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Magnus laid in bed, hands folded on his stomach, staring up at the ceiling. He could hear Alec breathing next to him sound asleep, it almost felt as if today hadn’t happened, that him and Alec were in love happily, that Magnus hadn’t gone through torture and that he didn’t feel like his whole world was crumbling down around him…almost.
He doesn’t know why it surprises him, he’s centuries years old and the downside to that is knowing that no one will ever truly know all of you. But still it’s eating away at him, the reminder that not one person in his life noticed the change in him. Valentine fooled everyone while in his body and everyone believed it despite his begging.
Alec and him haven’t been together that long really, yes they spend most nights together at his loft, yes they’ve almost travelled the whole world together and said I love you but really in comparison to the rest of his life it has been but the blink of any eye, and maybe Alec doesn’t want to know the tragic backstory that he’s tried to bury. Maybe Alec likes the flamboyance and the confidence and the happy attitude. So when Magnus was begging Alec just to believe him and trying to make him believe in their love while he was being bombarded with memories of his mother, he couldn’t expect him to recognise him, because that’s the him Alec doesn’t know. Of course Alec was quick to dismiss him, quick to almost execute him. It was inevitable.
Jace not believing him didn’t surprise him, he had but one conversation with Valentine as Magnus and he didn’t know Jace that well, it doesn’t matter that they had been roommates for a while, neither had made that much of an effort and he was a bit much for the mighty Herondale boy to look past the façade anyway.
Who did surprise him was Dorothea, he’s known her for centuries but still she assumed Magnus was just being guarded and unwell when he called her to help him with his magic.
Is this his legacy, bits and pieces of his personality strewn across many people in many different circles. Altogether perhaps they would make a full person, one that someone would know and love and be able to tell was different in a heartbeat. But when you don’t allow yourself to open up to everyone, or no one ever really asks, the mask stays up, the parties continue and no one notices when you’re being tortured and about to die.
Magnus turned onto his side to face Alec and watched his face as he slept. He was so peaceful and happy here in his bed. Maybe Magnus’ life wasn’t about him, maybe this is just what it was, not having anyone to truly hold you or heal you, just being there for others, and honestly if Magnus’ legacy was to keep Alexander happy and help him continue in his life so that the people around him knew who he was and helped him strive then maybe that was enough.
Even if it meant Magnus continued to be a little broken.