Chapter Text
“I’ll ask again Doctor,” Missy said abruptly when he returned her to the vault. “Are you alright?”
He took a moment before he spoke again.
“Of course. I’m fine.”
He punctuated his words with a grin, but she saw right through it.
“Don’t lie to me, Doctor,” she accused as she strode over to him. “You’re anything but fine.”
She gave him a moment to confess, searching his eyes for the truth. He declined the opportunity and remained silent. He’d said all he wanted to say. He’d shared so much with her over the past few decades, he’d let her in, but he couldn’t share this with her. He didn’t want to put this on her.
“You’re lying to me, Doctor,” she stated. She knew him better than anyone else in the universe; she knew when he was lying. “You’re dying.”
She could see his shoulders fall as the weight of her words washed over him. He didn’t say anything. What could he say?
“Oh. You are dying. I hoped you’d prove me wrong.”
Her words hung in the air between them, her cavalier tone a contrast to what she had said.
“Well, go on then. Regenerate. I’ll wait. I suppose I’ll miss this face, but I’ll deal with it. If you concentrate hard enough, you might be able to become a Time Lady like me.”
“I can’t.”
“Nonsense. It’s not that hard. Even you could do it. See the trick is, once the regeneration starts, focus really hard on the breasts and then the rest takes care of itself. I can provide a visual if you need some help.”
She started to undo the buttons on her jacket only to be stopped when he covered her hands with his own. She looked up at him in confusion, eyes wide like a puppy who got told off for doing something clever.
“I can’t regenerate.”
The words were harder to get out than he thought they would be.
“Oh.”
“I tried. I got a friend to… trigger it, but I couldn’t do it. This body is the end of the road for me I’m afraid.”
“Doctor.” She let his name hang in the air for a moment – she knew how much he loved to hear her say it – then she finished with an abrupt “no.”
She didn’t accept his conclusion.
“Missy,” he pleaded, an exhausted request from a dying man. He didn’t know what he was asking her for. Maybe it was for her to not take advantage of him. Maybe it was for her to tell him it would be okay. Maybe it was for her help. He really didn’t know. “Missy, please.”
But Missy seemed to know what he needed. She took a hold of his biceps and sat him down in a nearby chair, climbing onto his lap once he was seated.
“Oh Doctor,” she sighed, softly caressing his cheek. “Who do I have to kill?”
He sat up abruptly, nearly dislodging her.
“Why would you have to kill anyone?” he asked, flustered by the question.
“Because they’ve killed you, silly,” she replied as if this was obvious. “I won’t let anyone get away with doing that to you.”
“No one’s killed me,” he replied a little too quickly. “I am responsible for this. It’s my fault.”
“Liar.”
He didn’t argue with her.
“Someone is responsible for this and they will pay,” Missy retorted. “So tell me who so did this so I can make them regret ever laying a finger on you.”
He remained silent, deliberately avoiding her gaze. He didn’t try to talk her out of it like she expected him to. He wasn’t going to give her a name.
“Oh, I see,” she said, her face falling as her hearts started to crack. “It was me.”
She moved to stand up, but he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back into him. She had to know that he didn’t blame her.
“So how did I do it?” she asked, trying and failing to keep her voice from shaking. “Was our time on top of the piano too much for you?”
Her joke fell flat and they both knew it. The Doctor could see her distress increasing with each passing moment. He was dying, but it was killing her that she had unknowingly caused it. She needed to know what she had done. He could see it again, the tears welling up in her eyes. He kissed her swiftly before they could fall, winding his fingers into her tangled hair.
“Doctor,” she murmured in a small voice when he pulled away. It wasn’t supposed to hurt like this.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he spoke again.
“When you were sentenced to death, when I saved you, I didn’t just disconnect the wiring. I had to send the charge somewhere. I had to reroute it back to me. Luckily, with your grand performance, no one noticed that I was the one who got shocked. My body is fighting it, but it’s only a matter of time – one thousand years minus a few decades.”
“Oh Doctor,” she sighed, “you sacrificed yourself to save me?”
“Of course,” he replied as if it was obvious and how dare anyone question his loyalty to her. “You’re my friend – my best friend. The closest friend I’ve ever had. ”
His actions said more than his words, but she appreciated the words all the same. She hoped he knew that.
Missy tucked her head into the crook of the Doctor’s neck and lay her hand on his chest, fingers splayed over one of his dying hearts.
He felt a teardrop on his collarbone.