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It was another great haul on the hit parade that was their world tour. They were in some city in Europe; at this point they could barely keep track of where exactly they were. Probably in the UK by now. Roadhog would have to check when they got to a hotel. At the moment he was a little too busy speeding the hog through crowded streets and trying to keep Junkrat from shooting anymore grenades out of the sidecar. The loot was stashed semi-safely into the trunk compartment of the bike but a lot of it was shoved haphazardly into the sidecar with Junkrat. Luckily, he didn’t take up much room. The younger man howled with laughter as they sped onto a highway out of the city.
They had taken to staying in small towns rather than cities ever since the time some cops were brave enough to try and take them down and they ended up leveling almost a square block. Though it was fun, they needed to avoid close calls like that in the future. Plus, having to restock supplies was sometimes a little tricky. Roadhog didn’t share this with Junkrat, though. He didn’t tell the younger man, his former boss, about any concerns he had about this world tour. They were both having way too much fun to stop and worry about the details. Roadhog wanted to keep this going as long as possible. He hadn’t had this much fun in a very very long time. Before the Omnium and ALF, probably. He certainly hadn’t spent this much time with one person since…well, since a long time ago. He could feel in his gut that there was something very different, very special about Junkrat, could feel it since the man first hired him as a bodyguard. Since then, they’d grown into more than hired gun and man on the run. More than partners in crime, even. Friends wasn’t quite the right word. There was something more between them than that word implies. Roadhog felt like they were bonded for life and he had a feeling that Junkrat felt similarly.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about there, mate?” Junkrat interrupted. He grinned wildly up at Roadhog from his seat in the side car.
“Oh. Nothin’,” Roadhog replied casually.
“Yeah fuckin’ right. I can tell when yer thinkin’ about somethin’ serious. Yer such a serious dude sometimes. C’mon, Hoggie, lighten up! We just had one of our best heists yet! We should celebrate!” Junkrat’s speech always included a lot of wide hand and arm movements and he swung around in the side car. Roadhog couldn’t help but feel nervous about the thin man falling right out and onto the pavement. In all the time he’s known Junkrat, the kid only fell out of the sidecar once and that was cause he got shot in the shoulder. Even then he managed to hook his peg leg into the car and pull himself back in. Still, Roadhog felt the urge to tell him to be careful.
“There you go again! You drift into thought so easy, Mako,” Junkrat said, using his real name to give the sign that he really did want attention.
“You’re right, Jamie.” Roadhog returned the message, glancing towards the right to show he was actually listening. “We should do something to celebrate.”
“That heist was almost a celebration in and of itself! I had a blast!” Junkrat paused for a second before cackling loudly. “Get it!? A blast?! I didn’t even mean ta say it that way,” he laughed loudly. Roadhog quietly chuckled. The kid really did enjoy himself and Roadhog almost hated how easy it was for Junkrat to make him smile.
“Anyway, Mako,” Junkrat said once he calmed down, “Let’s do something fun once we get into town. Go get a pint or somethin’.”
Roadhog grunted in response. “I have another idea,” he said as he pulled the bike off the highway and towards a town.
“Oh?” Junkrat leaned up in the car. “Wha’sat?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Oh really!” Junkrat howled, clearly very excited by the idea. He was usually the idea man of the two, so for Roadhog to have some plans of his own was a very exciting prospect. Junkrat began to think of all the possibilities that it could be but nothing really seemed quite right. It was hard to judge what Roadhog would do next since he was usually following Junkrat’s lead. Any other time Roadhog had a surprise for Junkrat it had been something sexual, which certainly wouldn’t be unwelcome, but Junkrat was hoping for something a little different.
They pulled into the parking lot of a motel and Roadhog went into the lobby to get a room while Junkrat stayed with the loot. A minute or so later, Roadhog returned with two sets of keys.
“Gonna’ be any problems?” Junkrat asked.
“Nope.”
They unloaded their things and head into the room. Junkrat began wiring the place with traps and explosives while Roadhog unpacked some of their clothes. Once that was mostly finished he turned to Junkrat, “I’m gonna go out for a bit. Gotta pick up something. You stay here. I’ll give the usual knock to let you know it’s me. If I’m not back in three hours, pack up the things, find a car, and get out of here.”
Junkrat squinted up at the hog’s mask. “Two things. No, three things. One, what the hell do ya need ta get tha I can’t come with ya? Two! Three hours!? That’s a bleedin’ eternity! And three, there’s no way in hell I’m leavin’ ya behind, mate. Ya know that. If yer not back in three hours I’m comin’ ta get yer sorry ass outta whatever trouble yer in or die right there with ya!” Junkrat stood up straight and crossed his arms over his chest with a humph. Roadhog smiled under his mask.
“One, it’s a surprise. Two, I’m sure you’ll find something to do for that long. Probably should get to making more bombs anyway. Three…” Roadhog paused, wanting to choose his words carefully. “You know I think you should go on without me. But you also know that if I were you in this situation, there’s no way I’d leave you behind, so fine. If I’m not back in three hours, stash the loot some place and come with all the ammo you’ve got.”
“Now that’s more like it!” Junkrat exclaimed. “Okay fine, I’ll wait for ya, mate. But don’t take so long if ye can help it. Ya know I get massively lonely without ya.” He flopped onto the bed and smiled widely at Roadhog.
“I’ll do my best,” Roadhog said before leaving the motel room. This shouldn’t take him more than an hour, really, but in case he ran into some unforeseen circumstances he wanted to give himself some wiggle room. This was overall a kind of silly and stupid idea. In the pit of his stomach he suddenly worried that maybe Junkrat wouldn’t be on board. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his head and got back on the bike, heading into town.
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An hour had passed and Junkrat has assembled enough bombs to blow whatever town they were in off the map. That seemed like a good day’s work. Or was it night time now? He leaned over to look out the window. Sunset. So he was half right. Now what, though? He could work on some blueprints for a new mechanism he had been thinking about earlier in the day. Or he could assemble some mines. They were a bit trickier than the grenades and were both fun and frustrating to build. When was Hog gonna come back? It felt like forever since he left but it could’ve also been just a couple minutes. He glanced over at the clock. Only an hour. Not time to go looking, guns blazing. He got up from the bed and paced around the tiny, dirty motel room. He was desperate to find out what Hog had up his sleeve. Well, Hog didn’t really have sleeves. Junkrat meditated on how to change this expression to fit the larger man’s wardrobe and all he could come up with was “down his coveralls”, which resulted in a serious laughing fit.
He was wiping a tear from his eye when he heard Hog’s knock on the door. Oh finally!, Junkrat thought and he disengaged the traps before opening the door. Roadhog pushed his way inside and tossed a bag onto the bed.
“So?” Junkrat said, “What’s the big surprise!?” He could hardly contain himself at this point and it was all he could do to not literally bounce up and down.
Roadhog said nothing, as he was not a man of many words, and simply opened the bag. Junkrat stood on his tip toes – or rather tip toe and peg – to try and see past Roadhog’s enormous torso. He didn’t have to wait in suspense for very long, because Roadhog turned to reveal in his hands a tattoo gun and several bottles of ink. Junkrat got kind of confused.
“What? Ya want another tat, mate?”
“Kind of, yeah.” Roadhog explained. “I was thinking we could give each other tattoos. Like…I could give you a little hog and you could give me one of those smiles…” There was a pause and Roadhog began to think that maybe this was a completely terrible idea. Junkrat probably thought he was an idiot. He was almost afraid to look at the other man, but he did anyway, figuring he had to just get this awkwardness over with. To his surprise, Junkrat had a giant grin across his face, wider than any Roadhog had ever seen on the man’s face before. It was reminiscent of the grin Junkrat had after they had kissed for the first time. But why wasn’t he saying anything?
“You…you wanna give each other tats?” Junkrat asked slowly after a minute.
“Yeah I thought it might be kinda…I dunno…fun?”
“You want my sloppy little smiley face somewhere on your body for the rest of your life?”
Roadhog hadn’t really thought about it that way. Or maybe he had. Maybe he had realized that this was a lifelong commitment, just as he had realized that being Junkrat’s bodyguard would change his life forever from day one. Maybe he had thought already that this was a step towards really solidifying what they had both been feeling for a long time now. Though they hadn’t really had a conversation about it, but neither were particularly good at talking about their feelings in general.
“Yeah, yeah I do,” Roadhog replied.
Junkrat, in a surprising turn of events, was stunned to silence. Here was a man who would travel the world with him, who would always have his back, who would die for him, and now wanted to have matching tattoos. Wasn’t Roadhog just supposed to be his bodyguard? Didn’t he hire the one man apocalypse? It was never supposed to be like this. Junkrat knew that things were never the way they were “supposed” to be. That died the first time he laid eyes on the 550 lb. behemoth. Ideas of a strictly professional relationship were buried out somewhere in the Outback and long forgotten by the time they left Australia. Even still, Junkrat had zero idea what to do with this. No one had given a single shit about him before he met Roadhog. He felt tears well in his eyes and they surprised him as much as they seemed to surprise Roadhog. Junkrat quickly brushed them out of his eyes and grinned up at Roadhog.
“Let’s do it!” he exclaimed happily, unable to control the smile on his face. “We should put em somewhere no one else can see’em though.”
“Alright. Any ideas?” Roadhog asked and Junkrat suddenly had his infamous, shit-eating grin on his face. Roadhog thought for a second that he might regret this decision.
“Yeah I’ve got an idea,” Junkrat said way too slowly. He leaned up and went to pull Hog’s mask off his face.
“No fuckin’ way. You are not giving me a face tattoo Jamie.”
“What! C’mon! No one would see it but me!”
“No. No fuckin’ way. For so many reasons. I love you, but no.” Roadhog paused, surprised by his own words. Junkrat rocked back onto his feet and looked up in amazement.
“You love me?” he said quietly. “You love me! Ha! Ya finally admit it!”
“Fuck,” Roadhog murmured.
“Oh Hoggie!” Junkrat leaned back up on his toes to get into Roadhog’s face. “I love ya too, Mako,” he said softly and pulled the hog mask up to plant a kiss on the older man’s lips. “Now, how ‘bout an ass tat!?”
Roadhog laughed. “Sure, an ass tat sounds good.”
Junkrat unbuckled his shorts and pulled them down along with his boxers to reveal his pale ass cheeks. “Do me first!” He flopped onto the bed and arched his back to give Roadhog lots of space to work.
“Okay but you have to stay completely still. I’m not kidding. I’d hate to fuck this up.”
“Yeah yeah, I’ve gotten a tattoo before, mate.”
Roadhog got the gun ready and prepped Junkrat’s skin. They were both already dying slowly of radiation poisoning and getting shot at on the regular, it would just be stupid if the kid died of a fucking infected ass tattoo. He thought briefly on what he should put on the younger Junker’s skin. Maybe “Property of Roadhog”. No, that was a little too much. Maybe a matching hog to the one he had on his own stomach and an “M.R.” for his initials.
Once he had it all planned in his head, he set to work. Every once and a while he would check in with Junkrat to make sure he was doing okay but, unsurprisingly, the younger man was fine with a little pain. Finally, it was done. It was hard to tell if he had done a good job, they’d have to wait until it healed. He carefully put some bandages on it and told Junkrat he was done.
“That wasn’t bad at all!” Junkrat exclaimed, hopping off the bed and pulling his boxers on. “Okay, my turn!”
Roadhog tentatively took Junkrat’s place on the bed. He pulled his coveralls down to reveal himself to Junkrat, who was selecting his ink from the bag. “Do you know how to use it?”
“Of course I do,” Junkrat replied over his shoulder. “One of the few things everyone learns in Junkertown. It has been a while, but I’m sure it’s like ridin’ a bike.”
Roadhog decided to just let this happen. So what if he ended up with a shitty looking smiley face on his ass? It was from Junkrat. It didn’t really matter what it looked like.
Junkrat prepped the skin as Roadhog had and set to work immediately, seeming to give no thought to what he was going to put on the older man’s skin. He had a loose plan, his iconic smiley and maybe “J.F.” for his initials. That seemed nice enough. Who knows what Roadhog had put on him? Hopefully this would be somewhat similar or equivalent. He finished surprisingly quickly, or maybe it just felt quick to him.
“Okay, all done.” He leaned back and admired his work before carefully bandaging it. He handed Roadhog his boxers from the floor and climbed into the bed. They both carefully maneuvered themselves into the best position so that they were close but neither was putting weight on their tattoos. Once they were comfortable, Junkrat said, “Guess we’re in this forever now, huh?”
“Yeah. At least until you get yourself blown up,” Roadhog joked.
“Ha! Fair enough,” Junkrat laughed. He leaned to turn off the light and they moved a little closer, falling asleep quickly and easily. After all, they had each other till the end now.