Work Text:
Dating apps hit Coruscant like a head on collision. Obi-Wan had been off world when they first arrived, but by the time he returned every Jedi in the temple had one downloaded to their datapads. Within a few years the Jedi even had formal written rules about social media. There were intertemple apps for the younglings who wanted to post pictures and little videos, but they weren’t allowed to post anything to the larger social media sites. Knights and Masters were allowed to use outside apps, but only in approved ways.
Some of the strictest rules came from the dating apps. Jedi were allowed to have sexual relations, but not form attachments. After a few issues at the beginning, the Council decided that the only dating app Jedi were allowed to use was Jedi Connect. It was for people who wanted to hook up with Jedi. They were for one or two night stands, but no more.
Obi-Wan Kenobi knew he was a fairly popular search on JC. He’d used it more than a few times. But he found it massively unsatisfying and sometimes very unsettling. The people who he met just wanted to say they slept with a Jedi. Or they had some kind of idol worship of the Negotiator.
In his heart, Obi-Wan craved more. Which was probably why on, when on a joint mission with his former Master, Obi-Wan finally cracked. He’d broken his Temple provided data pad and had to buy a new one. This one didn’t have the monitors the temple ones did. This was why before they returned the Temple he downloaded Heart Finder.
Heart Finder was the most popular dating app in the Core worlds, and at least in the top three on every inner and mid rim planet. Obi-Wan stuck with the icon that was assigned him, never uploaded a picture of face of anything identifying, and built an entire profile for Ben Kryze, merchant traveler extraordinaire.
He told himself it was just to have a chance to talk to someone. But even he knew he was lying to himself.
Maybe that was why the person he’d connected with so much was someone whose profile he found similar. Ki Go-nn also was another traveler. He posted pictures with philosophical texts, and pictures of Jedi and non-Jedi temples he’d visited. He posted a lot of pictures of animals he’d taken, but never of the same animal. And he never posted his face. Occasionally Obi-Wan would see a thumb or something, but mostly it was nature shots.
It was nice talking to Ki. They had a lot of similar interests. They’d been to many, but not all of the same places. Ki was raising his young son, who Ki referred to as Kiny, though he assured Obi-Wan that wasn’t the boy’s real name. Still, Obi-Wan knew a number of languages where Ki calling his son Kiny was like saying the boy was a little Ki.
Obi-Wan found it absolutely adorable.
Ki was very educated, very funny, and very privacy conscious. Even in Obi-Wan’s weakest moments, he knew he wouldn’t ask to meet Ki, because he didn’t want to invade Ki’s privacy like that. The messages they sent each other always made Obi-Wan’s heart soar.
It had been such a long time since he’d felt like this. It was Light itself. And hope. And joy and passion and quietness and a lot of pain and guilt. He’d felt that way for Satine. He’d felt that way for his former Master, before Qui-Gon had moved on and left Obi-Wan behind.
In truth, Obi-Wan had been rather lonely for a while. After his other friends had been Knighted, Obi-Wan had seen even less of them. Before, Obi-Wan constantly had someone with him, and that had been Qui-Gon. But Qui-Gon had Anakin now. Anakin was so rushed to catch up on so much that even Obi-Wan occasionally tried to help tutor the boy. But he and Qui-Gon didn’t talk. His Master never really looked at him anymore even. Obi-Wan headed off on a lot of his own solo missions too. They didn’t see each other often. The one joint mission they’d had was so awkward and uncomfortable that it drove Obi-Wan to a dating app.
Obi-Wan had thought about taking a Padawan. It had been seven years since his Knighting. He was of age to find a Padawan. But really, Obi-Wan felt like he would only be picking a Padawan because he was lonely. That was selfish. Hell, Obi-Wan had plenty of days where he thought the reason Qui-Gon had been so quick to break their bond was he realized that Obi-Wan wanted too much from him.
So no, Obi-Wan wasn’t passing that on to anyone else.
He didn’t even know Ki in real life. He didn’t know where Ki lived or where he really was. He didn’t know what he looked like. He didn’t know his name or his age, except that he was raising a teenaged boy. He wasn’t even certain what species Ki was. Obi-Wan told himself it was better that way. He couldn’t get attached that.
But he was well aware that he was again lying to himself. He knew he was already attached.
It was why he was surprised when months into their interactions, Ki asked if they could meet. Obi-Wan said yes before he even had a chance to agonize about it. Ki was on Coruscant for only a short time. It was the same time frame for Qui-Gon being in the temple, and Obi-Wan wanted an excused to not have to be around while Qui-Gon ignored him.
Ki picked a place that Qui-Gon favored, but Obi-Wan chalked that up to it being a drifter way station. If Qui-Gon wasn’t tied to the temple, he would be an intergalactic drifter just like Ki. The types of places that attracted drifters attracted Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan was used to that. He didn’t think anything of it.
Ki told Obi-Wan he had long hair and would have some orange blossoms braided into his hair. Easy enough to find.
Obi-Wan agreed, deciding two things before he’d even finished setting up his date. The first was that he deserved to have a few hour to himself where he didn’t have to worry about everything he normally spent so much worrying about. The second was simply who would believe anyone who said they’d been talking to Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi, for months online? Obi-Wan already had a reputation for sticking hard to the code.
Obi-Wan left the Temple so he could have time to take the long way to the meeting spot. He arrived exactly on time and felt very proud of himself for doing so.
It didn’t take him long of looking around to see someone with a number of baby sized orange colored blossoms braided into his hair. Obi-Wan made his way over instantly, not even thinking of anything except being excited.
“Ki?” Obi-Wan asked, breathless with excitement.
That excitement turned to a cold fear when the man with the flowers in his hair turned around, revealing himself to be Qui-Gon. A number of possibilities ran through his mind. The first was what if Qui-Gon had been pretending to be someone else to catch wayward Jedi. Even if he hadn’t, he’d be obligated to turn Obi-Wan in.
“I- I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan said. He quickly turned on his heel and rushed out.
He basically got outside before he just didn’t have the energy to go far. He ducked into the alley and leaned against the wall. His eyes stung. This was why he didn’t break the code. He couldn’t get away with anything. Anakin could get away with dating someone, but Anakin was special and young. But Obi-Wan? Even when he was young he could never get away with anything. He always got caught.
He’d just wanted someone to care about, even for a little while. He knew this couldn’t last, but he’d hoped to see Ki sometimes. Just sometimes would have been good. He wanted someone to kiss and hold hands with. He wanted someone who wanted to tell him their secrets and to whom he could whisper a few of his own.
Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut tight, willing his tears to stay down. He knew Qui-Gon would come find him. He just didn’t want to be a blubbering mess. If he was going to be censured, then he was at least going to keep what he could of his pride.
“Obi-Wan?”
There he was. Right on time.
Obi-Wan opened his eyes, finding his former Master was standing very close. To Obi-Wan’s surprise, Qui-Gon looked concerned.
“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan hated how weak his voice sounded in his own ears. Qui-Gon just frowned deeper.
“So, you’re Ben then? I feel like I should have known,” Qui-Gon said.
“You didn’t know?” Obi-Wan asked.
“Why would I do this and risk… well… I guess from your reaction that you didn’t know either… why are you here?” he asked.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath and let it out. He could lie, but why bother. “I’m lonely, Master. I just wanted to… not be for a little while.”
“Why didn’t you come find me then?” Qui-Gon asked. His brows furrowed and Obi-Wan found himself laughing bitterly.
“You made it very clear that I and my affections weren’t wanted. I wasn’t going to force my presence on you like that.”
“Sith Hells, is that what you thought?” Qui-Gon demanded of him.
Obi-Wan stared at him. He didn’t know what to say. He stared dumbly at Qui-Gon for a while and the silence stretched out between them. He must have been silent for too long because Qui-Gon let out a deeply heavy sigh. And then suddenly he was dragging Obi-Wan into his arms.
Obi-Wan stood in shock for a moment before he just melted into the touch he’d missed so much.
“I’m sorry, Obi-Wan. I made a terrible mistake. I thought that after what happened with my offering to take Anakin that you were angry and didn’t want to be around me. It seems I misunderstood.” At least Qui-Gon had the good grace to sound contrite.
Obi-Wan pressed his face into Qui-Gon’s shoulder and laughed bitterly. He couldn’t stop the moisture in his eyes from falling, but Qui-Gon’s clothes absorbed it well enough. “When have I ever, ever not forgiven you?”
“I see that now,” Qui-Gon said quietly. “I’m sorry, Obi-Wan. I’m so sorry.”
“I forgive you,” Obi-Wan whispered. His lower lip trembled, but still he forced himself to pull away from the hold of the man he’d loved for so long and missed so much. “I… suppose you’ll have to turn me into the Council now?”
“Whatever for?” Qui-Gon demanded.
“The whole… dating app thing. It’s against the Code,” Obi-Wan said.
“No, it’s against Yoda’s interpretation of the Code,” Qui-Gon said fiercely. “You know what I’ve learned raising Anakin? That love doesn’t mean putting your own wishes above the Code. It means putting other people above yourself. It’s a mother handing off her son to a stranger, knowing her horrible and difficult life will just be so much worse because there’s a chance her son might have a good life. It means breaking all kinds of rules to purchase a slave out of slavery because the people in charge won’t let you save someone. It means watching two children fall in love and being a shoulder for your child to lean on when he need comfort… it means offering forgiveness to someone who doesn’t deserve it because they need it.”
Obi-Wan felt his face heat up at that last bit, when he realized Qui-Gon was talking about him. Qui-Gon dropped his hands to Obi-Wan’s waist and gave a little squeeze.
“It means dragging someone out of a hole. It means caring for a boy the person you loved replaced you with because the boy needs it. And to be honest, Anakin isn’t the only one who taught me about Love. He’s just the one that shook me hard enough to realize what I had lost. I’ve mourned losing you for all these years. I thought finally, finally I had gone too far, hurt you too much. And now I realize I’d left you to suffer because I was too much of a coward to talk to you about it.”
“I… I don’t know what to say,” Obi-Wan said.
“Well, let me add this. I also downloaded the app. And I also talked to a stranger. And I was also looking for someone, anyone… May I remind you that my closest friends are gone? And while I was healing I realized… well, I thought anyway, that the man I was in love with had finally gotten sick of me.”
Obi-Wan sucked in a breath. He couldn’t possibly have heard that right. But Qui-Gon was smiling at him so gently.
“You made me fall in love with you, Obi-Wan.”
“I… Master, I didn’t mean to,” Obi-Wan said.
Qui-Gon smile turned so sad. He laid his hand on Obi-Wan cheek and stroked the skin above Obi-Wan’s beard with his thumb.
“I know. You kept it to yourself. You tried so hard to not burden me with anything. Trying to make you take care of yourself was like pulling teeth unless I phrased it like you were taking care of me. I fell for you when I realized that… well, you are a Jedi, through and through. You would isolate yourself rather than let me know that you loved me. You would never risk me. You would hide away what you needed so long as someone else needed you. Beloved, you care so much and work so hard. And I love you.”
Obi-Wan leaned in and kissed Qui-Gon. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea, but he just needed to so much. So he kissed Qui-Gon, and within a second Qui-Gon was kissing him back. Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around Qui-Gon’s neck and let Qui-Gon guide their kiss.
It didn’t last too long, just a few moments, but Obi-Wan was breathless when they pulled apart. He was also smiling. He rested his forehead against Qui-Gon’s.
“So… we’ll keep this secret for now?” Obi-Wan asked.
“Unfortunately, that’s for the best. I can’t pretend like this is just sex. And I need to help Anakin finish his training… and besides, I would never want to take you from the life you were meant to have.”
Obi-Wan felt so light. He had always wanted his Master to say he was a good Jedi. But Qui-Gon loved him because he was. Obi-Wan was a Jedi in his soul, and Qui-Gon didn’t think the love Obi-Wan felt hurt that. In fact, he seemed to think it helped. And Force, Qui-Gon loved him back. Obi-Wan could just start crying again if he thought about that too hard.
“Let me take you home,” Qui-Gon said. “Anakin’s away tonight. My room is open.”
“Good,” Obi-Wan said. “I’ve had a lot of fantasies about you and your bed.”
Qui-Gon chuckled quietly. They separated, but Qui-Gon took his hand. “I’ve missed you, my Imp.”
“I missed you too. So much,” Obi-Wan said. He allowed Qui-Gon to lead him out of the alley and back toward the Temple. “You realize if I knew you were lonely that I would have come to you as soon as I knew, right?”
“I know. Even if you didn’t want me anymore, I knew a mere hint of distress and you’d come running. Do you understand why I didn’t want to burden you with that?” Qui-Gon asked him.
“The same reason I didn’t ask for your time,” Obi-Wan said. “I think we’ve both been foolish.”
“That’s a polite way to say we’ve been fucking morons. But yes, Foolish will do.”
Obi-Wan laughed. He wished he could snuggle under Qui-Gon’s arm and into his side. But he refrained. They were holding hands for now. That would do until it was no longer safe, and shortly after they could get back to the rooms. Then Obi-Wan planned to do more than snuggle into Qui-Gon’s side. They had a lot of time to catch up on.