Chapter Text
Yuzuru Hanyu remembers the first time he was in Helsinki, Finland. Finlandia Trophy, 2012. It had been the beginning of a season of many firsts. First quad salchow landed in competition, right there in Helsinki. First world record in the short program, at Skate America. Then, later, second world record at the NHK Trophy a few weeks later as he topped off the previous one by a few tenths of a point. First Grand Prix Final title, a then-not-too-shabby silver. It had been his first season under the guidance of coach Brian Orser.
The season he became rinkmates with a certain Spanish skater called Javier Fernandez.
This is what Yuzuru is thinking about on the plane ride. He’s Helsinki-bound, once again, this time for the 2017 World Championships. It’s kind of big deal, but going into this kind of competition is natural as breathing for Yuzuru at this point. Still, familiarity doesn’t silence the intrusive anxieties churning in his gut. He has music blasting in through his favourite pair of earbuds, but he isn’t really listening. There’s too much in his head.
A lot has changed since he won the 2012 Finlandia Trophy. World records, major titles, fame, recognition, new people, new friendships. New… relationships.
He shakes his head slightly. Best not to think about that right now.
Instead, his mind chooses to fixate on one other thing. That goddamned quad salchow.
He’d landed it successfully (albeit with difficulty) for the first time ever in Helsinki five years ago, but this season, the quad-sal-triple-toe combination has been throwing him off at alarmingly high rates. Memories of pops, hands down, and straight up falls from both his short and free programs this season flash by in his mind’s eye.
Yuzuru winces and changes the song on his ipod to something even noisier, hoping the music will drown out his worries.
It doesn’t.
Instead, the new song brings yet another memory. Last year, heading to Boston for the World Championships. It had been a flight like this one, but Yuzuru had sat with Javier the whole way. He had made Javi listen to this exact song. Javi hadn’t liked it, Yuzuru could tell, but he had sure been good at pretending for Yuzuru’s sake. After the song ended, they’d talked for hours about nothing in particular, before settling into comfortable silence for the rest of the flight. Yuzuru missed it- missed Javi- more than he cared to admit. They had been closer, back then. It had been a different time. Yuzu had been fresh off his new world records from GPF, both emboldened and scared for it. He had also been injured.
And ultimately, he had lost the World Championship gold to none other than Javier.
No more of that.
This year, it’s different. He’s healthy. Hasn’t broken any records yet in the season. Yuzuru knows it sounded semi-ridiculous, but he won’t be satisfied until he's broken the world records again, and bested his past self. Helsinki is his last chance to do that. To show the world who's still on top. To reclaim his crown.
His mom is fast asleep beside him, and he envies her. He’s always been a light sleeper and long plane rides are hell because of it. And this time around, Javi’s not here to make the hours tick by faster. Turning off his music altogether, Yuzuru closes the window beside him and leans back in his seat. He needs to rest. He needs to be in tip-top condition if he wants to take back the gold.
But sleep evades him. Before the landing in Helsinki, all Yuzu can think about is Javier Fernandez, the past two World Championships, his cursed quad-sal-triple-toe, and every other mistake he’s ever made.