Work Text:
And I just need enough of you to dull the pain
Just to get me through the night till we're twins again
Till we're stripped down to our skeletons again
Till we're saints just swimming in our sins again
And there's a jet black crow droning on and on and on
Up above our heads droning on and on and on
Keep making trouble till you find what you love
I need a new partner in crime and you just shrug
Knock Out was sitting in his private room going through his old things again. He hadn’t saved much from the Nemesis but what he had was important. Still he couldn’t keep reminiscing, he’d only gone in there for his paints and he was wasting daylight. He was getting beyond grungy and he really needed to fix that. Something was keeping him in a daze though, a mental block even. Perhaps it was just coming off another laying or simply the summer heat, he didn’t know. Knock Out may have learned to love the strange beautiful jungle they had set up in but the hotter months were still brutal. The bugs loved them though so he wasn’t going to complain or uproot them that’s what they had air conditioning for.
Perhaps it was simply being without Shriek for so long. Without a ship the drones had to fly to and from mines and being the leader Shriek often stayed till the job was done. He wasn’t alone by any means but...he missed his mate. Carefully packing away everything in his cabinet he kicked the door shut gently with a ped and headed over to his desk.
The touch up wasn’t going to be just for kicks this time though, he wanted something nice for the upcoming occasion so he’d been working on a design for weeks. Nitpicking himself and it every few days as the time got closer. Even now as he flipped through the dozens of variants stopping on the most recent it looked off, nothing like he wanted it to, nothing like him. It would do though. He had no more time.
Making his way to the door he stopped just outside and turned to look at his inert body guards. He had been in there for a while so he couldn’t blame them for drifting into standby. Couldn’t blame his children for anything really. Especially not them. Thanks to their overall insecticon lineage the Split-spark set looked nothing alike aside from both being warrior, near royalty class insecticons. Weave being tall and massive like Shriek with brilliant greenish gold and slick black coloring which he splashed up with orange and copper details. A livelier pallet than his sire’s. Weave was also sharp and quick but surprisingly not as strong as his brother. Bob was smaller, wider and had somehow managed to inherit some of Breakdown’s rogue lingering code causing him to be bright deep blue that he relied on Knock Out to detail with wide gold optics and an even temperament for a bug. He wasn’t...stupid. On the contrary he was an amazing engineer and fighter but he was a little broken since Split sparks were not usual for insecticons, but the trait followed Knock Out everywhere he went. Bob was still perfect no matter what but he all but cried when he couldn’t be with Knock Out or Shriek and he quickly grew depressed when his brother was gone for more than a few days so after enough fits and failed trainings despite not being his best warriors Knock Out kept them close as his personal bodyguards and let Snapjaw and Aciddash guard Dustoff and Weaver instead. He couldn’t help but be a little biased but the others didn’t seem to mind.
Knock Out snapped his fingers loudly to wake them both. “Darlings~” They both shuffled in place guiltily. “Mmhmm. Weave go get Weaver and send him out to the balcony I’ll need his steady servo for my back. As for you Bob you get to stay with me!” As usual Bob screeched happily and grabbed at Knock Out’s arm to pull him into a tight hug. Knock Out stroked his narrow squared off face lovingly.
“Which balcony Sire?”
“The main one in the front Weave. Thank you.” Weave nodded and gave a curt salute before heading off to get the breeder. Knock Out picked up Bob’s servo and let the guard escort him.
“Would you like me to shine you up? Are you going to the human towns? The bright city to race?”
Knock Out sighed, trying to keep his field as neutral as possible so he wouldn’t make any of the swarm worry. “Not this time Bob but I am going to go off on my own for a bit through the ground bridge. Can you handle guarding the bridge on your own without me for a while? I really need you for this.”
“If you need me Sire. Will you be okay, are you sure Weave can’t do it while I go with you?”
“I just want to be alone for little bit. Don’t you ever want time for yourself? Ever get tired of being around other mechs?” Bob quirked his head slightly as he thought.
“I don’t like being alone. Why would I want that when the swarm is always here. Don’t you like the swarm?” Knock Out let out a short defeated laugh.
“I love the swarm, I love you. You’re just my little narcissist Bob~ You need attention. You’re lucky you’re cute.”
As the two waited out on the balcony Knock Out set out a few thing and started loading a few rags with paint stripper, handing one off to Bob so he could get his back. He had trained Bob to be so gentle, so careful, that he only had to use one or two of his claws to get most of the paint off in a few swipes, mindful not to push the smaller mech forward onto himself or punch through metal or leave shallow dents.
When he and Weave hatched from the same egg Knock Out was sure Shriek was going to kill both of them. He had nothing to go off of just his own wild fears and desperation to hold onto any memory of Breakdown he could but knowing….he just had to move on. Shriek couldn’t have cared less, just gushing over Bob’s blue and silver speckled metal and thick spiny arms. He was a fat proper little sparkling. Him and Weave both taking much more time to grow than the warriors or the drones of their brood. Still Weaver insisted they were nothing but warriors themselves thanks to Shriek’s insistence on keeping his drone form despite his new status. Shriek didn’t mind keeping them as such, not a jealous overly prideful bug he didn’t need to worry that his offspring would be treated unfairly. Still even that they grew too fast for Knock Out’s aching spark. Not like spark-born offspring. He’d never wanted sparklings before that had always been Breakdown... but after Bob and Weave it was all he could really think about. He loved all of his swarm but it wasn’t the same despite how hard he tried not to show it. Knock Out knew Weaver had arrived when Bob starting hissing, his plating puffing up with steam till he felt like a small sun at Knock Out’s back. That was at least one thing Bob did get from Shriek at least. Knock Out pat at his arm till he calmed.
“Bob we go over this every time silly, Weaver isn’t poisonous to you. Stop hissing at him.” Knock Out hated making the others think Bob was stupid even if he was a little slow but it was better than the alternative of Weaver going after the young insection to reaffirm his status. He didn’t exactly want Bob winning that fight.
Weaver just rolled his many eyes as he sat down, Knock Out instructing Bob up to go stand by his brother so the two weren’t in as close quarters. The breeder hissing under his exvent himself. “Mutant freak. A shedding from birth Shriek should have had the honor to snuff you the moment he saw you.”
“I heard that Weaver. How many times do I have to tell you he’s not Weave’s shedding. He’s his own mech and he means more to me than you know.”
“Believe me Sire, I know~ It’s the only reason I haven’t given him mercy myself and why you can trust I never will no matter how insolent he is. Now what design will I be assisting you with today?”
The new design took well into the day, two or three rain storms coming and going before he was even close to done. Weaver may have been tough as a breeder he expected perfection but that wasn’t always the worst trait. When he was done, the back blending seamlessly with the front he leaned back and admired his work as Knock Out set up the buffer. “This design of yours is lovely Sire. Brilliant like a star, like the sun itself. You put it to shame! Why do you only go back to this color around this season? Is it meaningful?”
“Oh- no…..I just think it’s a bit gaudy but with the rain and your skill you manage to subdue it without having to use as much black besides I was used to it being taken so I had to change to stand out. I can enjoy it again around here so I won’t destroy your hard work so soon.” Weaver held Knock Out’s servo tightly when the other mech moved to pass off the buffer.
“You can’t lie to the swarm Sire~ Just know we worry every time this solar cycle now.”
“It’s nothing you need to worry about. I promise...it’s…...just an old wound as they say.”
“All wounds can be mended with perseverance and the right treatment. Your own words Sire.”
“It’s….it’s one I keep to remind myself why I’m here and why you’re all I need.” Weaver chirred knowingly in response, dropping his questioning for acceptance.
“Then by all means Sire. Wear it proudly.” The drone of the buffer quickly filled Knock Out’s audials and blocked out any of his thoughts. Just the way he liked it.
By the time the sun was just starting to set he was done, Weaver wiping him down proudly with a rag as Knock Out cleaned up paints and waxes. He’d forgotten how long this sort of thing took he really hadn’t done it soon enough. Change was the spark of life and he’d spent too long of his in a bad design even if it was sentimental. He almost wanted to cry as Weaver brought him over the tall industrial mirror he managed to pry off one of the walls. It warped a bit being more decorative than functional but it did the job. He rubbed at the corners of his optics to ward any off as he stood. “Thank you for your help Weaver. Bob, Weave, go ahead to the ground bridge and wait for me I need a moment alone with Weaver.” Bob as usual protested with a crying whine but Weave dragged him along. Alone Knock Out grabbed at the insection’s arm. “I should only be gone a few hours but…..something doesn’t feel right...not dangerous just…..not right. If I’m gone for more than five send in all of our warriors with Terabite save for Weave and Bob and make sure Shriek knows. Got it?”
“Your orders are understood Sire. Take care…..I hope this ritual helps you.” As the two made their way back inside they split at the hall. Knock Out heading upstairs.
Stopping at his personal quarters again he put all his supplies away and rummaged around in his small fridge and desk for the things he’d prepared for the day, grabbing an energon prod before leaving. In the control room he found the portal already green and ready to go, the hive's memory so trustworthy. Bob cried and whined again as he got close, likely feeling his father’s discomfort. Knock Out only gave the mech a few brief touches before transforming and driving through the bridge. It had so long since he’d used his wheels for a real drive…..he really did need this trip.
A million miles away from his home Knock Out drove along the slick black roads of deep woods Main, passing human towns, passing almost all humans in general till all that surrounded him was trees and wildlife. The drive took him hours but it was dawn where he was now. A new day. The same day starting all over again. Off the path Knock Out drove into the woods for a ways before transforming when things started to look familiar. As he followed a path he’d long ago made himself he also noticed a familiar set of tracks. So his intuition had been right...he wasn’t going to be alone.
Inside the cave there were more telltale signs, broken stalactites and chipped stairs, destroyed by a heavy thing that was far too big to be in there. The further down Knock Out traveled the clearer he could hear him. Optimus.
In the large main room of the cave he saw him kneeling at one of the tombs. Knock Out moved silently, stopping at the few others before he bothered the Autobot. He left fresh cubes of energon for Breakdown and Dreadwing and a silent prayer for everyone else, just hoping that enough time had passed for their sparks to move on. It was better to get this done now so he could mourn in peace.
“How many more times are you going to bother me old man. Haven’t I helped you and your prissy upright slaggers enough?” Optimus lurched back just slightly as if he had heard a ghost. Looking towards the sound his gaze met with Knock Out’s
“Sunstreaker.” He said it so softly, so disappointed. Regretting it immediately.
“Sunstreaker died a long time ago. You know that. What are you doing here, I didn’t set up this graveyard for just anyone to come and visit!” Optimus optics’ dimmed as he slowly stood.”
“Sunstreaker it is time you gave up the con. It’s time you come home to Cybertron. You served the cause well and despite the obvious attachments you formed I never had any doubt. Ultra Magnus told me he ordered you to join us years ago. Yet you persisted…..you still persist. Ultra Magnus wants to try you for treason thinking you chose to abandon the cause but I trusted you had a reason but now……..please come home Sunstreaker…...as whoever you wish. I’ll deal with Ultra Magnus no matter what but…..I need to know why you didn’t come home to us when you were told to.”
As Optimus moved closer Knock Out moved back, the old Prime could feel the young mech's field getting colder and colder, even more distant. Filling with rage and disappointment.
“Really Optimus? You can’t even imagine why I didn’t show up? Well I’ll tell you. I came to earth. I’ve been here for years. It’s how I met Breakdown. His team split up at the time. Working as mining captain. He found me starving to death in a little burnt down town somewhere in the hell this country calls the midwest.”
“Sunstreaker-”
“AND YOU KNOW WHY I WAS THERE! BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO BURY MY BROTHER IN EVEN A SHALLOW GRAVE! YOU JUST LEFT HIS CORPSE AT SOME DISGUSTING JUNKYARD! A HUMAN JUNKYARD! AND-” Knock Out’s vocalizer cut, his voice already too strained from his screaming. A thorny lump forming in his intake “And do you know what happened to him? After you just left him there? A beautiful car like him in a dirt poor town?”
“Sunstreaker I’m sorry we didn’t have the time-”
“Just crashed landed and running to the only signal I could find and- I FOUND HUMANS RIDING AROUND IN MY BROTHER’S FRANKENSTEINED CORPSE! I- can you even imagine? I didn’t even feel him go since we had the channels closed! I didn’t even get a message! And I- The Cons- I killed the sick slaggers- AND EVERYONE IN TOWN, BURNT THE FRAGGING PLACE TO ASH AND LAUGHED WHILE I DID IT! WOULD YOU HAVE REALLY WANTED ME AROUND YOUR BASE WITH YOUR PRECIOUS HUMAN FRIENDS AFTER KNOWING? WOULD YOU?
“Sunstreaker-”
“SCREW YOU OPTIMUS! SCREW YOUR CAUSE- SCREW YOUR LIES! I- “ Knock Out was breaking down now, shaking so hard Optimus could see his plates rattling, his struts about to give out. “Breakdown saw me with Sides. I’d managed to force him back- He always loved his alt more- BUT IT WASN’T LIKE IT WAS HARD! I MANAGED TO FIGURE IT OUT IN KLICKS RATCHET COULD HAVE DONE IT IN LESS!”
“Sunstreaker you don’t know what we were dealing with, how much we- If you had come to us I would have helped-”
“I. DON’T. CARE! I DIDN’T NEED YOU! DIDN’T WANT TO SEE YOUR OLD UGLY FACEPLATE LIE THROUGH YOUR DENTA! YOU COULD HAVE TRIED HARDER I’VE SEEN YOU DO STUPIDER STUNTS FOR LESS MECHS! BREAKDOWN ACTUALLY CARED! HE CARED ABOUT ME! Then- Oh Primus Breakdown- I never should have gone with him. Never pulled him into my mess-I- I didn’t even know he was the important one….he…..he didn’t act like- He reminded me so much of Sides…...helped me bury by brother here….kept me going-.... loved me.” Knock Out fell to the wet dusty ground in a heap, hugging at himself as he tried to keep whatever semblance of composure he had left.
“Sunstreaker you know I wouldn’t want to cause you a pain like this, I would have-”
“YOU WOULD HAVE JUST COVERED UP YOUR MISTAKES!” Knock Out was frantic now, voice hoarse and cracking, coolant streaming down his face, em field a storm of biting static.
“My mistakes are no reason to turn back to the Cons.”
“You know it’s not the Cons! It was just staying away from you! Breakdown just happened to be a Con and then….when Starscream needed a medic I was still on the list. Made a clean getaway.” Knock Out went quiet for a short time and Optimus took his chance to inch closer. “You know when Starscream wanted me to kill Megatron for him I thought….perfect I could put everything behind me and go home a hero….I was even gonna risk it despite Soundwave’s lingering, his ugly devotion to a corpse. And knowing what I know now I should have because it would have been so perfect but I thought why bother? It’s not really my fight anymore and I’d just waxed. No reason to get scratched up for something that wouldn’t even change anything. Starscream would still have fought, Soundwave too. So you’re welcome I guess.”
“ We can move on from this. There are still mechs who care for you, who remember you like Mangus and I have. Just because they kept quiet and acted as your enemy doesn’t mean they didn’t know who they were fighting.”
“That’s a laugh. Bumblebee and Bulkhead don’t even remember my face! Couldn’t even recognize one of my brothers old paint jobs, his own damn helm! I’VE BEEN RUNNING AROUND AS SIDESWIPE’S GHOST AND NOT EVEN RATCHET GAVE A SECOND THOUGHT TO PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE! They can barely keep a secret for a few days let alone pretend that they don’t know me! Unless they’ve forgotten that they did. I know I’m a great model but my signatures still the same.
“Sunstreaker please let me talk-
“STOP! CALLING! ME! THAT! I JUST CAME HERE TO BE WITH MY BROTHER AND YOU’RE RUINING EVERYTHING! SUNSTREAKER IS DEAD! JUST A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION...and mine. You may as well tell Ultra Magnus to go ahead and put a bounty on my head because I’m not leaving this mudball any time soon…. i’m not going down without a fight and you know that.”
“Please come with me Knock Out. There’s no reason for this. We can find a way to deal with what Megatron’s done to you.”
“Oh? Like locking my swarm away in the bowels of the Nemesis while you let Wheeljack and Bee torture me for information.
“They never hurt you. Wheeljack thought they had left you alive on purpose, that Starscream had sent you away for something. We thought there was a reason you were still acting-”
“TAKING ME BACK TO THAT SHIP WAS TORTURE, KEEPING MY SWARM FROM ME WAS TORTURE. WHEELJACK HURT THEM, BULKHEAD HURT THEM! ARCEE HURT THEM! STOP LYING OPTIMUS!
“They were violent themselves. You couldn’t have expected us to let them cause damage or harm-”
“THEY WERE JUST TRYING TO GET TO ME! TO PROTECT ME! DID YOU CARE? DID YOU EVEN THINK THAT MAYBE THEY NEEDED ME? JUST BECAUSE THEY DISGUST YOU AND YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THEM DOESN’T MAKE THEM MONSTERS! They love me. And that’s more than I can say for you? I know what I’ve done disgusts you….you could always be such an old prude Optimus.”
“They’re dangerous Knock Out….we can help you. I know Megatron forced you to do this but you don’t have to live with them for the rest of your life. You can move on.”
Knock Out was laughing again, shaking his head as his last few tears slipped down his face plate. “You don’t get it Optimus. Megatron may have forced the situation but I chose to follow through. I love them, the swarm, Shriek. I’ve given more broods to them than they’ve had in millions of years...and I love doing it. They’re mine Optimus and I won’t leave them.”