Chapter Text
Gladiolus Amicitia was afraid of something.
Sure, no one ever put the word 'fear' anywhere near his name, but that was one of the many truths the world missed about Iris' brother. He too could feel pain, sorrow, heartbreak and frustration, just like any other mortal. Everyone had written him off as something that wasn't even human, something invincible and unbelievably powerful, but in truth, all it took was for life to poke him once-just once-and he would crumble. Iris had seen her brother crumble, literally fall apart right in front of her very eyes, out of fear. Worry. Heartbreak. Things no one that he could feel, because when did invincible titans experience such weaknesses?
So she knew. She knew better than anyone. While that provided some much-needed comfort, he hated being locked away from the rest of the world. Isolated from even those he loved, and loved him in return. One person in particular had just bolted his door away from humanity down a thousand times. Their last conversation was a billion miles away from pleasant, coming in the wake of destruction that swept Balamb Garden into a massive tidal wave, wreaking havoc on every life present. Instructor Ignis Scientia, along with every other authority figure, took up arms in defending students-
Losing his sight in the process.
That night found him no different from a paper against flame-unforgivably weak, broken, lost. A part of Gladiolus loathed the weaknesses, hated himself for giving into them, even just for a second, but there was a greater part of him that wanted the weaknesses to be seen. To be heard, understood and accepted. For what felt like an eternity, everyone believed him to be something he wasn't. They believed him to be something far away from their own kind-Noctis, Prompto and Ignis included. Ignis being the greatest blade in his side, even above unbelievably kind, innocent, beautiful Prompto.
Prompto. The name that once brought profound joy brought equally powerful nausea. Little brother had just been taken from them by someone claiming to be an ally of Balamb Garden and a long-time friend of Regis', all the while working under Sorceress Edea. Their little photographer was snatched out of the Garden in the midst of the chaos Ardyn Izunia unleashed, ripped out of their lives before any of them could even blink-and Ignis wanted to rush after him.
Ah. Not only did he fail to protect his baby brother, but there was Ignis. Divine, selfless Ignis. The man's heart Gladiolus had just broken, just a few short hours ago. He hadn't meant for it to happen, but it did-as it had far too many times in the past. Everything came out wrong, so horribly wrong, leaving the instructor in shards. When all Ignis wanted to do was help the others bring their chocobo home. But-
"Dammit, Ignis, you go out there and you'll get yourself killed! A damn baby could figure that out!"
"You won't be of any use to the kid dead, you got that?! Why do you always have to be so gods-damned stubborn?!"
As it usually did whenever Gladio wanted to express himself, everything came out terribly, horribly, insanely wrong. And so, it was on that night he faced something no one ever thought he'd have: a fear. Not just a fear, though, but his greatest fear: losing someone he loved.
In that case, two people he loved. One being on the other side of the door his back was slumped against.
It hurt, knowing Ignis was on the other side of that door feeling less than human, weak, helpless and broken. It hurt, hurt as though he had carried wounds from a previous lifetime and joined them with the wounds of the present, making the pain twofold. It hurt, feeling as though he had committed the same crime before, crushing the man he loved with ferocity beyond words without batting an eye. Hurt knowing that he, the great and powerful Coach Amicitia, had a lot to do with Ignis' pain. While Noctis, Squall and the others were preparing retaliation against the Chancellor for the inflicted chaos, the Garden's newest coach found himself unable to move on without speaking his piece. For how could he even think of looking Prompto in the eye after he had just broken one of his brothers into unforgivably small pieces?
He spent his hours as SEED coach telling his male students to be 'men among men', but that night, it was finally time for him to take his own advice.
Iris' brother knocked on the door to Ignis' dorm room, but Gladiolus was quick to stop him from moving an inch. "Don't get up, please," he urged, his voice uncharacteristically soft, most likely putting Ignis off for a thousand reasons because one: why in the seven Hells would he want to talk to the bastard that had just told him he was completely and utterly useless to his family? His baby brother?
"You don't have to do anything but listen. Just for a few minutes, Iggy. That's all."
Silence. Of course there was silence. Ignis was probably figuring out a way to kill him. With that in mind, a heavy-hearted Amicitia went on, smiling, chest feeling heavier than the moon. "Just wanted to let you know a few things, then I'll be on my way," he assured the instructor with a weak chuckle, then laid a fist against the door. Had he felt the same pain before? Certainly felt like it. Felt as though they were a dozen open, bleeding wounds covering him from head to toe. He would've preferred being boiled alive.
"Look. What happened back there, everything I said...I didn't mean for any of it to hurt you. I swear, on the honor of the Cup Noodle dynasty. It just...I'm just...really worried about the kid, and...worried about you. I don't...I know this is gonna sound completely stupid, but...I feel like...we've been here before. I feel like there was a time in which I pushed you away, tried to find you but couldn't. I know that sounds totally insane, but I can't shake it. I know we've been here before, and I don't want that to happen again. I don't want to lose you again. Not again. I just...I can't. I can't go there again. I can't go where I can't find you."
Even more tears strained his voice, not at all suppressed by someone believed to be invincible, someone that enjoyed believing he was an invincible, all-powerful giant. "I'm sorry, Ignis. I know that's not something you ever thought you'd hear out of me, but I am. In more ways than one. If you wanna tag along and help bring back the bird, you can. I'm not gonna stop you. I'll be your eyes. Your ears. Whatever you need me to be, dammit. If anyone wants you, there gonna hafta get through me-and I'm not an easy kill. A part of me still wants you to stay behind, so you'll be safe, because hot damn, I don't want anything to happen to anyone else I care about, but...if you're really set on going, then let's go. Remember: we're taking off before daybreak."
He bit his bottom lip hard enough to tear into it. "I don't even know what I expect you to say or do," he laughed, tears burning, overwhelming his vision, his being. "If you show up and never want anything to do with me ever again, fine. Just...I just want you to know I'm sorry and I love you. I love you, Ignis. I loved you in whatever lifetime we shared before this one, and I love you now. Not as your brother any more, either."
Even more silence. Well, it was what he deserved.
Feeling heavier than two moons, Gladiolus waited another second, hoping a certain head would pop out of that door and say something, anything to him, but nothing happened. With a sigh, knowing he'd return to his dorm room and do something he hadn't done in years, he began to walk away, but then-
The door opened. And that head popped out, bringing with it a light, beautiful, warm chuckle.
"You believe in reincarnation? I never would've guessed."
Smiling out of relief, happiness and shock, Gladiolus whirled around with a nervous chuckle, all the while rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I never would've guessed, either. Go figure. Learn something new every day."
Ignis stepped beyond the door to his dormitory, with Iris' brother instantly rushing to his side, heart racing, unable to believe Ignis had even emerged-but the instructor steaded himself with his cane, shaking off the other's concern with a reassuring, warm smile. "Funny how you brought up the subject of past lives," the Garden's adored instructor said with a nod, face no longer worn down by exhaustion and sadness, but ablaze with light.
"I've been feeling that way too, truth be told. About how we've been here before. How I couldn't find you. I've been thinking, among many other things, that I repulsed you in that lifetime-just as I've disgusted and shamed you in this lifetime."
Horror broke out on the coach's face, swift and powerful. "You? Disgust me? Maybe when pigs fly," he replied with an anxious chuckle, drawing the other into his arms as though Ignis were made of the most divine, fragile thread. Seeing the instructor make absolutely no move to pull out of his grasp, Iris' brother kissed the bridge of his nose, then his cheeks.
Ignis still made no effort to escape. "I'm going with you, you know," he declared, his voice rebellious, soft, filled with longing. Gladiolus cupped his face, lifted his glasses and kissed his eyes.
"I know."
"I don't want to stay behind."
"I know. Because you're so damn stubborn. Always were."
"Do you think he's all right?"
"Who, Prompto?" Gladiolus, despite his chest feeling heavier than ten moons, laughed. "Damn right I do. Kid's a hell of a lot stronger than we give him credit for. We'll find him, Iggy, and bring him home. It'll be a piece of cake."
"It wasn't entirely your fault, you know," the instructor confessed, placing his head against the other's chest, wrapping his arms around him. Ignis' voice and body became surprisingly small, letting Iris' brother know just how fragile he really was. "I feel I've become less than useless. Less than human, honestly, which was why I surrendered to your input so easily."
Gladiolus encased him in an embrace made of iron, unwilling to let go under any force's orders. "Then you're just as stupid as the kid. If anyone's become useless, it's me. There's no way in Hell you're ever gonna be useless because you're Ignis. Stubborn, stupid, beautiful Ignis."
"My, you have a way with words."
"I know. Sis says I'm a bonafide Casanova."
"She feels sorry for you, poor thing," the instructor said, wrapped his hands around the back of his friend's head, and pulled him into a kiss that wouldn't have been long enough if it had gone beyond the end of time. Ignis broke it, landing his forehead against the other's, stroking the other's face with his hands. "But I'll take 'stubborn and stupid', thank you," he murmured. With a much lighter, happier, tearful chuckle, Gladiolus pressed his lips against the Scientia's.
"And 'beautiful'. You forgot 'beautiful'."