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Marvin felt like banging his skull into the wall the moment that Jason accepted the invitation for a housewarming party at his new neighbor’s apartment. It’s not that they didn’t seem like nice people. Marvin just would have preferred to have spent his Saturday night on his couch, watching a movie, with Jason at his side. Not in his neighbor’s apartment, mingling and making awkward small talk.
When they arrived at Charlotte and Cordelia’s apartment, Jason ran straight to the food table, leaving Marvin alone to make attempts at small talk. About an hour later, and nothing had changed. Jason was still preoccupied with the food table and Marvin despised talking to people.
Another couple walked away from Marvin, after he was giving clipped answers to their questions. He couldn’t help it that he wasn’t interested in new medical advances or a trip to the Hamptons. His eyes glanced around the living room of Cordelia and Charlotte’s apartment, it looked like a homey apartment that had a sense of love in the walls. Something that Marvin’s apartment was lacking. He spotted Jason taking a bite of cookie and inching his way back towards the food.
This was utterly boring. There was maybe fifteen people there total, and Marvin guessed that all of them were of no interest to him. Marvin sipped from some sort of punch that had been laid out. Jason appeared at his side, munching on a new cookie. He wondered how long he could be here until it was appropriate for him and Jason to escape.
The sound of Cordelia letting in another guest slipped through Marvin’s mind as he prayed that no one would come over to try to talk to him. As soon as he heard the voice of the new occupant a chill ran up his spine.
“Whizzer!” Jason called out in a jovial tone as he walked over to the doorway. Jason had often brought up about wanting to see Whizzer, after him and Marvin broke up. Marvin used the claim that it would be awkward and that Whizzer was probably busy. These flimsy excuses had never warded Jason off, he probably knew that his father was lying.
Marvin couldn’t help but glance up as soon as Jason said Whizzer’s name, even hearing Whizzer say a greeting to Cordelia caused an odd feeling to course through Marvin’s veins. Whizzer looked the same as he did a year ago. He hadn’t aged a bit. He was still as beautiful as he was the day that Marvin last saw him and that stung like hell. Marvin hoped that maybe there would be some signs that Whizzer had changed. He didn’t know what he hoped for. But, a selfish part of him wanted Whizzer to be just as hung up on Marvin, as Marvin was still on him.
Whizzer’s eyes widened in surprise at the sight of Jason and immediately bent down to Jason’s level. Marvin couldn’t hear whatever Whizzer was telling Jason, but whatever it was, it caused Jason’s face to light up.
Inevitably, Whizzer’s eyes lifted up to Marvin’s and for a moment Marvin couldn’t breathe. It was like falling into an abyss that you could never hope to get out of. A number of unknown feelings welled up inside of Marvin, things that he hoped to never have to face again. Things that he felt when Whizzer was an everyday thing. Whizzer’s eyes were blank when he looked at Marvin, and Marvin prayed that his eyes weren’t giving away how he was feeling.
Whizzer looked away and focused his attention on Jason. Marvin took another sip of his drink and tried to shift his mind away from the fact that his ex lover had walked through the door. As well as the fact that he was still in love with Whizzer.
For the next half hour Jason was stuck to Whizzer’s side. Marvin stayed off to the side, with a new person attempting to speak to him every so often. He couldn’t help but watch Whizzer as he charmed whoever he talked to. It was one of the things that caused Marvin to first fall in love with him.
“Hey.” Charlotte said, as she approached Marvin. Marvin looked up at her and nodded a greeting. Marvin didn’t know a lot about his new neighbors, but Charlotte seemed nice enough.
“Do you know Whizzer? Jason has been next to him since he got here.” Charlotte asked, Marvin fidgeted uncomfortably as he tried to think of a way to escape this conversation.
“Yeah.” Marvin said shortly. He knew that Charlotte wouldn’t care that he and Whizzer were together. But, he didn’t need her to know his personal life. He wanted to keep his and Whizzer’s previous relationship private.
Charlotte shifted slightly, as if waiting for Marvin to elaborate. Marvin remained tight lipped and glanced down at his drink. Praying for a way out of this party.
“How do you know him?” Charlotte tried.
“Long story.”
Marvin remained silent, he didn’t need to delve into his history. Tension rose slightly as he remained quiet.
“I need to check on the food.” Charlotte claimed as she walked away.
Marvin knew that Charlotte probably cared nothing about the food. Cordelia after all was a caterer. She just wanted a way out of the conversation, which was perfectly reasonable.
.
.
“Hey, Whizzer, Jason.” Cordelia said as she walked up to Whizzer and Jason.
“Hi.”
“I didn’t know you guys knew each other.” Cordelia said, raising an eyebrow at Whizzer.
“Yeah.” Whizzer said as he glanced down at the floor before back up at Cordelia. Whizzer lightly tapped his finger against his thigh, in a way to let his nervous energy out.
“I’m going to get another cookie. Whizzer, do you want one?” Jason asked, looking up at Whizzer with pure adoration. The adoration in Jason’s eyes caused Whizzer’s heart to well up in a way that it hadn’t done in a long time.
“I’m fine.”
Jason walked over to the table of food, while Cordelia gave Whizzer a look that said ‘tell me everything’.
“So, how do you know Jason?” Cordelia asked with a playful smile on her face.
“Uh, I met him through Marvin.” Whizzer said, with an almost hesitant tone.
“Marvin, really?” Cordelia tried to keep the surprise out of her voice.
Whizzer could feel his heart rate increase slightly just at thinking about the time Marvin and him spent together as… whatever they were. It was never clear between them, they would screw and fight, and fight and screw in an endless cycle.
“Yeah, we dated or something like that and it ended badly.” It felt like all the air had been sucked from his lungs as he spoke. Even thinking about Marvin still stung a little. Their relationship had been explosive and nearly destroyed each other in the process. There was no way in hell that he wanted to discuss this.
“Marvin’s queer?!” Cordelia whisper shouted in astonishment.
“What’s the big deal about it?” Whizzer asked, shifting his weight to his other side in annoyance. He glanced back to see Jason still milling around the cookie table.
“Big deal about what?” Charlotte asked as she wound an arm around Cordelia’s waist and pressed a kiss against her cheek.
“Marvin is queer.” Cordelia answered her question.
“Seriously? He doesn’t seem like the type.” Charlotte said thoughtfully.
“I’m done with this conversation.” Whizzer said exasperated, as he walked away from the couple.
Jason appeared at his side, eating another cookie. Did this kid ever get full? Jason was smiling so wide that it looked like his face might split in two.
Whizzer didn’t notice that Jason was slowly leading him towards Marvin, he was focused on his conversation with Jason. As well as trying to ignore the fact that Marvin was even in the same room as him.
.
.
“Dad! Dad! Dad!” Jason’s voice rang out.
Marvin turned to see Jason walking over to him with Whizzer trailing behind him. His heart jumped into his throat as Whizzer got closer. He was a goddamned idiot. It had been a year, his heart should be beating at a normal pace and not like he just ran a marathon.
“Hey, buddy.” Marvin said once Jason was closer. Whizzer was still trailing a foot behind Jason.
“Marvin.” Whizzer said in a short greeting.
“Whizzer.” Marvin attempted to keep his voice even. To push his emotions back and pretend that he never felt anything for Whizzer. He was just another man, who happened to be really good looking and Marvin has seen him naked. But, that’s another matter altogether.
“Dad, can Whizzer come over for dinner tomorrow night?” Jason asked with pleading eyes. Eyes that Marvin has a hard time saying no to.
“Uh, I think Whizzer probably has better things to do.” Marvin said, as he glanced at Whizzer for some sort of support. He was certain that Whizzer wouldn’t want to spend any sort of time near him. Whizzer met Marvin’s eyes and gave him the smallest of nods. It didn’t help the moment their eyes met, Marvin felt like he couldn’t speak.
“Yeah, I can’t tomorrow.” Whizzer said, it sounded like his voice was close to stammering. It was odd for Marvin to even consider that Whizzer was capable of such a thing. He was all smirks and harsh words. He barely seemed to have the ability to have his heart broken or even scratched at, especially by Marvin. There was so many other men that kept Whizzer busy while Marvin and Whizzer were together, it felt impossible that Marvin could have any influence on Whizzer.
“Please.” Jason begged.
“Maybe another night.” Whizzer offered. Marvin bit his lip at the thought of having Whizzer in his apartment. There were too many risks. It would be so easy to fall back into the pattern that they were in a year ago. Of meaningless sex and nasty words, it wasn’t worth the pain to try all that again.
“Fine.” Jason surrendered, he glared at both adults before walking off to Cordelia and Charlotte.
“How have you been?” Marvin tried in a failing attempt at small talk.
“Cut the shit.” Whizzer’s voice was harsh as he looked over at Marvin.
“Excuse me?” Marvin said incredulously.
“Do you really want to know how I’ve been?” Whizzer said as he raised an eyebrow at him.
“I asked didn’t I?” Marvin said snarkily.
“People ask a lot of things they don’t mean.” Whizzer scoffed. as he looked everywhere but Marvin.
Marvin didn’t have to deal with this. He didn’t have to listen to any cheap insults from Whizzer. He could walk away, but there was a part of him that yearned to be near Whizzer. To hear his voice, to have the chance to kiss him again.
“I don’t need to deal with this.” Marvin said, and then drank the rest of his punch before walking away. He made sure not to look back at Whizzer because if he did, he would most likely go back to him.
Marvin walked over to where Jason was by the cookie table.
“Hey kid, let’s get going.” Marvin said as he ruffled Jason’s hair. Jason nodded and grabbed another cookie before following his father towards Cordelia and Charlotte.
“We’re going to get going.” Marvin said with a strained smile to Cordelia and Charlotte, like his heart still wasn’t beating a thousand beat per minute from his short conversation with Whizzer.
“Are you sure you have to go now?” Cordelia asked, a pout on her lips.
“Yeah, it’s getting kind of late.”
“Alright, we’ll see you soon, right?” Charlotte said, there was an almost suspicious look over Marvin’s shoulder as she spoke.
“Yeah.”
Marvin led Jason out of the apartment, successfully avoiding speaking to other people and most of all not seeing Whizzer. As soon as they got into Marvin’s apartment he felt like collapsing onto his bed and trying not to think about Whizzer. He had done that enough over the past year.
.
.
The sound of knocking woke Marvin up from where he was dozing on the couch. Jason was already asleep, and Marvin had been watching some trashy television show and dozed off. His mind had been spinning after seeing Whizzer again. Like some sort of daydream that twisted into a nightmare.
Marvin stood up and stretched his tired limbs. He yawned and walked over to the door. Wondering who the hell would show up at his house this late? Marvin pulled open the door and nearly gaped in surprise. Whizzer was standing on the other side. He was dressed immaculately, reminding Marvin of the fact that he was wearing an old t-shirt and pajama pants.
“What do you wan-” Marvin was cut off as Whizzer lunged forwards and pressed his lips against Marvin’s. Marvin hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around the other man. He pulled Whizzer closer and tried to hold onto this semblance of a fantasy.